NFL 2013: WEEK 3

[Zac_Fu]

Jesus I love watching Peyton work his offense. Conducts it like an orchestra.

[Big Z]

They did it to Forte too.

 

And Forte had one above average season before being franchised. I am surprised that he mostly kept up his strong play since getting paid, but again do not blame the Bears for making Forte prove it. He proved it in 2011, and got paid afterward.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

You're getting in the way of the narrative here.

[Travis Sheldon]

Phantom Offensive Pass Interference flag on the Raiders.

I think that's about 5 flags on them in the first 6 minutes of the game.

[muhammedboehm]

So is Mile High set up differently then other stadiums or is ESPN making it easier to here the players on the field cause after that punt I heard a Donkey scream out in pain. And I know we can her Payten and his calls

[Zac_Fu]

I was noticing that too. You can really hear the on-field audio really well.

[Death From Above]

Raiders best hope: Broncos running into each other at inopportune moments.

 

Also wow at that 15 Raiders QB graphic. That's... something.

[Josh Mann]

Oh see, that TD just pissed Peyton off.

Who the hell taught these Raider DBs to tackle? Lester Hayes is cry.

[Attila The Hut]

OK, if the Redskins can't beat the Raiders next week, just shut down the season.

[JRGoldman]

If you had asked me before the game if Jim Bob Cooter was Peyton's private QB coach or a a proposed character that was related to the Godwin's thought up by Vince McMahon, I don't know what I would have answered.

[Death From Above]

Peyton's early season TD record is nice but man, against a disjointed and dreadful Ravens opening on the road at Mile High, the Giants, and the Raiders might be the softest possible path through the soft. It's gonna be great when the media acts all ~shocked~ when he slows down against competition offering resistance.

[Zac_Fu]

If you had asked me before the game if Jim Bob Cooter was Peyton's private QB coach or a a proposed character that was related to the Godwin's thought up by Vince McMahon, I don't know what I would have answered.

 

Hell, I'd almost expect a guy named Jim Bob Cooter to be coming out with Bray Wyatt.

[Brian Fowler]

Peyton will obviously slow down (I mean, he was on pace for 112 td passes after week one) but if he keeps padding it against the cupcakes, maybe he can make a serious run at taking the single season record back from Tom Terrific.

[Death From Above]

Honestly if you look at their schedule, how many danger games do they really have?

 

Sep 5 Baltimore Won 49-27  

Sep 15 @N.Y. Giants Won 41-23  

Sep 23 Oakland 8:40 pm      

Sep 29 Philadelphia 4:25 pm      

Oct 6 @Dallas 4:25 pm      

Oct 13 Jacksonville 4:05 pm      

Oct 20 @Indianapolis 8:30 pm      

Oct 27 Washington 4:25 pm      

Week 9 BYE        

Nov 10 @San Diego 4:25 pm      

Nov 17 Kansas City 4:05 pm      

Nov 24 @New England 8:30 pm      

Dec 1 @Kansas City 1:00 pm      

Dec 8 Tennessee 4:05 pm      

Dec 12 San Diego 8:25 pm      

Dec 22 @Houston 1:00 pm      

Dec 29 @Oakland 4:25 pm      

All times are Eastern

 

At Indianapolis, maybe. At KC, maybe, though I don't know if I buy that. At New England certainly. At Houston maybe if Houson's offense shows up. Possibly Philip Rivers does something goofy and makes a fight of it. But really... individual records aren't the only thing they have a shot at, if you follow what I'm saying.

[Big Z]

Love the current Bears brain trust, and they have done a good job of rejuvenating a team that had two offensive pieces and an aging defense when they got there. The defense will be a gradual and slow rebuild, but now they have a built a solid enough offense to at least remain respectable while the D is rebuilt. 

[muhammedboehm]

Those last 5 games cause they could already have 1st in the West AND AFC locked up

[hammerva]

OK, if the Redskins can't beat the Raiders next week, just shut down the season.

 

Shut down the season because it can't get any more awesome

[The Erotic Terrorist]

As pointed out on my Twitter feed - the best part of that story is that TMZ misspelled Ravens in the URL

 

RAVINS~!

 

Well, it looked like the people on the party bus were having a ravin' good time before all the fighting started. But yeah, that is one of many reasons why I have issues with that website.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of shit's been happening to NFL players for decades. Maybe not with such great names.

 

That would not be a surprise to me at all.

 

The Deadspin version of this story pointed out McKinnie's past with strippers, including him being sued for $375,000 for unpaid strip club bills.  How on earth do you end up owing a strip club $375,000?  How do they allow you to leave after you don't pay your $375,000 tab?

 

Hearing that, I am not surprised something of that sort would happen last night. I was amused to be reminded he was part of the Vikings boat sex scandal.

 

If you had asked me before the game if Jim Bob Cooter was Peyton's private QB coach or a a proposed character that was related to the Godwin's thought up by Vince McMahon, I don't know what I would have answered.

 

As if his name wasn't great enough, looking him up on Google, I came across this great story from '09, where he apparently got wasted one night, broke into a random house, stripped to his skivvies, and went to bed with the lady of the house.

 

Discussion of that, the Lake Minnetonka stuff, and attacks by strippers named Sweet Pea are sure as heck more interesting than this game.

[Charlie M.]

Does anyone have a count on how much money Matt Flynn has actually been paid the last two years?

[Brian Fowler]

Enough to really make me wish I was an NFL qb.

[Brian Fowler]

Also, jesus christ, Manning is 30-35.  People will call it video game numbers, but I can't do that unless it's on the rookie setting.

[Ryan]

That's basically the Raiders defense. Does it count as NFL news that Keyshawn was voted off that stupid DWTS show?

[Burgundy LaRue]

Keyshawn must have really stunk as a dancer.  Lawrence Taylor couldn't be bothered to care the season he did it and even he stuck around almost midway.  Keyshawn is so going to get ragged on by the other football guys who have been on the show and have done well.

[pipGofern]

Wide receivers seem to be hit or miss on that show, tho. Jerry Rice and Ocho were stiff and awful while Donald Driver and Hines Ward won the coveted Mirror Balls.

 

Look at what Peyton's utter brilliance has reduced us to!!! At least give the other team a hope spot, Manning!

[bink_winkleman]

Honestly if you look at their schedule, how many danger games do they really have?

Sep 5 Baltimore Won 49-27 Sep 15 @N.Y. Giants Won 41-23 Sep 23 Oakland 8:40 pm Sep 29 Philadelphia 4:25 pm Oct 6 @Dallas 4:25 pm Oct 13 Jacksonville 4:05 pm Oct 20 @Indianapolis 8:30 pm Oct 27 Washington 4:25 pm Week 9 BYE Nov 10 @San Diego 4:25 pm Nov 17 Kansas City 4:05 pm Nov 24 @New England 8:30 pm Dec 1 @Kansas City 1:00 pm Dec 8 Tennessee 4:05 pm Dec 12 San Diego 8:25 pm Dec 22 @Houston 1:00 pm Dec 29 @Oakland 4:25 pm All times are Eastern

At Indianapolis, maybe. At KC, maybe, though I don't know if I buy that. At New England certainly. At Houston maybe if Houson's offense shows up. Possibly Philip Rivers does something goofy and makes a fight of it. But really... individual records aren't the only thing they have a shot at, if you follow what I'm saying.

It's all leading up to another glorious Manning Face Fiesta when they shit the bed in the playoffs and shock every moron on ESPN that didn't notice they'd been playing the Generals all season. I really can't wait.