piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Sending the Divas out there to cut there promos with Miz is like sending Bernie Sanders to cut a promo give a speech at Liberty University. The best you can hope for is everyone getting out of the room without any career-ending footage. Would they look stronger if they did their promos separate, old-school "I'm a gonna getcha" style into the camera instead of screeching and Z snapping at eachother for...what...it seemed like about two hours? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm currently out of weed - maybe I can borrow some from you guys that actually enjoyed the HR segments? "What's in the box. KANE What's...what's in the BOX???" was pretty good. So far I'm wishing they had pushed it further. Last week he had the mug. This week he should have had a whole sash with WWE flair on it and maybe a segue with a standing desk attached. IT"S CALLED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm currently out of weed - maybe I can borrow some from you guys that actually enjoyed the HR segments? Never touch the stuff myself. It's clearly rotted your taste. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nice Guy Eddie Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 John Cena is coming off like the mean angry white land-developer who wants those meddling ethnic breakdancers at the community center to start learning how to follow the GODDAMN RULES OF PROPER SOCIETY ALREADY!!!!Cena is Peter MacLean in Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo. I had to look this up. I will admit to having watched Breakin' 2 once for the unintentionl comedic value, but I didn't know the angry, white land developers name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Baz Lurhman squash matches would be so much better if they showed him greasing himself down like Dan Dority in Deadwood. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 How can there be a system been in place by which anyone in the WWE including on the roster can file an anonymous complaint about creepy behavior leading to a public evaluation and somehow every RAW doesn't include three or four such hearings for Dean Ambrose? Something about this seems almost made up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm currently out of weed - maybe I can borrow some from you guys that actually enjoyed the HR segments? Never touch the stuff myself. It's clearly rotted your taste. I'm very sorry I didn't enjoy an embarrassingly cheesy segment like you did. When that fog machine hit inside of that ambulance and a few seconds later a fully in-costume Kane popped out - that was a pretty awesome visual, man. And when Kane just stomped his foot on the concrete ground, and the WWE Special Effects Department got their first paycheck of the year outside of the WWE Studios division, with the stupid "crunching" sound. Ohhh yeah, and the gift bit - it's funny that the only slightly comedic part of the entire thing came from Rollins, though, when they recreated the box scene from Seven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sydneybrown Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 At some point Xavier will blow Powder out of that Trombone and it will be glorious! Well, with the way this booking is going.... would fit right in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I am fully on board with the idea that HR-Kane is completely unaware that he is wearing wrestling gear under his suit, or that he is carrying three packets of "instant fog powder" in his stomach at all times and has no memory of 1) blacking out 2) vomiting the packets up and 3) igniting them with a safety flare he does not know is taped to his own leg and that in his dissociative state he is fully capable of "Martin Riggs-ing" a dislocated ankle back into place. That is only about a 0.65 on the Michael Bay scale of belief suspension, and we don't really have a problem until we hit a 0.8. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 At this point I am shockingly confidant that my stomach is more toned that Bo Dallas' and i would never subject a large group of people to images of me running in a white speedo. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Why do I feel, every time I see Ryback grab a microphone, that he's either about to sell me a stake in Plexus Probiotics or a bunch of stuff from his Lush catalog or that he's going to try to get me to invest in some resort property on the Salton Sea? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy LaRue Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Bo's stomach is distracting. Yet mesmerizing. It's a human lava lamp. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Bo's stomach is distracting. Yet mesmerizing. It's a human lava lamp. It's like someone microwaved a Stretch Armstrong dolltm but only for like 20 seconds. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm just sad the show ended without letting us see the footage of Dean finding Kane's ambulance backstage, jumping in the back of it and yelling "THERE'S A HALF A DOZEN UNOPENED UNFROZEN FREEZE POPS IN IT FOR YOU IF YOU CAN GET ME TO MEMPHIS BY SUN-UP MY GOOD MAN!! WAIT...MAKE THAT FIVE UNOPENED UNFROZEN FREEZE POPS AND ONE STICKY PAIR OF PANTS!!! DAMN MY SHARP FINGERNAILS!!!!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nice Guy Eddie Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I love that this thread is only at two pages and there are 14 posts from Piranesi. Keep up the productivity. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 John Cena is coming off like the mean angry white land-developer who wants those meddling ethnic breakdancers at the community center to start learning how to follow the GODDAMN RULES OF PROPER SOCIETY ALREADY!!!! It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't then have Michael Cole going "Cena's right! There's a time to be entertaining and a time to be serious!" on the same show as Kane's HR evaluation/the delivery of Rollins' head in a box. That Divas segment is all sorts of backwardass booking rolled into one. It really watches like someone sabotaging it at every turn because they never wanted to do it in the first place. I mean, the part where Charlotte and Becky run down Paige, who comes out and TEAMS with them was so "Women...they change their minds constantly...amirite?!" And I don't have a problem with Nikki Bella, the wrestler, I actually think she's completely competent in the ring. But the character is so wrongfully composed, with her talking about how she's the best, but the faces not getting a good "If you're the best, then how come I have the title? How come you haven't won a match in XX weeks?!" kind of line, upon which Nikki reacts with a pouty face. It's wrestling booking 101. Then you have a team that's over and just keep them off TV, I was REALLY holding out hope that they would come out and destroy everyone in the ring at the end and say something like "You forgot about Team BAD?!" Oh, I also love that somehow we've gotten back to the booking of "You two are sluts who slept your way to the top" in the Divas Revolution. You would think if you were going to make this a focal point of your summer program (Like how it began, it actually got some non-wrestling press), you would bring in some of the people who booked the NXT stuff and tell whoever writes Raw to keep their hands off that segment, like the NXT guys/gals book it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I love that this thread is only at two pages and there are 14 posts from Piranesi. Keep up the productivity. It's like an enthusiasm contact buzz I get whenever I see or hear The New Day. They just make me see the good in everything and want to make everyone else see it. They make me feel how Oprah makes white ladies in Coldwater Creek sweater-dresses feel. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SolidGoldBomb Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 What a show full of nothing...outside of Wacky Kane being great. Was I the only one who saw King Barrett return with a sweet ass royal moustache? Plus Luke Harper had his favorite wife beater torn asunder and then he got the shit beaten out of him by Titus, who then got choked out by Brony Strawman The New Day vs Cena/Dudleys was great Owens & Rusev had a hockey brawl and then rolled onto Ryback Big Show was awesome all night....HES A GOTTDAM GIANT! Reigns & Wyatt had a fun ass match 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Cincinnati Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Barrett had a moustache? I knew he was on and I could hear the announcers doing their damnedest to sell it as an impressive return of something. But I still didn't feel compelled to look up from my phone. Based on his booking the last few years, I assume that's what they're going for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandonr4s Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Rollins is one of the best workers in the company, but he just sounds like a pussy. His promos stink and his voice is incredibly annoying. I don't think the Diva Revolution is working out as planned. Sorry, it's boring as hell to me. At least the Buffalo Bills seemed to be having a great time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Cincinnati Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Rollins' voice being too sawft for his tough talk is one of my favourite things about him. He's just so punchable. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristobal Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm currently out of weed - maybe I can borrow some from you guys that actually enjoyed the HR segments?Never touch the stuff myself. It's clearly rotted your taste. I'm very sorry I didn't enjoy an embarrassingly cheesy segment like you did. When that fog machine hit inside of that ambulance and a few seconds later a fully in-costume Kane popped out - that was a pretty awesome visual, man. And when Kane just stomped his foot on the concrete ground, and the WWE Special Effects Department got their first paycheck of the year outside of the WWE Studios division, with the stupid "crunching" sound. Ohhh yeah, and the gift bit - it's funny that the only slightly comedic part of the entire thing came from Rollins, though, when they recreated the box scene from Seven.You recounting a bunch of awesome stuff in your post-ironic hipster tone doesn't make it less awesome. Kane: It's your severed head, Seth. Seth: *wide-eyed stare* Kane: *big cheesy grin* From your statue! No comedy from Kane? I think not. Good day to you, sir! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPPA Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I haven't decided what I want more A Hustle! Loyalty! Booty! T-shirt or Cena's Trombone theme available on iTunes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 The thing with the Corporate Kane doesn't remember Demon Kane's actions thing is, having the Demon actually win the title at the PPV, and then doing a thing on RAW where Corporate has no idea why the belt championship was in his bag and happily hands it back to Seth... and then the Demon destroys Seth later and takes the title back, that's the sort of thing the writers would think was great and let's do it every week for a month or two. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I liked the main event. Any supposedly hate-fueled feud that starts with punches flying and not Irish whips will get my attention. I'm just disappointed that we're not past "holy shit" chants in our new millennium. I wonder if divas dancing for cancer money (in the form of 5s and 10s in their g-straps) making me feel funny in m'pantz is what they were going for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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