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[MOVIE] JANUARY 2016 DISCUSSION


RIPPA

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I haven't seen Blade Runner in 15-20 years. I've been wanting to revisit it soon but am unsure of which one to check out. Sounds like each version has its problems.

Really, all the non-theatrical-cut versions are pretty similar. Just go with the Final Cut, it's basically the director's cut with a few old visual mistakes and obvious goofs that've been subtly corrected in a seamless fashion.

EDIT: and oh yeah, you wanna know how to do a REALLY good "special edition" with a bunch of re-edits and new effects? Look no further than the director's cut of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. It's the polar opposite of the Star Wars OT special editions: all the new special effects are pretty hard to spot (unless you've just memorized what all the old ones looked like) and generally look better and more believable than the original effects. And even though it's a few minutes longer, there's been a bunch of fiddling done with the pacing so that it doesn't feel so bloated and endless as the theatrical "Motionless Picture".

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I completely agree with Redux. The French outpost scene was just fine by me, aside from the pointless sexual interlude. Matter of fact I can't imagine seeing the film any other way anymore. 

 

Now I"m trying to think of films butchered by the censors that had to be restored but I'm coming up blank

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I don't much care for the plantation scene, but I like all the little other added scenes, and, I mean, regardless of the relative quality vs the original cut, it's motherfucking Apocalypse Now.

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-Alien 3 is one where I would actually argue for the theatrical version being superior. For one main reason: the assembly cut is unfinished. Not only do many of the new special effects just look fake as hell, but there's something terribly wrong with the sound mix. Much of the re-added dialogue is muffled to the point of being inaudible or unintelligible. That's enough to make watching it a chore, but there's a few scenes which I thought were simply done better in the reshot versions in the theatrical cut: the alien's much more horrifying birth, or the extended version of Ripley's final martyrdom. And really, considering how relentlessly grim and hostile an experience Alien 3 is, do we really need it to go past two hours in length?

 

With two versions of Alien 3, you'd think at least one of them could get the matte and compositing shots to not look like they were done on a PC from 1987. Alien 3 has some of the worst shots I've ever seen in a major motion picture released to theaters. Some great ones, too. But god damn are the bad ones just absurdly bad.

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Count me in for Daredevil Director's Cut. I have no idea why any of that was cut because it all made the movie so much better and complete.

Studio wanted it shorter and quicker. They actually wanted it even shorter than they got, were hoping for ninety minutes. The documentary about the recut has the one producer, seemingly sincerely, saying "I still think the theatrical was the superior cut." (Paraphrased from memory.)

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Has anyone ever seen a Swedish B Action movie called "Wardog" from 1987?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092193/

They're showing it on B-Movie Tv (the ROKU channel) and it is insane.  It's supposed to be set in America and the Swedes do an amazing job of almost getting that right, so the American houses and shops and neighborhoods end up looking like little museum exhibits of what American stuff looks like to European hsitorians a hundred ears from now if the only surviving historical evidence of America in the 80s was BLUE VELVET.

The people dubbing it are clearly swedes doing therrrrre best Amurrrricaaaaan accents now jost stahp fookin arrrrooond ok!

In the first 15 minutes the cyborgs??? maybe??? reanimated vietnam vets?? maybe???? gun down a toddler, a little girl, and a gramma. With these huge squibs that make it look like their entire body is just exploding.





MV5_BMTk3_MDU2_MDc3_OF5_BMl5_Ban_Bn_Xk_F
As you can see, the tagline "The story of the tragedy of violence..." is both glorious in its slight grasp of the nuance of English vocabulary and utterly mysterious as to what the hell this thing is supposed to be and way too ambitious all at the same time.   The ellipses implies so much more than even that promises though... as if... saying nothing... says everything... about violence...

 

It is in some ways is an impressive attempt to make a Swedish John Woo version of The Terminator complete with slow motion and synthesizer riffs and a GUY JUST GOT GARROTED IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWDED SIDEWALK!!!

Okay, it's kind of like if a John Woo movie (the vampires??? all wear A Better Tomorrow sunglasses and many camera angles and shots and most of the music shots scream "tribute to HK cinema c. 1984-87) was partially played as a slasher, with just buckets of blood as these robots??? zombies??? brainwashed guys????? stalk and murder people (which is kind of how Terminator unfolded for awhile I guess).

Nevermind the fact that this

Screen_Shot_2016_01_30_at_8_29_11_PM.png

doughy pale sad sack who is about as intimidating as Tom Wilkinson's sensitive nephew is our action hero and he never bothers to try to suck in his gutOH MY GOD A GUY JUST GOT SHOT INTO A WATERSLIDE AND HIS CORPSE IS NOW CHASING SCREAMING CHILDREN DOWN IT AS THEY SWIM IN HIS BLOOD!!!!!

Ok, guys, just go watch this now. Oh, god the big bad is a Vic Tayback lookalike.  They somehow found the one man in Sweden is worse shape than their male lead to play his main antagonist:

 

Screen_Shot_2016_01_30_at_8_48_17_PM.pngClash of the tittyans.

 

HOLYS SHIT THE HIDDEN FILES ARE BEING ACCESED ON A COMMODORE VIC 20!!!!! WATCH THIS NOW!!!

 

Now it's turned into First Blood.  This freaking movie has everything. Like I swear John Milius' heavenly muse got drunk and lost one night in 1986 and fucked some guy named Sven Bnordstrromm and this is the result.

 

 

There is an Ecstasy of Gold standoff!!! complete with Casio-orchestrated Ennio Moricone rippoff score and ended with a rocket launcher. 

 

 

aaaand in the final 15 minutes this thing turned into something kind of amazing.  I don't want to give it away too much, but seriously.  Find and watch the first hour or so of this for the larfs and then just prepare yourself for the greatest shift in tone/plot I think I've ever seen.  You can kind of see it building the whole time once you know it's going to happen but

 

the whole seeming "main" story is for this doughy guy to rescue his brother from being brainwashed into a killing machine by Swedish Mel's diner.  And they go through that whole story.  Only to get to the epilog when they are back home safe to have the brother revert and the final act turns into a straight up slasher as he starts to kill everyone in his family.  Like, of course that's what's going to happen when you rescue your brother who has been brainwashed into becoming a killing machine and bring him home.

 

They drop hints before that during the escape where he is way more violent than he needs to be at times.  Then the music, the lighting, the camerawork all change to match the new genre.

 

Like, there's almost a pretty actually good point about, like, PTSD or something buried in this. Kind of like the whole point of First Blood about turning people into killing machines and then rejecting them when they can't fit bacck into society...but way more exploitive.

 

It turns out that tagline was right on and I was a douche for making fun of it. This is literally the story of the tragedy of violence...

 

Guys, I think this may be one of the the most important films of all time and I would like to nominate it for DVDVR OFFICIAL BEST PICTURE  OF 1987 IN 2016.

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That is the Reb Browniest movie I've ever seen which didn't actually feature Reb Brown. Also, I almost felt bad at enjoying that clip, simply because of how ludicrously huge those squibs were. Even veteran stuntmen will frequently bitch about how normal squibs are shockingly painful; these goddamn things here look like someone dropped a hand grenade into a gallon jug of Hawaiian Punch. I mean, this seriously might count as child abuse, with those little kids being subjected to explosions so goddamn huge that their clothes were literally being blown right off their bodies.

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I added "B-Movie TV," and I'm caught up in "Firepower" (1993), starring Warrior "Ultimate Warrior" Warrior himself, neé Jim Hellwig as "The Swordsman."

In short, thanks piranesi.

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The first day I added it I saw RAW FORCE, CITY OF THE DEAD, and ROLLER-BLADE WARRIORS.

 

I don't know how they stay in business.  But it's my first stop every time I sit down to watch t.v. now.  The schedule is "hinted' at on the facebook page every day.  And the movies always start at the top of even-numbered hours with filler in between (sometimes a lot as some of these movies barely clock 80 minutes).

 

I know there are a lot of grindhouse "on demand" channels, but for some reason I prefer a live-stream rather than on-demand.  It may be a generational thing.  But I always gravitate toward B move tv and Crypt TV for their live channel because I always grew up just watching whatever popped up.

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