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assfax

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About assfax

  • Rank
    Minnesota Purple Rage
  • Birthday 09/21/1983

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  • Location
    Every girl's dream
  1. Nintendo Switch

    69-79 buckaroos.
  2. Nintendo Switch

    It's a bunch of damn cardboard.
  3. YOUR WI-FI IS FUCKED

    That creators update hijacked my pc for 3 hours last month doin' a chkdsk on an old ass 2 tb external drive. JESUS.
  4. Watch Dogs

    I beat watchdogs 2 on sunday. THE GOOD Cops aren't always on yer ass all the time for silly shit. I saw helicopters like 3 times in the whole game. Badguys aren't psychic and instantly know where you are. You can do tons of shit and they don't even know whats happening. You can use a vehicle to climb higher and don't need a robolift every time you wanna get a moneybag. Like seriously, never felt hugely restricted. It's like Haunting with Polterguy combined with the idea of one of those universal remotes from a "Things you never knew existed" catalog. Whenever some asshole sideswipes me or some pedestrian starts yelling at me I can just make their car zoom off. This never got old. The part where marcus and horatio go to nudle had actual funny dialogue. When they called the dude Rob Zombie THE BAD When they called the dude Encino Man. The pipedream puzzle with the timer at fake burning man. Everytime I skipped a phone call because I was trying to hit escape to do one of the 4 other things escape does. Weird crane controls that changed depending on the camera. I wanted W to always extend the lift. Like a lot of new games it just ends with you holding a machine gun fighting 40 dudes right at the end. That happened on last of us too. Weird Sitara/Ray plotline never escalates or resolves. Doing a whole bunch of careful shit and then dying 89% through after it fucks up and having to redo a bunch of shit. Then wondering where you have to start over from. Whole lot of me just banging my fucking head on missions for an hour. Like, that Chinatown mob hideout where I gotta get in a safe? Even when I started abusing the fake apb/traitor stuff in the second half of the game I'd still get stymied. That Alcatraz bit where I gotta get the guy and then leave the island was killing my ass. The voting machine one was particularly egregious I could get the ones I could run over with the lift and the ones I could electrocute but had no idea how to destroy the other ones other than shooting them. Then my game kept crashing whenever I'd get about halfway through. Then I realized I had little EMP grenades I never even knew I had. Then there was one where I had to redo a pipedream puzzle on a radio tower because the mission glitched out and I had to rewatch that whole slow cutscene with wrench twice. Like, it didn't fail or reload it just reset the whole sequence. I thought the main badguys name was blume for 90 percent of the game.
  5. 2017 VIDEO GAME CATCH-ALL THREAD

    Beat Wolfenstein 2. Got to the part where the dudes arm was missing and stopped playing for three and a half weeks. Then I beat it today. Was pretty good until that fucking lameass djent we're not gonna take it cover at the end. Holy shitballs. They're just putting the lyrics over some unrelated schlock.
  6. 2017 VIDEO GAME CATCH-ALL THREAD

    Games I beat this year Ys chronicles (#2 is fucking amazing) Ys Oath in Felghana (goddamned miracle game) Ys Ark of Napishtim (needed the crystal warp) Ys 7 Ys Memories of Celceta (lame last boss) Gremlins 2 new zelda new mario blaster master zero played a shit ton of binding of issac cave story (hated the whole last part) golf story (GREAT) rayman legends got to the dark world on End is Nigh. donkey kong country returns 3D 3DS Metroid Nayuta no Kiseki (GREAT) Wolfenstein Old blood (shitty last boss) Moai Kun Death's cold embrace thief fan campaign accountant 1&2 dark mod missions Been playing Ys origins as my christmas game.
  7. Nintendo Switch

    Accessories I've used every damn day. amfilm tempered glass screen protector. yer gonna fuck up the first one with a tiny mote of dust probably. that's why there's two. pdp premium travel case. blue jean shit with a zipper. never used the extra game card pouches. Let's you put the damn nintendo in the little pocket on the back of your passenger seat. fintie multi angle cover (american flag one). the kickstand on the switch sucks. This let's you actually use table top mode. I also like the method where I set the thing up on top of my coat in my lap in my car. not recommended if you like holding the system like a game gear. I'm a table top, hunched over, arms crossed, detached joy-con motherfucker. Here's something I didn't mention when it happened. My dock got bent out of shape during the summer. It was fine one night and then it was tighter and the system didn't slide in easily after it had been out all day the next night. This was well after I'd beaten zelda and was only playing portable so long hours of a hot system docked wasn't the culprit. AND I had the AC on. I fixed it by using a metal guitar slide and wedging it in and then using a hair dryer to get it malleable then leaving the slide in while I was at work with the system. As half assed as that was, it went back to normal. I got into these new pinball games they came out with recently. I only purchased the universal movie pack for FX3. I was considering getting the box version of the Stern pinball set but it's only available on gamestop and digital is still about 6 bucks cheaper. That'll probably be a sought after cartridge down the road. I settled on the FX3 stuff mainly because it has tate mode and the stern one didn't. Really want that ghostbusters table tho'. I don't really like playing real pinball but I love video pinball. Dragon's Fury on Genesis is the shit. Hate Crue Ball and Sonic Spinball. I have all 6 NES pinball games in my collection. That fifa game looks like one of those games I'll get in two years at a disc replay for cheap and almost enjoy even though I hate and know nothing about soccer.. Kinda like how I'd just get one baseball game for my vita. Hey, y'know, that kinda sucks that there can be no major league baseball on switch.
  8. IN MEMORIAM 2017

    12/27/16
  9. Beat it. It's OK. This all would've been a million times better if I hadn't already beaten the game 8 months ago. This DLC also reminded me that I really have no idea how the hell the water and thunder blight battles work. I beat 'em then and now and still don't really understand how. They mostly are trying to mitigate how powerful and well stocked you are by this point. I have no reason to play this game ever again now. GOOD: Cryonis actually gets some use in the new shrines. Giant flame talus was kinda cool. Still just asset reuse. extra boss fight is an actual quasi-unique boss fight. didn't require me to look anything up on the internet found 4 korok seeds BAD: fly through the rings ad nauseam boss refights, now with restricted inventory new divine beast isn't a big mechanical animal, it's just a warehouse with 4 rooms that rotates in two directions. tedious 1 hit death opening hour where you're just clearing the same old boring enemy camps you avoided after the first ten hours. extra shrines have hidden treasure chests that have 99% junk weapons that you don't want and can't carry! I found 1 diamond. motorcycle is the big reward and it's been shown in all the media for it so who cares. Also, it sounds like a shitty little BMX bike. It's just another horse you won't use. You can get one final spirit orb upgrade but you still can't get that second row of hearts all the way filled. all the shrines are preparing you for a dungeon that doesn't happen at the end of the game. We are studying and there is no final test. Just that shitty ganon fight.
  10. Well I was excited to finally play the real DLC shit that finally came out today. Then I played it. First goddamned thing is a big protracted deal where one hit kills you and you have to use this crappy fork weapon. I'm just getting my bearings back 8 months after beating it and they're already busting my balls here. I avoided all that challenge trial shit for a reason cocksuckers.
  11. 2017 VIDEO GAME CATCH-ALL THREAD

    Was cruisin' through new Wolfenstein on do or die on PC. Then I got to that courthouse part and had to shove that sumbitch down as low as it goes. Then I turned it back up. That was some bullshit.
  12. Super Mario Odyssey

    I had that happen after breath of the wild where I'd see big decorative rocks in peoples yards and wonder if a korok was underneath.
  13. Been replaying DOOM on switch. I was realllllly not digging the controls 'til I changed to the "tactical" setting. Really wish I could rebind a couple more things. I don't like stick click for things I'd want to use often. Now I'm back into it and it's awesome again because the game was a secret Metroid Prime spiritual successor. Plus, I remember most of the secret spots. I mean, this is a game I beat twice on PC back to back and my ass just does not do that shit nowadays.
  14. Super Mario Odyssey

    Ye just get another goddamned postcard ending for getting all the damn moons. Bowser fight is still super fucking easy. Breakdown road final challenge was the hardest thing mainly because you gotta get the camera exactly right to even have a chance. Once yer going it's easy. Champions Road on 3D World was wayyyy fucking harder than the last level on this. I kept fucking up at the Pokio part but once I got past it the thing was a done deal. Still took about 30 attempts. Game still kicked all leagues of ass. Jump-rope thing was horrendous. I only had to look up that east pillar sand kingdom thing, the cascade warp painting and three coins on seaside kingdom.
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