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The Awesome/Annoying TV COMMERCIAL Thread

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The absolute classic of these? The HBO openings. Especially the extended ones

http://youtu.be/QK8huHlyMrc

 

 

The great thing about the HBO one, other than the fact that it usually meant that MIDNIGHT MADNESS was about to come on, is how rooted it is in the real world compared to the others.  Instead of phantasmagoric galactic nonsense just spewing random colors and lights, it tells a story (sort of) of something that actually happened.  HBO or Echostar or whoever shot a satellite up into orbit, and that moment...happening way above all those little people and lights in the below, changed television.  So We see an object that represents something that is essential to what HBO is...a satellite.  That's what that giant HBO stands for.  The moment that they put that first satellite in orbit and fired it up.

 

It starts in the real world and never really leaves it...Yes, it's an exaggeration, a mythology.  But it's rooted in a real moment that defined this company and changed the cultural landscape.

 

It's quasi-historical and filled with pride.  It says: "We put this thing up there in space and now we have a chance to do something amazing...show you boobs on DREAM ON while your parents are at work."

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That HBO gimmick screams my childhood.  I get borderline teary eyed.

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I'm glad I'm not the only old fart who grew up during the beginning of HBO. I remember it didn't start until 5pm and then turning off after midnight because it only had a few movies at first. And oh, happy day when that little booklet came in the mail showing the new movies for the next month.

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Little booklet?!  Grandma would always get the GIANT FUCKING satellite tv guide.

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Ugh, I hate most, if not all of those "Foundation For a Better Life" commercials, and not only because that's a stupid, meaningless name.

By far the worst one, with "Alex" the high school basketball player, just came on. I hate goodie two-shoes people like that. I hate his sad doe eyes while coach talks to the team. I hate that either his team can never get a call in their favor when he's involved (he probably doesn't freak when bad calls go against his team, or he'd be booted every game) or he decided to wait until the championship game to have this "attack of consience" and fuck his team over.

BONUS: Seeing for the 1523544th time, I just noticed that HE DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE DAMNED BALL! NO ONE DID!

Seriously, fuck that kid.

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Sadly my Google-Fu is weak and so I am unable to find one of those 1970s cable boxes I grew up with. The ones with the GIANT dial on the front that looked like something out of a sci-fi movie.

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Just about every commercial for TheTruth.com makes me want to take up smoking.

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I'm so glad I don't see those nearly as often as I used to.

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Sadly my Google-Fu is weak and so I am unable to find one of those 1970s cable boxes I grew up with. The ones with the GIANT dial on the front that looked like something out of a sci-fi movie.

 

 

I was using one of those as late as 1991 to get a few basic cable channels in my dorm room.

 

Thankfully it worked and I was able to find out that Gerardo likes his sushi raw(?)...over and over andover again.

 

That same great poet also taught me that in a pinch, you can rhyme "parents" with "appearance."

 

And that's what I learned in college.  Thanks, early 90s!

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God damn,  I loathe the woman who says "You didn't know I was wearing it, did you?"

 

Why the hell is she so smug about it?

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Part of their core advertising plan to scar you so much that you are forced to get one due to medical issues caused by the ad.

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I love any commercial that deals with getting old--Medical Alert, tubs with side-entry doors, whatever.  The ads dealing with funeral costs are the best.  Everyone gasps at how Helen only received $255 from Social Security to help pay for dear Tom's last expenses.  That's the same rate that SS has been handing out for the past 60 years or so.  But these whippersnappers are just now learning this!  So please, buy this Alex Trebek-endorsed term life insurance to help bury or cremate dear Tom.  And pass the creamed potatoes, dearies, I forgot my dentures so I'll have to skip your delicious corn on the cob.

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My favorite Penn Life commercial was the one when the neighbors are talking about the young woman's parent dying and one says "I was going to make her a lunch to ease the burden" or some shit and it's horrifically funny.

 

I do enjoy that the prevailing theme of all the commercials is "my parent died but hey I got this check in the mail and life is awesome!"

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http://youtu.be/9uC7eccMg98

 

I should hate this commercial, but I ain't gonna lie, the song is kinda hot.

 

Um, K-Mart IS aware that it's 2013 and not 1993?

 

Also, pretty much every school system in America now has a pretty tough "anti-hoodie" policy these days, so hyping the fact that you can buy hoodies at K-Mart is a pretty good way to alienate every educator in the country from K-Mart.

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Every Farmer's Insurance ad with J.K. Simmons has pretty much been a slam-dunk.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyTAsRSVzlI

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Also, pretty much every school system in America now has a pretty tough "anti-hoodie" policy these days, so hyping the fact that you can buy hoodies at K-Mart is a pretty good way to alienate every educator in the country from K-Mart.

 

Alienating people that make up retarded rules is the one useful thing you can learn to do in school so I approve.

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Also, pretty much every school system in America now has a pretty tough "anti-hoodie" policy these days, so hyping the fact that you can buy hoodies at K-Mart is a pretty good way to alienate every educator in the country from K-Mart.

 

Alienating people that make up retarded rules is the one useful thing you can learn to do in school so I approve.

 

 

Yeah....you obviously haven't been inside a high school anytime in the last five years or so. If you actually had to deal with these kids who wear hoodies in the classroom to be "cool" or "tough" and you'd lose any sympathy for them.

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They had an anti baseball cap policy in my high school that lasted two days because we all just wore baseball caps.

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I wore hoodies in high school, just because I was a walker in St. Louis in the Winter, and they were comfortable and easy to wear. Usually, it was the hoodie our school actually sold.

 

Also, I am legitimately curious if the redhead from the Wendys chick will ever be able to have a serious acting career again after being teh Wendys chick, because the taint of horrible horrible commercials has ended many a career... I think. Maybe her being hot enough will make it not matter.

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http://youtu.be/9uC7eccMg98

 

I should hate this commercial, but I ain't gonna lie, the song is kinda hot.

Wait, are those the 'Hot Cheetos and Takis' kids?  Because if so that is fucking awesome.

 

EDIT: It is!  Good on them.  

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I wore hoodies in high school, just because I was a walker in St. Louis in the Winter, and they were comfortable and easy to wear. Usually, it was the hoodie our school actually sold.

 

Also, I am legitimately curious if the redhead from the Wendys chick will ever be able to have a serious acting career again after being teh Wendys chick, because the taint of horrible horrible commercials has ended many a career... I think. Maybe her being hot enough will make it not matter.

 

I think being the face of a company in their commercials pays pretty well though, I doubt Flo from Geico is hurting for money.

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