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I had a great shift today at the charity shop where I volunteer at. The staff were happy to see me back, as I was them. First time back since my Dad's badly broken arm requiring major surgery.

I usually get to put the film DVD's in alphabetical order and by film certificates so 18 down to U. I like that. As a fan of films, you get to see which ones you rate and the ones you slate. You also know what others think like friends and Mark Kermode, my favourite film critic. You try to steer potential buyers the right way. By putting them in order, you get an appreciation for those who do that and bugged when people don't.

I also order the books from A-Z by author as well. I helped some people today find books and DVD's they were after. You feel good for that and hearing compliments on the job I do putting them in alphabetical order.

Just wanted to share this.

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On 8/18/2019 at 9:16 AM, OSJ said:

I am so glad that we don't really do Christmas. I've never approved of the idea of chopping down a perfectly good tree just for the cats to have something to dive into and raise hell at odd hours of the morning. 

We've been using the same (real-enough-looking) fake tree since 1998.

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I also use a fake tree. I'm allergic to pine needles. It's a smallish tree at that. We don't go overboard for Christmas. My immediately family is pretty non-materialistic. I like to think I am as well. 

Besides that, life is pretty good. The new job is going well. I had forgotten what it was like working with people that don't treat you like shit. I'm really glad I got out of the funeral industry, no regrets at all.

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On 8/16/2019 at 4:08 AM, Marty Sugar said:

So I've been working at the same bar for over six years: first as a bouncer and lately transitioning to server. As a server, I've had the issue with several longtime shitty regulars taking a run at me because "I'm not the bouncer," which has lead to some stressful situations. Twice now I have had customers attempting to fight me that are friends with one of my two owners, and said owner has demanded I be punished for mistreating his friends. The first time, he verbally abused me via text message and in person, to the point of outright workplace bullying...in the hopes that I would get mad so he could fire me. Delightful.

He's blatantly ignored the fact that both times his employee (me) has been thrust into dangerous situations caused by his friends, that have left other customers in a state of duress and have left them concerned for my safety...as I've continued serving them, while dealing with these ridiculous situations. Not to mention the stress it has put me under, as I've been "under the microscope" with everything I do since February, when this first incident happened: a guy's drunk wife was harassing me, long after close, and the couple wouldn't leave. I told the wife to finish her drink and stop embarrassing herself so I could go home after a 12-hour shift...and the husband (who is nearly a foot taller than me), barges over and asks if I wanted to fight right there. But I was the unreasonable one.

I've been told "one more mistake" and I'm fired (despite only ever having been written up ONCE in six years), and an incident on Tuesday was the second and apparently final straw for my owner: he demanded the GM fire me today. To his credit, the GM (a friend of mine for longer than the time I've officially been employed there), went to bat for me and refused to fire me...but now the owner has essentially said that if I make one more "mistake" (because defending yourself as a bouncer/bartender from unruly drunks is somehow the sober guy's fault), the GM might get the axe, too. SIX YEARS I have been busting my ass at this little dive bar, dealing with all matter of dangerous and stressful bullshit, and it was supposed to end at 3am today when my shift was over.

Here's the best part, the second and "final" straw was one of the owner's friends getting mad that I wouldn't make impossible food substitutions (as per the owner's rules), and he tried to fight me. OVER HAVING TO ORDER THREE TACOS INSTEAD OF ONE. As you might imagine, I refused to sign the second write-up waiting for me in the office after work, and demanded my GM tell the owner to severance me out for six years of service. Also emailed three local labour lawyers for advice on said severance, as the provinces of B.C. (me) and Ontario have different/better rules than the rest of Canada.

Fingers crossed.

I feel I need to update this somewhere, because I'm so stressed I'm gonna explode.

So both owners went on vacation the day I was told to be fired. The one that wants me fired still isn't back, and I'm not entirely sure he knows I still work there. I've been back since Sunday, and worked straight thru until this morning; I've got today (Friday) off, then back at it on Saturday for six straight shifts. Because, you know, I'm such a liability to the company that I work nearly every fucking day. The owner that is not demanding my head has been told I refused to sign my write-up and doesn't seem concerned at all. While my manager and my owners have read the complaints sent in by the customers, and they even watched surveillance tape to see the altercation, nobody has bothered to read the two-page incident report that I have filed in the Incident Book. When I asked my GM why, he said "don't bust my balls."

His balls are being busted? I have every staffer now up my ass, telling me how to do my job. I  had to stop someone from a dine-and-dash two nights ago, A FUCKING DINE-AND-DASH, and was told "don't forget to be nice!" Nice to someone who took off without paying their bill? This is how bouncers work? I had two customers walk outside with open beers tonight (against the law in B.C.), and while I was talking to them to get back inside or leave, the second-lowest seniority staffer ran out and reprimanded me in front of the two patrons I was already dealing with, saying "Aren't you going to deal with them?" You mean....like I'm doing right now until you interrupted with your bullshit?

Her excuse? "Well, they were just too much and I had had enough of them." Yes, but when I have had enough of someone (usually as it's about to explode in violence towards me), I'm automatically in the fucking wrong? I feel at this point, the whole place is just conspiring against me over every little goddamn thing in the hopes I fucking snap. And to add to the stress, my girlfriend is offering zero fucking support during this whole ordeal; if anything, she's just doing shit to make me angrier. FUCK.

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Holy fuck. Marty.  

The place where you work obviously doesn't believe in supporting its staff, but I know it can be hard to jet when you've got precious few options.  Do your best to bounce from that place and do your best to maintain the status quo until it's time to roll out.

I'm sorry to hear that your partner isn't being supportive of you.  I'm going through a bit of that myself.  I've all but moved out of my own house and I am still covering my half of the mortgage while my ex-wife's daughter (who lives with us and is going through her own divorce) is picking up my half of the bills.

I'm not paying for water and heat in a place where I'm pretty much not living anymore.  I insisted on paying half of the mortgage so I don't get screwed out of my fair share of the equity when we sell the house.

You are not alone in your life struggle, my friend.  Just do your best to keep your chin up and survive the weird times.  I can't tell you when life will start getting better, but I can tell you that it will.  I've started reconnecting with family and friends that I have inadvertently alienated since I started my relationship, and my kid and I are planning a road trip on Labor Day weekend to visit some peeps down in South Carolina.  

Getting to meet Austin Idol will be an added bonus.

I know you have daughters, man, so keep up the stern exterior for their sake.  Nothing resurrects a parent's resolve like the love and respect their kids have for them.  it will carry you through.

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11 hours ago, Marty Sugar said:

I feel I need to update this somewhere, because I'm so stressed I'm gonna explode.

So both owners went on vacation the day I was told to be fired. The one that wants me fired still isn't back, and I'm not entirely sure he knows I still work there. I've been back since Sunday, and worked straight thru until this morning; I've got today (Friday) off, then back at it on Saturday for six straight shifts. Because, you know, I'm such a liability to the company that I work nearly every fucking day. The owner that is not demanding my head has been told I refused to sign my write-up and doesn't seem concerned at all. While my manager and my owners have read the complaints sent in by the customers, and they even watched surveillance tape to see the altercation, nobody has bothered to read the two-page incident report that I have filed in the Incident Book. When I asked my GM why, he said "don't bust my balls."

His balls are being busted? I have every staffer now up my ass, telling me how to do my job. I  had to stop someone from a dine-and-dash two nights ago, A FUCKING DINE-AND-DASH, and was told "don't forget to be nice!" Nice to someone who took off without paying their bill? This is how bouncers work? I had two customers walk outside with open beers tonight (against the law in B.C.), and while I was talking to them to get back inside or leave, the second-lowest seniority staffer ran out and reprimanded me in front of the two patrons I was already dealing with, saying "Aren't you going to deal with them?" You mean....like I'm doing right now until you interrupted with your bullshit?

Her excuse? "Well, they were just too much and I had had enough of them." Yes, but when I have had enough of someone (usually as it's about to explode in violence towards me), I'm automatically in the fucking wrong? I feel at this point, the whole place is just conspiring against me over every little goddamn thing in the hopes I fucking snap. And to add to the stress, my girlfriend is offering zero fucking support during this whole ordeal; if anything, she's just doing shit to make me angrier. FUCK.

You're in Vancouver, BC, correct? If I'm wrong grain of salt with all that comes after this: You're in a city with more bars per capita than just about anywhere else (it's always been a toss-up between Vancouver, Seattle, & Portland). In the bar biz, six years in one joint, especially one as mis-managed as this one sounds to be is a fucking badge of honor. Start talking to people now and get the word out that you are looking, one thing I learned in my years in the bar biz is that the traditional forms of applying for a job don't work, you get hired by word-of-mouth and what we called "tap on the shoulder". Also, Indy wrestling promoter counts, maybe not for a lot with a lot of people, but you would be surprised at how much it counts for with the sort of people who own drinking establishments. Not to say that the normal publican is a jackwagon with too much money and too much ego and nothing constructive to do with either, but we know the sort of people we're talking about here. The sort of guy that loves showing up in his joint to buy rounds for the house on occasion is the same sort that gets wood by being able to tell his buddies, "You know the BC Heavyweight Wrestling Champ? Yeah, he's my new bartender, what do you think of that, eh?"

In the meantime, stay strong, stay mellow and remember, this too will pass.

Cheers, bro!

John

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For the past 10 years my Aunt has been bad off. Her mental issues got bad enough that she lost her job. She refused to get help. And I tried talking to her husband to force her to get help. He refused.

So I started calling her once a week to just talk.  Since I was a kid her and I have been close. What pisses me off is all the rest of my family lives near her,like a 20 minute drive tops. But none of them go see her,none of them call her. 

Well this last Tuesday I was over at a friends when I get a call. My Aunt has passed. Could be suicide or maybe not. I doubt her husband cares enough to look into it. 

It had been two weeks since I had talked to her. I had called but she didn't answer. Which happens sometimes.

The issue right now is my two cousins,her niece and nephew,are acting all upset over this. When neither of those fucks have bothered to call or see her in 2 years.The one nephew couldnt even be bothered to send this Aunt a thank you card for his wedding gift. 

The nephew ,who I haven't gotten along with in years,will be at the services. And right now the mindset I am in I am sure if I go I will cause a scene. So as of right now I am staying at home. 

I hate that I can;t control myself enough to fake being nice to a few assholes. But I also don't want ot cause a scene. My girlfriend has offered to take a few days off from work and drive me down. She thinks if she is there with me I won't cause a scene. But I know odds are good I will.

This shit is why over the past 5 years I have slowly cut myself off from that side of the family. The ones I want to be in touch with I stay in touch with. The others I don't.

 

 

 

 

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Posted (edited)

Wheeeeeeee, health~

Went to the doc’s on Wednesday for a number of reasons; constant fatigue, my depression meds stopped working, I think I have ADHD (it’s almost impossible for me to sit down and pay attention to a TV show or movie, let alone a book, a wrestling match, or so on)... I could go on. So he has me set up for bloodwork (did you know they can find your serotonin levels in a blood sample?), and a cardiologist appointment tomorrow to make sure my fatigue isn’t heart-related.

On top of that, I just have no energy or drive to do stuff around the house I need to, and the inability to focus is affecting my performance at work, and my supervisor is talking about putting me on a work plan (which is better than firing I guess, thank god for strong unions).

I’m worried I’ll go in tomorrow and find out I have heart disease on top of the diabetes, and that’s all on me because I don’t take care of myself. Honestly, if I didn’t have a family I probably wouldn’t give a shit and just let death take me whenever, but now? I’m still not so sure I wouldn’t.

Edited by Super Ape
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My father is now starting to go downhill during chemo, but wants me and family to come over to London for Xmas, rather than just me coming over in October.

Offering to pay for us all to fly over (~9k that he probably doesn't have, and I certainly do not).  Small sticking point - flat out refuse to do so if my pedophile uncle is there, which is proving difficult to arrange.

Trying to get local police involved to make life a little less complicated, and sending a few anonymous tip offs to his website full of young girls that do not look 18, but the responses have been really wishy washy, "we don't know for sure" type responses. 

On one hand, well aware its probably the one and only chance my daughter has to have a Xmas with her grandfather and great-grandfather.......but this is something that just isn't going to fly.

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On 8/18/2019 at 8:16 AM, OSJ said:

I am so glad that we don't really do Christmas. I've never approved of the idea of chopping down a perfectly good tree just for the cats to have something to dive into and raise hell at odd hours of the morning. 

They demand it.

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On 8/18/2019 at 4:15 PM, PB-13 said:

Been better, but my mental state is an eternal roller coaster ride. Just the nature of the beast in my head, you know? Promised myself I would keep the wrestling posting to an absolute minimum because, quite bluntly, I can be really stubborn.

I have my own mental junk, but this is basically the entirety of my whole family. There's over 100 of us combined through both sides. The genes spreads through us all to the point of absurdity.

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Well just found out that one of the cousins I didn't want to see isn't coming to the Aunt's services. He excuse "I gotta fly out Friday for work and need to time to pack." 

The plan right now I my lady and I are leaving tomorrow morning. Spending Tuesday night with my oldest son at his new place. Then driving over Wednesday for the services. Then leaving once they are over.

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, bobholly138 said:

Well just found out that one of the cousins I didn't want to see isn't coming to the Aunt's services. He excuse "I gotta fly out Friday for work and need to time to pack." 

The plan right now I my lady and I are leaving tomorrow morning. Spending Tuesday night with my oldest son at his new place. Then driving over Wednesday for the services. Then leaving once they are over.

Glad that you're getting to go and pay your respects. My thoughts are with you and all my board family that are going through difficult times right now.

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie

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2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Glad that you're getting to go and pay your respects. My thoughts are with you and all my board family that are going through difficult times right now.

Thank you sir. I know if I didnt make it my aunt would understand. The main person I didn't want to see is a person she wasn't happy with.

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I read all this stuff and I don't always know what to say so sometimes I don't reply.  But I want all you guys to know that al lot of folks are here for you if you need to talk, me included.  Shit's just really hard sometimes but it's not always that way.  Hang in there, my bros.  Generic post, sure, but I feel like we all need to hear, sometimes, that somebody's here for us.

 

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On 8/23/2019 at 4:18 PM, OSJ said:

You're in Vancouver, BC, correct? If I'm wrong grain of salt with all that comes after this: You're in a city with more bars per capita than just about anywhere else (it's always been a toss-up between Vancouver, Seattle, & Portland). In the bar biz, six years in one joint, especially one as mis-managed as this one sounds to be is a fucking badge of honor. Start talking to people now and get the word out that you are looking, one thing I learned in my years in the bar biz is that the traditional forms of applying for a job don't work, you get hired by word-of-mouth and what we called "tap on the shoulder". Also, Indy wrestling promoter counts, maybe not for a lot with a lot of people, but you would be surprised at how much it counts for with the sort of people who own drinking establishments. Not to say that the normal publican is a jackwagon with too much money and too much ego and nothing constructive to do with either, but we know the sort of people we're talking about here. The sort of guy that loves showing up in his joint to buy rounds for the house on occasion is the same sort that gets wood by being able to tell his buddies, "You know the BC Heavyweight Wrestling Champ? Yeah, he's my new bartender, what do you think of that, eh?"

In the meantime, stay strong, stay mellow and remember, this too will pass.

Cheers, bro!

John

Kelowna, just up the highway about 4-5 hours. We have a lot of bars, too...and have started that wonderful trend where dozens of little bullshit craft breweries pop up and every one has a patio and a half-assed attempt at a little menu to ensure they have one bar that carries their fucking swill. 

As for moving on, I'm so done with the bar scene. It's bad enough watching regulars slowly ruin themselves, but the overly pretentious and extremely self-entitled Kelowna crowd has worn me down. I'm going through the motions until I get fired or another job  pops up with actual benefits, since I haven't had any for over 5 years. 

Thanks to everyone for listening. It's never fun when you literally bleed, sweat and pay the price...only to have your boss inevitably stop appreciating said blood, sweat, etc. 

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22 hours ago, Marty Sugar said:

Kelowna, just up the highway about 4-5 hours. We have a lot of bars, too...and have started that wonderful trend where dozens of little bullshit craft breweries pop up and every one has a patio and a half-assed attempt at a little menu to ensure they have one bar that carries their fucking swill. 

As for moving on, I'm so done with the bar scene. It's bad enough watching regulars slowly ruin themselves, but the overly pretentious and extremely self-entitled Kelowna crowd has worn me down. I'm going through the motions until I get fired or another job  pops up with actual benefits, since I haven't had any for over 5 years. 

Thanks to everyone for listening. It's never fun when you literally bleed, sweat and pay the price...only to have your boss inevitably stop appreciating said blood, sweat, etc. 

The bar biz really sucks when you think about it. Unless you're the guy drinking soda or coffee at the bar (me), anyone that you recognize as a regular is committing suicide in slow motion. I don't miss it at all (well, except for the darts tournaments, but I'm retired now, I figured when Phil Taylor hung it up I could too.)

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My wife just returned from the drugstore with my pain meds. Either my doctor fucked up or the pharmacy did as they gave me double the strength oxy that I take for my back and knees. Yeah, I could take them back, then we have to get to the clinic and wait around for my doc to write a new scrip and then go back to the drugstore and wait some more. All of which we would likely do if our car was running which it isn't, that means sister-in-law Lynn would have to drive us and she gets cranky having to drive to McDonald's when I'm buying. So I shall just take these here 60mgs instead of my usual 30mgs and wait for hilarity to ensue. The wife-person isn't at all amused by this mistake, but she checked my scrips for Oct and Nov and those are for 30s, so no telling what he was thinking, (I can guess, as he was working with a young Asian third-year med student who was hotter than a pistol; but I digress...)

Anyway, this comes in handy as it is in the nineties and I need to start putting books away, only 80+ boxes, hardly an intimidating chore. I guess I shall begin with the "Brag Shelf" (stuff I wrote or stuff that I'm in. That way I need not worry about alphabetizing anything). 😉  The wife-person is being unwavering about her new policy of no action figures displayed in the living room. Some woman we don't even know, (sister-in-law Lynn's part-time helper) made a remark about "Why do you have all these toys when you don't have any grand-kids?"  and rather than explain that these "toys" are custom-made action figures that cost a pretty penny, Kathy got all embarrassed and said nothing. I suppose I should be grateful that her ban does not extend to the tin robot collection, fortunately, she thinks the robots are cool and great for conversational items, I remonstrate that so are the action figures, but she doesn't know who Commando Yank, the Hangman, Blazing Skull, or the original Daredevil were and does not seem to be interested in learning more about them; so the bookroom/office is going to be quite the sight when I get everything put away and cat proofed. Sister-in-law Lynn still hasn't taken home her two kittens, so we have four six-week old kittens running amok at all hours and I must ensure that nothing that they can damage is in reach. We're keeping two, (Spike, named after the original, who was the runt of his litter and extremely sickly when we adopted him in Seattle many years ago, Kathy figured giving him a tough-guy name might help... Apparently it did, as he turned into quite the little hellion. This kitten is fucking identical to him in all outward appearances and even more affectionate, which I didn't think possible, he's already demonstrated a propensity for sitting on laps, shoulders, whatever seems handy; Arya is just a mellow little sweetheart;) . y. Going to raise them as indoor cats which shouldn't be too hard with fall/winter just around the corner

OSJ 

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@OSJ Holy fuck, dude.  I hope you are okay.  You know where and how to reach me if something is up.

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@OSJ    

I know I don't need to tell you, as we both know the power of addiction all too well. Just be careful with those things. I was prescribed tramadol almost four years ago when I injured my back on a house removal. I took them only when I was in severe pain. Thankfully, as I've mentioned to you, pills weren't really my thing and heroin always scared the shit out of me. If you need to talk, you know I'm here, eventhough it's less than it used to be.

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Hey @OSJ - If you can split them in half, do so. I have to do that with Mom's muscle relaxants all the time. You've got a good head on your shoulders and kittens to snuggle. 😉 

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Bloodwork came in and wheeeeeeeeeeee type 2 diabetes is in full swing, fucked up kidneys and all!

They gave me meds to deal with blood pressure (and to treat the kidneys), plus a vitamin D supplement (for different reasons). I really don’t want to have to give up tasty things, Goddammit.

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Ooh, yeah, I'm getting there too. I'm already getting the "lose weight and eat better" speech from the doctor. I'm in my early 40s and the weight gain ain't fun. Gotta wean myself off soda and junk food and get more veggies in the diet...

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