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Raw Is Cruiserweight Madness - 9/19/16


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3 minutes ago, bink_winkleman said:

Cruiser match was indeed fun, but this needs to be on Smackdown, and the last thing Smackdown needs is Cole shouting "you won't see this on that garbage fucking shit show Smackdown!" 

I really wish Cole had said this. 

I also really wish Rusev/Reigns was a chain match. 

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The Cruiserweight match fun and a nice showcase for all involved. Not really sure why people are still talking about them needing to be on SDL. There really isn't a place they would fit w/o removing one of the other divisions.

Jericho was fun with his lists. I do wish the women's title feud was getting more time to breathe, but I enjoyed what was there tonight. Also happy to see Nia getting to squash Alicia again on ppv. Strowman's squashes are still fun for me. Looking forward to Roman vs. Rusev.

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If anyone has a problem with Reigns being in the main event now, blame Crossfit Crippler's inability to do a proper throwing power bomb.  Both he and Reigns were scheduled to take a secondary seat for a couple of months while Balor was established as the new Universal Champion.  They did pull KO into the main event, but that's just it--there are three guys who can consistently main event shows for Raw right now based on their current buildup. And the way this is heading, KO is going to be background fodder for the latest Authority angle.

If anything, Reigns winning at CoC probably elevates Rusev to the Universal title scene for a bit, once they get the eventual HIAC match out of the way next month.

Rollins didn't even acknowledge Reigns to end the show.  That was all about defying the Authority, which means HHH will hobble out at CoC and cost CC the title.  And that sets up the inevitable HHH/Rollins feud with Stephanie caught in the middle. 

Rollins'  "face" turn is sluggish due to schizo writing.  Two weeks ago, he's crying about being wronged by HHH and wondering if Steph has it out for him.  Last week, he's back to being a smug dickhole.  Tonight, he's essentially face but there's little explanation behind it.

Why would Reigns align with Rollins anyway?  Has Seth acknowledged being wrong for betraying Reigns and Ambrose?  Nope.  So if Roman told Seth to fuck off, it would be the correct response.

As is always appropriate in scenarios like this, blame Seth Rollins. (/saying sarcastically)

Y'all should be complaining more about the convoluted tag team division.  WTF is going on with that mess?  Don't know, not sure if I should care.  I honestly like the Shining Stars more than any other team right now.  At least they're consistent with their COME TO PUERTO RICO gimmick.

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This was the first time I watched all 3 hours of this show and it's probably the last. Jesus fucking Christ. This is torture to sit through. Saturday Night Live at it's worst is better than this crummy garbage. There was a fucking shot of Seth standing in front of Stephanie's door and Seth is look up at who the fuck knows what. Then he adjusts his shirt and goes into the office. THEN IT CUTS TO A FUCKING COMMERCIAL.

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. THIS IS WHY NO ONE WATCHES THIS SHIT AND WATCHES FOOTBALL INSTEAD. FUCK. It's 2016 and they're still doing this motherfucking garbage! WHY?!?!? How does not one motherfucking person in the back, Vince included, see this and think, "this doesn't like organic or interesting or remotely compelling." If you're an average viewer, and shit, if you're a hardcore viewer, why would you even bother sticking through the commercial? I can tell you why this shit keeps happening and it's because each one of those ignorant fucks is in the moment producing the show and no one bothers to watch it back. If they did, I can't imagine how this shit would persist. Anyway, if you stuck through the break, you were treated to Seth standing awkwardly in Stephanie's "office" looking like a fucking idiot until Stephanie walks in when the cameras start rolling again. WHO DOES THIS?! On a fake fighting show, the stuff that isn't fake fighting is the fakest fucking shit ever.

And you may tell me, "but this is how it has been for years" and I'll tell you that the Hulu version cuts out a lot of this trash.

Oh my God. And I kept watching to see Foley damn near kill the CW division by boring the shit out of the crowd as he fumbled through lines written on a note card. You could hear a pin drop in that crowd it was so quiet. Then they send the cruisers out to die as they do what Raw does best, have shirtless men stand around looking awkwardly.

Finally, I'm watching the main event and Reigns and KO are just recycling the same shit they did last week. AND THEN REIGNS WON, at which point, the crowd said "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this." YOU JUST GOTTA KEEP ROMAN STRONG! You can tell me that it was done to build to face Seth coming out for the save or to setup Rusev beating down Roman, but that's just dumb. First of all, to setup Rusev beating Roman you have to have your World champion lose? Fucking what? Secondly, Seth makes the save, looks like a face, and is just going to get dragged down by Roman's negative charisma. It's just layers upon layers of counterproductive bullshit.

Honestly, I've seen much of this happen before, so it's not like this is anything new, but sitting through the whole 3 hours really bothered me. It amplified just how bad it is and I totally understood why Raw is tanking hard.

Finally, they renamed the Bully Choke to the "Captain's Hook." What? For fucks sake, you can't have "choke" in a name? Is that it? The Captain's Hook sounds like some bullshit you'd see at Long John Silver. Meanwhile, Roman still has a move called the Drive By, so explain that one.

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The first 10 times I turned this show on it was a backstage skit involving Steph or Folley. Do they really think people want to watch that shit? Then I have to sit through Folley reading off a card before the Cruisers are brought out. Fun match with all 4 looking good. I think Alexander has a real chance to be a star outside the CW division.

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Eh, I think this their way of playing it slow with the Rollins face turn. Everything didn't happen tonight, but all the pieces were set. 

The end game is the cruiser division getting big enough to fill the first hour, while Reigns and Seth reform the Shield with Strowman and, eventually, half the roster, and every first hour will end with an awful beat down and 20 minute promo.

Finn's already got the make-up for the rafters gimmick.

 

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Oh my god. That was the other thing. Stephanie and Foley were all over this shit. Remember that first Raw after the draft where you barely saw either of them and then on SmackDown you saw so much of Daniel Bryan and Shane? Funny how quickly shit changes.

Ultimately, nothing on this shit show mattered. Going back to SNL, imagine how much worse that show would be if every other sketch cut back to some shitty backstage skit with Lorne and a writer, never letting any of the sketches breathe. Sure, you'll still get the one or two good sketches, if you're lucky, but who cares when it looks like the entire thing is a vehicle for Lorne and whoever he hand picked to share screen time with. That is Raw. Nothing matters and why would anyone want to watch this shit if nothing matters?

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8 minutes ago, Craig H said:

Finally, they renamed the Bully Choke to the "Captain's Hook." What? For fucks sake, you can't have "choke" in a name? Is that it? The Captain's Hook sounds like some bullshit you'd see at Long John Silver. Meanwhile, Roman still has a move called the Drive By, so explain that one.

Well, Roman's THE GUY. What's Kendrick ever done?

I know, it's dumb. Looking at twitter they kept trying to do a hashtag for it and every other response was "so bully choke isn't PG?"

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The Captain's Hook. Jesus fucking Christ.

EDIT: Actually, you know what, this is sooo Brian Kendrick. We've see the list of finisher names gives to wrestlers like Jericho. Kendrick looks like he just said "fuck it" and went with one of the dumber names.

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Did anyone else catch Cedric Alexander shouting out an obviously bleeped "SHIIIIIT!" after getting kicked in the back?  It was quite obvious because Michael Cole does not know what to say when something goes off-script (Witness a couple weeks back when Strowman's jobber said he liked "big sweaty men" and there was just dead-silence for a couple seconds after they cut back to Cole/Graves), and tonight was no different because Alexander swore, then it just went silent before Cole tried to get back to his notes.  I'd imagine he'll get quite a talking-to backsage.

The ending of this show is one of the dirt-worst things in pro wrestling over the last few years: where the show just ends in the middle of something interesting.  So Seth jumps off the cage, and glares at his opponents.  All four of them are locked in the cage, what's going to...oh there's the Raw logo, I guess it's over.  And EVERYBODY in North America does this now: ROH, TNA, WWE, I'm pretty sure I've even seen a CMLL or AAA show end this way recently.  At least have your announcer shout "Folks, we're out of time, check out the APP to see what happens!" or SOMETHING.  I hate it.

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Not everyone has a DVR or cable. I'm sure I'm not the only cable cutter. I'll usually watch the Hulu version or I'll watch the clips that go up on YouTube almost immediately. For whatever reason I thought I would watch this live from start to finish on an acestream.

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