Let us Hate on... Celebrity Chefs

[mco543]

I really think Kitchen Nightmares is one of the best comedies on television. I love catching the reruns on BBC America. It's also had the added impact of putting me off of eating out much which has lead to me learning to cook, trying new recipes and ideas, and getting healthier.

[Antacular]

Bobby Flay - A NY punk that wants you to think he's a South westerner. He's good at grilling, but that's about it. Y'all come this way we'll thrown down anytime.

Gordon Ramsay - I actually used to think the dude was funny, but he's devolved into the same "You're piling shit on top of shit, fuck me, are you taking the piss?" Over and over again. Oh yeah, then he always follows babbling about "fresh, local, ingredients" no matter where he is. For example, I live in the middle of the high desert. Look asshole, go back to the highlands and make something out of haggis and thistle, you fucking twat.

Ming Tsai - I actually find Ming pretty inoffensive, if stuck in the 1980s. Reminds me of this really nice guy from Canton who ran a restaurant near us and was slowly going broke.

Jamie Oliver - Bland, terrible food coupled with his faux persona of being street smart. Wouldn't last two seconds in the East End. For that matter, wouldn't last two seconds in downtown Gallup. Go back to prancing around your garden you fucking, soft twat.

There's an even dozen of HATEZ, whatcha got?

Tell me where on this doll your 4th grade geography teacher touched you, because that's the only explanation I have as to why you have this intense hatred towards the domiciles of others.

[Burgundy LaRue]

Does anybody watch "America's Test Kitchen"?  I like that a lot.  They give you great advice to make more traditional dishes in the best way.  I like the practicality of it because I'm very unlikely to make the extravagant dishes that you see on many shows.

 

I've watched it several times.  I like the show, though Christopher Kimball seems a tad WASPy.  He's not a jerk, but something doesn't sit quite right with me.  Love the taste test segment, though.

 

What's the opinion of barbecue guru Steven Raichlen?

[OSJ]

 

Does anybody watch "America's Test Kitchen"?  I like that a lot.  They give you great advice to make more traditional dishes in the best way.  I like the practicality of it because I'm very unlikely to make the extravagant dishes that you see on many shows.

 

I've watched it several times.  I like the show, though Christopher Kimball seems a tad WASPy.  He's not a jerk, but something doesn't sit quite right with me.  Love the taste test segment, though.

 

What's the opinion of barbecue guru Steven Raichlen

 

 

The fact that guys like Raichlen have made bbq and grilling synonymous makes Baby Jebus weep. They are two very different things, (where the heck is Mike Naimark when I need him?)

[J.H.]

 

The fact that guys like Raichlen have made bbq and grilling synonymous makes Baby Jebus weep. They are two very different things, (where the heck is Mike Naimark when I need him?)

 

Oh how I long for BBQVERSITY thread to make a rousing comeback!

I still have much to learn

 

James

[Super Ape]

I never saw that first season of Food Network Star, so I don't recall how anyone could possibly root for Guy. Also, Anthony Bourdain is responsible for the greatest diss in history, when he described Guy as "if Ed Hardy fucked a juggalo."

That said, I think the day I found out that Guy Fieri and the fat dude from Smash Mouth are NOT the same person may have been the most "go mad from the truth" experience in my life.

I don't know if anyone here has seen it, but there's a show on PBS called A Taste of History hosted by the head chef at Philadelphia's City Tavern, this German guy who demonstrates all these AWESOME-looking 18th-century colonial recipes. I love that show. I also love ATK (even got the Nintendo DS "game" that is really just a digital cookbook) and anything with Alton Brown.

And bravissimo to the guy who mentioned Nadia G. (aka the future Mrs. Super Ape)

I once saw a YouTube tutorial lead by Gordon Ramsay on how to cook a proper omelet. Suffice to say, the fact that he DIDN'T look like he was two seconds away from an aneurysm was slightly surprising.

[Death From Above]

I've watched two episodes of Hell's Kitchen in my life out of a combination of morbid curiosity and no sports being on TV, and they are both among the 2 worst hours of TV I have ever seen in my entire life.

 

It's basically the censored version of a white gangsta rap album, but throw in chef hats. Every third word is bleeped. The rest is yelling. And apparently they can't even cook.

 

It's just dogshit from wire to wire. I hesitate to say anything on TV could be sub-Dr. Phil because he's a genuinely harmful idiot that some people take seriously, but it's close.

[Burgundy LaRue]

 

 

Does anybody watch "America's Test Kitchen"?  I like that a lot.  They give you great advice to make more traditional dishes in the best way.  I like the practicality of it because I'm very unlikely to make the extravagant dishes that you see on many shows.

 

I've watched it several times.  I like the show, though Christopher Kimball seems a tad WASPy.  He's not a jerk, but something doesn't sit quite right with me.  Love the taste test segment, though.

 

What's the opinion of barbecue guru Steven Raichlen

 

 

The fact that guys like Raichlen have made bbq and grilling synonymous makes Baby Jebus weep. They are two very different things, (where the heck is Mike Naimark when I need him?)

 

 

*stares blankly at computer screen*

 

There's a difference?

 

[Big Fresh]

Bourdain is an idol of mine. Libertarians like to put him, Penn Jillette, Kurt Loder, and Vince Vaughn up on a pedestal to say "Look! It's cool to be one of us!" And we're failing in that task terribly.

[Big Fresh]

Jesus

 

What show is he on?

[assfax]

I hate the lady with the big stupid poofed out hair and the karate master costume.  I hate Nadia G's impossible to place accent.  I like Steven Raichlen, Johnny Nix and Nigella's big bodacious beef bazookas. 

 

I don't think he's a chef but that fucking Three Sheets guy and his stupid friend with a beard can eat shit.  Fuck those wimpy turds.

[LooseCannon]

I hate Nadia G's impossible to place accent.

I've been told that her accent is typical of where she grew up, a heavily Italian neighborhood of Montreal. She even grew up speaking Italian as a small child. The Canadian influence makes her sound a bit off to people who are used to hearing a New York-y Italian-American accent.

[Matt D]

We like John Besh a lot.

[WholeFnMachine]

Anne Burrell briefly taught at my alma matter before I went there, from all accounts she is a HUGE asshole. Meanwhile one of my mentors is a friend of Guarnaschelli's and has NOTHING but glowing praise for what a sweetheart & amazing chef she is. 

 

Bourdain is awesome and his wife is super cool and trains BJJ at Renzo's. A training partner of mine met them at a seminar & said they couldn't be nicer.

 

I like the way both Sanchez and Cosentino talk about food & what they like.

 

America's Test Kitchen, while I find the host of the show annoying, put out some of the BEST cook books. 

 

I met Fieri at a cookbook signing he was ridiculously hung over at 8 PM. I love DDD, but he is the worst part of it, watch his eye line when talking to a female chef, owner or patron, he's a fucking pig.

 

Watch an out of character interview with Nadia G, that is not her normal accent, I like her, my wife HATES her and the fake accent is why.

 

Anyone else a big fan of Unique Eats & Unique Sweets on Cooking Channel? I love when Allie Ward & Georgia Hardstark are on there. They have some douchebags on occasionally, but Lillian Wong is great and so are some of the other guests. I miss the Best Thing I Ever Ate, that was a great show.

[Mr Harms]

I always look at Guy Fieri as the Danny De Vito to Scott Steiner's Arnold Schwartzenegger in the wrestling/cooking mashup remake of Twins.

[cubbymark]

Most of the cooking shows I watch or have watched have been through my local PBS affiliate. None of them really cause me to rage in anger, although Jacques Pepin' French accent is very thick.

 

Nick Stellino is someone I've enjoyed over the years. Is he still kicking around the tires somewhere. Lidia's Kitichen is pretty cool as well.

[OSJ]

 

 

 

Does anybody watch "America's Test Kitchen"?  I like that a lot.  They give you great advice to make more traditional dishes in the best way.  I like the practicality of it because I'm very unlikely to make the extravagant dishes that you see on many shows.

 

I've watched it several times.  I like the show, though Christopher Kimball seems a tad WASPy.  He's not a jerk, but something doesn't sit quite right with me.  Love the taste test segment, though.

 

What's the opinion of barbecue guru Steven Raichlen

 

 

The fact that guys like Raichlen have made bbq and grilling synonymous makes Baby Jebus weep. They are two very different things, (where the heck is Mike Naimark when I need him?)

 

 

*stares blankly at computer screen*

 

There's a difference?

 

 

 

 

Yes, dear to us traditionalists bbq must be smoked. Anyone can grill pit mastery is arcane science known only the true Illuminati of cuisine. Actually, y'all can buy one of them big ceramic egg thingies and use that, they are pretty-much impossible to screw up with.

[OSJ]

We like John Besh a lot.

 

John Besh is aces.

[OSJ]

Bourdain is an idol of mine. Libertarians like to put him, Penn Jillette, Kurt Loder, and Vince Vaughn up on a pedestal to say "Look! It's cool to be one of us!" And we're failing in that task terribly.

 

I don't want this thread locked so as a person with some Libertarian leanings, here's the scoop: The people you named are all have more money than they could spend in a lifetime of coke and hookers, they are Libs because they don't want Uncle Sam in their pockets. The rest of the Libertarians tend to be crazy old men who love guns and refer to the "Civil War" as "The Northern Aggression", young punks who read far too much Ayn Rand when they were teenagers and took it seriously, and pot farmers. Once you spend some time in the real world you will hopefully develop a sense of social responsibility.

[Curt McGirt]

 

 

I love DDD, but he is the worst part of it, watch his eye line when talking to a female chef, owner or patron, he's a fucking pig.

 

I never thought about that before despite watching 1000 episodes of that show but I totally see it now. Gross. He came to Champaign last year and was hanging out with big game hunter, tax dodging, anti-union grade-A asshole Jimmy John at one of our local solid Mexican joints, Maize. Good choice of restaurant, BAD choice of company. 

 

Bourdain would be great to get tanked with just for the stories, and because he's my kind of people. I'd kick it with Ripert too but I think we'd get too stoned and I would need subtitles. 

 

We've got through three pages and I just remembered Martha Stewart cooks on TV. Let's open the Player Hater's Ball up for that bitch for sure.

 

I grew up on PBS cooking shows. Yan Can Cook, the drunk Cajun guy ("I gua-ron-tee"). And then we come to the troubling story of old dude with the beard that used to have the kids on all the time (can't remember his name) who got caught molesting them. I watched that all the time as a kid and to think I would've been right in his target range makes me hope he got the True Detective slow dude's treatment in prison.

[Curt McGirt]

^ that would be Jeff Smith, the Frugal Gourmet. I liked him because he told history lessons along with the cooking. Oh well, dead now, and never went to jail either. Fuck that guy.

[Matt D]

Oh! Speaking of PBS, Jacques Pepin is pretty awesome. 

[cool arrow]

Yan Can Cook!  Martin Yan was awesome.  Maybe still is, I have no idea.  There was a show on PBS I used to watch called "Dessert Circus" with a French guy named Jacque Torres, and he would make these ridiculously intricate and complicated structures (there's really no other word for it) any of which would put you in an instant diabetic coma.

 

And I still love Julia Child, although her latter-day shows are pretty embarrassing, as she leaves the cooking to other chefs while she just hovers over them and adds superfluous commentary.

[cubbymark]

^ that would be Jeff Smith, the Frugal Gourmet. I liked him because he told history lessons along with the cooking. Oh well, dead now, and never went to jail either. Fuck that guy.

 

I didn't want to bring him up because it was so long ago, but yeah. It's hard to not mention him and molestation charges that took him off TV. Didn't he allegedly do that to one of the actual on-air assistants on his show?

[cool arrow]

Yes.