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From my 1986 project:

# Gonna Need More HGH!

Just have Prince do every halftime show

They seriously will have zero idea what to do with Bayley if they call her up

At least you used the right verb in your backtracking.

I don't drive drunk. But I'm going to watch this clip of Helen Mirren berating me later when I'm alone for...other reasons...

# Held on one season too long!

Because that defense is ridiculous.

To steal a line from someone else, it was amusing that the guy accused of cheating got more boos from the crowd than the guy accused of murder..

The patented JB Madden Predictatron has run the numbers... For Super Bowl 48 it predicted a Seahawks blowout. For Super Bowl 49 it predicted a close Patriots victory~! For Super Bowl 50 it's going to be a comfortable, but not quite a full on blowout, Panthers victory according to the Predicatron . 36-18 Cam Newton SB MVP Big games for the family and Olsen. Stewart suspiciously quiet, but a few key short-yardage conversions. Manning throws more interceptions than TDs.

I feel like this deserves a thread of its own so these things don't get lost in the "legit" movie of the month threads. I originally was going to title this "B Movie TV Report" after my favorite Roku channel, but I think it's bigger than that and that's too limiting. Everyone post here whatever amazing B-D grade movies they've just discovered or revisited by whatever means, app, sleazy DVD company release, VHS found at a salvation army store happens to have GALAXINA on it after an episode of A.K.A. PABLO. It all counts: Zombies Zombis Blaxploitation 80s vigilante movies slashers cheap american karate movies where roller-slating, BMX biking, arm-wrestling, disco dancing, break-dancing, or water skiing are done competitively or as a biblical allegory Star Wars ripoff movies where everyone is obviously Italian anything with the word "reform school" in the title anything with the words "spring break" in the title anything that mixes "ski" "swim" "stewardess" "beach" or "up the" with the word "academy" The complete Bolo Yeung catalog and so so much more. Tonight's Report, courtesy of B-Movie TV (on Roku): TUFF TURF (1985): Quintessential 80s "small town kid moves to tough hip LA high school and battles with punks for a hot girl in a half ass-ed West Side Story ripoff." It was directed by the guy who directed CHILDREN OF THE CORN. I don't know why that matters but somehow it does. If nothing else he seems to have s strong unconscious belief that youth is a plague of cultish death and that the power and strength of the young is a grotesque masque of violence and a danger to us all. Basically remake the KARATE KID without karate but with more of a DEATH WISH 3 vibe. But this one is special. The main kid is a super young, super thin, super ripped, super coiffed James Spader. This was a year before PRETTY IN PINK, so adjust you Spader hotness expectations accordingly: The "he meets the first day who becomes his sidekcik/ally" is a super young, super thin, super coiffed Robert Downey Jr. This was months before he was even the bully in WERID SCIENCE so adjust your Downey Hotness expectations accordingly. The girl in question is a super young, super hot, super coiffed Kim ("Now she's a screeching hutt of a real housewife of Beverly Hills") Richards. This is a year after MEATBALLS PART 2, so adjust your Richards hotness expectations accordingly. Her hair is, of course, about seven feet long, and has a different pattern of braiding, headbands, and dayglo shading in every scene. Now, no one buys Kim Richards as a bad girl gang chick, but the whole point is that she is going to transform into a scared wounded butterfly and she's pretty perfect for that. Like her hair gets progressively less braided as she gets progressively more wholesome. Hair allegory! Hairllegory! Also one of the other gang chicks was Leila in REPO MAN and that's royalty. To get yourself in the right mood for this movie, listen to this: The hair, the clothes, the music are all amazing. Spader has an older brother who is an evil preppy and who is literally wearing an izod shirt with a sweater tied around his neck. It's like a wax museum reproduction of the essence of the 80s. For me the best scenes are the random interstitial scenes of crowds of teens wandering around a school or club. The sheer weight of 1985 chic is overwhelming. Like many 80s movies, this is basically a musical. The soundtrack is constant and as often as possible is supplied diegetically with a band playing or someone listening to a boombox. there are at least six scenes that have no dialog, just teenagers congregating and dancing, and yet somehow the plot is moved forward by all of these scenes. It's amazing...the power of dance. Oh, God, the closing credits unfold over another dance scene! This one celebrating the death of a 17 year old thug! It's like the end of RETURN OF THE JEDI. As such there are at least 16 people in the credits just as members of various bands and about 35 listed just as "dancer." There is literally a dance number in this as Robert Downey Jr.s band plays in a typical "empty warehouse that is somehow also a teen club" and Spader seduces Richards. As I write this, Kim Richards is doing a full flashdance number in a bar. it is amazing, and the asshole who labelled this the 'worst 80s dance sequence ever" can go fuck himself, but I'm linking to him anyways because you probably need to see this: That dance scene leads right into another dance where they make out and then another one where they are running from the gang guys. THIS MOVIE IS 90% DANCING BEACAUSE LIFE IN THE 80S WAS LIVED THROUGH SYMBOLIC MOVEMENT!!! Once that is set in motion, it's a lot of Spader/Richards/Downey trolling yuppies while avoiding her former street gang members out to get her back. At one point Spader hijacks a country club piano and sings a song to Richards...did you not see what I just wrote JAMES SPADER SITS DOWN AT A PIANO AND FOR A FULL 5 MINUTES WE LISTEN TO HIM SERENADE KIM RICHARDS!!! Just know this: In his 25th year, James Spader, pretending to be a high schooler, spent some hours learning and rehearsing this in his apartment in L.A. singing this. And then spent a whole day in a recording studio pouring his heart into this. And then spent a few weeks rehearsing how to look like he's playing the piano while lip synching to himself. THIS IS THE LIFE OF AN ARTIST!!! THIS IS WHAT THE CRAFT IS ABOUT!! Obviously this is all going to get very violent in Act III when the punks and then and we go into full-on 80s vigilante movie territory....and a scene where Spader is brutally "Private Pyle-ed" in a locker room is pretty intense and would probably have scared 12 year old me into asking my parents if I could go to a private school...but I don't know how that matters after what you just saw/heard. Just know that you need to find and watch this movie. This is also in there: So soundtrack is LEGIT, MAN!!!

Super Bowl 50 = golden anniversary of the big game. Gold for everyone! 49th anniversary. Don't use WWE maths! They just don't want to call it Super Bowl L. Although, will next year be Super Bowl LI, or are they going with non-roman numerals from here on out? From that point on they should cycle through the names of Bruce Lee impersonators. So Superbowl LI wold be followed by Superbowel LE and the Superbowl LAI, and then Superbowl LEE BRUCE.

Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor won the night for me.

At this point somebody should get one of the recess monitors tell them that Cam is getting bullied real bad and maybe we should switch to kickball for the rest of the semester.

Oh God I envy this so much. I can remember a time where, after the Superbowl, the next thing I would see about football is an article in the Globe Democrat telling my what loser the St. Louis Cardinals picked first in the draft. Then I would hear nothing until the first preseason game popped up on local t.v.

This shit is like, FUCK CAM NEWTON...

It was a messenger for his wife! That's private information!

Nice that they are booking the halftime show the same that Triple H vs Sting was booked in the same place last year Time for the more entertaining runins

None of you care about this anyway so might as well put the next part out during the Super Bowl 2015 PART THREE (July - Sept)

Mountain Dew says "Challenge Accepted."

Completely is the word you're looking for.

Commercial Break Seven: "Friendship isn't about trust. Friendship is about nunchucks." - Carl, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. And apparently about bows, too. The Highlander walks away until some really fucking creepy ice creatures sabotage him. It's a clear ripoff of the Tusken Raiders from Star Wars but whatever, too late to hate on any ripping at this point. Commercial Break Eight: Elias remembers some appropriately timed Wisdom from The Elders/His Dad as he's paddling down a sea or something, and Mr. Highlander is crucified X-style (like on the cover of the Morbid Angel demo) then all of the sudden Elias is shooting magic laser bolts from his bow. A TEAM OF DOLPHINS FUCKING SAVES HIGHLANDER FROM DROWNING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LAKE. YES. THAT HAPPENS. I absolutely cannot believe what I'm watching. Commercial Break Nine: A lot -- and I mean a LOT -- of dimness. And fake bats. Final Commercial Break: Damn, Golden Mask has a full-on '70s bush. This movie is just... woof. I haven't the slightest. Watch it, if you have the inclination. And have some drinks (or some smokes) while you're at it.

I'm playing a RNG based extremely difficult game of my own in Darkest Dungeon and it's awesome.

I wonder if it could have something to do with his finisher being a double stomp from the top rope where he awkwardly rolls his ankles on the landing every time.

My partner was asking me who I was rooting for in the big game, and I said I'm torn, because I want to see Cam win because it will bother dumb racists, but I also have been annoyed by Vincey Greene's football ego all year. I was told that racists feeling bad is a better reason for rooting interest than being internet mad, so GO PANTHERS.

I think being the father of one of wrestling's premier families should entitle him to a spot. Though some might use his infidelity against him.

So, have you Americans now got to look forward to nine months of "Cam Newton is just a front-runner, he can't win from behind" talking points? Because in England, the next thing we hear about this sport is going to be the opening day of the 2016-17 season.

So they'll call a flag on that. . . .

I think we can all agree this is the winning SB commercial this year:

Nice of the Browns to get their own halftime commercial celebrating the career of Johnny Manziel

Emmanuel Lewis could beat up Bruno Mars.

At this point I think the best we can hope for is a cameo by left shark.

Of course in a half where nobody can hold on to the ball the fat guy makes a great catch for the INT

And Doritos takes the lead for the best and most fucked up commercial of the Super Bowl

I thought I was the only one. I don't think I can deal with a full offseason of Vinceys posts if the panthers win. Eh. I honestly don't think much about football during the off season, plus it's a lot more fun to be an obnoxious fan of an upstart than an obnoxious fan of the champs. What am I, a Pats guy?

NHL 16 is definitely worth $20. They put all the stuff they removed from 15 back in.

It's a hell of a litmus test. I mean, really, if we ever wanted to be sure if an out-of-our-league girl could possibly be into us, it's the perfect trap to lure her to a movie about the ugliest, nerdiest guy in the world who has a lot of disgusting habits and super-disturbing fetishes and always says all the wrong things (yet still sometimes scores way-out-of-his-league women). If she winds up being super into it, then I'd say that you've got a golden ticket.

I love True Lies, but that is a genuinely crazy opinion.

Can't wait to read Peter King sanctimonious defense of this shit. Ken Stabler is only now good enough after he's dead? Letting Debartlo in renders ANY character argument, EVER irrelevant, given that the man had he franchise taken away. . . .

Fuck Tony Dungy.

It's soooo fucking frustrating watch Monday Night Wars and WWE harping on WCW burying the mid card and not making new main event stars...EXACTLY what they are doing today. Fuck.

CHAOS! =(

Is "apartment wrestling" like that video of when Jushin Liger and a bunch of NJPW guys beat up a house?

I'm still trying to figure out why a time traveler assembled his team by visiting two different cities in the same year. Especially since you could probably pluck superior versions of the same characters from other time periods (Black Canary before the Lazarus Put messed with her, a more experienced Firestorm, Hawks that weren't completely clueless). Rip Hunter, laziest time lord master around.

You know what you look like to me, Vince, with your good roids and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, "Mr." McMahon? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure Nawth Calaina. What is your father, dear? Is he a carnival barker? Does he stink of Pancake? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the NWA.

Too be fair - there a couple other people who carry on about it too (Bix being a big one) but yeah it really flared up because of LU Bix is a joke. He has a problem with a worked match between men and women (all parties agreeing to the match), but he has no issue not outing the known racists within the business who are actively working from within to keep racist gimmicks alive and well in the 21st century? The guys morals are really off. Fantasy gets a long easy, but reality gets swept under the rug? The guy is full of shit. What's this part about? Bix released something from the WCW lawsuits a while ago and he purposefully excluded the name(s?) of the people being accused of racism as that person(s?) may or may not worked for the WWE at the time of Bix's posting. Instead of being a good journalist and doing the right thing to let people know who is who and what is what, he decided to protect these people. Racism is real and actually impacts the bottom line in a company. Look how Muslims have been portrayed in WWE and there has been no black WWE champion (the WCW world title doesn't count as it was considered secondary for the 'B' brand for some time for what reason? What about the rampant sexism in WWE? There are so many issues within pro wrestling that people like the ones listed in the lawsuit should be named so the company can perhaps be forced to knowledge and change instead of keeping 'the good ole boys' club together and thriving for more generations to come. Bix is a coward plain and simple and its not just him. I don't respect any journalist that does that, who has zero spine and is all about protecting people who are doing wrong. Instead of being a force for change, he is now a silent collaborator, and silent collaborators usually agree with the stuff they turn their heads from. Re: Bryan WWE can easily make him a commentator for NXT. He will get to call matches featuring Joe, Balor, Zayn, Crews, and tons of other guys he worked with and plus the crowd will not 'high-jack' the show. If WWE puts him as any featured ringside guest/commentator for the main show and its going to be 'Daniel Bryan' chants all night. WWE would have to edit the auto of every Roman Reigns match.

William Regal's great facial expressions/body language/comedic timing:

Jacques Rougeau was awesome. He deserves HoF recognition based on three, heavy credentials: - He sang leads vocals on three of the greatest theme songs. - He decimated and defeated Dynamite Kid. - He pinned Hogan, clean. What more could you ask for?

LOL @ this Newton argument. The last thing uptight white folk like to see is a dominant black player enjoying his dominance. He should be stoic and maybe even thankful to the league owners for their graciousness in allowing him to ply his trade, right? What's with this "he should be like Jim Brown or Barry Sanders?" Picking two black dudes who "knew how to act?" That's offensive. Don't want a dude to laugh and dance? Play better defense. White QBs celebrate all the damn time. When Newton does it he's "uppity," I guess. This is the same shit we saw with Griffin and Kaepernick. White QB arrogance is reimagined as confidence and leadership while arrogant black QBs are just considered "thugs" who don't "play the game the right way." Wilson is the exception to the rule because he's a bible-thumper and doesn't make a show of himself. This is why I want to see Carolina win. Bullshit like this. EDIT: not meant as an attack on sabremike. I want to give you the benefit of a doubt and assume that's not what you mean. I've just been hearing shit like this all season and it's a disgusting double standard.