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It's his way of saying hey to Carol Burnett's grandma.

You have to approach beating Brock Lesnar like a quest in a role playing game. If you can get the magic brief case, and let John Cena spam Lesnar with AA's until his HP runs out, thenpay the dollars and maybe get lucky with a brief case shot before the bell and maybe a finishing maneuver if you have enough MP. If you're worried, keep leveling up by beating Cesaro a bunch of times.

To be fair, I doubt that he's married to AJ for much longer. He has a history of walking out on contractual obligations after the Royal Rumble.

Y'all are some morbid ass people.

I like that Dean arrived in a cab and clearly had no money to pay. Dean has always had trouble separating cabs, ambulances, and buses, and police cars. They all kind of seem to do the same things to him. So there's no way he's clear on which ones he's supposed to pay for, which ones he is supposed to jump in front of and hope they stop, and which ones other people put you into. Like, he got there tonight probably by jumping in front of one kind. And he left by being put into another kind. And that is how transportation works for him.

I'm not giving a giant review of a PPV that sort of was just there for me. However, let me state for the record that the fact that there were NO WYATT FAMILY APPEARANCES but we got what felt like 8 days of Orton/Jericho AND Miz/Zig with 2 bro country dudes added to the worst announce team is history is a crime.

You're so edgy and cool.

So for the bulk of the match Brock is just wandering around taking shits.

Why? It's not like he's exerting any type of energy with his arms when he applies the STF.

I love that Triple H and Stephanie's role on the show recently has been "Come out to the arena whenever Dean Ambrose shows up and flip the fuck out".

So, he feigned illness to get out of seeing Fred Durst in concert? Well played, Mr. Taker.

Not to make light of Taker being sick, I really hope it's not life threatening, but there are other alarming things from this story. 1. Taker is friends with Fred Durst 2. There are people somewhere that still pay to see Limp Bizkit.

This gif's time is now!

Stephanie dances like a politician's wife at a campaign trail event.

Fuck Saved by the Bell. Also Boy Meets World.

Wouldn't carrying around a box of doughnuts be Steen's gimmick?

I completely forgot about the most infuritating thing of the night at least for me. The WWE nuked their PPV bridge tonight. They ripped on anyone who doesn't have the network by basically saying "you must be a real idiot to be paying $54.95 for this". I bet the companies they haven't pissed off because of the network must have been thrilled when they did that and then they did it again later in the night. It's amazing how this company is run.

The problem is, who realistically takes the belt off of Brock? Besides Cena, he's the only guy I can think of. Ambrose is WHITE HOT but I don't think you give him the belt right now. Hell, it took Steve Austin almost 2 years. I don't think people don't have the patience or attention span for a 2 year build anymore. Every smark in the world was crying and whining about Bryan's build last year, which was 9 months. The 9 month part isn't what people were dissatisfied with... It was what wound up being confirmed by everyone, that they had no intention of paying off that angle with Bryan winning the title at Mania until a bunch of stuff they planned went wrong.

Large Marge should have dropped Ambrose off.

One of the real standouts tonight was Lillian Garcia's pronunciations: I've done my best to transcribe part of her version of our national anthem:

Meanwhile at King of Trios

HouDEANi

Swagger couldn't do it. Mark Henry couldn't do it. The Honky Tonk Man needs to step up and defend America against Rusev.

Because he let down JBL.

I want WWE to hire piranesi to write only for Dean Ambrose and no one else.

Seth Rollins: world's shittiest architect?

They genuinely have something with Brock-Cena and as a fan, I don't mind having more of it. It's not as if MSG wasn't built on the premise if they had something good, they'd book it for three straight shows while escalating the stakes/stips.

That cabbie is still waiting like in "Airplane!"

And Smackdown is a PG show

I'm an alright dude when you meet me, sure.

I think AJ is pushed to the top because outside of Paige nobody else is quite ready. They have a few good vets but they have given up on them being stars. Just wait until The Boss arrives. She's taking over. Gregg, you forgot Heyman and Hunter.

meh...give it 6 months....you guys will be shitting on him.

No carrying around an empty donut box is already Chris Hero's gimmick.

Horowitz actually worked two (count 'em, two!) AJ tours. Sadly he got some heat during his second run for using 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Coochie" as his entrance music.

"They" probably had no idea what the flag was. I think Zayn is kind of, um, generic in NXT, but I love that he did this and am really pulling for him now. Kinda the same reaction I got when MVP went to Ferguson, except Zayn isn't some old guy in TNA. Also, I'm not going to argue with anyone about this, because that would be really silly. I would love if all these weird Taker/McCool pics that have been coming out were just a work for an upcoming DDP kidnapping angle.

I just like the idea of people in WWE management sitting down and deciding "yeah, we're going to sabotage this marriage" like some daytime soap opera villains. I agree the marriage probably is doomed due to Lee's road schedule, Punk's wandering eye, etc, but the idea the McMahons would set out to wreck it by keeping Lee on the road as much as they can is so cartoonishly evil it's almost absurd. Almost.

Sage advice And speaking of that photo Koshinaka looks like the worlds happiest grandad right there. No one would ever see the hip attack coming at the family reunion.

Kevin Smith is the Guy Fieri of the motion picture industry. Quentin Tarantino is the Gordon Ramsey

Until you had to fly anywhere

Dusts/Usos was solid, but I'm tired of just seeing the two of them and the Wyatts wrestle eachother over and over again. Sheamus/Cesaro was also good, but Cesaro should have won. Hopefully we haven't seen the last of it. Miz is one of those guys who generally sucks but can be carried if he's in there with the right guy he has chemistry with and he and Ziggler had another good bout. I just hope Ziggler comes back and then moves on or Miz goes to do another straight to Redbox movie. It was pretty clear that Jericho was going to lose, but fuck Orton is terrible. There is nothing whatsoever intimidating or creepy about his "crazy' mannerisms, he just looks like a mouthbreather having a tantrum, and his punt is an awful move that doesn't come off as remotely dangerous no matter how much they try and put it over. Speaking of putting things over, I think tonight was one of those nights that shows just how truly vile the commentary team is nowadays. I can't think of that many other wrestlers around now whose work I think highly of but whose character is as genuinely off-putting as AJ. Her manic hehe look how crazy I am schtick just gets more annoying by the week and has been going on far too long. Match wasn't bad though. I was expecting a fuck finish in the main event to set up Cena/Lesnar HIAC but I think this just went a little overboard. There were plenty of ways to get a DQ beyond making Rollins look weak. Isn't this the second time they've blown off a Rollins/Ambrose match on a PPV?

I think Nikki is just pretty good at this point. She was working pretty tight in there. Plus, every time I see her wrestle on Main Event or Superstars, she looks solid.

The guy was expected to undergo multiple surgeries to live more comfortably, perhaps it's just a recovery kind of thing. When someone asks for prayers, it usually denotes a level of seriousness however. Maybe he lied to Durst to avoid his concert...

JTG should still have a job based off of these 2 sell jobs alone.

Zayn being pro-Palestine instantly makes me like him a LOT less. I like you a LOT less too.

Because we're done pretending it matters when John Cena drops the title to another full time guy. Brock Lesnar is the scariest, most dominant figure in wrestling. He's not over exposed, and beats only the top guys when he feels like it. Austin is Top 3 biggest name in the history of the company and if he came back to fight, why should it be in a non-title fight where the outcome is meaningless? You put it for the strap like it has some fucking importance. This part time vs. full time guy is some stupid backstage locker room argument that somehow wrestlers conned the fans into taking part in. I want a title fight, I want the biggest stars attatched. I don't want John Cena dropping the title to Roman Reigns and pretending like it's a big deal, when he's lost that fucking title over a dozen times already, and he'll just get it back in a few weeks when the ratings don't go up.

Dear Wrestling Observer Forum, I am a ring attendant in a small village near Tijuana, and was convinced that all of your wild and sexy stories were complete works of fiction. Until one day...

Look, I'm gonna be straight up with you guys, someone shoulda drowned Caillou.