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Ramsey

I'm too old for this shit...(OR "Back in my day...")

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So as a 41 year old dude, I've seen wrestling change from Gordon Solie interviewing Wildfire Tommy Rich in front of a plywood lectern to Total Divas and Adam Rose. Yeah, I still love wrestling BUT I'm starting to realize that I'm slipping past the target age demo and frankly, some of this shit I don't get and don't care to. So....with that said, fellow grumpy old bastards, what current trends or angles in wrestling don't you like or get MAINLY because you're old and pine for the old days.

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I miss squash matches.  I miss feuds where you watched in the genunie hope that the good guy would beat the bad guy and knock him down a peg or two.  I miss wrestling before the days of INZIDER REFERENCEZ TO THE BOYZ IN THE BACK.

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"These guys just wanna have fun and entertain!"

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"These guys just wanna have fun and entertain!"

 

Yep, this. Any WWE attempt at comedy where guys are like "Hey, man, it's great to go out there and give the fans a show" Yeah, it's just a shame that the show they want to see is pro wrestling, not embarrassing comedy theater.

 

In fact, any of WWE's ridiculous attempts to establish their own vernacular make me irrationally annoyed. Like, they've been saying "Sports Entertainment" for decades and absolutely nobody, not one person on earth, is going around calling it that. The WWE Universe, I sort of get, as an attempt to foster a community and sense of interaction amongst the fan base but that always sounds ridiculous in promos too because it's one or two syllables too many. "We are entertainments" was the latest one, right? What does that even mean?! I honestly think that, with the passing of time, WWE has done well to establish itself as something on the fringe of the mainstream, with a lot of the stigma being removed from it and their cringe-worthy attempts to eradicate the word "wrestling" has had nothing to do with it.

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From a kayfabe perspective...the point of a match is to pin your opponent. TO WIN. Not go out and have a "moment" or "entertain." Your moment is when the ref raises your hand in victory, schmuck.

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I'm not old, but I do think the invisible cameraman stuff for segments is a bit overdone. Just move out a few feet and pretend they're security cameras showing us things going on in the back.

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No blood and scripted promos make WWE a dull boy.

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I'm pretty new-school by this board's standards, but there are some modern things that bother me.

 

1. People "wanting to have a good match." Just pretend you want to win in 30 seconds, we all know the match is going to be a back-and-forth 20 minute affair anyway. I don't mind talking about how good the match was or even guys saying they know they're in for a fight, but it's so much more natural in wrestling when those kind of comments are used to put over the wrestlers, not to hype a match.

 

2. Everyone having a "real sounding" name. We need a few Undertakers, Ultimate Warriors, Stings, etc in this generation. Is the most gimmicked WWE name for someone debuting after 2002 The Miz? Kharma, maybe? (Edit: Obvious answer is CM Punk, even though the name was before 02)

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I could name 10,000 things but honestly, right now: lack of fat guys who can work, man-- we need this generations Earthquake and Yoko to step up.

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We had Samoa Joe from 04-06, although he was more of the Terry Gordy big, not Yoko big.

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If you're not on the main event-level or in an angle, it seems like the whole "want to entertain/have a good match" crap supersedes wanting to win.  Like, we all know you get paid the same either way whether you win or lose, but at least make like you want to win because it will put you up on the ranks for an IC or US title shot, or a match bonus.  Jae wrote a blog post about this that's in his sig and sums it all up better than I could.

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I feel the opposite about the names - I miss when guys had gimmicked but fairly realistic names with an instantly identifiable nickname attached. Jake the Snake Roberts, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Rowdy Roddy Piper...that sort of thing. It felt a little more like boxing (or modern-day MMA) - real guys with larger-than-life nicknames that gave some insight into their personalities. Then the Attitude Era hit and guys lost their names and started being referred to only by a goofy nickname - Road Dogg, HHH, The Rock. Now anyone with a nickname either has something way too generic (the Animal, the Viper) or overly written and goofy (Lunatic Fringe, One Man Band).

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We had Samoa Joe from 04-06, although he was more of the Terry Gordy big, not Yoko big.

 

Where are you, Joe? (Joe, Joe Joe)..... Samoa .. I want to knowwwwww

 

 

 

I'm drinking

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I liked Monsoon and the old time announcers talking about going to the "winner's pay window" and being a champion actually meant you make more money. It gave a logic to things...as to why chicken shit heel would take a match against the face who wants to kill him, and why he wouldn't just slide out of the ring for a count out. I guess it's along the lines of "performing for the fans" rather than wanting to win. If wrestling is pseudo fighting, I'm going to risk having Taker destroy my vertebrae to entertain some slobs like me? Of course not.

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I feel the opposite about the names - I miss when guys had gimmicked but fairly realistic names with an instantly identifiable nickname attached. Jake the Snake Roberts, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Rowdy Roddy Piper...that sort of thing. It felt a little more like boxing (or modern-day MMA) - real guys with larger-than-life nicknames that gave some insight into their personalities. Then the Attitude Era hit and guys lost their names and started being referred to only by a goofy nickname - Road Dogg, HHH, The Rock. Now anyone with a nickname either has something way too generic (the Animal, the Viper) or overly written and goofy (Lunatic Fringe, One Man Band).

 

I agree with this too. Not everyone can be The Undertaker, but a few larger than life characters can exist along side guys with regular names. The problem like you said is no one even has good nicknames anymore. There's nobody on the roster who you would readily identify by nickname or use their nickname in place of their "real" name in casual conversation (Jake the Snake, Hacksaw, Hitman, Stone Cold, etc). No one says The Viper when they talk about Orton.

 

Who actually was the last guy who got a nickname to stick?

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Man, fuck the whole faces and heels don't matter dynamic some people try to spew.

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I miss the days when a respected wrestling champion (Patterson/Bruno) would move on to color commentary. When I was a child, I was certain that when Hogan retired (funny I was thinking about this in 1987) he would eventually move on to become like Bruno and commentate on Superstars. Where's our new Gorilla Monsoon. A wrestler who can call the lead action.

 

Get Kurt Angle some maroon colored suits and it could probably work.

 

One thing though I wish they would change now is the whole "kayfabed injury" thing. It's supposedly the "reality era" so when a story like Dean Ambrose is going to film the new WWE studios movie is all over the internets on actual sites like Yahoo and Variety why come up with some dumb thing like the cinder blocks. If you have to come up with something, have them announce it and have Seth all jealous and he does a Nancy Karrigan deal and Kane club's Ambrose's knee. I mean from a violence stand point a pipe to the knee would probably be a lot less worse for the kiddies then seeing a guy get his face driven through a pile of bricks.

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Well, at 57 I'm definitely not the audience that WWE is shooting for (which is sort of goofy on their part, as I can throw money around like a drunken sailor if I want to). Anyway, I miss squash matches, there was a whole art to putting over the main guy that people like Johnny Rodz, Pete Doherty and the great Barry Horowitz practiced to perfection. I wonder how many guys would rather have a Horowitz-like career than the fifteen minutes of being pushed and then discarded for the next big thing as seems to be the mode of operation now?

 

Things I can do without:

 

Cobra Commander speaks truth... There is no reason for the "invisible cameraman". A slight loss of visuals in favor of the more believable "security camera" does wonders for not taking the viewer out of the story that you're trying to tell.

 

Announcers talking about ANYTHING but what is going on in the ring RIGHT NOW. There's no excuse for this, none whatsoever. There's plenty of time between matches to sell the network, John Cena shirts or whatever bullshit needs selling. Don't do it during the match. If you can't think of anything to say about the in-ring action just shut the fuck up. (And yes, Jerry Lawler I'm looking at you... If someone did that to you in Memphis, they'd have been out of a job and you know it. For that matter, so does JBL. Cole is paid to chatter like a monkey, but you guys owe some respect to your colleagues that are out there busting their asses to put on a show.

 

Of course, I miss the territories and even though I didn't get to see them, I loved reading about the wrestlers in different areas and it made for a total special occasion when someone that you had read about working the Midwest came to the Northwest for a short stint. By that same token I miss the idea of the travelling champion. It was great fun to look over the rosters of various territories and try and figure who would have the best match with the champ.

 

We'll never have the mystique of the territories again, but the other stuff is the sort of thing that I would expect someone as detail-oriented as HHH to focus on to some extent.

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Re-reading the thread brought up one more thing that I detest. Overkill by foreign object. What I mean is that I have no problem with chair-shots, they go back to the 1950s or earlier. I can see a metal chair knocking someone out or irritating them or anything in between. It's a very realistic thing to use in the fake fighting that is pro rasslin. Sledgehammers? Cinder-blocks? C'mon, the willingness to suspend disbelief goes only so far. If I were to hit you with a sledgehammer you would likely be dead, at the very least have severe injuries and I don't have HHH's muscle mass. Stomping someone's head through cinder blocks? The victim doesn't need a doctor, he needs a coroner. That stuff is so far beyond believable that you might as well have the wrestlers shooting each other with .45s. Once you get beyond kendo sticks and folding chairs you have entered New Jack territory and no one wants to go there.

 

Oh, and another mild miss... The judicious use of color. Considering the risks, I can live without it, but it would be nice if once every so often in a big match someone bit down on a blood capsule or popped on above the hairline. You really don't need to carve yourself up with a razor in order to get a little juice going. You don't see anyone in Hollywood carving themselves up like a Christmas turkey and there are gallons of (fake) blood being spilled. Why not bring the color back using the safe technology (capsule or baggie of fake blood) that exists? The only trick is to do it close enough to the end of the match as to sidestep questions about why the bleeding doesn't continue.

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Honestly, I think damn near the entire modern indie scene.  And this is new.  The mid-00's American indy scene was either amazing, or I hadn't outgrown it yet.  But every once in awhile I watch something with, say, the Young Bucks or whoever and I just don't fucking get it.

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Speaking of the Young Bucks, good lord people...give your thighs a break. Not every single kick has to have a snappy sound to it. You're wrestling. You're not in a Z-level kung-fu movie with a foley artist on speed.

 

Actually, not acting like you're in a kung-fu movie covers a whole lot of things.

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Re-reading the thread brought up one more thing that I detest. Overkill by foreign object. What I mean is that I have no problem with chair-shots, they go back to the 1950s or earlier. I can see a metal chair knocking someone out or irritating them or anything in between. It's a very realistic thing to use in the fake fighting that is pro rasslin. Sledgehammers? Cinder-blocks? C'mon, the willingness to suspend disbelief goes only so far. If I were to hit you with a sledgehammer you would likely be dead, at the very least have severe injuries and I don't have HHH's muscle mass. Stomping someone's head through cinder blocks? The victim doesn't need a doctor, he needs a coroner. That stuff is so far beyond believable that you might as well have the wrestlers shooting each other with .45s. Once you get beyond kendo sticks and folding chairs you have entered New Jack territory and no one wants to go there.

 

Oh, and another mild miss... The judicious use of color. Considering the risks, I can live without it, but it would be nice if once every so often in a big match someone bit down on a blood capsule or popped on above the hairline. You really don't need to carve yourself up with a razor in order to get a little juice going. You don't see anyone in Hollywood carving themselves up like a Christmas turkey and there are gallons of (fake) blood being spilled. Why not bring the color back using the safe technology (capsule or baggie of fake blood) that exists? The only trick is to do it close enough to the end of the match as to sidestep questions about why the bleeding doesn't continue.

 

The bolded part reminds me of JJ Dillon talking about WCW's use of foreign objects in the late-90's/early 00's. You had a guy the size of Scott Steiner repeatedly clubbing someone in the face with baseball bats and lead pipes. How does that not lead to death or at the very least, extreme disfigurement? And then the guy he hit would come back next week either no selling it or with some innocuous taped ribs/arm. We don't need to see a guy dropped from a car, bashed with a sledgehammer or stomped into a pile of bricks to buy that he's hurt. What about a chair beatdown, rubbing someone's face into concrete or a good old PILLMANIZING?

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Honestly, I think damn near the entire modern indie scene. And this is new. The mid-00's American indy scene was either amazing, or I hadn't outgrown it yet. But every once in awhile I watch something with, say, the Young Bucks or whoever and I just don't fucking get it.

Yeah, when I see a dumb Indy spot gif posted, I think 'da fuck? When did wrestlers think wanting to kill themselves (almost literally) to get a few dips hire to chant for them made for good matches. No wonder you could count the crowd in that thing.'

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I'm 41 and still love WWE, but...

 

- Long talking segments.  The most glaring flaw of the 3-hour era of Raw, imo.  I don't want to watch people talking this long on a wrestling show.  King Kong Mosca didn't need 15 minutes to break a water pitcher over Pat Patterson's head.  Piper's Pit never went nearly that long.  Say what you want to say and get it over with.  If you want to talk about wrestling, start that nightly studio show on the Network that was first mentioned back in January.

 

- Commentators ignoring matches.  I know that commentators have been entertainers since Ventura and even before, but at least they focused on the matches and the importance of winning the matches.  It's been mentioned before, but there is so little emphasis on winning that it seems like the only ones who care are those who bitch and moan online about someone not getting a push.  This should be the commentators job.

 

- Lack of style clashes.  Somebody mentioned this in another thread recently (and it too has been mentioned often throughout the last few years), but nearly every wrestler is the same now and wrestles the same way.  Where's the variety?  

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Regarding what was posted earlier, I was CERTAIN that Foley & Austin were going to be the new millennium version of Monsoon & Ventura.

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