Basically DVDVR LiveJournal

[Cobra Commander]

Nothing like digging through a celebrity interview YouTube and getting a quiet/non-crew cut R. Lee Ermey talking about working movies before Full Metal Jacket and answering a comment about the realism of Pyle killing Hartman in the movie.

 

[Curt McGirt]

Re: Snow, he calls it his snowpile when he lays the boom-boom down

[Curt McGirt]

Jeez, R. Lee Ermey's voice is ASMR when he drops that volume.

[Greggulator]

I had to go to a mental hospital for 8 days. Was there over Memorial Day weekend. My bipolar got really hard to manage and I had been struggling for a while. 

It was a wild 8 days. I am glad I went because I was going down some very dark places unfortunately. But even better — I really learned there what empathy for others really looks like. 

My first few days there were very scary. I was still completely out of it but when I came to — I was the only person my age who was functioning. People were either talking to delusions or just really zonked on medication. There was one 23-year-old who could have a conversation but that was it. My first night: We were also in our little outside area when there was a major fight in the building next to ours that was filled with really hard looking dudes — a lot of smashing and yelling and they had to evacuate all of the people on that floor to their rear pen while staff fled to whatever was going on. I was afraid it was a planned breakout and was just freaked out. 

A few other things were jarring.
 

First — multiple homeless people were in the unit. This was not jarring in a bad way, but when do you ever share space with unhoused people? It was also affecting me because I went down the “these people have real problems, what the fuck is wrong with me?” rabbit hole. In PA, if you go to an emergency room and say you’re suicidal, they will find an available bed for you at a psych hospital. A lot of homeless know about this rule and will use it for housing, especially in the winter. It sounds like a loophole (it is) but if you’re homeless you also very likely need psychiatric care and that’s the only way you’re getting it. 

Another jarring thing: There was this really big guy who is schizophrenic on the floor. He would fight with the voices in his head and because of that would scream obscenities. He was in the room next to me and trying to rest and relax and sleep with someone screaming that all night long was really scary. But then later on, one of the staff members told us he was just a scared 23-year-old kid dealing with this awful disease and felt horrible about how people were scared of him. We started incorporating him more and more into activities and conversations. And over time (and because of the inclusion, partly) he started not having his outbursts. It was really great to see.

The wildest stuff came from disruptive patients. Remember what I said before about the ER rule? A lot of addicts know about that rule, but a lot have no intention of trying to get clean. People with addiction are supposed to get into a drug unit but since Philly is the drug capital of the country these are few and far between. People in addiction who are there to get clean are usually very quiet since there is a huge amount of shame involved. But a good amount are there to try and score a dosage and prescription of some kind of benzo (Ativan and klonopin the most popular, especially from meth users.) They intend to be there for as few days as possible and will be as disruptive as they possibly can do a doctor will write them a prescription and send them on their way. One of the rules where I was at was that you had to keep your door shut if you were not in your room. So if you needed to go to the bathroom, you needed to get a floor tech (there are only 2) to open your door. But if someone is busy threatening a nurse or busy using the n-word or hiding a pill under their tongue and lying about it — that takes up all of the oxygen and attention so you have to wait to take a leak until that stops. 

But it got more comfortable as we progressed. More people were able to talk and it was a lot of really nice people who were dealing with similar stuff like I was — manic episodes lasting a few days where people were so sleep deprived they were having hallucinations (I have come close to that), or people dealing with major life stressors dealing with depression and suicide ideation (yep!) who wanted to become safe. People end up taking care of each other that way — even if someone is delusional or paranoid but really functioning. 

I will write more about all of this later. But it has been a wild summer for me.

[Curt McGirt]

Thanks for sharing. That's some heavy stuff to get out. 

To attach to that, I got in a conversation with an old friend recently who's coming through on tour with his drummer to do their two-piece band. They're hitting Indy but I'm not feeling sober-inclined right now and am trying not to relapse so I don't need to push it. Anyway I just wanted to talk to him, anyway, especially as he said the band is gonna be done. That's another ball of wax. But in his personal life he's dealt with his own addictions and we are open about them. He said he was diagnosed as having some kind of dissociative identity disorder -- which was known as split personality for decades -- but didn't really want to talk about it. He was recently prescribed I believe Trazadone, drank on it, and flipped out. The local hospital is about six blocks away so he thought he could get there... and couldn't. He apparently walked up to an older gentlemen begging to know where and got into a confrontation where he was thrown on the ground multiple times and was covered in blood by the time the cops got there. The judge saw his record (which is apparently an appallingly large rap sheet he wasn't aware of the size of) and threw him upstairs in the sixth floor of the jail. It was a long corrodor with two cells at the end and filled with people on either side. He is immediately told "You don't fucking look in the cells. Find a spot." And it's just everybody under the sun, from people with drug problems and mental problems to violent offenders, people who've been waiting on trial movement for months, elderly blind people even, the list goes on. Here's another "six", they don't let him out for six days and he's never been in jail overnight because he's always seen the magistrate and bonded out immediately. The cops told him "you're lucky you didn't get sent to the seventh, up there are the rapists and murderers". 

He also had stories about restraining orders from the insane, shady Christian church behind his apartment that he's apparently had conflicts with, and his battles with his ex-wife who he has to breathalize himself just to have visitation with his 3 year old, but anyway. That's jail, at least in Virginia. It sounds quite similar.

EDIT: I should mention that this guy is a college philosophy professor WITH TENURE who has BEEN PUBLISHED. If it wasn't for that, who knows where he'd be.

Edited June 24 by Curt McGirt

[dragonzombie]

I'm lucky to have most of my brunet hair at near 40.  I thought i would be bald at 28.

[Cobra Commander]

Watching a Letterman video on YouTube where he drops in on Sophia Loren. I was surprised to find that Sophia Loren is still alive (she's 89). My apologies if she dies in the next week.

There's probably an upside to Chris Elliott videos being bumped up the YouTube algorithm

[Technico Support]

13 hours ago, dragonzombie said:

I'm lucky to have most of my brunet hair at near 40.  I thought i would be bald at 28.

A little after 40 was when I noticed that my hair in front was getting thin and small patches weren't growing at all.  Been shaving it weekly/bi-weekly with a #1/2 guard ever since.

[tbarrie]

I recently turned 50 and am doing pretty well hairwise, but I had my semiannual buzzcut a week or two back and it revealed the fact that it's getting a bit thinner up top. Be interesting to see how it looks when it grows back out.

[The Natural]

I did something I've long tried not to, had to ring First Response last Saturday which you only do if shit really hits the fan. Almost hung up when he said it wasn't a talking service. Talking saves lives, prick. Some of the questions I've been asked before, some different. Been struggling with my mental health since May. Tomorrow will be the 10th anniversary of losing my Mum, 10 fucking years. Build to this has been one of the worst and that's really saying something.

[Curt McGirt]

My friend works a suicide prevention hotline and you need to look into that. Britain has to have them. I mean, if WE do...

I grabbed my new trimmers to do a 3 guard on myself the other day and surprise! That #3 was WAY lower. So, given the chunk I took out, I basically gave myself the old close shave. Oi, oi, oi!

[NikoBaltimore]

5 hours ago, The Natural said:

I did something I've long tried not to, had to ring First Response last Saturday which you only do if shit really hits the fan. Almost hung up when he said it wasn't a talking service. Talking saves lives, prick. Some of the questions I've been asked before, some different. Been struggling with my mental health since May. Tomorrow will be the 10th anniversary of losing my Mum, 10 fucking years. Build to this has been one of the worst and that's really saying something.

Fuck, man I can't imagine how hard that will be tomorrow. Please, please hang in there and know we all love you. My PM is always open and I'll be online most of the day if you need anything. 

EDIT: Quick search brought up this so hopefully this helps. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/mental-health-helplines/

Edited June 26 by NikoBaltimore

[The Natural]

23 hours ago, The Natural said:

I did something I've long tried not to, had to ring First Response last Saturday which you only do if shit really hits the fan. Almost hung up when he said it wasn't a talking service. Talking saves lives, prick. Some of the questions I've been asked before, some different. Been struggling with my mental health since May. Tomorrow will be the 10th anniversary of losing my Mum, 10 fucking years. Build to this has been one of the worst and that's really saying something.

 

20 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

My friend works a suicide prevention hotline and you need to look into that. Britain has to have them. I mean, if WE do...

I grabbed my new trimmers to do a 3 guard on myself the other day and surprise! That #3 was WAY lower. So, given the chunk I took out, I basically gave myself the old close shave. Oi, oi, oi!

 

18 hours ago, NikoBaltimore said:

Fuck, man I can't imagine how hard that will be tomorrow. Please, please hang in there and know we all love you. My PM is always open and I'll be online most of the day if you need anything. 

EDIT: Quick search brought up this so hopefully this helps. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/mental-health-helplines/

Thank you. I knew today would be hard, the tenth anniversary of my Mum's passing. It's been even worse as unexpectedly my Sister has been really sick since 3am. Laura said herself she hasn't felt as bad in a long time. Been worrying me and my Dad seeing her like this. I got less than 3 hours sleep. I'm mentally and physically drained from today which led me to self-harm.

With my mental health issues, I feel I'm a burden and let down to people despite them saying otherwise. The suicidal thoughts and self-harming. Very few know about either. Conscious about that knowing what it'll do to the person listening. Bad experiences put you off. Found out suicide is the biggest killer of men under 54 here.

The anniversary of Mum's passing is my darkest day by far but it's every day since losing my much missed Mum, the daily battles in my head and not wishing to let anybody down. As my late great Mum said, "As long as you try your best, all that counts." Thank you for your support. Love, Paul xxx.

Edited June 26 by The Natural

[Technico Support]

54 minutes ago, The Natural said:

The anniversary of Mum's passing is my darkest day by far but it's every day since losing my much missed Mum, the daily battles in my head and not wishing to let anybody down. As my late great Mum said, "As long as you try your best, all that counts."

Yeah, man.  This right here.  Hang in there, buddy.

[Greggulator]

3 hours ago, The Natural said:

 

 

Thank you. I knew today would be hard, the tenth anniversary of my Mum's passing. It's been even worse as unexpectedly my Sister has been really sick since 3am. Laura said herself she hasn't felt as bad in a long time. Been worrying me and my Dad seeing her like this. I got less than 3 hours sleep. I'm mentally and physically drained from today which led me to self-harm.

With my mental health issues, I feel I'm a burden and let down to people despite them saying otherwise. The suicidal thoughts and self-harming. Very few know about either. Conscious about that knowing what it'll do to the person listening. Bad experiences put you off. Found out suicide is the biggest killer of men under 54 here.

The anniversary of Mum's passing is my darkest day by far but it's every day since losing my much missed Mum, the daily battles in my head and not wishing to let anybody down. As my late great Mum said, "As long as you try your best, all that counts." Thank you for your support. Love, Paul xxx.

Hang in there friend. We are here. I just went through this last week — it’s never a burden to talk to anyone.

[The Natural]

21 hours ago, Technico Support said:

Yeah, man.  This right here.  Hang in there, buddy.

 

18 hours ago, Greggulator said:

Hang in there friend. We are here. I just went through this last week — it’s never a burden to talk to anyone.

Thank you, my friends. Really appreciate that.

[The Natural]

Saw Jodie, my mental health nurse today who said I'm doing great and I'm an inspiration. Wasn't at all happy with First Response response.

[The Natural]

On 6/26/2024 at 6:25 PM, The Natural said:

Thank you. I knew today would be hard, the tenth anniversary of my Mum's passing. It's been even worse as unexpectedly my Sister has been really sick since 3am. Laura said herself she hasn't felt as bad in a long time. Been worrying me and my Dad seeing her like this. I got less than 3 hours sleep. I'm mentally and physically drained from today which led me to self-harm.

I started late last night out of nowhere with Laura's sickness/shits and all through the morning. Most poorly I've been in years. So tired but can't sleep.

[Death From Above]

So for years I've had a weird sleep condition where just as I'm on the verge of sleep sometimes I hear loud noises that aren't there, usually someone I know telling me to wake up or something of the like. It snaps you awake and screws with your sleep. Turns out it has a name and you'll never guess: https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/t010up/til_hearing_sudden_and_loud_bursts_of_noise_while/

[Shartnado]

7 hours ago, Death From Above said:

So for years I've had a weird sleep condition where just as I'm on the verge of sleep sometimes I hear loud noises that aren't there, usually someone I know telling me to wake up or something of the like. It snaps you awake and screws with your sleep. Turns out it has a name and you'll never guess: https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/t010up/til_hearing_sudden_and_loud_bursts_of_noise_while/

I think I have had a few of those, but they are very far between. I don't hear any clear words but just sounds that aren't really there and I am not sure if I was asleep or not.

[Log]

Oh, weird. I hear a sound like someone knocking on our door right as I’m falling asleep sometimes. 

[Shartnado]

34 minutes ago, Log said:

Oh, weird. I hear a sound like someone knocking on our door right as I’m falling asleep sometimes. 

Yeah, like a loud bang, or something falling over or the door shutting loudly and you have no real idea if you dreamt it or if it actually happened.

[Death From Above]

The human brain is absolutely wild.

[Joe vs the Algorithm]

lol, Holiday weekend is off to a great start.  We’re visiting family and staying in a hotel for the weekend. Checked in Wednesday but basically just checked in, crashed on bed, then got up early yesterday to go visit family.  When we came back, it was after dark.  We did wonder why we saw a few people dressed in animal costumes, but neither wife or I gave it much thought. 

Overnight, there was a (checks notes) sword attack in the hotel. And a lot more people dressed in animal costumes. Finally turned on the news and learned there is a furry convention in town and the dudes involved in the sword attack were furries. Great. No idea how serious the swordplay was, but police were called and I overheard a hotel employee say there was blood on walls and floor.

Already made arrangements to stay elsewhere next several nights. Hotel away from convention center. No one dressed as a Pokémon or humping a stuffed animal when we checked in, so that’s a good sign. Lol, 15000 weirdos at a convention.  Why wouldn't there be a sword attack?

Edited July 5 by The Old-Fashioned Gamer

[Curt McGirt]

Better than one at the relatives', I suppose?