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Gonzo

2015 NFL PRE-SEASON THREAD

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The Steelers and the Vikings both report to Training Camp today, which means the offseason is over.

 

Now we enter the part of the NFL calendar where we spend the next seven weeks saying, "Oh, dear lord, don't let anybody important get injured."

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The Steelers and the Vikings both report to Training Camp today, which means the offseason is over.

Now we enter the part of the NFL calendar where we spend the next seven weeks saying, "Oh, dear lord, don't let anybody important get injured."

So that also makes this the thread to put the news reports of when your least favorite team has a, (insert name here) (insert injury here) (insert expected time missed here).

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The Fins have already cut Josh Freeman

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Who's our sponsor for the ACL Tear of the Day?

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ITS PRESEASON~!!!!!!!!! *takes a deep breath* There's sunshine outside for the next six months, right? I should go outside by then.. But.. football.

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Who's our sponsor for the ACL Tear of the Day?

 

Does the NFL have an official multivitamin?

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Well, I wouldn't call it official, but...

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ITS PRESEASON~!!!!!!!!! *takes a deep breath* There's sunshine outside for the next six months, right? I should go outside by then.. But.. football.

I play basketball on Sat and Sun every weekend then Football season then my hard work of getting better in shape goes to hell because I play basketball maybe once a month. This year will be different dammit or I will sell several POPs on EBay!

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Who's our sponsor for the ACL Tear of the Day?

Snickers. . . .

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Who's our sponsor for the ACL Tear of the Day?

Rice Krispies

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Who's our sponsor for the ACL Tear of the Day?

Snickers. . . .

 

Snickers is our Concussion of the Day, remember?

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Nothing brings the funny like brain injuries!

 

But seriously, after seeing that as someone whose life was pretty fucked by concussions, I might never buy a snickers bar again.

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*obligatory cruel joke about you not remembering you wrote that due to concussions tomorrow*

*is flogged*
That is all.

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Jonathan Martin is retiring from the NFL due to 'back injuries'.

 

He could have also chose "sucking at football" as a reason.  Asshole. 

 

zwK7XG6.gif

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Jonathan Martin is retiring from the NFL due to 'back injuries'.

He could have also chose "sucking at football" as a reason. Asshole.

zwK7XG6.gif

I thought he retired two years ago.

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Apparently Osi Umenyiora is in talks with the Giants to sign a one-day deal and retire as a Giant

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He'll end up coming to the event suited up thinking it was a long-term deal and that he's there to practice. They'll oblige and let him tackle whichever one of Phil Simms sons is still in the league with a spleen. I think it's Matt, rudimentary googling says he's with the Bills, so they could hook that up. Would've been easier when he was a Jet. He does realize he can leave the state of New York(northern Jersey) right?

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Jonathan Martin is retiring from the NFL due to 'back injuries'.

He could have also chose "sucking at football" as a reason. Asshole.

zwK7XG6.gif

I thought he retired two years ago.

 

Best I can figure is he has the ability to transform into adorable puppies on command.

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I am not sure if I am more shocked or pleasantly surprised that the Arizona Cardinals hired the first female coach in the NFL and we haven't heard the usual "IT IS THE PUSSIFICATION OF AMERICA" bullshit that we usually hear from sports radio/TV people desperate to show how much of a man they really are to other men.   I guess they are distracted by other meaningless things

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Fins have re-signed Josh Freeman for... reasons I guess

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Competition for Tannehill's caddie?

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That's Matt Moore's job.  

 

Freeman is around because Ndamukong is a vengeful, angry god and needs fresh meat for our sacrifice unto him. 

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I choose to be an optimist. Maybe his signing bonus metagame is merely strong. ;-)

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No Brady until October. Suspension upheld.

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