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Everything posted by BobbyWhioux

  1. shit, I'm gonna play a game now THE PROLONGED DEATH OF THE WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP 1991-1995/6 Summerslam 91: LOD defeat Nasty Boys Survivor Series 91: No Defense (champs do stand tall as the survivors in the final match of the night, at least) Royal Rumble 92: countout loss to Natural Disasters [off camera title switch to Money Inc] Wrestlemania 8: Money Inc take the walkout countout loss [off camera switch to Natural Disasters] Summerslam 92: ND successful defense against Beverly Bros [off camera switch to Money Inc.] Survivor Series 92: no defense (champs pinned/eliminated in modified survivor series match) Royal Rumble 93: no defense, champs are in the rumble Wrestlemania 9: fuck finish DQ against Hogan/Beefcake, though at least they win King of the Ring 93: no defense (Dibiase pinned by Billy Gunn in an 8 man tag) [off camera switch to Steiners, off camera switch to Money Inc, off camera switch to Steiners, all within one fucking week] Summerslam 93: Steiners successful defense against Heavenly Bodies september 93 RAW: Quebecers win belts in Province Du Quebec Rules DQ fuck finish Survivor Series 93: no defense, 1/2 of the team is pulled from the show entirely and the remaining half is cannon fodder (though at least he's main event cannon fodder) [off camera switch to Waltman/Jannetty, off camera switch to Quebecers] Royal Rumble 94: technically a successful defense by Pas Les Mounties vs The Hart Bros. via ref stoppage, but overshadowed by Owen's turn Wrestlemania X: Quebecers take a deliberate countout against, as Jacques called them, The MOMs [another off camera one week carousel in which The MOMs beat the Quebecers and The Quebecers beat The MOMs] May 94 Raw: Headshrinkers beat Quebecers KOTR 94: Headshrinkers successful defense against Yoko & Crush [off camera Shawn Michaels & Diesel defeat the Headshrinkers the day before Summerslam] Summerslam 94: no title defense, and the Headshrinkers lose by countout to the team they would have defended against, Bigelow & IRS. Meanwhile, 1/2 of the new tag champs is pinned in an unsuccessful IC title defense. Survivor Series 94: no title defense, Diesel & HBK dissolve the partnership, belts declared vacant Royal Rumble 95: Holly & Waltman defeat Bigelow & Tatanka in the tournament finals next night on raw: The Smoking Gunns, who skipped the tournament entirely, beat Holly & Waltman and prove the whole tournament was a waste of time and every team in it was the thrown together jabroni tandem they appeared to be Wrestlemania 11: Owen & Mystery Partner Yoko beat The Gunns, all hail the SECOND PPV title switch in the last 4 years, and only the 4th televised change out of 17 (+1 vacancy) during that time In Your House #1: Owen & Yoko successful defense against The Gunns KOTR 95: no defense of the tag titles, and no defense of this shitshow of a card in general In Your House #2: Yoko & Owen successful defense against the now quite buried Luger & Davey Boy Summerslam 95: no title defense. In Your House #3, September 95: Diesel & HBK appear to win the belts from Yoko & Davey Boy substituting for Owen next night on RAW: syke! it was a dusty finish, belts revert to Owen & Yoko a subsequent episode of RAW: Gunns defeat Owen & Yoko to win the belts Survivor Series 95: no defense, tag champs not even on the card of a show dedicated to tag team wrestling, in a dark match instead Royal Rumble 96: successful defense against The Bodydonnas and then I think Billy Gunn gets hurt again and there's another tournament of piecemeal schedule fillers before the Bodydonnas beat the Godwins for the belts in pre-show Hell at WM12 so there you go. 4 and a half years committed to establishing irrelevance. Half the time they're not even defended, and the defenses are against glorified jobbers or piecemeal teams, and inconclusive DQ/CO losses galore. and they haven't mattered since. too bad, too, the old tag belt design of this era is one of the WWF/E's better belt designs.
  2. hell, Money Inc.'s 2nd reign stretched over 4 pay per views (in the 5 per year era) during which they only had 1 PPV defense (the DQ win against Hogan/Bruti at WM9). no wonder audience and performer alike learned that the tag belts Donn't Matter.
  3. and for the first half of that, the only change that was even televised at all was The Quebecers beating The Steiners on RAW in the "Province du Quebec" rules match that existed to allow the championship to change on a DQ fuck finish. I think you can definitely look at that period as the beginning of the end for the Tag Titles mattering (not that they wouldn't have ultimately declined anyway given the nadir of the pre-attitude years and Vince's attitude towards tag teams after the Rockers split-up experiment) Tag Belts definitely got designated as the "prove ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN (tm) IN THE WWF! UNBELIEVABLE~!" "buy a ticket to a house show and you might see a title change!" title
  4. and oddly prophetic given that the Hart/Austin double turn was imminent edit: double the post because my browser has half the brain you do
  5. and oddly prophetic given that the Hart/Austin double turn was imminent
  6. IIRC Beulah did ultimately go back to college and put herself through it on her ECW money but I cannot attest as to whether she majored in philosophy or not
  7. "...and, personally, that's why I've always thought the Hegelian Dialectic was fatuous and why I also have no use for the self-congratulatory cynicism of Nietzsche..."
  8. they say if you find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. may we all find a job we love even half as much as Jacques Rougeau Jr. loved being a complete tool https://i.makeagif.com/media/7-30-2015/-La5OD.gif https://thumbs.gfycat.com/DeafeningTatteredCuckoo-max-1mb.gif https://64.media.tumblr.com/971671d15287d0ef9d936989633e762d/tumblr_n7lu7oGpYf1qzkr3vo3_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/076be90dc6e7458e68538411e5a4422d/tumblr_p70ap7tVF31s24yedo1_400.gifv
  9. ask yourself if you really think any mere human could really execute the spinebuster as beautifully and perfectly as Arn Anderson did it EVERY TIME. Just saying.
  10. don't be so comfortable Ancient Aliens Arn Anderson THE SIGNS~! ARE THERE~!
  11. Well that explains why Billie is always the one getting pinned
  12. [w.r.t. christopher.annino's point, it's never fun to have another reminder of how full of scumbags wrestling is, nor that some of your favorite moments/personalities mean you were in a position of cheering for a shitty person all this time. The jokes are more than a little bit of distancing/denial, certainly on my part, and probably a selfish bid to not let good art get too tainted by contemptible artists who made it]
  13. his own fault for trying to dive through it to escape then.
  14. no, "Killer Khan" was just a work name https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_Khan
  15. nature vs. nurture (and the proportions thereof) is the great unsolvable debate in behavioral psychology. in WWF/E the comparable debate is how much is it that Vince's philosophy on Heroism being warped vs. how much is it just him cynically reacting to [American] wrestling fans having such a skewed philosophy on Heroism that the most successful "heroes" [Hogan, Austin] were shitbag heels who just happened to aim their heelishness [mostly] at even more contemptible targets?
  16. well, classic wrestling logic dictates that when a babyface (Bliss, Crush) is attacked and put out of action by a heel (Wyatt, Yokozuna), the face comes back repackaged as a heel aligned with their attacker against their former friend (Strowman, Macho Man Randy Savage), as they are invariably more angry over their friend failing to defend them during the beatdown and/or failing to call & visit them in the hospital than they are over the heel attacking them [since after all they're a heel, what did you expect and/or it was all meant as tough love to show the victim what a shitbag their friend was all along], so an overt kidnapping & cult indoctrination angle would almost seem superfluous. and DeVille's beatdown was glorious
  17. at least they have a nationwide system of minor league baseball players to draw from so the Marlins can at least call up enough guys to field a team to keep games being played rather than face the dilemma of quarantining the main roster through two weeks of forfeits vs letting them play and expose/infect every other team in the league. Sure am glad they didn't do the short sighted greedy thing a few months back and fire all the minor leaguers as part of a greater strategy of union busting, and thus preserved some sort of failsafe for this entirely forseeable and predictable current circumsta-- --hold on a minute I'm receiving an update...
  18. the best JR baiting segment still goes to Tony Schiavone a couple months back when he intimated during a Best Friends match that Orange Cassidy ranks among the best managers of all time and started name dropping Albano and Heenan as JR groaned. But then, Schiavone being back in wrestling and actually having fun with it is by far my favorite part of the AEW booth.
  19. if you want to know how the Giants season already is going, today Jon Miller is filling time with anecdotes about Sparky Lyle and umpire Ken Kaiser moonlighting as professional wrestlers. (Lyle lost his wrestling career when he was unmasked and MLB thus found out about the moonlighting, btw)
  20. it is also perhaps a bit of his own fault for not treating himself particularly seriously. His twitter handle is the rather self-effacing ShutUpExcalibur. He lets other wrestlers rip on him without retort. They treat him like "a goof in a mask for no reason" and he doesn't challenge that perception, and doesn't really ever reference that he "used to lace 'em up" outside of that one moment early on with Brandi. Monsoon was an old man decades removed from competition and he'd put current guys over by reacting to their best moves with "I'm glad I retired" but he never let people push him around or take the piss too far out of him without at least responding with "I'm gonna have you taken outta here in a minute" or something. The other route is to do deep Color Analyst dives that make it super obvious this is an ex-wrestler who knows what he's talking about ("Here's why this move you're seeing works, this is why you do that in this situation"), like Taz does when he's in the role. Of course, Taz is also way more famous an ex-wrestler and, furthermore, takes protecting his tough guy ex-wrestler aura far more seriously than most people, not just Excalibur. As it is, Excalibur is more of the Mike Tenay style analyst, as befits the third man of a three man team. Where he has the backstories on wrestlers and the historical context of why they're fighting, which can add to the broadcast but (obviously, since Tenay is the comparison point) is much more of a "non-wrestler" niche to fill. tl;dr he acts like a non-wrestler instead of an ex-wrestler, so people treat him like such, and thus makes the mask look sillier.
  21. exactly. It's only silly because nobody* has heard of him as an actual wrestler. If he'd been famous in the ring he'd be celebrated for upholding the goofiness of wrestling and even be expected to keep it on. Like when Liger (?) still wore his mask to Japanese Parliament or whatever.
  22. here's a fun thought: you could theoretically walk the first batter in extra innings, then if the next guy hits into a triple play you've had a 2 batter inning. here's another one: you could declare an intentional walk for that first batter, then if the next guy hits into a triple play on the first pitch, you'd have had an entire inning with only ONE officially recorded pitch thrown. these must be the unlikely pie in the sky best case scenarios that Manfred and his brain squad envisioned when they thought this would IMPROVE PACE OF PLAY~!
  23. results inconclusive on the first test of the Free Baserunner Extra Innings Gimmick, as both teams just walk the bases loaded to set up force plays and neither team bunts, and Matt Olson interferes with science by hitting a walk off grand slam
  24. just when you thought the kliq was too old to bury people...
  25. The Giants have already peaked by being The Kneeling Team. Biggest thing they'll accomplish this year (LOL who's going to actually trade for Cueto's contract in a 10 start season?) 60 games already means there's a big asterisk on whoever wins the world series this year, so in that light I'm fine with them using this as their guinea pig year to discover the 3 batter minimum, universal DH, and "start extra innings with a free runner on 2nd like this is some Rock n Jock Softball shit from back in the day" ideas are not only stupid and that nobody likes them, but that they don't even fix the problems they're supposed to solve. So we can be rid of all this gimmick bullshit before the start of the next real season.
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