assfax

New God of war is Sid Haig by way of Angus Scrim with the zelda boomerang by way of all the new videogame bullshit like nebulous upgrades and slow walking "low caves" loading zones and the kid is a scanning visor and gradius missles. The camera DOES suck. And it ain't that progressive. There'll be switches you can't hit 'til you lower some pungi sticks. BUT if this was nintendo you'd be able to angle that shit and catch it on the return. The kid is there becuase they ran into the Judge Dredd problem where you can't have your super badass slowing down to do all your bullshit exposition you're trying to cram in. You also have to have naughty dog style "give me a boost" bullshit even though Kratos can leap fifty meters and cleave stone. Ye got yer regular wimp mooks, teleporting annoyances, big giants and suicide bombers and medusa heads floatin' around. Apparently midgard is actually Kentucky.

OK I get to this first revenant and with no tutorial messages on I have no idea that square makes the kid use the bow. Holy shit this is fucking killing me. It's one of those deals where you can just infinitely block and I really don't give a fucking shitititityhithrdehuj

Yeah right at the start as soon as they let you move I'm all going in the opposite direction and the kid is bitching about the main path and I'm all "Fuck off I'm lookin' for secrets and doin' video game shit!" Shit load of "cinematic" automatic slow walking so far. I couldn't beat the first fucking enemies on the higher difficulty. Soon as I turn it to normal they die in 4 hits. Before I even started I turned off hud and tutorials. But now anytime I'm picking up treasure it gives no information. Game came with some code that gave 3 different colored shields that look the same. No stats so I don't really understand what the purpose is. It's one of those new 3rd person games where your dude is way off to the left and you can't always walk backwards.

DUDE. Pinball Arcade on Switch comes out today. I also got those FX3 Bethesda tables that kick ass. I've been playing a lot of pinball lately.

Those Tengen carts are bastards. When I got into cleaning my cartridges and had my nintendo screwdriver I went to open up my old Pac Man cart and they hide a screw behind the back sticker. Mahfuck. The unlicensed shit uses regular screws tho.

Delete System32 then restart. Hold down the power button. Then blow in it. Then use rubbing alcohol. 80% or higher. Use a anti-static wristband.

I'm drinking Knob Creek, Commissioner Gordon is doin' th' PIT maneuver on Batman whilst driving the 1989 Batmobile and it's all in the animated series continuity. This is going to be the basis for 9 years of shitty DC animated deals.

Can a computer make you cry?

Funko Luger is actually Funko Nick Bockwinkle.

Does that game have bullshit last bosses that I'm never going to beat like MK9 or is it more like Soul Calibur where you can rip through with all the characters and see all the endings?

69-79 buckaroos.

It's a bunch of damn cardboard.

That creators update hijacked my pc for 3 hours last month doin' a chkdsk on an old ass 2 tb external drive. JESUS.