Gorman

Probably to avoid Worlds Collide on Saturday and the Royal Rumble on Sunday.

Thoughts on Insurrextion 2000 (UK-only PPV) Too Cool got the better of the Radicals again, and Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko started fighting after the match. They hadn't been established as a team long enough to make the breakup mean anything. So much for Bull Buchanan's push as Big Bossman's partner, as Kane crushed Bull in a singles match in less than three minutes. Tori had the most successful performance of her WWF tenure. She interfered at the beginning of the Road Dogg-Bradshaw match, and Faarooq was ejected for retaliating. Then she distracted the ref after Bradshaw hit the Clothesline From Hell, and Road Dogg ended up winning. Never missing an opportunity to disrobe, The Kat flashed the crowd after beating Terri in an arm wrestling match. You can get away with that in England. Edge & Christian had a busy night, causing The Dudleys to lose to Rikishi and Big Show before using the bell to get DQ'd in their title defense against The Hardy Boyz. They had to be heels because the Hardys and Dudleys were so popular. At this point, the WWF was so stacked with talent that it could throw out matches like Angle vs. Benoit and Guerrero vs. Jericho on the regular. Angle won with the Angle Slam, and Chyna helped Eddy retain the European title. Less than a year into their WWF careers. Eddy and Jericho were both champions and battling each other in the co-main event. WCW never gave them that spotlight. With no Austin, Undertaker and Foley on the scene, the Rock gets the MVP award again for battling the McMahon family by himself in the triple threat main event against Shane and HHH. Gerald Brisco screwed things up for the McMahons when he entered the ring as a second referee. He didn't count fast! Rock rallied to pin Shane after the People's Elbow.

Thoughts on Backlash 2000 If it weren't for Billy Gunn's injury, we would have gotten Edge & Christian vs. the New Age Outlaws for the tag team titles. These teams racked up the most tag team titles in history without a real tag team finisher. If fact, both teams often won by hitting their opponents with foreign objects. Sure enough, Christian scored the win by knocking out X-Pac with the bell. Dean Malenko's "Iceman" persona meant that he never had to worry about playing to the crowd; he could just get over by wrestling. Scotty 2 Hotty hung in there with Malenko before succumbing to a TOP ROPE DDT. Hoss tag match No. 1: Bossman & Buchanan's mini-push continued with a win over the Acolytes. Again, Bull hit a big move off the top for the win. Kurt Angle continued to be bulletproof. Even though he lost in less than three minutes, there's no shame in losing to the Fun-Loving (But Don't Make Him Mad) Cosplaying Giant, the Big Show, who dressed as Hulk Hogan. Hoss tag match No. 2: T&A's mini-push continued with a win over the Dudley Boyz. The biggest story, though, was Buh-Buh putting Trish Stratus through a table. Eddy Guerrero went to the prom with Chyna before retaining the European title with a win over Essa Rios. Lita wasn't able to stop Chyna from interfering, but she did rip off Chyna's prom dress after the match. Chris Benoit turned in a great performance in retaining the IC title over Chris Jericho. Like Malenko, Benoit was able to get over with the "I'm just a great pro wrestler" gimmick. The Rock won the MVP by giving Triple H and Shane McMahon a Rock Bottom through a table at the same time. Ask me what's my favorite wrestling move, and I'll say "Rock Bottom through a table." Like Steve Austin, Rock overcame the odds of the McMahon-Helmsley Fac-gime to win the WWF title. Austin himself lent Rock a hand and shared a Steveweiser with him after the match.

Pursuit

Alex Shelley wrestled for us in the IWC in Pittsburgh, so those fans must have lost their minds to see his WWE debut live.

Thoughts on WrestleMania 2000 Ice-T's opening rap for Godfather & D-Lo Brown went on forever. Okay, pimpin' ain't easy. We get it. Bull Buchanan looked great as Big Bossman's new partner. He showed impressive agility for a big guy, but his lack of charisma doomed him to playing second fiddle to Bossman and later to John Cena. The hardcore scramble was a lot of fun and gave shine to several wrestlers. Tazz won the title twice. Viscera held it the longest. All three members of the Mean Street Posse got their hands on the belt. Hardcore Holly's candy-jar shot at the end was spectacular. Crash Holly tried to walk away with the championship, even though his cousin clearly pinned him before time expired. T&A was a cheesy name for a tag team, but two years later, someone said "Hold my beer" and gave that name to a serious national wrestling promotion. Speaking of cheese, Al Snow & Steve Blackman took out their frustrations on their little cheese-wedge mascot after their loss. They were supposed to be the babyfaces. Terri vs. The Kat was absolutely awful and the object was just to throw your opponent out of the ring. It was also the only singles match on the show. God bless Mae Young for doing everything she could to save the match: making out with special ref Val Venis, threatening to disrobe, and hitting the Bronco Buster on Fabulous Moolah. The Dudley Boyz get the MVP award for pushing the action in the triangle ladder match. The Dudleys, Hardys and Edge & Christian built on the Razor-Shawn ladder match six years earlier by adding tables and taking crazy bumps from the top of the ladders. This wasn't even the first TLC match! That would happen at SummerSlam. Kurt Angle ended up looking great despite losing his IC and European titles to Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho, who pinned each other to win Angle's belts. Angle protested that nobody beat him, and he was right. Pete Rose earned his spot in the WWE Hall of Fame by sending the San Diego Chicken to the ring to distract Kane and then trying to gain two years of revenge on the Big Red Machine (hey, Kane stole the nickname of Rose's championship baseball team!) And Rose would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for that meddling Rikishi. Eddy Guerrero alternated between flirting with Chyna, fighting her and running away from her. She finally caught him and pinned him. Radicalz definitely had to pay their "WWF dues" against Chyna and Too Cool. Mick Foley got a great sendoff as he finally main evented WrestleMania. Vince McMahon foreshadowed turning on the Rock when he said he was "going to make it right." The fans threw garbage at the ring as the heels finally won the WrestleMania main event after 15 babyface celebrations.

I'm sure the lady wouldn't want everyone to judge her, especially if she were wearing a onesie.

Thoughts on No Way Out 2000 Chyna was demoted to Chris Jericho's manager, but at least she got to shoot a pyro gun. Angle used the belt as a weapon to add the IC title to his European championship. Then the face-heel dynamics completely flipped. Angle spent the rest of the show celebrating with the fans before Jericho and Chyna attacked him and stuffed him into the trunk of a car. Mark Henry slammed Viscera to avenge an attack on Henry's 76-year-old pregnant girlfriend, Mae Young. The Hardy Boyz had a hard time keeping a manager. After going through Michael Hayes and Gangrel, Terri Runnels turned against them and caused them to lose to Edge & Christian. Tazz wouldn't stop fighting Big Bossman and Prince Albert, even after Bossman busted his nightstick over Tazz's head. Still, this display of Tazz's toughness didn't need to be on pay-per-view. I don't remember Paul Bearer being a babyface, but he was in Kane's no-holds-barred match against X-Pac. Give Sean Waltman credit. He was a great underdog babyface and extremely punchable heel twice in the WWF: first as 1-2-3 Kid and then after returning from the nWo as X-Pac. Eddy Guerrero wasted no time displaying his "lie-cheat-steal" ethos as the Radicals debuted on PPV. Unfortunately for him, Rikishi stole his lead pipe and whacked him in his already-injured arm with it. Big Show used Shane McMahon's interference to steal the Rock's ticket to WrestleMania. However, Big Show deserved the title shot. Not only did he have a visual fall on the Rock after the chokeslam, he produced irrefutable evidence that the Rock's feet hit the floor before his at the Royal Rumble. Cactus Jack earned the MVP award as soon as he lit the barbed-wire board on fire. After Triple H backdropped him through the Cell roof and the mat, HHH still treated Foley like the monster that wouldn't die. Sure enough, Cactus got up one more time before the final Pedigree.

They loved my work, but they had to replace me in the budget with better lights and cameras. I can't even argue that decision, because the look of the shows needed to improve. The office guys did commentary after me.

I am waiting very patiently for them to add the next four shows, which is my play-by-play stuff.

... who should be coming out to Snoop Dogg and calling themselves "Fin and Juice"

Thoughts on Royal Rumble 2000 Tazz ended Kurt Angle's winning streak, but that didn't lead to anything resembling a push... especially when the Radicalz came in shortly thereafter (no pun intended). The Hardy Boyz were always popular with the girls, but they also earned the guys' respect after the ladder match with Edge & Christian and their tables match win over the Dudley Boyz. Speaking of which, the guys gave Chris Jericho a huge pop for pinning Chyna in the IC title three-way, which also included Hardcore Holly. In the Rumble match, Jericho got a hero's welcome while the fans barely made a peep for Chyna. The Acolytes had a rough night. They lost to the New Age Outlaws after X-Pac interfered, and then the Mean Street Posse ran out to cause both of them to get tossed out of the Rumble. The Rock's pre-Rumble promo made it clear that only he and the Big Show were serious threats to win the Rumble. Sure enough, it came down to those two men. Rocky won, but Big Show ended up in the WrestleMania main event anyway. When Mae Young was wrestling in the 1930s, she probably never thought she would be taking off her clothes and winning a bikini contest 60 years later. The judges were so serious filling out their scorecards, but Jerry Lawler only looked at the first scorecard before declaring Mae the winner. Everyone gives Mick Foley credit for "making" Triple H in the street fight and the Cell match the following month, but HHH wins the MVP award. After cementing his backstage power with Stephanie one month earlier, he did not need to get busted wide open in order to keep his title. Instead, he went right through the fire by beating Cactus Jack in a weapons-filled brawl. HHH certainly earned his "Ric Flair points" here.

Nyla is going to get suspended again after she powerbombs the graphics person through a table for misspelling her name.

(throws grammar flag) Literally literally means literally. If not, there is no reason for the word to exist.

Aron Stevens was hilarious saying "belts" over and over because you can't say that word in WWE. It would be great if someone debuted in WWE and started talking about "wrestlers" and "belts" and "title shots" like they missed Orientation Day.