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TNA for Sale

EN090

By EN090
in FEDS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK

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Big Fresh

Big Fresh

Posted
Posted

I maintain TNA TV should be written like a season of The West Wing. At the end of my first season I'd have someone try to assassinate Dixie Carter. This leads to AJ Styles having a trauma related psychosis where he can't wrestle whenever he hears music in season 2!James

Who does Dixie Carter order to have killed at the end of Season 3?
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BEN!

BEN!

Posted
Posted

So, it turns out i might be running out of money a little sooner than i had planned.  I just want to state that my last post in this thread was all in good fun.  Just some harmless teasing like the Miami Dolphins partake in.  Just good ol' fashion ribbin'.  LOL actually means 'lots of love.'

I would very much like to join the TNA creative staff.  To show what my awareness and potential passion for TNA can bring to your organization, I present:

THE HOBO ARMY INITIATIVE!

Step 1) Branding
When TNA Wrestling opened its doors over a decade ago, one of the things that helped it stand out amongst the wrestling landscape was the no limits, high flying X-Division.  In 2013, I believe it's safe to say that the X-Division has clearly lost some of its luster of the past.  Now is the perfect time for a rebranding in order to freshen things up.  What could possibly be more no limits than an X-Division wrestler?  How about one that is not bound by a home or job to hold them down.  Restricted only by what they can carry in their bindles, hobos are clearly the most no limits athletes of them all!

Storyline fire all X-Division wrestlers.  They return repackaged as hobos: Slumdog Dutt, Maple Leaf Meth, Depressed Manik, Pig Pen Sabin, etc.  And even though Sabin is now a hobo, his girlfriend Velvet Sky will stay loyal to him as the first Hobo Army recruit.  She will have male fans everywhere clamoring to join the Hobo Army while happily declaring themselves hobosexuals!

Step 2) Viral Marketing
Even though there has never been any proof of viral marketing translating into dollars, it is still all the rage but nothing beats old fashioned boots on the ground.  I say combine the two.  Recruit volunteers from local homeless shelters in the area where TNA events are to be held.  Pay them a small sum.  Also, make a tax deductible donation to the local shelters.  We'll be putting America to work and helping the local community.

Outfit local "Hobo Army" soldiers in sandwich boards and place them in high traffic areas where TNA events are to be held.  In areas with high amounts of lunchtime traffic such as outdoor cafes, outfit the Hobo Army with flat screen sandwich boards that play clips from TNA's YouTube channel.  They can also double as mobile wi-fi stations for the patrons.  It's TBA Hobovision.  These no limit soldiers of the Hobo Army will have fans saying, 'Ughh, nahnahnahnah' when they see them and their presence will be go viral in no time and this time it won't just be the meningitis.

Step 3) Upselling
Now that eyes are on the Hobo Division, time to sell the people some stuff they don't need.  Got a warehouse full of damaged or defective merchandise?  Someone on the design team not know how to spell 'RVD' correctly?  Sounds like a salesman's hell but now it can be transformed into a salesman's hobodise as all that defective merchandise can be repurposed as offical Hobo Army merchandise for sale direct to the loyal members of the Hobo Division's Hobo Army!

Step 4) Profit
Pockets gonna be fat like Kelly Clarkson!

I look forward to meeting with you and further discussing the Hobo Army Initiative as well as my other ideas such as the integration and utilization of my theory of Stud Stablization into TNA Wrestling.

LOL (Lots Of Love),
Ben

PS
Can't wait to ride the Dixie Train.

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J.H.

J.H.

Posted
Posted

 

I maintain TNA TV should be written like a season of The West Wing. At the end of my first season I'd have someone try to assassinate Dixie Carter. This leads to AJ Styles having a trauma related psychosis where he can't wrestle whenever he hears music in season 2!James

Who does Dixie Carter order to have killed at the end of Season 3?

 

Ian Rotten?

Inoki?

Tiger Jeet Singh?

The possibilities are endless!

The real question is: Who is the wrestling answer to Arnold Vinnick?

 

James

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nate

nate

Posted
Posted

So, it turns out i might be running out of money a little sooner than i had planned.  I just want to state that my last post in this thread was all in good fun.  Just some harmless teasing like the Miami Dolphins partake in.  Just good ol' fashion ribbin'.  LOL actually means 'lots of love.'

I would very much like to join the TNA creative staff.  To show what my awareness and potential passion for TNA can bring to your organization, I present:

THE HOBO ARMY INITIATIVE!

Step 1) Branding

When TNA Wrestling opened its doors over a decade ago, one of the things that helped it stand out amongst the wrestling landscape was the no limits, high flying X-Division.  In 2013, I believe it's safe to say that the X-Division has clearly lost some of its luster of the past.  Now is the perfect time for a rebranding in order to freshen things up.  What could possibly be more no limits than an X-Division wrestler?  How about one that is not bound by a home or job to hold them down.  Restricted only by what they can carry in their bindles, hobos are clearly the most no limits athletes of them all!

Storyline fire all X-Division wrestlers.  They return repackaged as hobos: Slumdog Dutt, Maple Leaf Meth, Depressed Manik, Pig Pen Sabin, etc.  And even though Sabin is now a hobo, his girlfriend Velvet Sky will stay loyal to him as the first Hobo Army recruit.  She will have male fans everywhere clamoring to join the Hobo Army while happily declaring themselves hobosexuals!

Step 2) Viral Marketing

Even though there has never been any proof of viral marketing translating into dollars, it is still all the rage but nothing beats old fashioned boots on the ground.  I say combine the two.  Recruit volunteers from local homeless shelters in the area where TNA events are to be held.  Pay them a small sum.  Also, make a tax deductible donation to the local shelters.  We'll be putting America to work and helping the local community.

Outfit local "Hobo Army" soldiers in sandwich boards and place them in high traffic areas where TNA events are to be held.  In areas with high amounts of lunchtime traffic such as outdoor cafes, outfit the Hobo Army with flat screen sandwich boards that play clips from TNA's YouTube channel.  They can also double as mobile wi-fi stations for the patrons.  It's TBA Hobovision.  These no limit soldiers of the Hobo Army will have fans saying, 'Ughh, nahnahnahnah' when they see them and their presence will be go viral in no time and this time it won't just be the meningitis.

Step 3) Upselling

Now that eyes are on the Hobo Division, time to sell the people some stuff they don't need.  Got a warehouse full of damaged or defective merchandise?  Someone on the design team not know how to spell 'RVD' correctly?  Sounds like a salesman's hell but now it can be transformed into a salesman's hobodise as all that defective merchandise can be repurposed as offical Hobo Army merchandise for sale direct to the loyal members of the Hobo Division's Hobo Army!

Step 4) Profit

Pockets gonna be fat like Kelly Clarkson!

I look forward to meeting with you and further discussing the Hobo Army Initiative as well as my other ideas such as the integration and utilization of my theory of Stud Stablization into TNA Wrestling.

LOL (Lots Of Love),

Ben

PS

Can't wait to ride the Dixie Train.

 

*insert Phillip J. Fry "Shut Up And Take My Money" meme here*

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Big Fresh

Big Fresh

Posted
Posted

I maintain TNA TV should be written like a season of The West Wing. At the end of my first season I'd have someone try to assassinate Dixie Carter. This leads to AJ Styles having a trauma related psychosis where he can't wrestle whenever he hears music in season 2!James

Who does Dixie Carter order to have killed at the end of Season 3?
Ian Rotten?Inoki?Tiger Jeet Singh?The possibilities are endless!The real question is: Who is the wrestling answer to Arnold Vinnick?James
Bob Backlund, clearly.
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Reed

Reed

Posted
Posted

RE: The booking team gig.

 

TNA can suck the life out of even the talented people, so why bother?

 

Dave Lagana has his critics, but he's also a pretty sharp guy who at least has some idea of how the wrestling business works. But his TNA work has been mediocre at best. Why? Because that's what happens in such an inept environment where no one knows what they're doing and stupidity is seemingly celebrated. 

 

Also, does anyone want to be on food stamps?

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Tromatagon

Tromatagon

Posted
Posted

Those guys hired Tromeo to be the head of their online division or some shit. I approve.

Here's the story since nobody will know what I'm talking about

http://variety.com/2013/digital/news/endemol-north-america-taps-will-keenan-to-lead-new-digital-division-1200855139

Ehhhh if you see a bunch of access denied shit google Will Keenan Endemol and then watch Tromeo and Juliet you uncultured swine

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