What Wrestlers Could Manage A Target?

[Greggulator]

I have been mildly obsessed with the thought of whether CM Punk could manage a Target since he said the Young Bucks would not be able to manage a Target at the infamous press conference.

Now I want to brainstorm the strengths and weaknesses of Punk, The Bucks and other wrestlers on their chances in succesfully managing a large retail store.

Thoughts?

[dragonzombie]

Shane Douglas?

[TimLivingston]

PJ Walker, obviously. 

[Octopus]

Leva Bates - it sounds like she had a very hands on role in AEW. A lot of people going to here with questions and her solving problems (I think Aubrey said that in an Unrestricted episode).

Jeff Jarrett - Depending in which time period and what’s going on, I think he could manage a target. I could also see some type of shenanigans where he screws the deli and jumps to Walmart. 

William Regal - he would run a tight ship. 

JBL - He would be sued for harassment and bullying/ teasing, but I could see it.

Colt Cabana - he might be too silly or be more independent business oriented, but he could pull it off.

Joey Janela - probably not Target but like a CD and Bong type shop. We have a chain here called Down in the Valley. Low Key, Janela could be a good manager if the stakes are low.

Xavier Woods - could be the best boss ever.

[zendragon]

Not Punk he seems to have zero people skills let alone looking after several dozen teenagers on minimum wage.

HHH doing his Cerebral Assassin bit 

Bruce Prichard would suck up to regional management 

Lance Storm the man way to straight laced to have ever been in wrestling

[GuerrillaMonsoon]

I think Bret would take great pride in making sure Target workers went home safe and sound to their families after working an eight hour day stocking the hardware section, or that customers would get what they came for and their money's worth, not the sort of schmozz you'd get at Woolworths. They'd know they were in safe hands at that Target, and shopping there would feel real and authentic, not hokey business exposing Walmart.

[zendragon]

I'd like to see a sitcom where Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan have to try to manage a target and sheinagans ensue

Hogan would be great in those Target union busting videos

 

[Matt D]

Weirdly, I think this is probably within Edge's skillset.

[Travis Sheldon]

My wife worked at Target in the 90s, I'm qualified to offer the opinion that their management is often outlaw mud-show level. 

So, Ian Rotten? 

Edited September 3, 2023 by Travis Sheldon
had deep insight to share

[TheVileOne]

Mark Sterling. He basically seems like the brains behind the whole Major WF brand, while Cardona and Myers are the faces. Not that they don't pull their own weight or anything. 

And they're doing pretty good for themselves. Their live show at WrestleMania 39 weekend was packed and the fans were all fired up. Sterling seems pretty well organized and knows how to work with others and handle his business. 

[zendragon]

Based off Brian Gerwirtz's book Stepahanie MacMahon seems like a competent and humane enough person to run a target 

[AxB]

Most people who spent years in the indies would be good at running retail stores, because they have experience of being in the real world and having a proper job (because very few indie wrestlers make all of their money from wrestling). Whilst anyone who went straight from College Athlete to WWE Performance Centre trainee (whether they went via Professional non-Wrestling athlete or not), they just aren't going to have the life skills.

So Brock Lesnar would be useless, is what I'm saying.

[GuerrillaMonsoon]

Greg Valentine would definitely get in trouble with unions requiring his staff to log on fifteen to twenty minutes before their shift to get warmed up first.

[Curt McGirt]

7 hours ago, Travis Sheldon said:

My wife worked at Target in the 90s, I'm qualified to offer the opinion that their management is often outlaw mud-show level. 

So, Ian Rotten? 

I don't think Target managers can get away with paying their employees in pain pills and/or methamphetamine. 

[SturmCRF]

5 hours ago, AxB said:

Most people who spent years in the indies would be good at running retail stores, because they have experience of being in the real world and having a proper job (because very few indie wrestlers make all of their money from wrestling). Whilst anyone who went straight from College Athlete to WWE Performance Centre trainee (whether they went via Professional non-Wrestling athlete or not), they just aren't going to have the life skills.

So Brock Lesnar would be useless, is what I'm saying.

Now you've made me mourn the Brock Lesnar managing a Target docu-sitcom we're never going to get.

[Technico Support]

Super Dragon would run the most awesome Target around, but it would only be open one day every few months.  

[(BP)]

I agree that Punk isn’t showing solidarity with the working class by shitting on retail managers, but from many years of personal experience I can attest it’s one of the only careers held in equal contempt by both white collar and blue collar workers. Everyone thinks they’re above it for one reason or another.