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2014 NFL - WEEK ELEVEN


RIPPA

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Ben Roethlisberger goes from being the record setting QB who scores 6 touchdowns in two games to putting up only one touchdown against the fucking Jets.

 

Please God, let the right team show up to squash the Titans.

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Many teams made bold statements last week about how terrible they really are, which means it can only be time for....

 

The Top of the Bottom: The Quest for the Goodell Trophy!

 

This week brings a new feature to TotB:  Teams eliminated from contention!  Just who is too good to be too bad?  TO THE LIST!

 

1) 0-9 Oakland

2) 1-9 Jacksonville

3) 1-8 Tampa

4) 2-8 New York (Illusionary) Football Jets

5) 2-7 Tennessee 

6) 3-6 New York Football Giants

7) 3-6 Washington

8) 3-6 Chicago

9) 3-6 Atlanta

10) 3-6 St. Louis

 

Team(s) eliminated this week: 8-1 Arizona

 

Welcome to what I'm calling the "Sometimes a team doesn't win; the other team just loses" edition of Top of the Bottom!  We had four big moments this week and two of them might cost me my posting rights; so let's look at the others shall we?  

 

Possibly the most shocking thing that happened was that the Jets didn't lose the game.  I realize the tally goes in the win column but I count it more as a "Not a loss".  I don't see this being a trend though and look forward to Rex being a D coordinator next season (and knowing my luck it'll be the Bucs).  And speaking of my beloved Tampa team, they certainly proved that they were the lesser men when the Battle for the Bottom of the NFC south happened.  Still Tampa will have to underwhelm a almost as underwhelming Washington team if they wish to stay in the chase.  Oh and Carolina fans, if you are feeling left out just remember you're a half game out from being in the chase!

 

Poor poor Arizona, not only did Carson Palmer fail at his audition for Elastic Man, the Cardinals have the prestigious honor of being the first team eliminated from the Quest of the Goodell.  Sometimes in life there are really no consolation prizes.

 

So I guess that wraps it up this week for the Top of the Bottom; tune in next week to see if any destiny-altering victories will happen.  And how about those Bears and Giants? *runs*

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If you are a Bucs fan, you should be BEGGING for Rex as your D-Coordinator next season. The Jets suck a large bag of crap this year, and very little of it is due to the defense, even with their best corner out for the season.

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If you are a Bucs fan, you should be BEGGING for Rex as your D-Coordinator next season. The Jets suck a large bag of crap this year, and very little of it is due to the defense, even with their best corner out for the season.

 

Maybe it's just because being stuck listening to Boston sports radio all i hear is "LOL Rex Ryan" crap, but in my mind he's just poison.  But even if we had him, it would be akin to trying to save the Titanic with a band-aid. 

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Cardinals lose Carson Palmer for the year

Seahawks lose Brandon Mebane for the year

49ers lose Patrick Willis for the year

Rams still has to pay for Sam Bradford for the year.

 

Yikes. Not a good time to be an NFC West team

 

 

 

A slight edit.

 

 

 

FTFY....

 

 

(Bradford's out as usual.)

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Cardinals lose Carson Palmer for the year

Seahawks lose Brandon Mebane for the year

49ers lose Patrick Willis for the year

Rams still has to pay for Sam Bradford for the year.

Yikes. Not a good time to be an NFC West team

A slight edit.

FTFY....

(Bradford's out as usual.)

Doh! I should have known.

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On the bright side I've discovered the parody Jon Gruden account on twitter and that fucker is golden.

 

Jon Gruden @Faux_Gruden  ·  23m 23 minutes ago

Bills vs Dolphins. One lives in water and one does not. If that isn't wild then I don't know what is. We're in for quite a treat tonight man

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