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Johnny Sorrow

As God As My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly

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Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

 

Oh and this, too.

 

I worked for the only radio general manger dumber than "the big guy."

 

I wonder if WKRP has any thoughts on a rock morning guy...

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Johnny Fever says "piss off, rook"

Johnny Fever is the reason my radio name starts with "Doctor."

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Given that it's Thanksgiving again, let's bring this one back.

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Happy "made up holiday to indulge in overeating and false sense of happiness", septics...

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How to subversively tell your family to eat a dick:

 

20161124_113145.jpg

My aunt made a spice cake using a dick pan from my cousin.  After decoration, it looked like this

20161124_125456.jpg

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PBS station 13 in NY is playing a 50th Anniversary of Alice's Resturant tonight at 11pm, I guess check your local listings if your PBS station is playing it.

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A few quick tips (based on hard-learned very recent experience):

 

1) Don't (I repeat for emphasis DO NOT) binge watch The Handmaid's Tale and then try to watch the Macy's parade.

2) If you do make mistake No. 1: IMMEDIATELY tune into Shoutcast TV and medicate with MST3K Turkey Day.

3) It's probably time to take the Halloween decorations down and scoop up what's left of what used to be your Jack-O-Lantern and schloop it into the woods and/or your neighbor's shed.

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Thanksgiving cartoon specials are crummy, even the Garfield one which is all about Jon creeping on the vet.

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NECRO THREAD~!

This is the 40th anniversary of the original airing of "Turkeys Away."

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I don't remember if I shared this on the board or not, but this summer, during  a run through New England for a rare bird, I had decided to actually see the town of fame from the Alice's Restaurant Massacre, Stockbridge, MA.  A few years ago, I saw the Guthrie center had done a whole festival taking people around the quote scene of the crime unquote in VW Micro  Buses.  I arrived as it was raining a bit and unfortunately, the Guthrie Center was closed on Sunday (A church closed on Sunday?).  So with tears in my eyes, I never did get to see the 27 8x10 color glossy photos with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on the back of each one or find the dump that was closed on Thanksgiving or where the one lone pile of garbage was at the bottom of the cliff, but I did get to see the Stockbridge Police Station, the site of Alice's Restaurant (it is just around the back, but also not opened (yet?) when I arrived) as well as the church.

 

The Police Station:

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The Restaurant:

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The Church that Alice and Ray and Facha the dog lived (aka the Guthrie Center with VW van (not a micro bus, and no shovels and rakes and other implements of destruction in the back20180812_124334.jpg:

 

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Side note. Turkeys can fly. Wild ones anyway, they may clip the wings of domesticated ones used for the show's joke. I choose to think when only hearing the audio he was tossing raw turkeys out of the helicopter.

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Alice Cooper thought chickens could fly.

 

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No they can't. They can jump high, and slow their descent down, but they can't maintain altitude. After centuries of being selectively bred for increased weight & mass (and that's just the European and Asian ones; The Americans with their deregulated farming systems put their meat creatures on steroids) rather than air buoyancy, they have almost entirely evolved into flightlessness.

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American corporate farms *did* put their chickens on hormones back in the 80s, but it led to a rash of prepubescent girls AND boys developing breasts, so federal laws were passed banning hormone use in the development of poultry and cattle.

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Is that accurate? I distinctly remember milk in the 90s from cows using Bovine Growth Hormone that became a big topic about whether it was good or bad for you. Generally, it didn't have any side effects to my knowledge, but people lost their shit anyway. (I live in the Dairy State, I should know this stuff, but I hate farms.)

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BGH does nothing of the sort. 

Besides, there's this thing cows do called "birth" that results in 30x the normal levels of BGH in their milk. Who's screening for tha-- oh right no one because that shit's a fucking myth. 

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Why can't American Beef or Chicken be sold in the EU? Because we've been hearing a lot about that recently. Brexit negotiations! Are we going to keep EU food standards, or are we going to let cheap American steroid beef and chlorinated chicken drive every British beef  & poultry farmer into destitution and poverty?

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