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2023 Joshi Puroresu Discussion Thread

RIPPA

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Stefanie Sparkleface

Stefanie Sparkleface

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Hamuko Hoshi's 15th anniversary show happened today, and there were some guests!

It's the first time Tsukasa Fujimoto has done anything post-pregnancy but that's a positive sign that she'll be returning from maternity leave in the future (maybe at Rifu Ribbon in July? A girl can hope!). Tsukushi Haruka is pretty firmly retired since she wanted to become a teacher, but it was nice to see her. Nori DATE sure was a surprise! She's pretty deep in MMA so it's unlikely she'll come back any time soon, but I wouldn't complain if she did (or the rest of the DATEs for that matter)!

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assfax

assfax

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'bout two months ago Yuna had that singles match with Tam out of nowhere.  I suspect that was the secret tryout.

 

The Red and White belts are going to be combined and IWGP won't feel unnecessary anymore.   This is probably why Giulia's reign was so short.  That IWGP belt has just been a real bugbear from the start.  For me it has about 10% legitimacy at this point.  Dudes like Mone and Kairi that aren't really touring just don't ignite me at all. 

 

Ruaka smashing the masks on Natsuko's robe was the coolest thing in the whole Cinderelly tournament.  They're still broken which adds to the cool factor.  Or maybe they're just cheapasses.  The least cool thing was when they blew that Thekla/Xena DREAM MATCH for no god damned reason.  With a clean finish too!  They were doing weird fuck finishes all over the place and that was where you needed a clear winner?  DISAPPOINTED.

 

That MomoTora promo on the New Eras after the title match was brutal.  Then again, those babies should be hacked off when they couldn't even be on the main show in Yokohama.  I kinda like when the crowd agrees with the heels.  This is even more strange because at this point I'd say God's Eye is the strongest faction.  They are must see TV.  They should finally bring in Inaba full time.  Hopefully we can get past the Ami Sourei weird extensions period quickly and quietly.

 

Mei Seira is looking like a damn million bucks.  I never saw her before Yokohama.  Every thing she does is fresh as a motherfucker.  She's in there making Thekla look like she just ate a greasy Rueben.  She could be the High-speed member of God's Eye.  Whole damn unit is like when you play NBA 2K and trade all the good guys onto your favorite team.  Then there was that 4/30 tag match against Kamitani and Azumi.  God DAMN what a kitchen-sinker.  It also demonstrates the true art of the time limit draw.  You want that bell to ring and still be pumped up.  Not feeling like they had to stretch and pad and stretch and pad.

What exactly is going on with Suzu Suzuki?  Her title card had the basic Stardom thing where her faction would be.  Then, she had a Prominence logo.  Then, back to neutral. They can just bring in Kurumi and license that awesome theme song.  Couldn't give a shit a bout Risa and the rest.  Sorry.

 

That Prominence theme kicks ass!  It's like some PS1 Megaman X shit with a little faux Michael Schenker solo.

 

Mariah May on commentary reminded me of Kevin Nash.  I think that is good?  Is she going to fight Mayu Iwatani?  Felt like they were building that.  I think Mariah is undefeated in Stardom.  Has she been pinned?  I don't recall it.

 

Mai Sakurai's gimmick is like if Lanny Poffo and Rick Rude were foodie vloggers.  If she's writing her own shit and getting all the regional details it's awesome.  If somebody else is just checking the first page of search results it's still pretty good.  Her top rope elbow drop looks amazing.  It looks like she weighs 5 tons.  But when she starts fucking up late in a match she just can't recover.

 

Mina's promo against Tam was like if Vicki Lawrence had old time anime potty-mouth subtitles.  Awesome.

 

Jessie:  Just north of the shits but firmly at the bottom of my power index.  I'll take it back if she is actually a secret spy for DDM.

 

Rookie report: 

Hanako:  Easiest to love but she seems to have regressed a bit.  She dumped Xena like a sack o' taters and I really thought they were going to end it on that small package audible.  That was a "pooky is done" moment iffin there evern was.

Aya:  Dull as dishwater but probably will end up being the better of the 3(?)  Starting to show a glimmer of charisma.

Minami Komomo:  Had to look it up.  Injured about two months ago.  Was going to debut against Hazuki.  I'm thinking either they are waiting a little longer and bringing her in with a mask or she washed out.

 

 

Finally,  did anyone else hear that first elbow Maika laid on Kamitani at Fukuoka?  WOOF.  That sounded like distant artillery fire.  Had to rewind.  Her new look is for fans of Delta Burke, SNK and puissance.

 

Better do one for Giulia too.  Her new look is for fans of Cyndi Lauper, Mad Max and concession stand brawls.

 

Hold on, lemme do one for Utami.  For fans of Rob Schneider, Kingdom Hearts and crap.  Sorry, but she's got to be my least favorite on the main roster.  Actually, I lied.  I'm not sorry.  Queens Quest has no cohesion.  Get Lady C and AZM the hell out of there.

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Eivion

Eivion

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1 hour ago, assfax said:

The Red and White belts are going to be combined and IWGP won't feel unnecessary anymore.   This is probably why Giulia's reign was so short.  That IWGP belt has just been a real bugbear from the start.  For me it has about 10% legitimacy at this point.  Dudes like Mone and Kairi that aren't really touring just don't ignite me at all. 

The current match is just a double titles match, not a unification match. The likelihood of the match ending with an actual winner is small given both Tam and Mina are new champs though not impossible. The likelihood of the belts getting unified is much smaller.

The IWGP booking feels weird because the belt really has no reason to actually exist. NJPW has no women's division. There was little reason to not just use have Stardom defend their own belts at shows. 

2 hours ago, assfax said:

That MomoTora promo on the New Eras after the title match was brutal.  Then again, those babies should be hacked off when they couldn't even be on the main show in Yokohama.  I kinda like when the crowd agrees with the heels.

Despite being heels Oedo Tai has always been rather liked by the audience. They are more clearly heels now than they were under Kagetsu, but its hard to get a crowd to hate them. Kid has been the most popular wrestler in Stardom at times the past two years. They have a lovable goof in Saki. They also are one of the only groups who doesn't really have issues with each other even after trying to beat the crap out of each other during tournaments. 

2 hours ago, assfax said:

What exactly is going on with Suzu Suzuki?  Her title card had the basic Stardom thing where her faction would be.  Then, she had a Prominence logo.  Then, back to neutral. They can just bring in Kurumi and license that awesome theme song.  Couldn't give a shit a bout Risa and the rest.  Sorry.

Suzu left Prominence to seemingly focus on Stardom. She is still a freelancer though so she has no official association.

2 hours ago, assfax said:

They should finally bring in Inaba full time.

Inaba's younger sister recently debuted for JTO, and Inaba is their top gal. She isn't leaving there to become a mid carder in Stardom, not yet anyways. 

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AverageKong

AverageKong

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9 hours ago, assfax said:

The Red and White belts are going to be combined and IWGP won't feel unnecessary anymore.   This is probably why Giulia's reign was so short.  That IWGP belt has just been a real bugbear from the start.  For me it has about 10% legitimacy at this point.  Dudes like Mone and Kairi that aren't really touring just don't ignite me at all.

So wait, the titles unifying is confirmed?

What's even crazier about the situation is that NJPW-STRONG is about to start their tournament for ANOTHER new women's title for a division that they don't have.  

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dragonzombie

dragonzombie

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It is just the Double Crown. When a Stardom Player holds both the World and Wonder titles.

The Strong Women's Championship is supposedly to be for the west mainly. But the IWGP Women's was also supposed to be sorta western world adjacent.

Anyway planz change.

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lostinube

lostinube

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For people who don't really follow these sorts of things, this is Natsupoi covering a song by Ado from the One Piece Red soundtrack.

Tam did another cover earlier in the week:

These are mainly to boost the meltear CD although these two songs are not actually on there.

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Eivion

Eivion

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Guessing it just leads to a generation 8-person tag next month, especially since they are already teasing Utami and Saya breaking up.

Oedo Tai is one of the more tightknit groups in Stardom. I assume a break up happens eventually, but its probably another year or two off. 

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J.H.

J.H.

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If you are struggling, in crisis and thinking of harming yourself:

 

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If there other members of the board that want to post non-English speaking Crisis Lines, please, I implore you, DO SO!

 

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