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Introducing CAN'T TEACH SPEED

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God this is such a terrifying post.

 

Okay - for the half a dozen of you who remember, myself, Ed and Big Time Bill Barnwell ran a site called Veteran Presence.

 

That died for awhile since Bill became successful and the domain got all FUBARed.

 

Well - I decided to try one more time - now under the name of CANT TEACH SPEED (http://cantteachspeed.com/)

 

Most of the Veteran Presence content will live there. I am still in the process of moving it over but I needed a break because my eyes are glazing over.

 

There are three new pieces of content right now (all in the slider) but they are the

Rick Upchurch FPOTM

Mika's 299

Sports Statues of Fear

 

A lot of the content will be new to you all anyway since you all ignored Veteran Presence in the first place. I also need to get to making CTS logos

 

A HUGE Thank you to Kevin Wilson for all his help through out this process as I peppered him with questions. I am a chimp.

 

I also created a Twitter since I hate myself (@CantTCHSpeed) (Fuck the guy with the CantTeachSpeed name who tweeted once and that was to shit on Joe Paterno). Give us a follow if you will

 

Umm... so yeah. Please bare with me as I keep moving over content and try to think of new ideas.

 

I am going to throw up now.

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Awesome dude...lemme know if you need anyone to do NBA Forgotten Players...I'm sure I could pound out a page or so on "Fat Lever: Unheralded King Of The Triple Double" or "Mike Mitchell; Or, How The 80's Was So Full Of Star Small Forwards That You Could be a 20+ PPG Game Guy For A Decade And No One Knows Who You Are" or "Joe Barry Carroll: The Derrick Coleman Before Derrick Coleman"...

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I have noticed somethings as I have been going through the archives

 

- We wrote a lot about the Royals since basically Pieman was the only one who reading us back then. So we were appealing to our base.

 

- I think all our hockey things were written by Barnwell. I don't know why that surprised me but it did.

 

- We were doing video game pieces well before they became cool. Of course - thank God we did them before Twitch

 

- I still have a fuckton of sports cards

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So, is this barnwell's new post-grantland home?

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So, is this barnwell's new post-grantland home?

 

As long as he is not expecting to pay his rent

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Fuck yeah awesome.

I remember VP.

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Will there be competitions again to let readers ask for FPTOMs?  I still get a kick out of reading Ed's writeup of Lenn Sakata that I won the chance at.

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Which one of you guys has the Enzo Amore haircut?

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Will there be competitions again to let readers ask for FPTOMs?  I still get a kick out of reading Ed's writeup of Lenn Sakata that I won the chance at.

 

Since you asked

 

Lenn Sakata

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Article title that I found in Lenn Sakata's Japanese wikipedia article:

"Lenn Sakata Replaced as Nuts Manager

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Will there be competitions again to let readers ask for FPTOMs?  I still get a kick out of reading Ed's writeup of Lenn Sakata that I won the chance at.

 

Since you asked

 

Lenn Sakata

 

 

The one thing that's great about all this is that I have little recollection of doing any of this.  I am just going to claim everything I wrote was actually done by a Ganc socko and pretend it never happened.

 

Except for Jooge.  Jooge is real.

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God - I wrote about Ken O'Brien AND Richard Todd

 

I am a glutton for punishment.

 

(And I still shake my head that the O'Brien one made Deadspin)

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Please note that in your USFL Fantasy Draft you both totally glossed over the best tight end in the USFL- Sam Bowers for the Generals.  He went on to do....nothing in the NFL for the Chiefs.

 

And I would have so drafted Johnny Walton, the 2 million year old qb for the Boston Breakers.  He was sooo fucking awesome.  

 

And remember that Joe Gilliam played qb for the Federals.

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I continue to add the old archives from VP

 

I also threw this together today

Washington Bullets You Da Man Videos

 

Oh good lord, I totally forgot about those videos.  And that '94-'95 Bullets team was a really weird mix of pasty white guys (they had Muresan, Gugliotta, Don MacLean AND Jim McIlvaine), average black guys and then Webber and Howard.  Not much of a shock that they finished 40 games under.

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You forgot Tim Legler - whose name I can't save without saying it in the cadence of the song

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I was saddened by the lack of "Mr. Bullet" Ledell Eackles in those videos...

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Yup new content - Quincy Carter FPOTM

 

I also upload the old Doug Kotar FPOTM but updated with the Keith Olbermann video from a couple of years ago. Yeah - watch that and never be happy again.

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Yup new content - Quincy Carter FPOTM

 

I also upload the old Doug Kotar FPOTM but updated with the Keith Olbermann video from a couple of years ago. Yeah - watch that and never be happy again.

Awwwwwww, stupid coke addicted Georgia Bulldog.....

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Yup new content - Quincy Carter FPOTM

 

I also upload the old Doug Kotar FPOTM but updated with the Keith Olbermann video from a couple of years ago. Yeah - watch that and never be happy again.

There was a divey, dying sports bar not far from my house that we used to go to when UT was playing their early out-of-conference games as they gave out free Jell-o shots for every Texas touchdown. One of the saddest things at this bar was a framed Quincy Carter Cowboys jersey that I'm 90% sure they bought at the thrift store across the street (and probably the frame too, for that matter).

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Yup new content - Quincy Carter FPOTM

 

I also upload the old Doug Kotar FPOTM but updated with the Keith Olbermann video from a couple of years ago. Yeah - watch that and never be happy again.

There was a divey, dying sports bar not far from my house that we used to go to when UT was playing their early out-of-conference games as they gave out free Jell-o shots for every Texas touchdown. One of the saddest things at this bar was a framed Quincy Carter Cowboys jersey that I'm 90% sure they bought at the thrift store across the street (and probably the frame too, for that matter).

 

One of the greatest days of my life was when my brother got Jason Garrett jersey when he became coach of the Cowboys- but didn't get Garrett across the back.  So me and my other brother would commend him on remembering Quincy Carter's play-off season.  We laughed and laughed.  

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So I am fairly positive the last thing I wrote for VP was the FPOTM on Ron Dixon

 

I am realizing now that I never ever linked it on the VP site.

 

So I am counting it as NEW CONTENT~!

 

Ron Dixon

 

I also uploaded our 2004 NFL Preview. Hoo Boy - I probably need to start a sports "I'M A FOOL" thread just for things I said in there.

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Isn't that pretty much the entire forum and all of us by now?

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I really am not going to post every time I move old VP content over but I moved two over today just for Dean

 

Marc Wilson - Who was requested by Dean back in the day

 

Brian Sipe - Who must have been requested by Dean because who else would want a Brian Sipe FPOTM

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