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WrestleMania XXXVIII - 4/2 & 4/3/2022


Dolfan in NYC
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Just watching night 1. Was due to go to work but day care called me to come pick up daughter. Great timing, day off and get to watch Night 2.

She's been completely not interested in this show until Kevin Owens threatened to pour a beer on SCSA, and she's sat up on the couch next to me, looked me dead in the eye and goes "if you ever pour a beer on me, it's bum kicking time" before going back to building her cardboard box boat without waiting to hear my reply.

Feeling somewhat intimidated.

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16 hours ago, The Natural said:

New Day vs. Sheamus/Ridge Holland moved to WWE WrestleMania XXXVIII Night Two.

if New Day vs Sheamus/Ridge gets bumped off of night 2 too, then if they wanted to do a "Kofi snaps" storyline for some reason, they could combine the Rumble slipup, the Big E injury, and getting bumped off of Wrestlemania to have Kofi be angry/frustrated until something resolves that situation. Not an actual turn on Xavier either.

Sorta like if you have had a pileup of bad news and the next bit causes you to think about becoming Michael Douglas from Falling Down.

Of course they'll probably find a way to fit the match into tonight and it's probably a bad idea to have Dark Side Kofi.

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At a guess, Cody is the first challenger for Roman after Mania, doesn't win, doesn't get completely steamrolled, then ends up in a never ending quasi-shooty feud with Edge through to Summerslam. Rollins gets his win back by the end of the year, and by about the Rumble, no-one buys him as a credible contender. By Mania, you probably have him in the Stardust outfit.

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6 hours ago, DEAN said:

I used MENTAL COGNITION to watch the Rhodes/Rollins match (a mental cognition with lots and lots of anti-vaping ads) and that was really good.  My only criticism is that Seth Rollins should have been more pissed off.  Cody Rhodes strolls up after being gone for 6 years while Rollins has been holding down the fort.  This should have been a prodigal son match, and Seth Rollins should have been the son that stayed behind and ran the farm while Cody had the life of riotous living.  He doesn't punch Cody in the face until 20 minutes in.  Compare this to Dax Harwood and Jay Briscoe and how Dax got over his disdain for Jay by spitting in his face and flipping him off when he was bleeding and tied up in the ropes.  Seth Rollins should have made it a brawl from the beginning instead of just saying  things.  This was good, it just didn't have the level of sheer hatred that would been there if like Dusty Rhodes was involved.  But it was good.  

Seth Rollins is weak. Why is he weak? He lacks hatred! He likes to "wrestle" and dive when he should slap a schmuck like that right in his mush.

 

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3 minutes ago, Death From Above said:

Vince fucking up taking the stunner is the greatest moment in the history of our sport

We got possibly the best and worst stunner-sells in history like two minutes apart.

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“Mr. McMahon, you’ve replaced your own wife as the performer of the worst Stunner bump ever. Your thoughts?”

”At this time in my life I’m being called on by God to protect my family.” 

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Time to type on some matches from Noche numero Dos (a portion of this was typed during the McAfee match)-

Opening three way: Wild dive by Montez. Otis is shaped like a literal fire hydrant, which is novel. Lots of good times to be had. Gable Steveson got involved just to make Bix mad online. Excited for Gable vs Gable to determine who keeps the name Gable.

Omos vs Lashley: Omos is quite tall, but still wears a shirt. Another impactful vertical suplex spot.

Sami vs Knoxville: The camerawork not showing the giant hand until it hit Zayn made things better. Well, it wasn't Flair vs Steamboat. Imagine if Carrot Top decided to work a wrestling match with his combination of props and steroid usage. Sami and Owens are accumulating some "I owe ya one, pal" points this weekend.

Womens four way: This match had something for everybody with membership in at least one NSFW Subreddit. Kinda felt like a "get everybody a Wrestlemania check" battle royal, only in a 4 way. 

Styles vs Edge: The camerawork cutting to wide shots really made this seem a lot slower than it probably was. It probably wasn't bad. AJ lost because Damien Priest gave him the Evil Eye? It's like Priest was looking at a backstage monitor.

New Day vs Sheamus/Holland: Sheamus/Ridge/Butch appear to be off the set of the Stallone movie F.I.S.T. There probably wasn't any way for this match to not get crapped on for being too short. But if they didn't do it, that would be crapped on too

McAfee vs Austin Theory: Imagine if two rival fraternities had a dispute and had their two douchiest members fight each other at a FratBro Wrestlemania. I guess Theory+McMahon is more wholesome this way than if it was a young dude manipulating the old McMahon into putting him in the will. McAfee vs Logan Paul is the dream match for dudes who'd be interesting doing more wrestling but likely won't do regular work.

McAfee vs Vince: I guess Austin working a "lights out" match gave Vince an idea. Kinda impressive to work an entire match without doing a bump. Nice Scott Hall tribute bump by Theory on the Stunner. Vince's Stunner bump was slightly worse in 2022 than it was in 1997 but it was still better than Trump taking the Stunner. McAfee took a good stunner. Guess they won't need that canvas much for Reigns/Lesnar.

Lesnar vs Reigns: Why do the augmented reality displays of human bodies look like they're haunted? They played the hits. Man, do those crowd shots in the middle of counts seem distracting. Kevin Dunn directs these shows like he's on a crystal meth bender switching camera shots at a moments notice. Between this match and Lashley/Omos, it was a big night for shoulderblock/spears to the back. You see, managers are important for subtly cheating to get ropebreaks. Love that it sprinted quick from "hey, this submission move might do it" to "Roman wins with a Spear anyways". This match is the greatest "two dudes doing 2 moves to each other over and over until one wins" match that you could want. So who's going to try going for Reigns now? Lashley? (technically Lashley wasn't pinned to lose the title)

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So I really dug Lashley/Omos. That was high intensity and “Lashley carries the match with his natural charisma and emotion” isn’t something you’d see written much 10 years ago!

Jackass match was fun as hell. They blew the ending but who cares. Wee Man with the most over scoop slam since WM3. This match rules.

Pat McAfee throws the best punches in WWE and holy shit did Michael Cole watch his Rumble 94 tape 10 times and put in a five star performance in this one. Theory has a job for life after that stunner sell. This also rules.

Not as good as night one but both celebrity matches kicked ass. Pat McAfee is just the best. Pay him whatever he wants forever.

This was a fun two days. Just a good time. Props to the Dallas crowd.

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It was a good show.

Sasha broke her WM losing record, WWE likes booking like that.

Edge is with Priest now says the recent news, some kind of new Bood or Ministry is coming.

Austin Theory is the next guy.

Vince swerved me.

Roman is the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion. And Final WWE Champion.

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Austin Theory's comical oversell of the stunner was probably the best part about the show.

TBH, nothing was actively bad, it just felt like an episode of Raw with a bigger budget.

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4 minutes ago, (BP) said:

If I was with WWE I would simply reinforce the part of the barrier the super-heavyweights always spear each other into.

bringing back the guardrails is all fun and games until somebody gets their head stuck in the guardrail doing a spear spot

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