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Posted

I skipped right to Bo Dallas running out after Rollins beat Swagger (I didn't watch that match). It's hysterical. Bo Dallas wants to become the new "American Sweetheart." That is so, so, so great.

Posted

JBL's joke about Rowan and Harper showing up at a gym has me convinced that Planet Fitness should do an ad with those two and have someone having to look at the machine they're waiting to use when Harper gets off in his scuzzy wifebeater. 

Posted

I thought Smackdown was a really tight show this week, nothing was less than watchable and it made for fun TV that breezed by. Surprised to see Miz job out that quickly, but the following brawl was great, as was the Randy decimation of RVD. Swagger/Rollins and Wyatts/Rhodes Bros were damn good TV matches, and both Sin Cara/Rusev and Natalya/Paige were fine fare too. Tom Phillips wasn't bad on commentary either, he slipped on names a couple of times, but he wasn't instantly buried by JBL so that's something. JBL made a good point in the opener about Swagger doing the Swagger Bomb out of instinct and adrenaline, so I'd chalk tonight up as a minor commentary win too. Randy took that Superman punch like a pro to close the show.

Posted

 

I'm a bit disappointed that Rollins and Kane basically murdered a dude and it's just being treated as just another beatdown. That combined with Cena coming back to face Brock again at Night of Champions, and there's whole lot of underselling going on.

 

It's really gotten to the point where nothing matters in WWE. Wins and losses, titles, and now 'injuries'.

 

 

I laugh my ass off every time I hear them say "John Cena is now a fifteen time World Champion" as if his number of reigns is even close to being comparable to say Ric Flair's sixteen times.

 

The way the title changes hands now...there is no comparison to the "old school" days. Title reigns meant something back then. Now...outside of Punk's 434 days...not so much.

Posted

 

 

I'm a bit disappointed that Rollins and Kane basically murdered a dude and it's just being treated as just another beatdown. That combined with Cena coming back to face Brock again at Night of Champions, and there's whole lot of underselling going on.

 

It's really gotten to the point where nothing matters in WWE. Wins and losses, titles, and now 'injuries'.

 

 

I laugh my ass off every time I hear them say "John Cena is now a fifteen time World Champion" as if his number of reigns is even close to being comparable to say Ric Flair's sixteen times.

 

The way the title changes hands now...there is no comparison to the "old school" days. Title reigns meant something back then. Now...outside of Punk's 434 days...not so much.

 

 

Cena will likely retire a 25 time champion...

Posted

I can see Cena making it to 16.

 

Then one night on Raw when he starts to run down the ramp, he'll just split in half like an old GI Joe figure with a broken rubber band.  Everything above the waist will go rolling down the ramp while his crotch and legs stay at the top.

 

Everyone will look on in shock.  Women will be crying.  Kids will be horrified.  Nikki Bella will sneak in and steal his crotch piece or as it's called medically, his jortus apparatus.

 

Thus ends his 16th championship reign.  It'll be the end of an era.

  • Like 2
Posted

And besides, Nikki will give his "crotch piece" to Vince, who will use it to grow a clone.  They'll speed up the clone's aging process, so he'll be 30 or so and ready in time for WrestleMania.

Posted

Well, yeah, of course he'll be back.  You can fix a broken GI Joe figure.  Like if you have a Duke:

69780.jpg

http://www.yojoe.com/action/83/duke.shtml

and it's missing the crotch so you replace it with the piece from a Snow Job:

2snowjob.jpg

http://www.yojoe.com/action/83/snowjob.shtml

Then your repaired Duke figure might be functional but it won't be right.

 

So you can medically replace Cena's jortus apparatus with a tightus whitus or even a garbagebaggus shinus and he might be able to walk again.  He might be able to run again, probably just as awkwardly as before.  But he will never, ever, be able to rise above again for he'll look down and know that the power of the jorts is gone forever...to that place where Nikki keeps the rest of her vibrators.

  • Like 2
Posted

Cena has reigns that meant more than Punk's long one.

Ironically enough, because WWE pushed whatever Cena was doing as more important than their title match.

EDIT: Cheap jokes aside, does he, though? I'm not sure I can think of a single reign of Cena's I'd actually call particularly important.

Posted

That was one thing I was looking at. There's that one, and there's RVD cashing in at ONS...really the most memorable thing about Cena's reigns have been how they ended.

Posted

 

 

Cena has reigns that meant more than Punk's long one.

Ironically enough, because WWE pushed whatever Cena was doing as more important than their title match.

EDIT: Cheap jokes aside, does he, though? I'm not sure I can think of a single reign of Cena's I'd actually call particularly important.

 

 

The reign he had leading up to Edge cashing in MitB should have be seen as important. That first cash in should be an all time great moment but Cena winning the belt back a month later killed it dead.

 

Timely, lol.

Posted

 

 

 

I'm a bit disappointed that Rollins and Kane basically murdered a dude and it's just being treated as just another beatdown. That combined with Cena coming back to face Brock again at Night of Champions, and there's whole lot of underselling going on.

 

It's really gotten to the point where nothing matters in WWE. Wins and losses, titles, and now 'injuries'.

 

 

I laugh my ass off every time I hear them say "John Cena is now a fifteen time World Champion" as if his number of reigns is even close to being comparable to say Ric Flair's sixteen times.

 

The way the title changes hands now...there is no comparison to the "old school" days. Title reigns meant something back then. Now...outside of Punk's 434 days...not so much.

 

 

Cena will likely retire a 25 time champion...

 

 

Cena will probably have more recognized reigns than the total number of Flair's recognized and unrecognized reigns.

Posted

Cena will likely retire a 25 time champion...

Cena retiring.  lol   He'll be hanging around forever, like herpes. 

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