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2019 HORROR MOVIE THREAD

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It can't be any worse than the last remake

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8 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

It can't be any worse than the last remake

Yeah, I'm thinking the best thing the ladies can do for the reboot is to not screw the pooch about Billy like the previous remake did.

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A separate article I saw said Cary Elwes is also part of the cast

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Oh shit Sophia Takal is directing, this might be really fucking good.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, jaedmc said:

Oh shit Sophia Takal is directing, this might be really fucking good.

The woman that directed the New Year, New You episode of the Hulu horror anthology, Into the Dark?

I'M ALL IN~!

One weekend I really have to binge watch Into The Dark.  I haven't even watched "Pooka!" all the way through.

Edited by J.T.

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13 hours ago, RIPPA said:

A separate article I saw said Cary Elwes is also part of the cast

That hasn't been a positive since Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

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He was in The Princess Bride. No matter what he's done since, that makes him a positive forever.

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Posted (edited)

The Child's Play reimage hits theaters this weekend and it is a fairly strong 66% at RT.

I expect it to sink like a stone once more reviews come in, but hopefully it will stay above 60% and still be Certified Fresh.

I'll probably take my kid to see it after work tomorrow.

Nightmare Cinema (81%~!!!) and Ever After / Endzeit (82%~!) both have limited releases starting today.  I think that Nightmare Cinema will also be available for streaming as well, but I am not sure which services will have it in their queues.

Edited by J.T.

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The more posts of Curt’s I read - the closer he gets to my Fowler list of “I was always feel the complete opposite”

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Well, we'll always have wrestling? 

What poisoned me to Cary was Saw. Ugh, he was horrible in that. But it wasn't that good of a movie either, so...

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Saw was probably a career low for him, performance wise.

But he was also trying to act opposite Leigh Whannel, which had to be.... challenging.

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6 hours ago, J.T. said:

The Child's Play reimage hits theaters this weekend and it is a fairly strong 66% at RT.

I expect it to sink like a stone once more reviews come in, but hopefully it will stay above 60% and still be Certified Fresh.

It slipped just below the line as of a minute ago, bouncing from 58 to 59 as I loaded the page.

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I'm down for Child's Play after reading the Ebert review (that's shorthand for his website of course). And speaking of movies that site turned me onto, Shudder has Knife + Heart featured as one of its Pride Month selections so that's gonna be watched this weekend hopefully.

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I feel bad for people who write for rogerbert.com. No one knows who they are. 

Even when their quotes get pulled for advertising it'll look like:

"Charlize Theron is a tour de force!" - rogerebert.com

I had that happen to me once and it drove me fucking nuts. The website didn't say that. I said that.

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Haven't noticed it but that sucks. Everybody there has their own style and personality and all the reviews are usually good. They certainly deserve individual credit.

Shit, if that drove you nuts (and I presume you too got paid for that review) imagine it was your main job and you got that treatment...

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11 hours ago, AxB said:

He was in The Princess Bride. No matter what he's done since, that makes him a positive forever.

How about his appearance on Seinfeld? "The Wait Out" Season 7, episode 23

or 1994's "The Chase" with Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson? I love that movie. I think Henry Rollins was the shining star of the movie.

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I'd imagine it's better than when the studios cut and paste a review to get the quote they want for a movie. You know like when the review says: "Steven Segal's performance was as wooden as you would expect, but the set design and stunt work was fantastic" and what you see on the DVD cover is "Steven Segal's performance....was fantastic"

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David Schow wrote a riotously funny piece on that, and blurbs in general, in Fangoria (collected on one of his anthologies).

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16 hours ago, J.T. said:

The Child's Play reimage hits theaters this weekend and it is a fairly strong 66% at RT.

I expect it to sink like a stone once more reviews come in, but hopefully it will stay above 60% and still be Certified Fresh.

I'll probably take my kid to see it after work tomorrow.

 

Honestly, this was a lot better then I expected it to be. It's different enough from the original it probably could have been it's own thing and not a remake. Brad Douriff is missed, but Mark Hamill does good work with what he's given. Defintely worth a matinee watch

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So...I saw Glenn Danzig's VEROTIKA tonight.

Yes, it is as bad and inept and insane as the early word out of Cinepocalypse promised. Yes, there are LOTS of scenes and dialogue where you can tell Glenn was being super-serious but the audience laughed heartily instead. The Room and Birdemic are still the high bar for “so bad they're fucking incredible” movies, but there are plenty of individual moments here that come damn close to hitting that bar.

There is ONE actor that knows exactly what movie he is in. That guy rules. Sean Waltman has a couple of lines in it too.

If you're a horror fan that likes blood-and-guts, there's some fun blood splatter during the third act. There are also 6 or 7 attempts at blood and gore that are pitiful and laughable. There are lots of strange artistic choices, and plenty of camera shots that just LINGER (RIP Dolores) and/or were shot and framed by someone who has never seen movies before. If you think JJ Abrams is a master of lens flare, wait until you see what Glenn does with it!

I really hope that all of the porn actresses in this movie – and there were a lot of them – got paid above their normal rates to make this instead of the perfectly good pornography they would otherwise have been shooting that day.

There was one scene that during the post-movie Q&A that Glenn said “the laughing in the audience stopped and everyone went silent.” That was NOT the case.

If you like your movies to have satisfying payoffs, there are none to be found here. If you are willing to settle for unsatisfying payoffs, there really aren't much of those either. But at the end of the day, I'll still take Glenn's earnest effort over coldly calculated “isn't it funny that this movie is so bad?” schlock like Sharknado.

WE DON'T DESERVE GLENN DANZIG.

I tried to keep this spoiler-free, but I can't resist sharing this one. So, SPOILER ALERT....

 

Spoiler

YES, there is a scene in Glenn Danzig's movie where a woman strips to a Danzig song.

 

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Speaking of Birdemic, which I've not seen, it was literally only this past week or so I realized the title was a portmanteau of Bird and Epidemic, and not some nonsensical thing about a bird with a microphone.

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*sigh*

Well, I shouldn't have expected anything less. The Daily Grindhouse review was nicer than you but this is what I really expected. In any case I'll be happy to sing for Teenage Martians again this Halloween like I have for the last decade-plus and just laugh with/about Mr. Cat Litter, Flip Phone, Expensive Show Danzig.

After you get around to watching The Dead Don't Die then check out this review; it's awesome http://oh-the-horror.com/page.php?id=2330

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Posted (edited)

I still have a soft spot in my cold and dying heart for Glenn Danzig.

He was responsible, or at least MOSTLY responsible, for much of the soundtrack of my younger days.

There was a time in the 80s that my family was vacationing in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, (that in itself is not a feat, as many Tennesseeans visit the Great Smoky Mountains) and while in one of the stores I found a cassette tape bin, and by bin I mean a peach basket with cassettes inside, and found a sealed copy of Samhain November Coming Fire.

At another store that sold airbrushed t-shirts of all varieties I happened upon a real Evilive t-shirt.

Not exactly the sort of thing you'd be expecting to find in little country shops in the Smoky Mountains.

Up until a few years ago I had a Misfits Walk Among Us poster (original) hanging in my office.

The last time I saw Danzig was probably his appearance on Portlandia, even that did not diminish him in my eyes.

TL;DR There's little that Danzig could do with Verotika that would dissuade me from viewing.

Edited by Travis Sheldon
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Posted (edited)

Since we're sharing, Collection I was my third punk album ever purchased (well, fourth because Slayer - Undisputed Attitude was technically the first) after Black Flag - The First Four Years and the Minor Threat discography. I've been in love ever since. 

I was one of the kids that heard Green Day and Rancid and said "not for me" obviously

Edited by Curt McGirt
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