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The Natural

RAW 03/30/15

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I was listening to Daniel Bryan on Jericho's podcast talking about how his goal now is to start working with talent that needs a boost, he wants to work with guys who he can "make" so that he can have fresh match-ups and help create new stars.

 

So of course he gets stuck with Sheamus for the fourth or fifth time instead.

 

First RAW I've watched in months and really enjoyed it.  Bringing in the NXT guys for the smart crowd was a great move.

 

But man, that last half hour can go to hell though.  We're really about to get at least another four-five months of Big Show and Kane in the main events, aren't we?

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Not seeing any of it of course, just hearing/reading second hand accounts the post-show Sting segment is confirmation of every fear of what WWE would do if/when they finally got Sting, and why so many people were glad he, at least, was one guy who never took their money and that they couldn't have.

 

I can't help but imagine everything bad about The Invasion, with a side of Polka Dot Dusty Rhodes (and maybe "King" Harley Race being called a youngster) for good measure. 

 

And maybe it's just worse in my imagination than it is in reality but I'm glad it wasn't on RAW.

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That announce table weighs infinity pounds.  It crushed two men.  The one man who could tip it back in place was thrown out of the building.  So it remained tipped over.  I assume they'll have to get a crane in there to move it out of the building.  Or it might just be a permanent fixture in that arena from now on. 

 

How awkward did Lawler and Saxton have to feel just standing behind a table tipped at 45 degrees? 

 

Leave it as it is as a memorial to the lost souls of the Ides of Brocktober.

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That announce table weighs infinity pounds.  It crushed two men.  The one man who could tip it back in place was thrown out of the building.  So it remained tipped over.  I assume they'll have to get a crane in there to move it out of the building.  Or it might just be a permanent fixture in that arena from now on. 

 

How awkward did Lawler and Saxton have to feel just standing behind a table tipped at 45 degrees? 

Awkward nothing, Lawler's 70 and wrestled almost all his life, and you're going to put his hips knees and ankles through all that standing up?

 

Not an "lol old man" joke, I stand for several hours at a time at work and my joints hurt afterwards.

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I am not sure who was the MVP of Team Ass tonight? Natalie or Nikki? Both made sure to do enough completely unnecessary ass shaking (no complaining) while waiting to be tagged in. Overall good performance from the ladies and its pretty obvious that everyone in the ring gave a shit and no one was phoning it in.

 

The Lesnar segment lacked urgency. From the camera man not moving once being tossed in the ring to Booker T and JBL being taken completely out by an overturned table. There were elements that needed more detail in order to bring it to the next level and make things more exciting and dramatic. Why did only two medics come out? Why were there no agents flooding the ring to stop Brock? A police escort out of the build would have been a nice touch. Byron coming in using the 'Owen Voice' while doing the corporate commentary schtick until The King came out was just beyond lame. King wasn't his normal annoying self, but fuck! Also- why did no one return the table back to normal? Two grown men calling the action all night couldn't take time during the commercial break to flip the table back over so they could sit down?

 

Oh and Lesnar was suspended indefinitely...I guess he will be on Raw in about 2 weeks. Being suspended or fired in WWE doesn't mean anything.

 

Adrian Neville is now just 'Neville' and dresses like a gay wizard coming to the ring. Let's see how this goes...Good performance from both him and Axel. Axel made Neville look like a million bucks with that crisp and clean selling.

 

I like Ambrose, but him returning tonight was no bueno. Ambrose should have been kept off TV for at least a month while WWE plays up the fact that Ambrose prevented Seth from cashing in before and if he had been around post IC ladder match, Seth might not be champion. Play that up for a month and then have Ambrose return, stalk Seth, and claim that he will be the thorn in Seth's ass during Seth's entire championship run. That would mean Reigns, Lesnar, Orton, and Ambrose will all be in the title picture and a nice build to a Shield 3 way for the title (Rollins ducking and escaping both until the inevitable match is made).

 

"You look stupid!" chants were familiar and I began to think of the last wrestler who received those chants. It was Kazarian in TNA after he cut his hair and donated it to one of those Cancer Locks For Love or something. And of course the Sting announcement was a waste of time. Nothing special there. Nothing at all. Sting is running the same 'I don't know' gimmick he ran in TNA EVERY YEAR. Every year in TNA Sting was going to retire and quit. Now they are running the same angle in WWE? Where Sting JUST DOESN'T KNOW? At least Bo Dallas got some Network (?) time.

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Guys, where is Brock Lesnar right now?  Think about that!

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What the hell was Sheamus's new look?

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I like the mohawk, but the braided beard is fucking ridiculous, even by wrestling standards.

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Was anyone terrified of the sitting piledriver thing Bryan took?  Is he like taunting us with his impending crippledome?

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Nikki physically is the perfect diva IMO

And if Barrett teaming up with Sheamus doesn't lead to a face turn for Barrett, I will be devastated. Like legit, but not kill threaten to cancel my WWE network subscription and pussy out on doing so.

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Captain Lou Albino.

 

As soon as my daily allotment of likes regenerates I'm coming back and liking this.

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As I said on Twitter.  They needed a Raymond Burr opening voice over from Godzilla of the carnage of Brockzilla rampaging through San Jose.

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Do you want to learn more about Michael Cole's demise due to sudden atmospheric drop because his eyeballs were popped out of his head by a human bulldozer?

 

Please press F5 on your keyboard for the most up-to-date information.

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Brock selling that enzuigiri from Rollins as if a bird just shit on him and he now intended to pluck it from the sky and bite its head off was pretty great...

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Apparently the $9.99 Flag at WWE Headquarters is currently at half mass in honor of Cole.

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Apparently the $9.99 Flag at WWE Headquarters is currently at half mass in honor of Cole.

 

It's $4.99 tonight, brother.

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What the hell was Sheamus's new look?

 

Basically?  Your sig file.

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Be okay with Brock appearing every few weeks just to attack the announcers. At the booth. In the back. At the rental agency

 

Just when they've rebuilt their lives and feel safe again .... KABLAMMO. BROCKED....

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The absolute best thing was Miz going out and doing a beatdown immediately after Brock.  Like a kid re-enacting the show in his living room.

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What the hell was Sheamus's new look?

 

He was going for a fuschia mohawk cause he heard thats what HHH's pals wear...

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Robert Durst is jealous of how many people Brock is killing.

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What the hell was Sheamus's new look?

He was going for a fuschia mohawk cause he heard thats what HHH's pals wear...

Someone in the back set Sheamus' head on fire, then pushed him out there.

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