My Brain on Pro Wrestling - The End of My Career

[Michael Sweetser]

"Yet, thanks to my trusty safetysphere, I sublibed with only tribial brain dablage."

One of my favorite Futurama lines isn't quite as funny anymore.

So over the past year or so, I've been suffering from bouts of anxiety and depression, coming in and out in waves.  Issues with work and home life have contributed but it was definitely something out of the norm.  After urging from my wife and doctor, I visited the Amen Clinics in Bellevue this week to get treated for my ongoing ADHD issues and to get SPECT scans of my brain.  

What we found was far worse.

What you see in this scan is multiple, cumulative TBIs (traumatic brain injuries) in my brain, clustered in the occipital and frontal lobes, but in multiple locations.  Two scans were taken - this one, after I had engaged in mental activity, and one at rest.  (The one at rest looks even worse.)

In short, the bumps and head shots I took through my wrestling career have led to brain damage, and are the probable cause of my anxiety and depression.  Most of the damage is to the back of the brain, which makes sense, as that's what would be impacted by standard bumps.  There are a few in other places, and nearly all of them I can directly attribute to individual shots over the years.  One was hard enough that it not only caused damage on the impact point, but on the other side as well, meaning my brain actually bounced - that was from a superkick by Scotty Mac in ECCW.  (I did a promo line back then that I felt my brain actually bounce in my head.  Guess I wasn't imagining it.)   

However, like I said on Twitter, data is beautiful and knowing is half the battle.  Now that we know, I can be treated for it, and I began treatment this morning for all issues - I've started once again on Adderall to counter the ADHD symptoms, and on a low dose of Cymbalta to help with the anxiety and depression.  Cymbalta also helps with issues with pain and neuropathy, which I've experienced in the past year due to possible degenerative disc issues in my neck, and a shoulder injury suffered in 2016.  I will also be getting a volumetric MRI and a full spinal scan to help with those issues.

But it scares me what kind of shape the brains of my friends that are/were full time wrestlers and take far stupider bumps than I ever did will be in at this point, or five/ten/twenty years from now.  I was just a referee, manager and occasional wrestler, and I still ended up with noticeable, actionable damage.  

One thing is for sure - my wrestling career is definitely, definitively over.  I may do commentary spots or appearances of that nature here and there as the itch strikes, but I will *never* take a bump of any kind ever again.  This is my own decision, not the doctor's - I am medically disqualifying myself.  Unlike Daniel Bryan, there will be no comeback, and honestly, I don't want one - pro wrestling in this area has changed to the point that I had already decided to walk away with my sanity, finances and health as intact as possible.  This just makes it easier, in a way.

But to make one thing perfectly clear: I don't blame pro wrestling for this whatsoever, in any way, shape or form.  I knew what I was getting into, which is why I was careful about the bumps I did take (and the ones I *didn't*).  I wouldn't change a thing and I don't regret any of it (well, maybe some of the people I associated with).   You won't see me involved in a frivolous lawsuit blaming others for this.  Hell, 99% of it was my idea to begin with.  (I hate to pop everyone's bubble but nearly every fun angle, match and storyline I was part of was almost entirely my idea.  Sadly, that includes the dumbass bumps, too.)

I'd say this should serve as a cautionary tale, but it won't.  The new guys never listen to those before them that tell them to take it easy, just like those that come after them won't listen to them either.  But I know there's some current and aspiring wrestlers that might read this, so I'll just say - please be careful, and be smart.  And if you start feeling "different", or especially if those around you notice something different, please, seek help.  It's not there to judge you - it's there to help you get better.  I should've gone to the Amen Clinics months ago - they have been fantastic and both the doctors and I are extremely optimistic of a significant, if not full recovery.

I did more in my wrestling career than I ever would've dreamed possible.  I had experiences I wouldn't trade for anything.  It brought me out of my introverted shell and taught me so much, good and bad.  Without it, I wouldn't have moved to Seattle, and I wouldn't have met the woman that would eventually become my wife and soulmate.  I refereed a match with Kevin Nash in front of 1800 people, got punched by Ross Hart, booked guys like Christopher Daniels, Raven, Matt Borne and Fit Finlay for matches, was front and center in three fantastic stables and major angles, main evented in major matches, was carried out of a building kicking and screaming by a local women's tackle football team (Seattle Mystics represent), got to piss off more fans than I can count, main evented as a referee, a manager and a wrestler, transition for six months into a commentator, be the executive producer of a promotion and TV show in my own vision, had my own championship belts created (twice!) and even held two championships at the same time.

And guess what?  It was fun.  

[Ramsey]

Would you mind if I shared this post on my social media? I have a lot of friends in the Northwest Wrestling scene and I think this is some important stuff. Thank you for sharing something so personal and I'm glad you made the decision you made.

[Michael Sweetser]

1 hour ago, Ramsey said:

Would you mind if I shared this post on my social media? I have a lot of friends in the Northwest Wrestling scene and I think this is some important stuff. Thank you for sharing something so personal and I'm glad you made the decision you made.

Go right ahead.  Like I said, I don't want it to be a cautionary tale - I knew the job was dangerous when I took it - but I hope it gives people something to think about.  I certainly am.

[Ramsey]

Shared and thank you. Also, glad to hear you got proactive and decided to take care of what's important. Well played.

[OSJ]

Take care of yourself, dude, you're one of the good ones!

You know, as this 61 year-old man limps around on knees that should be replaced as the result of twenty+ years playing shortstop with guys far my junior and in better shape, I think about whether or not I would have done anything differently... Not a fucking chance! Grab all the kicks you can, you only make this scene once!

[Pete]

And here I was waiting for the "X-rays of Sweetser's brain revealed nothing" joke...

Seriously, what you've shared here is incredibly important. I've seen way too many guys in the business who can barely put a sentence together after years of abuse, including a few I'm friends with on FB. Also, I had a really bad concussion a few years ago, plus a handful of others from childhood into college that I'm 100% certain weren't diagnosed at the time. Your post a) is giving me PTSD, b) makes me want to get re-evaulated for some of them.

Congratulations on "graduating," Mike. As @OSJ said, you're one of the good ones.

[nate]

32 minutes ago, Pete said:

And here I was waiting for the "X-rays of Sweetser's brain revealed nothing" joke...

Some of us just got here, man ...

Thanks for that write-up, @Michael Sweetser.

[Michael Sweetser]

Believe me, I made all of the "no data/negative" jokes before and after the scans. 

[Nice Guy Eddie]

I'm very glad I never decided to try and persue wrestling, going the undertaker route because of wrestling.

Sweetster, thank you for sharing. It was quite informative. I wish you good health and nothing but the best in your future endeavors.

[tbarrie]

11 minutes ago, Michael Sweetser said:

Believe me, I made all of the "no data/negative" jokes before and after the scans. 

Did anybody use the "Do you deny that this is a sketch of the inside of your head?" line?

I've always loved that line for no logical reason, but have few chances to use it.

Godspeed, Sweetser.

[Gorman]

4 hours ago, Michael Sweetser said:

 

.   You won't see me involved in a frivolous lawsuit blaming others for this. 

I just wrote an article for Courthouse News about the concussion lawsuits against WWE.

https://www.courthousenews.com/wwe-knocks-out-consolidated-concussion-case/

Thanks to you and all the wrestlers who put everything on the line to entertain us. I couldn't do what I love without you guys.

[Ultimo Necro]

Great post and very informative. Hope you stay healthy. It really is crazy to see how much damage can be done.

I’m sure all of DVDVR wish you the best in your future endeavours!

[Marty Sugar]

Sorry to hear, Mike.  Take care of yourself.

[Craig H]

Sorry Mike. You're a good brother and I hope you know we all love you and only want the best for you.

[RandomAct]

I am glad you are getting out now, knowing all of this. I don't talk about it often here, but before I became a commentator, I had a 10 year career in the ring. I've always dealt with anxiety and depression in some form or fashion, but around 2011 or so it started getting magnified. Not coincidentally, 2010/2011 were years where I took some pretty sharp blows to the head, both from bumping, and guys who work a fairly stiff style. 

I would have never connected the two until you posted this honestly, and has prompted me to want to get checked myself. I wish you all the best, Mike. You're a solid dude.

[Michael Sweetser]

11 hours ago, RandomAct said:

I am glad you are getting out now, knowing all of this. I don't talk about it often here, but before I became a commentator, I had a 10 year career in the ring. I've always dealt with anxiety and depression in some form or fashion, but around 2011 or so it started getting magnified. Not coincidentally, 2010/2011 were years where I took some pretty sharp blows to the head, both from bumping, and guys who work a fairly stiff style. 

I would have never connected the two until you posted this honestly, and has prompted me to want to get checked myself. I wish you all the best, Mike. You're a solid dude.

I’m so happy it made you decide to get tested.  The SPECT scans I got (and that Daniel Bryan got) are not cheap but insurance can cover a lot of it, and it’s going to add untold productive years to my life.  It’s a down payment on me. 

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.  

[Spritenaut 32]

Good luck, Mike

[J.T.]

As a person dealing with someone with neurological issues, I totally sympathize with your plight,  Mike.  I will continue to pray for your good health and that you will have excellent quality and quantity of life from here on out.