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SDL - 7/26/2016


Dolfan in NYC
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Well, in going through all the less-than-optimal choices for Ambrose's opponent at SummerSlam, we discussed THE DEMON Kane, Baron Corbin, and Bray Wyatt, but as it turns out, the company decided on a dude who is proving ten years later that the proposed HBCade gimmick would have been fucking awful, so...never assume that the company can't find a worse choice, I guess. 

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Welp. Smackdown sucks.

Show consists of 4 matches. A Battle Royal with nobody over in it, a rematch with someone getting there win back, Orton/Miz, in which Orton might have rehurt himself, and a 6 way random bullshit match with fucking Dolph of all people winning.

 

Most important question of the night: How in the FUCK do you not debut American Alpha tonight. I literally tuned in for that.

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So, we can save this by Shelton being the first wave of a Suzuki-gun Invasion, right?

 

Because I could go for some MiSu kicking Bray in his head when he tries his spiderwalk on him.

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Just now, Raziel403 said:

It's an era of change.

 

 

Yes.  Change.  First night back with Orton and we get "you jack off" and "your wife probably fucks you in the ass."

Goddamn fuck Randy Orton in the ass with a strap on while he's jacking off.

Which, so Orton's big dig at The Miz was that he masturbates a lot...a line delivered while standing right in front of The Miz's unbelievably hot wife who is basically half swallowing his face through most of their appearances.  So I guess he just made a smart adjustment going with strap-on for the second pass.

 

GOOD JUB RANDY FUCKING ORTON!!!

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4 minutes ago, piranesi said:

Heath Slater doesn't know what a résumé is.

Like, not just a little not know.  But he completely has a different thing in his head when he hears the word than what it is. 

Well to be fair when someone tells you to "sign your resume" you would be confused as hell too. 

This really does show how thin the roster is.  Bring in Benjamin and Rhyno helps a little but not too much.  

We had a 6 man match where most of the match involved Baron Corbin, Apollo Crews, and insert 3rd person here.  Hell except for the entrances and finish you wouldn't have known Styles and Cena were in the match

 

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Part of the problem with Smackdown is that it has too many guys who really should just go away for a long time. Longer than nine months. Orton, Bray, Kane, Miz...I think everyone who praises Miz makes sense in terms of how good he is in his role, but man, he's just so stale even considering that. 

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They went from a political hit on Reigns to a political hit on Smackdown. Crap show, crap main event, no Alpha, and Dolph fucking Ziggler is the #1 contender. Highlights of the show were Eva and Slater.

If the new era wasn't new enough for you here comes Rhyno and Shelton Benjamin. yuck

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1 minute ago, hammerva said:

Well to be fair when someone tells you to "sign your resume" you would be confused as hell too. 

This really does show how thin the roster is.  Bring in Benjamin and Rhyno helps a little but not too much.  

He didn't though he said send your resume.  Which would be odd for a wrestler but whatever.  Slater was great.

 

Show was so bad.  No tag or women's titles? So roughly half the roster is wrestling for no reason.  This fucking company.

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Cena vs AJ is a more high profile match for Summerslam than either of them facing Dean at this point. Have Dean eat a few jobbers' lunches and he goes on to face one or the other at Backlash or Survivor Series. At least we don't have to ask whether the Raw or Smackdown title match is the main event here.

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