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Fix Every Sport


Guest The Magnificent 7

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Guest The Magnificent 7

Your task is to fix each major (or minor) sport with ONE rule change.  Here's mine:

 

HOCKEY (NHL):  3 points for a win.  I'm not even explaining this one.  Judas Priest, 2 points for a win and 1 for a tie is bullshit. 

 

SOCCER:  If the match has to be stopped for an injury and you have to leave the pitch you cannot come back on for 10 minutes.  This rolling around and limping off malarkey only to sprint back on needs to go. 

 

BASKETBALL (NBA):  A ball should not magically move to half court at the end of the game.  I know it makes it more exciting but you have to have some damn sporting principles, too. 

 

BASEBALL (MLB):  Once you step into the batter's box, and the pitcher steps on the rubber there ain't no stepping out for either party to adjust nut sacks.  I don't care if killer bees swarm either area, pitch the ball and get on with the damn game. 

 

COLLEGE BASKETBALL:  Fix this charging bullshit.  6'11" players should not be falling over at a little contact by a point guard driving the lane.  They should be encouraged to challenge shots not fall to the floor. 

 

FOOTBALL (NFL):  Take a cue from rugby...you gotta plant the damn ball in the end zone.  What is this horseshit where you can hike the ball and hold it halfway over the goal line and act like you planted a flag on the moon.  Fix this nonsense.  A touchdown should be I came, I saw, I conquered.

 

 

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SOCCER: Every time a British person says "it's not soccer it's football" fine them a dollar and dedicate it to helping end world hunger. Fifty cents when a British person on commentary says "just about" when they actually mean "just barely". Every time Craig Forrest says brilliant on Sportsnet, everybody drink. This won't fix anything wrong with the game but we'll all be happier for the end results.

 

NBA: Stop rigging games. Come on.

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Rugby League: Incorporate an Obstruction Rule that can be adjudicated by a reasonable person watching in real time.

 

Rugby Union: Drop the value of Penalty goals from 3 to 2.

 

NFL: Actually, the touching down on a touchdown is a good one. I would otherwise have taken the cue from Rugby to have rules about tackling instead of this James Harrison Helmeted Torpedo nonsense.

 

And, fun fact: the word Soccer comes from the Association in Association Football; which goes back to the English governing body. It's an English-English word, not an American one.

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Baseball: Salary Cap.

Football: Change the name. The word origin of "soccer" is irrelevant. In one game 10 of 11 players for a team have more contact with the ball via their feet than any other body part, and the 11th kicks it sometimes too. In the other game, two people out of 53 on a roster kick it. The world is right.

Soccer. NATO should declare war on FIFA.

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OK, here are mine:

 

Baseball - Pitching changes get 60 seconds - and the manager signals from the dugout.  Soon as he signals, the clock starts rolling.  If the reliever wants to mosey on in and leave himself time for one warm-up, so be it.  If he & the manager hustle, leaving him time for 6 pitches, so be it.

 

College Football - Overtimes the ball starts at the 40 and stats accumulated in OT don't count towards season totals

 

Pro football - Pass interference, called and uncalled, offensive and defensive, is reviewable.  Penalties can be called via replay or overturned or switched from defensive to offensive.

 

Hockey - The goal will be made 2 feet wider and 8" (maybe 12?) taller.  I'd love to get rid of the shootout and switch to 10-minute overtimes with 3-2-1 points for games but I only get one change and it's the size of the goal.

 

College basketball - All conference automatic berths in the NCAA tournament are given to regular season champions.  No more tournament champion BS.  It's dumb to play an 18-game regular season just to determine seeding for a conference tournament to crown a champion.

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Soccer: Diving is a straight red card, and is REVIEWABLE/CHALLENGABLE. 

 

Baseball: Batters can only leave the batter's box once during their at-bat, not after every single goddamn pitch. And they can't dig the ever-loving shit out of the back line of the batters box to the point it's indistinguishable by the 3rd inning. 

 

American football (all levels): OT are 15 minutes periods, not this alternating possessions from the opponent's 25 yard line or first score wins. 

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Guest The Magnificent 7

TENNIS - If you grunt / shriek, GET THE FUCK OUT.  Past time opponents tell the umpire their opponent is doing this shit on purpose to mess with them..  Meanwhile if a fan says anything during a point, said grunter gets all bent out of shape.  Basically, Sharapova, Azarenka BAN PLZ. 

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Baseball:  Cut down on guys stepping out of the batters box, pitcher/catcher/manager meetings, etc.

 

Football:  Cut out Thursday night games.

 

Basketball:  Call traveling and walking.  This cradle the ball and take 4 steps to the basket is silly.  Either that or drop to 4 fouls and 3 time outs for a full game.  End of games take too long and all of the fouls break up the flow of the game.

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Pretty much everything said so far interferes with what is best fit for TV broadcasters, and as such won't happen :(

 

Agree re: basketball. No magic half court movement, no bullshit take foul after foul, no contrived situations where there's 0.2 seconds left on the clock that takes ten minutes and half a dozen timeouts to achieve.

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NHL AND NBA (same rule):  Lottery percentages become ranked based on team's won-loss record after the first team in the league gets eliminated from playoff contention. This way, teams that fight and try to keep in the hunt for a title get rewarded, teams that play out the string or fall out of playoff contention get punished.

 

BASEBALL:  Legalize PEDs. Football uses them without a problem, and no matter what people want to say in the current era, the 1995-2002 era was exciting to watch when people were using them regularly.

 

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: Expand the NCAA tournament to 96 and get rid of the NIT- with the same automatic bids as given in the NIT to regular season champs.

 

FOOTBALL (NFL): Cut out Thursday Night games.

 

FOOTBALL (COLLEGE): Institute relegation for the Big 5 BCS conferences- worst team in each BCS conference is replaced with the conference champion of one of the Other 5 BCS conferences.

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NHL AND NBA (same rule): Lottery percentages become ranked based on team's won-loss record after the first team in the league gets eliminated from playoff contention. This way, teams that fight and try to keep in the hunt for a title get rewarded, teams that play out the string or fall out of playoff contention get punished.

BASEBALL: Legalize PEDs. Football uses them without a problem, and no matter what people want to say in the current era, the 1995-2002 era was exciting to watch when people were using them regularly.

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: Expand the NCAA tournament to 96 and get rid of the NIT- with the same automatic bids as given in the NIT to regular season champs.

FOOTBALL (NFL): Cut out Thursday Night games.

FOOTBALL (COLLEGE): Institute relegation for the Big 5 BCS conferences- worst team in each BCS conference is replaced with the conference champion of one of the Other 5 BCS conferences.

Your college football one I have some mixed emotions. On one hand, I love your creative thought. On the other, it's *my* creative thought that's putting a downer on it. I'm wondering if the ends will justify the means. Imagine Vanderbilt going to the ACC and FSU going to the SEC. SEC becomes even more powerful and the ACC gets watered down further. Or the following year ACC Champs Duke goes to the Big12. Not exactly the Jayhawk/Blue Devil match up many would want to see.

Then again, this is *your* rule change, which is more than I can say for myself, as I have no ideas of my own, at the moment.

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NCAA Basketball:  Conference champions that earned auto-bids do not go the play-in games, they are automatically in the field of 64 BECAUSE THEY EARNED A GOD DAMN AUTO-BID!

 

NFL:  Adopt the college football overtime rules.

 

NBA:  Tear down the conference system, best 16 teams make the playoffs. 

 

MLB:  Both leagues have the same damn rules.  I don't care if we keep or dump the DH, but it depending on what building the game is in is just fucking stupid.

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FOOTBALL (COLLEGE): Institute relegation for the Big 5 BCS conferences- worst team in each BCS conference is replaced with the conference champion of one of the Other 5 BCS conferences.

Your college football one I have some mixed emotions. On one hand, I love your creative thought. On the other, it's *my* creative thought that's putting a downer on it. I'm wondering if the ends will justify the means. Imagine Vanderbilt going to the ACC and FSU going to the SEC. SEC becomes even more powerful and the ACC gets watered down further. Or the following year ACC Champs Duke goes to the Big12. Not exactly the Jayhawk/Blue Devil match up many would want to see.

Then again, this is *your* rule change, which is more than I can say for myself, as I have no ideas of my own, at the moment.

 

 

To clarify it a bit better there- it wouldn't be between the "Big 5" conferences.

 

Instead- each "Big 5" BCS conference would be connected to a "Little 5" BCS conference (for geographic purposes, it would play out as:)

ACC connected to the American

Big Ten connected to the MAC

Big 12 connected to the Sun Belt

Pac-12 connected to the Mountain West

SEC connected to Conference USA

And from there, the relegation would occur, which would end up instead of "Vanderbilt to ACC, Florida State to SEC", it'd be (for this year's example):

ACC: Syracuse or Wake Forest out, Memphis, Central Florida, or Cincinnati in

Big 12: Iowa State out, Georgia Southern in

Big Ten: Purdue out, Northern Illinois in

Pac-12: Colorado out, Boise State in

SEC: Vanderbilt out, Marshall in

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NCAA Basketball: Possession arrow has to go. It is the dumbest fucking thing of all time in any sport.

 

NCAA Football: Get rid of the auto ejection for targeting rule and get rid of the excessive celebration rule. Also, move overtime possession back to 35-yard line.

 

NFL: EVERYTHING is reviewable. I don't care if it takes more time, get it right.

 

Baseball: Get rid of the extra wild card and make every series best of 7.

 

Hockey: Get rid of overtime loss and a win is 3 points.

 

NBA:  Referees are absolute garbage, I don't know how to fix it. They just need to be held accountable for terrible officiating.

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NFL: put a goddamn GPS in the ball so that spotting the ball is not such a damn mystery.  Also, put those shoplifting things at the entrances of stores at the goal line that can detect if the chip passed by.  

 

NBA: Fire Joey Crawford.

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NHL: 3-2-1 points system. Regulation time win deserves to count more than winning a shootout.

 

Soccer: Torn between video review of all goals and retroactively penalizing divers with cards, suspensions and fines. I'll go with the diving punishment.

 

Baseball: Dump the second wild card.

 

College football: Overtime starts at the 40 yard line. In all honesty, I would blow up American college sports and make them run it like the Ivy League, but that's never going to happen.

 

NFL: Coaches can challenge as many times as they want, as long as they have a timeout remaining.

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NBA (and college too, if you're froggy) - play to a point total, like a pickup game. Crunch the numbers to figure out what makes the most sense, probably first to 100. Win by 2. Completely cuts out the BS attrition and foul-a-thon at the end of games. Timeouts would be purely strategic, not clock management. Putting a guy on the foul line under any circumstances would be a mistake, not a game management strategy.

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Guest The Magnificent 7

NBA (and college too, if you're froggy) - play to a point total, like a pickup game. Crunch the numbers to figure out what makes the most sense, probably first to 100. Win by 2. Completely cuts out the BS attrition and foul-a-thon at the end of games. Timeouts would be purely strategic, not clock management. Putting a guy on the foul line under any circumstances would be a mistake, not a game management strategy.

 

I've only thought about this for about 30 seconds since your post, but I have a feeling that you would see even more 3 point attempts in basketball than you do now (in my opinion that would be a bad thing, but others may like it).  Interesting rule change, though.  I can see some dudes heaving up 3 after 3 especially as the game got in the high 80's and 90's.

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