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2014 NFL OFFSEASON THREAD


RIPPA

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So a few reports have leaked out that the Browns are "smitten" with Johnny Fuckin' Football, and got rid of Chud due to disagreements on whether to draft him at #4. If this is true, I must admit I am a little excited. Until I remember I'm from the Midwest, Cleveland in particular, and we seemingly exist just to give east coasters a reason to feel superior. So, sorry about your abject failure of a career/debilitating knee injury in advance, Johnny. Maybe Jacksonville will pass on Bortles and you can take your talents to not quite South Beach before it all goes wrong.

Might be crazy talk but since Johnny hasn't actually declared is there any way news like this makes him pass a second and say I don't want to go to that dumpster fire and stay another year....never mind his top WR and OT are both heading to the draft.

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Man, I really hope he doesn't get stuck in fucking Cleveland!  I would totally draft him that high, though.  It just seems to be worth the risk.

 

Watch Johnny Football be the guy who turns that whole franchise around.  That would be something.

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I honestly believe that the Midwest is where JFF should end up. No one in Cleveland cares how much you drink, or how late you will stay out. As long as he wins football games, the entire city of Cleveland will turn in to one giant frat party for him.

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The Colts game finally sold out, only two remain. That may be the worst of the three since they don't have the weather excuse since it's in a fucking dome.

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Brandon Jacobs retired

 

Another RB done at 31 due to injuries

 

But Hey - a 18 game schedule will be great!

Find the clip of Howie Long shredding the NFL on one of the pregame shows about that exact topic.

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Pretty much it.

 

Let's ask the Rams post Kurt Warner about replacing a QB, for example.

 

Not that Cutler is Kurt Warner, but this is just how sports works. Cutler is just in the same spot of a bunch of other athletes that are in the right place to cash in: "You think you have to pay me too much? Too fucking bad because replacing me is a game of dice. Pay me."

 

But Warner was the drizzling shits from '02-'05; and was still an erratic turnover machine well into his Cards stint where he was stuck as a veteran mentor/placeholder type for bust boy Leinart after having just done the same for Eli. When the Rams shed Warner as their starter he wasn't one of the top 15-20 QB's in the league but Bulger was.

 

Good for him that he had that great playoff run with the Cardinals (that clinched him the HOF) or his career would've been a real uneven mess to sift through after his first three meteoric seasons with the Rams. But his departure from the Rams was just as much "Kurt's shitty now and we found the new Kurt in the form of Bulger" than a contract issue.

 

 

Sounds a lot like Jay Cutler to me, if you put it that way.

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If only...

NEW YORK—Calling his sustained mediocrity “simply unacceptable,” the NFL’s owners reportedly elected Friday to fire Roger Goodell following his eighth consecutive .500 season as league commissioner. “As much as we appreciate what he has done for this organization, 127-127-2 frankly just doesn’t cut it,” said executive vice president Joe Siclare, noting that Goodell’s record included “inexcusable” losses to the Redskins, Jaguars, and Jets. “We thought Roger would lead us forward from the Tagliabue era and create a winning culture, but unfortunately he’s only delivered more .500 football. Our fans expect better than that, and so do we.” Sources confirmed that NFL owners are confident they can start winning soon if they finally pick up a decent quarterback in the 2014 draft.

Onion

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So according to Pro Football Talk, Jim Tressel will be talking with the Browns for their job

 

Yeah because I am sure the people in Ohio are just giddy that the coach that put them on probation for a couple years is going to coach the garbage in Cleveland.

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So, his son is some random douchebag under 35 that talks like one? Shocking, though he's probably covering for something else with how often he has to use it.

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Brandon Jacobs retired

 

Another RB done at 31 due to injuries

 

But Hey - a 18 game schedule will be great!

Find the clip of Howie Long shredding the NFL on one of the pregame shows about that exact topic.

 

As I recall, that's the one where he argued for returning to the 14 game schedule?

 

I loved that one.

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Dungy said if he was coming back to football he'd want the Lions job. SO COME BACK TO FOOTBALL.

DON'T DO IT, COACH DUNGY!

He can stay retired - I never thought he was a great coach, quite frankly. Seemed like he got less from more than other guys would have.
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Dungy is great for getting a young team great. He can't take a good/great team though and get them over the hump. Look at Tampa and how dominant their D was. It took him leaving and Gruden stepping in to make that offense go. 

 

He had Peyton in Indy. He can coach up a D to Super Bowl levels but the offense won't get them over the hump. 

 

No clue if Megatron and co. would be good enough on their own with Dungy coaching up the D. Though the thought of what he could do with that D is scary. 

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Dungy said if he was coming back to football he'd want the Lions job. SO COME BACK TO FOOTBALL.

 

 

Ew.  No.  Dear god no. 

 

Honestly, I'm not sure who I want 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc...  But Dungy pretty much only rates above "the corpse of Joe Paterno" on coaches I fucking hate.

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Honestly, I'm not sure who I want 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc...  But Dungy pretty much only rates above "the corpse of Joe Paterno" on coaches I fucking hate.

 

 

My selective misreading assumes you meant he's hate-fucking the corpse of Joe Paterno?

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