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The first five minutes of my comedy routine are about how people think I'm some kind of creepy stalker type, so yeah.

 

"For some people the camera adds ten pounds.  Apparently for me it adds a trenchcoat, a rifle, and an ice cream truck."

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Reportedly a huge crowd at the Donald Trump rally in St. Louis.

I can only imagine how many people look at that, remember the Ferguson stuff, and just think "...yup..."

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Oh you did NOT just send me 47K single line inserts/updates after 5pm on Friday...

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The first five minutes of my comedy routine are about how people think I'm some kind of creepy stalker type, so yeah.

 

"For some people the camera adds ten pounds.  Apparently for me it adds a trenchcoat, a rifle, and an ice cream truck."

You still owe me for the sweet paint job on that ice cream truck.

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Terrible gas mileage, honestly.  Didn't stick with it for long, plus really conspicuous in the winter months.

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Today I got a text letting me know that my 94-year-old grandfather is in the hospital waiting for test results...and that he was in on Tuesday and nobody told me.  An hour later, the GF found out that not only was her temp-to-hire job not getting picked up, but that  she and the others in her situation weren't even in the Q2 budget.  Her last day is 4/1.  We just spent an hour on the phone crying at each other.

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Thanks.  My grandfather is home from the hospital.  This isn't a "make him comfortable and wait for the end" sent home, it's not a "nothing wrong with him" sent home.  It's more a "maybe you should go to Little Rock and see a specialist" sent home, so no real change in the amount of tension.

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And my 18 year old little sister has thyroid cancer.

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Ak.  Hate to hear that stuff.

 

I freaked out this past week when I heard that my 15-year-old niece had gone to the hospital after passing out at school...she's doing a bit better now but they're not sure what's wrong and she's still in some pain.  Way too young to be going through stuff like that.

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And my 18 year old little sister has thyroid cancer.

 

My wife was diagnosed with the same last May.  Hopefully your sister's is one of the types that has nearly 100% survival rates.  My wife's cancer was folliular and papillary, which both fortunately fall into that category.  

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And my 18 year old little sister has thyroid cancer.

I'm so sorry to hear that, man. Positive vibes headed your way.

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And my 18 year old little sister has thyroid cancer.

 

My wife was diagnosed with the same last May.  Hopefully your sister's is one of the types that has nearly 100% survival rates.  My wife's cancer was folliular and papillary, which both fortunately fall into that category.

Yeah, I mean, on the grand scale it could be a hell of a lot worse. But still, she's 18 and fuck

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And my 18 year old little sister has thyroid cancer.

 

My wife was diagnosed with the same last May.  Hopefully your sister's is one of the types that has nearly 100% survival rates.  My wife's cancer was folliular and papillary, which both fortunately fall into that category.

Yeah, I mean, on the grand scale it could be a hell of a lot worse. But still, she's 18 and fuck

 

 

Shit, best of luck to you and yours, man.  On the positive side, a friend's wife had thyroid cancer and they successfully removed the  thyroid and now she just has to take thyroid drugs the rest of her life, so it's definitely one of the survivable cancers. 

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My grandma and her husband were in a car crash tonight. He broke seven ribs. She's basically okay, but she's 84 so gonna keep her for awhile. 

Sitting in a hospital waiting room now, no clue what's gonna happen

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So I went for my first actual job interview last week (previous years were in the military and then I got a job because of my military experience) totally bombed it, was the only person I knew who didn't get hired and was directly told I was not going to be hired even though my experience and people recommending me for the job were exactly what they were looking for

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Speaking as someone who's currently out of work, has been for 6 months, and has had nine unsuccessful in-person interviews in that time... they can be tough.  Only advice I can give is write down the questions you got stuck on and come up with better answers for next time, and go get a book on job interviews from the library and look through it.

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Or learn the art of social manipulation to figure out answers to the really stupid questions some interviews have. That's not quite as easy.

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I saw a vapid news story a few days ago about job interviews that really pissed me off.  It was about goofy questions interviewers ask, like "how many basketballs do you think could fit in this room?" and other wacky~! "outside the box" questions.

As someone who has been on both sides of the interview table, I hate shit like this.  It comes off like the interviewer thinks he's clever and is having some fun at the expense of someone who wants, maybe desperately needs, a job.  Christ, have some fucking empathy. 

Guys looking for jobs: if you're in front of an interviewer, odds are your resume matches what they need.  At this rate, you just need to prove you're a guy they'd like to work with and not fuck up the interview.  Just prep for standard job interview questions, try to anticipate what they might ask about your experience, and be enthusiastic about the job -- I got my first job in my current field based on lies and enthusiasm.  Once you're in the room, unless they're just huge assholes, you just have to prove your resume isn't bullshit and that you have a personality that meshes with theirs.

That was some rambling shit but I want to say good luck, my dudes.

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If I could suggest one question to prep for, the one I remember popping up in interviews the most was, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

 

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And the answer to that is something the lines of "hopefully here, advancing my career to the next level and contributing...I hope you find me to be a valuable addition."  Put it in your own words, smile, try to sound natural, not like you're reading a script on Raw.  This is the place where you're telling them you want to stay, conform and contribute, even if you don't mean it...not where you talk about your lifelong dream of eventually quitting work to raise llamas.

A company wants someone who is good and who will stick around so they don't have to go through this hiring bullshit again.  Last guy I hired, we only had 3 applicants who could even get to the interview stage.  So yeah, make them think you're that guy who will be there in 5 years.  If you have any answer to any question contradicts that narrative, like "I may be going back to school in a year," just lie.

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I hate that question and never ask it. I get why people do, but it's one of those questions where you're damn near guaranteed to get the answer the interviewee thinks you want to hear.

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Oh I do, too.  Job interviews are just a bullshit game and everybody knows it.  The key is really to just not say anything that would disqualify you and to be personable enough that they think you can get along.

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And keep your dick in your pants.  Most of the time

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