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Dynamite - 1/19/2022


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Here is the full card because I am a helper!

OC & KStat vs Baker & Cole in a match where four good workers try to make chicken salad out of the chicken shit that is mixed tag rules.

CM Punk vs Shawn "Cokedick Ronnie" Spears

Two Grown Men and They Goin' Through a Goth Phase vs The Acclaimed

Mox returns!  That's great.

Serena Deeb vs (and is leaving with) Sky Blue ('s leg)

The House of Black/The Kings of the Black Throne vs The Varsity Blonds w/Julia Hart who will hopefully turn on this dead act soon

Brock Anderson teams with Big Shotty to try to earn his dad's love vs FTR

Cody returns to make worky shooty comments to rile up us dumb marks because he's carny and lame.

 

Edited by Technico Support
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I like how the poster lined up the three sacrificial lamb matches.  We're getting three glorious murders here and I can't decide which one I'm the most giddy about.

And seriously, mixed tag rules suck.  Unless you do it perfectly, you kill the flow of the match.  TK should just go full on troll against Vince's pearl clutching and make it an intergender streetfight with quadruple juice.

Edited by Technico Support
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1 minute ago, Technico Support said:

I like how the poster lined up the three sacrificial lamb matches.  We're getting three glorious murders here and I can't decide which one I'm the most giddy about.

The black and white for the House of Black was a nice touch, too.

As for the mixed tag, is Statlander taller than Adam Cole? That could be an interesting visual.

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I'm praying for a humiliating squash, but Cokedick Ronnie will probably get in tons of offense on Punk and it will make me angry.

RIP Skye Blue's ACL.

Tonight, Julia Hart will take of her eyepatch and her eye will look just like Malakai's and it will be great.  Heel turn's a comin'.

After Punk fractures Shawn Spears's orbital bone with the GTS tonight there will be an opening in the stable, so I need Brock Anderson to gordbuster Big Shotty to death and join the Pinnacle, but that probably won't happen.

 

Edited by J.T.
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4 minutes ago, JLowe said:

The black and white for the House of Black was a nice touch, too.

As for the mixed tag, is Statlander taller than Adam Cole? That could be an interesting visual.

Wikipedia says Cole is 6' which is fucking hilarious. 

Quick Googling says KStat is 5'9", which sounds right.

Looking at an absolutely laughable pic of Cole online standing next to the also billed at 6' Zack Sabre Jr., Cole looks like he's 5'6".

Tonight, we begin our investigation!

EDIT: Thank you, @J.T. for running with "Cokedick Ronnie." (tm Marty & Sarah Love Wrestling)

 

Edited by Technico Support
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During the stand-off, Statlander looked a little shorter than Cole, but those boots he had on may have had inserts.

 

Edited by J.T.
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1 hour ago, Technico Support said:

This is some real Zapruder Film shit but pausing it at 5:24, Stat is leaning forward while Cole is totally upright.  I'd say same height.

Back, and to the left.

Keep in mind that Cole always looks taller on tv since he's standing on the crushed hopes and dreams of that segment of internet fandom that loathes him (and tells us about it constantly).  

Young Bucks do the same thing.  They're actually only 3'5" in person.  

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I've taken one thing away from this thread.

I have no idea whom "Cokedick Ronnie" is originally, but seeing that name paired with Shawn Spears just makes me giggle. Although, isn't that gimmick infringement on Pres10 Vance?

Edit: Wait, that's double gimmick infringement on both their parts isn't it.

Edited by Krone Meltzer
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1 hour ago, Krone Meltzer said:

I have no idea whom "Cokedick Ronnie" is originally

Essentially, "Ronnie" is Spears' shoot first name (and what other wrestlers all call him) and he looks like a cokedick sleazebag you'd see at a party.

Edited by Technico Support
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6 minutes ago, J.T. said:

If the Briscoes cost FTR the match and give a win to Brock and Big Shotty, the interwebs will break.

That's gonna be sooooo awesome.

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8 hours ago, J.T. said:

During the stand-off, Statlander looked a little shorter than Cole, but those boots he had on may have had inserts.

I stood in for Punky Brewster when all of you was nothing!

ba1e9fff-c274-4f9f-8e12-3150c8730766-tex

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