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Posted

I went to see Nosferatu yesterday and really enjoyed it. I've had an AMC gift card for like two years that I hadn't used. I called beforehand to see if the gift card was even still valid. It says in small print on the card, they expire after like five years.

Anyway, tonight is going to be a quiet NYE. I think I'm going to stop in and hang out with my mom and step-father. Gone are the days of drinking and doing a lot of coke with friends or my ex. I'm not going to lie, holidays are a real test of my sobriety and will power. My weekly group and therapist sessions resume Thursday, so at least I'll have somewhere to turn in case the urges get really bad. 

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Posted

If you need to chat, hit me up. I understand about the holidays. 

I'm down to a grand total of two other cooks besides me and one just started. I'm at the point where I'm training servers to cook. And then I'm getting told the place isn't as clean as the big bosses would like it, which, yeah, I can tell. When I started this job a year ago, the GM at the time told me it was not a good store at the moment but just needed some attention. It's getting there but I'm only one person. If I stay late to clean, I'm screwing myself the next day because I won't want to get up at 5 am to catch the bus to an AA meeting, which my PO has commented on my lack of slips the last few times I've gone. I still have some each week, just not as many as I did when I first got home. Luckily (for me) the next two months or so are slower. I might get some time to clean during my shifts as opposed to staying late to do things. 

Anyway, rant over. I'm crashing because I work a 12 hour shift tomorrow. Happy New Year, everyone. 

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Posted

My friend I talked about before with the surgery? BIG Trigger Warning. 

Spoiler

This poor fucking guy. So, he got drunk went out driving to find smokes, went to three different gas stations and nothing's open. He gets pulled over by a cop but doesn't get a DUI. The cop points him in the direction of an open station. He goes there, leaves his Prius running and unlocked. Somebody steals the fucking car and runs it into a house down the road, totals it. The cops come and throw him in jail for drunk in public, because he had been driving. (I don't know what happened to the thief.) They throw him into a cell with no running water and won't give him any medication for his withdrawals. 

The fucking BRAIN SURGERY? He tells a friend about it and this guy says he has a moral obligation to tell the ex about it, who is trying to take away his kid entirely, and she files a third partition or whatever to the court. Because they never charged the cop, they won't release the medical records saying the cop did it, so in court he's gonna look like he made some crazy shit up and look worse than ever. He had $45,000 in the bank and now he's down to a grand. 

This guy is probably gonna kill himself, if the liquor doesn't. And he lives states away from me, so I can't even visit him. 

My fucking god. 

Oh, and I drank myself down to a little under a grand in my bank account. I had a line on a job working at a smoke shop and they made me take a PSYCHOLOGICAL EXAM online (which I passed, because it was basically a bunch of questions asking if you're a decent person, and I am). Then, because I was intentionally not checking my e-mail, I was two days late responding to the interview offer, and of course "the position got filled". I'm talking to a new therapist, but she just got certified after taking a four hour test? How was she even allowed to take care of me until then? How is our health care system allowed to be so inept? (I know the answer to that, of course.)

This is just a really hard fucking day. And I gotta talk to my job aid today too. Fuck. 

 

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Posted

My family's curse with someone getting sick over the Christmas holiday remains intact! This year it's the wife. It started Saturday and after a late night trip to the ER (because she insisted on waiting until after World's End, since I'd already ordered it). Short version: They drew blood and took a urine sample, gave her some IV fluids and then sent us on our way with a script for dizziness meds. After a few days and no change at all, we went back this morning. They took more blood and piss, which all looked normal and then ran a CAT scan which looked normal. The doctor noticed some reddness in one ear, so he took another look and then checked the other and said it was even more red. So, a middle ear infection seems to be the culprit. We got more scripts for the diziness stuff as well as a steroid and antibiotic and hopefully that does the trick. Otherwise it's off to the ETN.

 

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Posted

it's possible it took a little too long into my process to figure out that the reason why the text on my word document had weird spacing is because somewhere it switched from left-align to justified alignment, which meant at times I was rewording sentences to avoid a line looking too wonky

By too long, I mean, i'm at the 2015 All-Star Break in my 2010s Royals writing project. The one text that will gladly talk about how everybody was trying to rig the all-star voting in whatever direction they wanted

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Posted

I still have to use Notepad because they made Word part of Office and you have to pay for fucking Office! Just so I can write something down and save it for later. Jeeeez.

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Posted

Hi friends! Just checking in. Been a bit of a rough week in terms of weather and muscle cramps. Got about 10 inches of snow Sunday night into Monday and my poor sister had to go clear out all the snow. I'm physically incapable of shoveling snow otherwise I would've helped her. Luckily our neighbor came by with his snowblower and helped clear out the giant snowbank the city plow left behind. 

With the extreme cold, I started getting muscle cramps in my hip and leg nub. Tylenol and a heating pad was my friend on Tuesday when the cramps were really bad. I went out yesterday to Walgreens to get some Icy Hot for my nub and slipped going into the store. Who knew girls with crutches and one leg don't mix well with snow and ice? I was fine, just a little sore after the fall. Luckily I was buying Icy Hot anyway lol 🤣

Today, my nub is better, just a dull ache but more snow (around 4 inches) is coming tomorrow afternoon and evening. 

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Posted
6 hours ago, Lawful Metal said:

I am a single issue voter. This is my position. DO IT.

This would be wonderful if only to silence to goobers who are like "aw man that time change threw me off all week!"  Motherfucker it's plus or minus one hour.  Dudes out here acting like they just did some time travel.  Please fuck off with that shit thank you.

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Posted

As someone who spends several months after daylight savings ends in a black pit of lethargic despair? That would be pretty neat. 

Posted
4 hours ago, Technico Support said:

This would be wonderful if only to silence to goobers who are like "aw man that time change threw me off all week!"  Motherfucker it's plus or minus one hour.  Dudes out here acting like they just did some time travel.  Please fuck off with that shit thank you.

Maybe they're working that Hogan schedule,  brother. 

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Posted
8 hours ago, (BP) said:

As someone who spends several months after daylight savings ends in a black pit of lethargic despair? That would be pretty neat. 

here's the thing you don't get more daylight. This would just move it from the morning to the evening so the sun wouldn't rise till 8 or 9 am

Posted
6 hours ago, zendragon said:

here's the thing you don't get more daylight. This would just move it from the morning to the evening so the sun wouldn't rise till 8 or 9 am

For me personally it has more to do with already having major circadian rhythm disruption issues that are aggravated by the time changes. I’m sort of starting at a disadvantage before the light exposure is even a factor. That said, I do take vitamin D and I really should bite the bullet and buy a sun a lamp. 

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Posted

Just got a big kick in the gut. I'm going to just spoiler it because I really just need to tell it and get it off my chest so I donno. 

Spoiler

I got into trouble in early 2022 and after county jail and rehab I got out at the end of 2023. During that time my sister decided to cut off contact with me. I don't blame her. She's been my best friend for so long and I have been a pretty unreliable POS. I never gave a thought to how my actions were harming her because I was a straight addict. Obviously, now that I'm sober, I'm looking back on things I did (or more accurately, didn't do) and regret it. However, I'm respecting her wish to not be in contact with me. I don't want to try to force anything until she's ready to hear an apology. In all honesty, I don't have enough time doing well to even think about that. I need to get myself in a better place in life to show her that I'm serious about living better. That will have more impact than any apology can have.

I say this but I also occasionally google her just to see how she's doing. Today I saw her listed as a member of a band on Bandcamp and of course I got curious. I was ready to be a proud brother. And I am. It's experimental post-punkish stuff. I hear a little Jandek maybe? That makes me happy as fuck because I let her borrow my Jandek cds! But, lyrically, it hurt a lot. Hearing how badly I hurt her pretty much wrecked me. I deserve it but it's seriously put me in a bad spot right now. I'm not trying to get pity. I just needed a spot to put this down.  

 

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Posted

That's the way of it.  I've heard or dealt with a lot more family stuff of late than I would care to, and that's an understatement, but it's absolute gold for stories and comedy writing.  One good example: one family member, who was probably the first person I knew who had clinical depression and didn't deal/hasn't dealt with it, allegedly went to a therapist and the guy told her, "You are the most normal person who's come into my office; you don't need to be here."  Decent chance the entire story is a lie, but I think it's a much, much better chance that all *she* did was lie to his face about her life, he clocked it, and he told her that so she'd quit wasting his fucking time.  Exactly the kind of detail that makes a story crunchier.

Posted
2 hours ago, RazorbladeKiss87 said:

Just got a big kick in the gut. I'm going to just spoiler it because I really just need to tell it and get it off my chest so I donno. 

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I got into trouble in early 2022 and after county jail and rehab I got out at the end of 2023. During that time my sister decided to cut off contact with me. I don't blame her. She's been my best friend for so long and I have been a pretty unreliable POS. I never gave a thought to how my actions were harming her because I was a straight addict. Obviously, now that I'm sober, I'm looking back on things I did (or more accurately, didn't do) and regret it. However, I'm respecting her wish to not be in contact with me. I don't want to try to force anything until she's ready to hear an apology. In all honesty, I don't have enough time doing well to even think about that. I need to get myself in a better place in life to show her that I'm serious about living better. That will have more impact than any apology can have.

I say this but I also occasionally google her just to see how she's doing. Today I saw her listed as a member of a band on Bandcamp and of course I got curious. I was ready to be a proud brother. And I am. It's experimental post-punkish stuff. I hear a little Jandek maybe? That makes me happy as fuck because I let her borrow my Jandek cds! But, lyrically, it hurt a lot. Hearing how badly I hurt her pretty much wrecked me. I deserve it but it's seriously put me in a bad spot right now. I'm not trying to get pity. I just needed a spot to put this down.  

 

Sorry to hear that, bud.  But I’m glad you’re in a better place and you sound 2000% more insightful than most.  Understanding yourself is incredibly important.

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