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About assfax

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    Minnesota Purple Rage
  • Birthday 09/21/1983

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    Every girl's dream
  1. Been replaying DOOM on switch. I was realllllly not digging the controls 'til I changed to the "tactical" setting. Really wish I could rebind a couple more things. I don't like stick click for things I'd want to use often. Now I'm back into it and it's awesome again because the game was a secret Metroid Prime spiritual successor. Plus, I remember most of the secret spots. I mean, this is a game I beat twice on PC back to back and my ass just does not do that shit nowadays.
  2. Super Mario Odyssey

    Ye just get another goddamned postcard ending for getting all the damn moons. Bowser fight is still super fucking easy. Breakdown road final challenge was the hardest thing mainly because you gotta get the camera exactly right to even have a chance. Once yer going it's easy. Champions Road on 3D World was wayyyy fucking harder than the last level on this. I kept fucking up at the Pokio part but once I got past it the thing was a done deal. Still took about 30 attempts. Game still kicked all leagues of ass. Jump-rope thing was horrendous. I only had to look up that east pillar sand kingdom thing, the cascade warp painting and three coins on seaside kingdom.
  3. Destiny 2

    Okay, I got this game free with my new videocard. I beat the tutorial shit and got my superpowers back. What I wanna know is: Is there any reason to search around for secret shit or is everything going to pop out of badguys?

    Is it that same shit where even low level mooks take forever because you have to wait until you can counter their shit to do any damage?
  5. Super Mario Odyssey

    Yeah on the circular 2D thing I found that aiming more like it was a clockface kept me from getting disoriented. The 2D stuff has this wiggle thing that isn't in older marios that gives you a bit more air control. It keeps you from overshooting on precision bits.
  6. Super Mario Odyssey

    I've only encountered four bullshit moons: the two where you have to get a score of 100, the ruined kingdom rock that takes like 40 hits to break and the one where you have to fly a bullet bill across the damn desert. They don't explain that you get just a little more distance if you shake the controller like a moron while also accelerating. Holy jeez that killed my fucking hand. Couldn't even do it with pro controller, had to use the joycons. Those other moons share a common theme, unnecessary repetition. They could've cut those numbers in fucking half. The jumprope and volleyball don't even get faster after 50 so why have that be the halfway point and not the end?

    Dude, why didn't anybody say this Boone bounty hunter movie was awesome? Rampage Jackson was the drizzling shits but there weren't any super lame CG effects that ruined a good thing. Better than Machete 2 with all that garbage green screen shit. Not as good as the cream of the Lorenzo Lamas oeuvre.
  8. Super Mario Odyssey

    It ain't over by a damn sight.
  9. Super Mario Odyssey

    I've seen the credits but there's a ledge beyond the edge. I'm somewhere in the mid 500s and they're just dumping new moons on me. I thought the roll would be more used but nothing has required it. The thing where you jump, throw yer cap then dive towards it then dive again is the lifeblood of this game. You can do all sorts of shit you shouldn't be able to do.
  10. Super Mario Odyssey

    This game combines amusement parks, aquariums, being inside a slot machine, perceptual learning, taking a really hot bath and being the "10 banana cream pies" guy.
  11. Super Mario Odyssey

    Why isn't that Uproot guy called Vineguy? I'm calling him Vineguy and he needs 7 spinoff games. Also this thing in the hole in the desert after you thaw the desert with the moving columns and bullet bill that's wearing a hat is driving me up the goddamned wall. I ain't gonna watch no bullshit you tube video neither. Hell, only reason I'm not playing right now is because I'm eating after work.
  12. Super Mario Odyssey

    My main concern goin' in was the whole motion hat stuff. Right when you start it says to try using the split joy-con style. So I tried it. I mean I use it all the time for every other game when I'm portable with a table. Then I bopped over to the pro controller and you can do all the useful stuff exactly how you would intuitively translate it. Short little boomerang swing. The only move that doesn't seem to work is that zelda spin thing where the cap circles around you. That move is unreliable with the joy-cons though. 'member how on Breath of the Wild they had all those shrines that looked the same? Then they had all those seeds scattered everywhere? This is like that but damn near everything is unique and awesome. Throw the hat at everything. Other than that I'm about to play this until I nod off and I've already put seven hours into it today.

    Amazon sent Mario Odyssey and it arrived about 15 minutes ago. 'bout time I got one of these things earlier than I should've.

    Played that Mummy game at work tonight. Looks great, controls great. Then they have a bunch of tiny bug enemies. Then they load up on like nine different Medusa type infinitely respawning enemies. These bats shoot acid at you and the acid can travel through solid walls. Then they have shit fly out of doors when you are about to go through them. Then when I finally died for the first time at the second boss, reupping my health and ammo was super tedious before retrying the fight. Seems real goddamned stingy with the health. They like to keep giving you ammo pickups when you are full. Just have the goddamned save station refill yer health. They have the super simple smooth platforming of Symphony of the Night with the knockback damage of Castlevania 1-3. You can't run forward and shoot diagonally down like in Contra. They also have the roll trigger when you hit jump while crouching. There's this running upgrade that just seems kinda weird. It doesn't really look like yer going any faster but if you move about half a screen you can suddenly jump further. Bosses seem to clash with the pixel-art. Other than that, seems good.

    Beat steamworld 2 last night and was looking for another game to play before mario comes out on friday. I'm lookin' at the eshop and the first damn thing is Mummy Demastered. I'm thinkin' "why in the hell is there a damn mummy game for that mummy movie everybody didn't watch?".