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Everything posted by DEAN

  1. I think the Orange Cassidy vs Will Ospreay match was the best of the night. There were several TRULY awesome matches but that one was fucking awesome.
  2. SHOTA the SHOOTER! WHEELER YUTA! EDDIE KINGSTON! Against CHRIS JERICHO! SAMMY GUEVARA! and fucking MINORU SUZUKI! Man, Chicago is MOLTEN. Oh no! They Blood and Guts stipulation gives away the finish. Unless AEW is COMPLETELY insane and the faces are having the man advantage. JESUS CHRIST! WHEELER YUTA IS OVER AS FUCK IN CHICAGO! Guevara is so awesome as a heel. KINGSTON VERSUS SUZUKI! My wife notes that Suzuki looks crazy, KINGSTON VERSUS JERICHO! Suzuki saves Jericho's bacon! And then tags in to extend Eddie as the face in peril. Eddie hits an EXPLOIDER and Reverse STO! Hot tag to Shota! Shota with Fisherman Buster for two! Guevara hits a fucking PSYCHOTIC Shooting Star Press from the Top to the floor! Then all kinds of shit happens! What a great fucking match! Shota was fucking awesome. Minoru Suzuki is the glue kept it together. Sammy Guevara is your superstar of the match. There is no way this crowd can last! JEFF COBB! He IS Vader! Mother fucking FTR! I assume that Trent Barretta will be the secret all star. O'Khan uses his butt in an alluring way. Man, United Empire is like the Miracle Violence Connection. FTR actually makes the psychology of the match make sense as Dax is escorted to the back - as it appears that Roppongi Vice versus United Empire. I love that they are doing the Four Horsemen vs the Rock n Roll Express when Ricky Morton had a dislocated shoulder. DAX IS BACK! Then a lot of stuff happens. Ropponggi Vice gets the nearfall! And Rocky Romero eats the pin and FTR ARE YOUR IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Kind of a crappy clusterfucky way to win it but FTR ARE YOUR CHAMPIONS! I assume United Empire get the rematch at the ROH PPV. OR they have Aussie Open at the PPV and I'll have to order it. Miro beats the hell out of Clark Conners. MALAKAI BLACK versus MIRO! Miro is a beast in this clusterfuck of a match. PAC hits many high spots. Clark Conners gets in a modicum of offense! Clark Conners GETS OVER BY PUTTING MIRO THROUGH A TABLE and hitting a batch of offense! I don't think I've ever seen somebody get over that quickly. Great fucking finish! PAC IS YOUR ALL ATLANTIC CHAMPION! Clark Conner was your secret superstar! It's SHINGO TAKAGI! AWESOME! STING DIVES ON THE BULLET CLUB FROM THE BALCONY AREA! DUDES WITH ATTITUDES! I can't imagine what Darby Allin and the Young Bucks are going to get up to. I LOVE that the all channel Ivan Koloff and do elaborate back rakes! Allin is a GREAT Ricky Morton. GREAT FUCKING LARIAT BY SHINGO! Sting is so fucking awesome. Oh man, this match is fun. ELP is working really well with the Young Bucks. Shingo's finisher is really fucking beautiful! I love that Shingo is a dude with attitude! That match was fucking great and got everything grounded again after two consecutive clusterfucks. THE WIZARD THROWS FIRE AT SHOTA UMENO! He's a WIZARD! Toni Storm and Thunder Rosa! I fear for TR headdress near the pyro! So Chicago is the greatest crowd in wrestling? GREAT STRIKING SECTION as Storm fucking lays it in and TR matches her stiffness level. TR is getting in a lot of offense early. I love her counter to her DDT to the floor and then going back and hitting it. Fucking GNARLEY Flying hip attack by Storm! WHOA! STORM KICKS OUT OF A NASTY K-DRILLER! Storm can't hit the Storm Zero! TR hits a finisher I've never seen her hit and THUNDER ROSA RETAINS! That was good. NO JANE! What the FUCK!?! Awesome! A child throwing up the Unites Empire sign! Orange Cassidy taunts Ospreay a lot! I think they are going for FUN over Five Stars and Gordlow will be SATISFIED! Ospreay heeling it up is fun. Ospreay taunts OC and also taunts the crowd by PULLING A BIRD OUT OF CASSIDY'S POCKET! Ospreay is beating a mountain of heat on OC and the crowd gets behind his comeback. OC's Kawada Kicks are fucking great. THEN REAL KAWADA KICKS! This match is fucking great- the oldest school match of the card. Oh man, this match is fun. So this and the STING match are battling it out for the most fun match of the night. Okay, THIS match is the most fun match of the night. THAT MATCH WAS MOTHERFUCKING GREAT! Fun AND Five Star! WHAT THE HOLY FUCK! SHIBATA!!! AWWWWESOME! And it's.... CLAUDIO! Okay, Zack Sabre Jr is selling an assbeating early. Then he starts doing Sabre-like things. Man, Zack Sabre Jr is so fucking awesome. I love that the story is Zack Sabre Jr uses his technical prowess while Claudio uses his lesser prowess but also uses his COMPLETLEY FREAKISH STRENGTH! Chicago has the smartest fans on earth as pop like FREAKS for Giant Swing. Taz marking out for ZSJ is the best part of this match. CLAUDIO WINS! I guess we aren't ever getting ZSJ vs Bryan Danielson. That was good! The crowd completely LOSES IT'S SHIT when Okada appears! And it's JAY WHITE! And (your future IWGP CHAMPION!) ADAM COLE! And HANGMAN ADAM PAGE! ADAM COLE! ADAM COLE! MAaaan, the cROWD IS MOLTEN! I await Adam Cole and Okada. And we get it! They are working this like a tag match. Y'see, the only multiman match that actually works was the All Atlantic match since it was for a vacant title.This and the tag title match are just shitty ways to switch the belts. Anyway, OKADA IS AS OVER AS MICHAEL JORDAN IN CHICAGO! Maaan, I wanna see Hangman vs Jay White in a singles match. I also want to see Adam Cole versus Jay White and Adam Cole versus Okada. I saw Jay White vs Okada last Thursday. Oh yeah, Hangman Page versus Okada would be cool too. For a total clusterfuck, this match is pretty great. Hangman vs Okada is fucking awesome. Finish was strange. JAY WHITE RETAINS! The crowd REALLY wanted OKADA to win. What a great fucking Pay Per View. OH WAIT! I totally forgot about the MAIN EVENT! Hiroshi Tanahashi! Jon Moxley! HOW HAS THIS CROWD BEEN THIS HOT FOR THIS LONG!?! This is the greatest wrestling crowd in the history of wrestling. Mox is BLEEDING! Tanahashi with a GIANT CROSS BODY off the tope! Mox is so fucking great! This is the best Tanahashi has looked in a long time. Mox is so fucking great at making Tanahashi look like a million bucks. THAT WAS A FUCKING GREAT PAY PER VIEW!
  3. Allright! Hirooki Goto on my TV set! Aaron Solo is in over his head! QT Marshall is a HEAT MACHINE! CLUBBERING! MORE CLUBBERING! Aaron Solo gets in some offense! The Factory is so awesome. Goto hits a SWEET lariat! Solo with a great Tope Con Hilo! This match is fun! Yoshi-Hashi makes the hot tag! Goto gets the pin! Chicago seems ready for some wrestling. And there will be LOT more. Nick Comoroto vs Lance Archer! This is the best episode if Elevation EVER! HOSS BATTLE! Lance crushes his skull getting in the ring. Nick on offense! The Factory are so over as heels. This is GREAT hoss battle! Lance Archer with a DIE HARD KANSAI! Almost. Chicago is molten for wrestling. Awesome! El Desperado! Shane Strickland! Keith Lee! KANEMARU! Has he ever wrestled in America? Strickland and Despy are a match up I'm looking forward to. And they are fucking GREAT together. Keith Lee is fucking awesome being a total HOSS while also selling the knee. GREAT fucking BRAINBUSTER by Strickland. NICE SPINEBUSTER by Despy! Yeah, Strickland and Desperado need to have a best of 7. Oh man, this match is fucking great. So FUCKING GREAT. What a fucking match! Desperado is a MAN. ASS BOYS! TOKYO DOME! GREEN BAY! THE ASS BOYS THEME! Alex Coughlin is a beast. The Ass Boys disappear and don't return? That was an odd match to follow the fucking AWESOME Kanemaru/El Desperado vs Lee/Strickland. The best episode of Elevation EVER!
  4. I await the WWE contingent to show up and get Asuka/Big Time Becks on the board.
  5. Ahem. Tam Nakano's Screwdriver variation is definitely a Piledriver.
  6. So it's official. No one is voting for the IMPACT! match again.
  7. With no precincts reporting, Fenix/Andrade is running away with it early! I await the WWE contingent. I noticed that I forgot to put the IMPACT! match on. Let me add that.
  8. You KNOW, There are like sixteen Cages in AEW. I can only ASSUME you mean Brian Cage. Though Christian Cage versus Gresham would be fucking great. I was just saying that when I first started watching FTR, I figured Dax was the heelish, heat garnering guy- which he was and was really that in spades in the build up for the Briscoes match- and that Cash Wheeler was the worker of the tagteam. Then Dax became this Wrestling Machine and became a face so he is no longer a Heat Machine. Cash Wheeler is a great pro wrestler and he did in this match what Tom Zenk did in his Vader match- make his opponent look totally hellish. It's just that Dax's singles run changed FTR's dynamic completely. It turned them face and changed his role from heat garnering heel to Austin/Arn-like babyface asskicker. Dax is fucking GREAT NWA face ass kicker. Cash Wheeler is a great Tully Blanchard style tag wrestler. Except Tully never could pull off wrestling face. But point taken.
  9. SATURDAY REFLECTIONS: I noticed that the Rey Fenix/Andrade is all about counters to each other's offense- while I noticed in the Smackdown main event last night, that Sheamus did no counters to anything and just took the full brunt of the Usos offense, which I thought has weird for a modern match but was awesome. The story was Sheamus is a bone headed wrestler but he is very tough. That's a good story, This match is so cerebral. It's just one guy countering the big move of the other guy. While you jerks were watching in picture in picture, the crowd gets behind Rey's comeback while fighting out of a chinlock. Andrade is countered into a Cutter and then Andrade counters a Love Machine Splash by getting his knees up. Meanwhile, Andrade counters his highwire spot to go into Fenix countering the double knees of Andrade, It's awesome that all offense is a counter to the offense to the other. It's like a Sweetpea Whitaker fight. Sorry, channeling Schneider for a second there. Fenix counters Andrade taking him to the toprope by hitting a Spanish Fly. This match is so lucha libre, in that it's all about hitting the next spot as big as possible and beating the other guy as directly as possible. Jose asking the crowd to be quiet while he passes the tablet to Andrade is a beautiful moment that one misses the first time you see it. Andrade's attempting to show that he is NEW FLAIR FAMILY MEMBER by procuring the Figure Four is COUNTERED and that leads to Rey Fenix hitting the Shiryu Tope Con Hilo that ANDRADE COUNTERS FINALLY BY HAVING RUSH CRUSH REY'S TESTICULAR AREA to use his final counter to win the match. Rey need to use his resources in the next match which all leads up to motherfucking Dragon Lee debutting for Andrade to COUNTER PENTA and PAC. I can't quite figure out when Jose goes from fully clothed to GLORIOUSLY SHOWBOATING HIS BUFFNESS! That match was intricate and fucking beautiful THAT'S how you start a feud. Sierra should be signed and join Deeb and Martinez is the Salty Old Broads Faction. And then sign Davienne and have them feud with the Baddies. Hot sisters versus angry redneck chicks is A GATEWAY TO PRINTING MONEY. Hook sells like Paul London, which is pretty cool. Oh wait, HOOK VERSUS ZACK SABRE JR! FUCK CLAUDIO! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK! Austin Gunn being excited about going to Japan is SOLID GOLD! The Ass Boys DO have to do a tour of New Japan. THAT would be solid gold. I used to think that Cash Wheeler was the secret Wrestling Machine of FTR but then Dax Harwood went on his million dollar singles run and showed that he is possibly the best wrestler in the world, so Cash Wheeler is also a great wrestler if not as great as Dax Harwood. He is the Doug Summers to Dax Harwood's Playboy Buddy Rose. Jeff Cobb has the strength OF A ROBOT! He should definitely get a Vader run in AEW to point towards a TBS title match with Wardlow. Cobb surfing on Cash Wheeler and the Standing Moonsault Press AND the Unprotected Bodyslam by Cobb while you RUBES were watching in picture in picture further showed the Vaderness of Cobb. COBB IS A FUCKING ROBOT OF DESTRUCTION! This is the Best Possible Vader vs Tom Zenk. If Tom Zenk could punch like Cash Wheeler and could be all wiley with his offense, Zenk/Vader would have been this match. Jericho is great explaining how Cash couldn't quite pull off the Tiger Driver. If Tom Zenk could have countered Vader's horrendous finishers, it would be this match. Vader does eventually crush Tom Zenk and Jeff Cobb eventually crushes Cash Wheeler. I don't know who said it but the melee finish is absolutely Memphis but on a bigger stage. Well, it needed blood and mustard and random dowel rods being broken over people's backs to be TRULY Memphis. Jericho's jacket is even more awesome in the second viewing! Robert Plant in 1975 awesome. I love that Tazz owes Eddie Kingston pens. Man, that was great.
  10. Well, I'm not QUITE that old yet. My heart exploded so I can't work anymore. ENTRESTO~!
  11. It's called RETIREMENT! YEAH, DADDY!
  12. ANOTHER embarrassment of riches. Tell me! WHAT WAS THE BEST MATCH? Feel free to REFRESH your mind with the POLL PREP thread.
  13. HOLY SHIT! This match is fucking awesome. Andrade is fucking awesome. Rey Fenix is fucking awesome. Dueling Three Amigos is so fucking cool. JESUS! Rey Fenix is fucking CRAZY! THEN! Rey Fenix bumps GIGANTIC to the floor and we watch picture in picture like a bunch of rubes. I await tomorrow and the sweet sweet INTERNATIONAL FEED. Why is Andrade not the AEW champion? Man, Rey Fenix is so spectacular. Andrade takes a Cutter like RVD takes a DDT. Andrade counters Rey's highwire spot. Rey counters Andrade's double knees by allowing him to drive them into the ringpost! We go back to picture in picture like a bunch a JERKS. Rey misses a Swanton and Andrade gets a two! So this is the best match in the history of Rampage. We come back to Rey Fenix hitting a fucking GNARLEY Spanish Fly. Man, this match is fucking great. GREAT fucking Shiryu Tope by Rey Fenix. IT'S FUCKING RUSH! So fucking great. All that and Jose is shirtless! HE'S SO BUFF! Oh man, Death Triangle vs Rush and Andrade (and bring in Dragon Lee to even it all out) is a feud I could back for several years. YAAAAY! So fucking great. Rush jobs to his shirt! He has IRON CUFFLINKS! Man, that was good. Awesome! Kanemaru and El Desperado versus Shane Strickland and Keith Lee! Awesome! Deeb and Martinez versus fucking Sierra! She is fucking great. And Laynie Luck is good. Martinez procures the nastiest armbar you will see. Laynie Luck takes a very Glamour Girls level ass beating. What a great tag team. Sierra didn't get to do much but they should definitely sign her. TULLY and the Gates of Torment! So ROH is definitely about to get TV. So the Buy-In is going to be Rampage level. And they send out Hook! DKC hits KARATE CHOPS! Hook hits a sweet Judo throw. Hook with the Steiner crossfaces. Hey, hook sold some! Poor Excalibur. He needs to breathe. Roppongi Vice winning the ROH and IWGP tag titles would hilarious/awesome. BOOK IT, TK! JEFF fucking COBB! SPORTS ENTERTAINER OF THE WEEK! Jeff Cobb is wrestling Cash Wheeler like fucking Vader. In picture in picture, Jeff Cobb CLUBBERS! Jeff Cobb hits a standing Moonsault because Jeff Cobb IS Vader. Jesus, this match will be so awesome tomorrow on the INTERNATIONAL FEED because Cobb is ragdolling Cash Wheeler. Cash has an impressive babyface comeback culminating in a Tiger Driver. Great counter to the Tour of the Islands into a roll up by Cash. Cash counters a Doctor Bomb into another roll up. This match is good. Man, Cobb is so fucking good. What a great power wrestler. He has GOT to wrestle Hobbs and Wardlow! ANOTHER MELEE! I just noticed that Chgris Jericho is wearing the greatest jacket int he history of wrestling. IT"S PANDEMONIUM! That was GREAT episode of Rampage. Nothing will beat Rey Fenix versus Andrade. AEW RULES THE GODDAM WORLD.
  14. It's Sami Zayne versus Shinsuke Nakamura again! Zayne is great selling an assbeating. Zayne breaks from his recent style and hits a Exploider into the guardrail. Nakamura kicks Zayne in the head to knock him out of El Generico mode. Actually, Zayne hits a Michinoku Driver- as he IS El Generico again. Fun CHEATING by Zayne- as we go into a myriad of nearfalls. El Generico kicks Nakamura in the head and wins the match! That was weird. That was good but weird. It's Jinder Mahal and Shanky against the New Day again. The New Day comments on WWE Booking Style of driving match ups into the ground. Shanky has a face turn! It morphs into the New Day and Shanky getting beat on by WAR MACHINE! I mean THE VIKING RAIDERS! After rampaging a few weeks in NXT 2.0! Sonya DeVille is the secret Wrestling Machine of the WWE Women's division. Raquel Rodriguez needs to turn heel already. Her smiling is unnatural and creepy. This handicapped match appears to be an angle to heat up Shayna Baszler and Xia Li versus Rodriguez and Lacey Evans. Either way, PUT A BELT ON SONYA. It's GUNTHER versus Ricochet! GUNTHER will fucking beat the fuck out of someone. This is like Matt Sydel taking on Wardlow. Jesus! GUNTHER is beating the living fuck out of Ricochet. MAN! That SUWA Dropkick is fucking GNARLEY. That was a squash. Let's hear it for Ricochet for taking a MAN-SIZED ass beating. That was fucking harrowing. I don't expect matches like that in the WWE. It's Tamina! She's usually in one of those idiot story lines that I fast forward through. She was in a forgotten tag team with Natalya not too long ago. It;s Shotzi (Blackheart!) and we all wonder if Shotzi will do something insane in this. Tamina does a very odd Psicosis Bump. Shotzi does SOMETHING to win. That was perfunctory. That was more of a Smackdown dark match. Speaking of drivnig a match up into the ground- it's Sheamus versus Drew McIntyre! Oh, they are changing it up. I'm not going to NOT fast forward through the set-up of this. It's a non-title match! This match is mysterious! This match has some Clubberin'! I love this match! Sheamus and Drew punch each other in the face and the Usos LAND ON THEM! I love this shit. Put THE STRAPS on these two! Sheamus is our FACE in peril! He sells an ass beating like a very bloated Ricky Morton. I love Sheamus CHANNELING a corpse in the corner. These guys have GOT to stay together, as Drew is Randy Orton and Sheamus is Matt Riddle and they make the hot tag. All kinds of booking and run-ins happen and Drew CRUSHES the Usos! Oh man, this is fun. They have GOT to keep McIntyre and Sheamus together, They are such beefy Rock n Roll Express. One fun Main Event and one horrifying ass beating. I'll take it..
  15. Oh Great O'Khan. What are we going to do with you? PUT SOME PANTS ON!
  16. KiLynn King vs Kamille- THE REMATCH! Kamille is the best ON THE STICK~! She is so your aunt who smokes Virginia Slims and drinks scotch during the day. Buff Bushay- oh! Brett Buffshay! He is trained by QT Marshall and Nick Aldis treats him like QT Marshall on Dynamite. Aldis is turning heel! Again! Jax Dane Lariats Eric somebody! Oh gross! Tyrus is in our main event! Not a lot of quality wrestling on this one, it looks like. Well, Cyon is good. Maybe he can work for two. I thought they called Jeremiah Plunkett "Jeremiah Blumpkin" and I chortled to myself. Cyon works for one and Tyrus is perfectly fine plodding around and slowly beating on Alex Taylor for 45 seconds. Cyon tags back out and Tyrus is the Super Worker of the match. This match isn't very good. Not a whole lot to see here.
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