SDL - 7/26/2016

[Dolfan in NYC]

I'm sorry, there must be some mistake.

Surely Dolph Ziggler didn't just win a big match AND become the #1 Contender?   

Well, I'll be damned.  (Also, I'm 90% sure they went home about 3 minutes early.)

[piranesi]

Heath Slater doesn't know what a résumé is.

Like, not just a little not know.  But he completely has a different thing in his head when he hears the word than what it is. 

[steve]

So, they pretty clearly moved Vince over to SD, right?

They gave him Cena, Orton, and JBL to soften the blow.

"Everything's gonna be alright, pops."

[SirSmUgly]

Well, in going through all the less-than-optimal choices for Ambrose's opponent at SummerSlam, we discussed THE DEMON Kane, Baron Corbin, and Bray Wyatt, but as it turns out, the company decided on a dude who is proving ten years later that the proposed HBCade gimmick would have been fucking awful, so...never assume that the company can't find a worse choice, I guess. 

[Raziel]

It's an era of change.

 

They changed SmackDown into a generic RAW.

[The Man Known as Dan]

Welp. Smackdown sucks.

Show consists of 4 matches. A Battle Royal with nobody over in it, a rematch with someone getting there win back, Orton/Miz, in which Orton might have rehurt himself, and a 6 way random bullshit match with fucking Dolph of all people winning.

 

Most important question of the night: How in the FUCK do you not debut American Alpha tonight. I literally tuned in for that.

[Raziel]

So, we can save this by Shelton being the first wave of a Suzuki-gun Invasion, right?

 

Because I could go for some MiSu kicking Bray in his head when he tries his spiderwalk on him.

[piranesi]

Just now, Raziel403 said:

It's an era of change.

 

 

Yes.  Change.  First night back with Orton and we get "you jack off" and "your wife probably fucks you in the ass."

Goddamn fuck Randy Orton in the ass with a strap on while he's jacking off.

Which, so Orton's big dig at The Miz was that he masturbates a lot...a line delivered while standing right in front of The Miz's unbelievably hot wife who is basically half swallowing his face through most of their appearances.  So I guess he just made a smart adjustment going with strap-on for the second pass.

 

GOOD JUB RANDY FUCKING ORTON!!!

[hammerva]

4 minutes ago, piranesi said:

Heath Slater doesn't know what a résumé is.

Like, not just a little not know.  But he completely has a different thing in his head when he hears the word than what it is. 

Well to be fair when someone tells you to "sign your resume" you would be confused as hell too. 

This really does show how thin the roster is.  Bring in Benjamin and Rhyno helps a little but not too much.  

We had a 6 man match where most of the match involved Baron Corbin, Apollo Crews, and insert 3rd person here.  Hell except for the entrances and finish you wouldn't have known Styles and Cena were in the match

 

[Matt D]

Finn and Dolph. Ew. 

[The Man Known as Dan]

So, the main highlight of the night was Eva Maries theme music, correct?

[SirSmUgly]

Part of the problem with Smackdown is that it has too many guys who really should just go away for a long time. Longer than nine months. Orton, Bray, Kane, Miz...I think everyone who praises Miz makes sense in terms of how good he is in his role, but man, he's just so stale even considering that. 

[steve]

BY FAR.

[JCM]

They went from a political hit on Reigns to a political hit on Smackdown. Crap show, crap main event, no Alpha, and Dolph fucking Ziggler is the #1 contender. Highlights of the show were Eva and Slater.

If the new era wasn't new enough for you here comes Rhyno and Shelton Benjamin. yuck

[Charlie M.]

This whole thing feels like a rib on Shane.

[offspring515]

1 minute ago, hammerva said:

Well to be fair when someone tells you to "sign your resume" you would be confused as hell too. 

This really does show how thin the roster is.  Bring in Benjamin and Rhyno helps a little but not too much.  

He didn't though he said send your resume.  Which would be odd for a wrestler but whatever.  Slater was great.

 

Show was so bad.  No tag or women's titles? So roughly half the roster is wrestling for no reason.  This fucking company.

[Brian Fowler]

Holy fuck, they are trying to get this show cancelled, aren't they?

[Iron Moose]

Bringing back Shelton brings us 3/4 of the way to American Alpha/WGTT.

[piranesi]

SUMMER OF DOLPH!!!!!

 

 

Yes.  The two in that picture who have survived are Dolph Ziggler and Kane.

[J.T.]

Fuck Randy Orton.

[The Man Known as Dan]

So, Dean vs. Dolph. Does that even get viewed as a top 5 match for Summerslam?

Also, man, any of the talent that might have bitched about not going to Smackdown is probably looking around and apologizing profusely. 

[blitzkrieg]

Is it wrong of me to think that was one of those times when John Cena actually should have gone over? 

[Charlie M.]

You know what's weird? Dolph is only 1 year older than RAW's hot young superstar Finn Balor.

 

[The Man Known as Dan]

Even if you were right (I thought AJ should have gone over and they should have revisted AJ/Cena in a couple months after both failed to take the belt of Dean), they still completely showed he was better then the others by AAing fucking everyone and there mother.

[Sammo~!]

Cena vs AJ is a more high profile match for Summerslam than either of them facing Dean at this point. Have Dean eat a few jobbers' lunches and he goes on to face one or the other at Backlash or Survivor Series. At least we don't have to ask whether the Raw or Smackdown title match is the main event here.