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SEPT 2016 MOVIE DISCUSSION THREAD

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1 hour ago, Reed said:

OK, not calling The Phantom Menace great exactly...but....

Darth Maul was terrific. A truly creepy villain. And I liked seeing Obi Wan come of age. There's something kinda sad about the way he keeps telling Jinn: "But I don't trust Anakin." And Jinn doesn't listen. Obi Wan knew all along something was wrong. Then at the end, Jinn makes him promise to take care of the kid. And poor Obi Wan: He can't betray a death bed promise, can he?  

Then he spends the next two films slowly, horrifically realizing: "Fuck, I was right, wasn't I? I should have sent the kid back to his mom."

As a film, it never quite gets over the awfulness of Jar Jar, young Anakin or the Trade Federation storyline (man, I still don't know what that shit was about) but I don't think it's the disaster it's portrayed as.

I find it rather compelling in places. It's better than Attack of the Clones anyway. Oh, and the doors sliding open to reveal a hooded Darth Maul waiting to murder everyone is still one of the best Star Wars moments ever. 

Oh yeah, for sure there are pieces of what could have been a good movie in there had it been in another set of hands.  The things you pointed out are absolutely the high points. 

The "Trade Federation" plot was a steaming pile of shit and nobody can tell me there was no better way to explain Palpatine's rise to power.  I mean, it's cool to see political intrigue and the backroom gamesmanship that comes with it, but it goes together with a Star Wars movie like a turd in your burrito.  When the hero blasts the villain with "looks like your trade franchise is finished!" to end the film, you know something went horribly wrong somewhere along the line.

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The photography in Episode 1 was pure garbage as well. That's to be expected since everything was CG, but man was it bad. That's another reason why the prequels were so much worse than the original trilogy. They're shot in such a shitty way and it makes them feel totally disconnected with anything that came before.

That's another reason why I loved TFA as much as I did. 

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When I watched the prequels again last year I thought Phantom Menace totally deserved its rep, but Attack of the Clones was much better than I remember. I liked the film noir stuff with Obi Wan and the romance worked enough for me. It does have a CGI character so silly and cartoonish that it took me right out of the movie and had me in hysterics. I can't even find a picture, but he's at the table of villains that I think Dooku meets with, and he kind of looked like a Dick Tracy villain.

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The retconning bullshit is why I hate Attack of the Clones more than Phantom Menace.  Artoo just sprouts gimmicks at his convenience. 

If the little fucker can fly in Clones, then why is everyone freaking out so much in Jedi when Han is about to fall into the Sarlacc pit?  Just send Artoo out there to save his ass.

Darth Maul is about the only thing I can stand about Phantom Menace.   The Trade Federation must have the worst ship engineers in the galaxy.   Who the fuck puts the main reactor so close to the hangar that some fucking kid can just eyeball the target and shoot proton torpedoes at it?

I've ranted about this before... y'know.... in that Star Wars thread we already have. :)

 

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TIL that the romance in AotC worked for one person.

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Elevator Pitch: Rogue One-style Back to the Future preboot about Doc stealing the plutonium from the Libyans.  

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Wait, was Attack of the Clones the one with the Anakin/Padme romance montage, where horrible CG Anakin surfs a horribly CG'd animal and uses his force powers to...cut some fruit (and the size of the slices changes mid-shot because of poor quality control)? 

Because that movie was dog shit too.  And as @J.T. mentioned, R2 being able to fucking FLY but never being able to again was the dirt worst. 

Revenge of the Sith was the best of the prequels but that is the very definition of damning with faint praise.  I mean, I'd rather be kicked in the balls than be shot or stabbed.

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Nah. That all happens in the days before Marty goes back in time. You'd have to get someone who looks like Christopher Lloyd then and that just isn't possible. 

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15 minutes ago, Craig H said:

Nah. That all happens in the days before Marty goes back in time. You'd have to get someone who looks like Christopher Lloyd then and that just isn't possible. 

Christopher Lloyd aside, you could totally have time travel in it. Doc could travel back to give himself the Mr. Fusion generator because he's dying from prolonged exposure to the plutonium. He screws up the time stream or gets trapped there and has to enlist that version of Marty and Doc to help out. Plus, we learn that Doc actually met and knew John De Lorean and runs afoul of both cocaine dealers and the FBI.

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31 minutes ago, Technico Support said:

Revenge of the Sith was the best of the prequels but that is the very definition of damning with faint praise.

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL~!  says the child killer.  Fuck all of the dialogue in those crappy prequels.

Revenge of the Sith gets a slight pass from me for having two badass saber fights in one movie.  Yoda was fucking metal and Obi-Wan vs Anakin was king sized.

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7 minutes ago, (BP) said:

Christopher Lloyd aside, you could totally have time travel in it. Doc could travel back to give himself the Mr. Fusion generator because he's dying from prolonged exposure to the plutonium. He screws up the time stream or gets trapped there and has to enlist that version of Marty and Doc to help out. Plus, we learn that Doc actually met and knew John De Lorean and runs afoul of both cocaine dealers and the FBI.

Considering Doc's general demeanor, cocaine would explain so much.

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1 minute ago, J.T. said:

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL~!  says the child killer.  Fuck all of the dialogue in those crappy prequels.

quote-to-george-lucas-about-ford-s-lines

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I still like the Back to the Future idea mentioned on Screen Junkies some months ago. Basically, do a Back to the Future/Rick and Morty animated movie. 

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Ewan McGregor's performance in the prequels is still outstanding. 

Obi Wan did try with Anakin. He really did.  But he was always a bit cautious around him.

Then he sees what Anakin did to the younglings. So he fucking de-limbs the guy and coldly, calmly walks away in the lava and leaves him there to suffer and die. 

Sets up the scene nicely for A New Hope. 

 

  

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Attack of the Clones is so fucking bad. Like worse than some of Michael Bay's Transformers movies bad.

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9 hours ago, J.T. said:

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL~!  says the child killer.  Fuck all of the dialogue in those crappy prequels.

Revenge of the Sith gets a slight pass from me for having two badass saber fights in one movie.  Yoda was fucking metal and Obi-Wan vs Anakin was king sized.

Plus Revenge is the only one of the bunch with a lot of screen time for the villians. It has its problems, but at least FEELS like a star wars movie. Plus the initial space fight is epic.. . .

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I remember so little of prequels. Time and Clone Wars really helped me forget how bad some of this stuff was. Its nice that I have all of you here to remind me.

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On 21-9-2016 at 8:38 PM, J.T. said:

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL~!  says the child killer.  Fuck all of the dialogue in those crappy prequels.

Revenge of the Sith gets a slight pass from me for having two badass saber fights in one movie.  Yoda was fucking metal and Obi-Wan vs Anakin was king sized.

 

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On 9/21/2016 at 11:15 PM, Brian Fowler said:

Attack of the Clones is so fucking bad. Like worse than some of Michael Bay's Transformers movies bad.

You know Hayden Christensen's career never truly recovered from it.

A shame. Because he isn't a bad actor. 

 

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On September 21, 2016 at 9:56 AM, Reed said:

Christ, man. Has any Hollywood marriage ever lasted?

Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman, I guess. 

But that's one of the only examples I can think of. 

The low profile ones seem to have a better chance.

For instance, Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates have been married for 27 years now.

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This quasi works but Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones have been married for almost 30 years

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