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Cristobal

By Cristobal
in LAND OF CONFUSION

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John E. Dynamite

John E. Dynamite

Posted
Posted

It's good to see you talk about all this stuff, Curt, cause no small part of it is dead-on where I'm at right now. Guilt, bad psychiatrists, nasal drip nonsense...

I put every aspect of my personal and professional life in the same place. I'm the center and I'm not holding. I let an addiction that I've romanticized (shit, professionalized) and a deeply negative personality define my entire adult life and I've been sitting around clueless how to act on it because all of my emotional resources either drifted away or up-and-left. And this withdrawal stuff is stupid - I don't know how to articulate the physical aspect of it properly. Psychologically is probably worse. Sober, I just stare at walls. Maybe doomscroll. With my baseline of 10 standard drinks then every game on my shelf becomes fun, every longform internet video is insightful, food tastes good, I can text people, at least. I can't regularly watch pro wrestling sober. It's why I dropped the poll I tried to keep running after DEAN passed. I'd skim IMPACT and NJPW on the DVR, indies and lucha on YouTube, figure out which AEW matches I could barely remember, and sort em all up while getting loaded every time. I stopped doing that months ago as an attempt to tone it down but it wasn't enough.

To make a long story short last month I ran the biggest bender of my life and blew well past a fifth-a-day, every day for over two weeks. Called out of work. No outside contact. Some people just live like that, and there is no way I want to be that kind of person. But that's where it's been going for over half my life (and I am not that old) so I guess I'll do something about it. A much better set of professionals are in front of me then whatever the fuck I was grasping at over the summer. I have purpose and a plan. But I don't really know how I'm supposed to deal with the boredom, loneliness and anxiety. And the guilt/shame/loathing? I don't have any idea how to overcome it. But we move forward regardless.

 

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Curt McGirt

Curt McGirt

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, John E. Dynamite said:

With my baseline of 10 standard drinks then every game on my shelf becomes fun, every longform internet video is insightful, food tastes good, I can text people, at least.

Oh god, don't get me started. I'll buy records, let them sit there for days, play them once, and shuffle them back into the stacks. But the only time I'll listen to them is drunk. I just got four tapes in the mail (shout out to Headsplit Records) listened to two of them once, and the other two are just sitting there. I went to the library, got three books, already returned one because I just couldn't read about Duterte's murder spree in the Phillipines (I picked it up because the sleeve basically said it would disturb anybody, and I took that as a challenge. It won. Seriously, it opened with detailing the murder of this kid's parents and then just had a huge list of dead people), and used the drives as an excuse to get booze. Other two books haven't been touched. 

Today was rough but I didn't out myself by throwing up a half dozen times, and managed to at least eat. 

EDIT: Also, thank you very much Brynn! You're great.

Edited by Curt McGirt
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onelegbrynn

onelegbrynn

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Posted

Y'all I woke up this morning feeling ugh and got sicker as the day went on. I was coughing and my throat was really sore. I figured it was just a bad cold. My roommate/girlfriend insisted on taking me to urgent care today so I gave in. Good thing I went because I've got strep throat! UGH!! Luckily they prescribed me some antibiotics and just told me to stay home for a few days. Good thing is tomorrow is Friday so I can just chill out and watch wrestling all weekend!

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The Natural

The Natural

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Posted (edited)

Keep between here as ever please. Today is my Mum's birthday, a trigger event with my mental health issues. I go to my Mum's grave as usual to find people have driven on my Mum. Fucking tire tracks on my Mum. I'm so angry and so upset. Made a mess of my arm as a result. How can people be so fucking thoughtless? Fucking fuming.

Edited by The Natural
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Log

Log

Posted
Posted

Fuck, that's disrespectful. Like Niko said, you may want to see if there's someone you can contact at the cemetery. They may want to get police involved if there was any other damage.

Unfortunately, vandalism at cemetery's is far too common from what I've seen. In my news days, I did quite a few stories on incidents around here. Some were stuff like tire tracks or knocked-over tombstones, but it also went all the way to racist graffiti.

It's sad, and I'm especially sorry it happened to you @The Natural. I hope that, even if they can't find who did it, they can get it cleaned up.

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The Natural

The Natural

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Posted
40 minutes ago, NikoBaltimore said:

Holy shit that's really awful.  I don't know if they have anybody at the cemetery to talk to about the tracks but but hopefully that never happens again.

 

30 minutes ago, Log said:

Fuck, that's disrespectful. Like Niko said, you may want to see if there's someone you can contact at the cemetery. They may want to get police involved if there was any other damage.

Unfortunately, vandalism at cemetery's is far too common from what I've seen. In my news days, I did quite a few stories on incidents around here. Some were stuff like tire tracks or knocked-over tombstones, but it also went all the way to racist graffiti.

It's sad, and I'm especially sorry it happened to you @The Natural. I hope that, even if they can't find who did it, they can get it cleaned up.

Thank you both. Appreciate it. I'll get in touch with the cemetry/council on Monday.

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Doc Townsend

Doc Townsend

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Posted
4 hours ago, The Natural said:

Keep between here as ever please. Today is my Mum's birthday, a trigger event with my mental health issues. I go to my Mum's grave as usual to find people have driven on my Mum. Fucking tire tracks on my Mum. I'm so angry and so upset. Made a mess of my arm as a result. How can people be so fucking thoughtless? Fucking fuming.

My advice would be to look into it and determine if it is actual vandalism or messy maintenance. At the cemetery my parents are buried in, cemetery workers have to drive over the graves every so often.  It’s  not really possible to get machinery in to every area to fill in fresh graves or mow and expect them to drive around every single headstone.  I’d prefer if there weren’t tire tracks across the marker when we get there, but that’s happened a few times.  I’ve talked to the cemetery about it and feel like they’re being as careful as they can.  They normally go back and clean up if they drive on a marker. As long as they don’t damage the marker, I can live with it. Occasionally, I do a little cleanup but it’s not an issue for me.  Things happen.  

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie

Posted
Posted (edited)

I've been sick since last Wednesday. It started as a cold and turned into a sinus infection. I've been to the doctor twice because I didn't get antibiotics the first time. I haven't been to work since last Wednesday. Hopefully, I'll be able to go back tomorrow night. My recovery group is having their Christmas party tonight and I'd really like to go because it's an excuse to break out my Bullet Club Christmas sweatshirt. 

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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Technico Support

Technico Support

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

It started as a cold and turned into a sinus infection. I've been to the doctor twice because I didn't get antibiotics the first time.

AW MAN I hate that shit.  Waste a copay, your time, and a few days you could have been taking meds on "it's just a cold," then go back and they're like "whoops!"

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Technico Support

Technico Support

Posted
Posted

Random bitching, but the newest work acronym I hate is "POC."  Mainly because I have to stop myself and really think about whether they mean:

  • Point of contact
  • Proof of concept
  • Person of color

I just keep hoping the rep from a company trying to demonstrate a product happens to be a black dude, for instance, so the POC for my POC is a POC.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie

Posted
Posted
43 minutes ago, Technico Support said:

Random bitching, but the newest work acronym I hate is "POC."  Mainly because I have to stop myself and really think about whether they mean:

  • Point of contact
  • Proof of concept
  • Person of color

I just keep hoping the rep from a company trying to demonstrate a product happens to be a black dude, for instance, so the POC for my POC is a POC.

Maybe it's because I feel groggy from the meds, but I kept reading POC as PCO, and automatically thinking of the undead Quebecer. 

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Contentious C

Contentious C

Posted
Posted

A holiday PSA for everyone:
 

TURN YOUR FUCKING HEADLIGHTS ON WHEN YOU DRIVE AT NIGHT.  YOUR DAYTIME RUNNING LAMPS ARE NOT SUFFICIENT.  The hint in the term is "DAYTIME".

Your headlights don't just turn on front lights, they turn on ones in the back.  And, much like driving in the rain, you don't just turn your lights on so you can see; you turn them on so OTHER PEOPLE SEE YOU.

Thanos was right, and I know who I'd snap.

Bah fucking humbug.

 

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Curt McGirt

Curt McGirt

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My buddy was driving us back from Indiana last October when I had my fall, and he asked right as we got off the giant circle around Indy onto the main highway back, "Are our lights on?" And no, we were just driving with the running lamps on accident because there was so much outside light around us. Jesus wept...

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Mike Campbell

Mike Campbell

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I had to drive to work in some of the thickest fog I'd ever seen about a month ago. You literally couldn't see more than three feet in front of you. The only time that I wasn't nervous or afraid was when I'd see some sort of taillight or traffic light up ahead, because I knew that I wasn't going to run into anything.

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driver

driver

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Posted

At the end of a hectic year I find myself being glad that it's almost over. Between health scares with both parents and the ensuing recertification hoops to jump through with my dad it made for a fertile backdrop of alcoholism and snarkiness that almost cost me my job. 

 

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