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Oh man, now I remember watching The Strange World of Coffin Joe on IFC. That's something I wouldn't show on my own network if I was trying to make some money, you'd get shut the fuck down. One of those films that is impossible to censor.

 

Yeah, not something you'd show before midnight or anything but the guy has White Mama, Black Mama in rotation on El Rey so there ya go.

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Ion just picked up the rights to the complete run of 7TH HEAVEN.  So you guys enjoy your stylized and poetic violence.  I'll be spending my evenings with the Camdens, Jesus, and probably all your granndmas thank you very much.

 

I prefer it that way.  Really.

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Ion just picked up the rights to the complete run of 7TH HEAVEN. So you guys enjoy your stylized and poetic violence. I'll be spending my evenings with the Camdens, Jesus, and probably all your granndmas thank you very much.

I prefer it that way. Really.

IRL laughing out loud at work, by myself in an empty office at a mental health clinic ... not wise. If I get committed, it's your fault piranesi.

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Blame Dish Network.  Feel free to tweet them at @dish and let them know that their refusal to carry El Rey has cost you your career and personal life and resulted in emotional and physical trauma.

 

I am too concerned about Ruthie to bother with this stuff.  She seems to have a good heart, but she's really not living up to the Camden code.  At least she didn't kill another kid like Simon though.  Still.  I'm worried about her giving in to peer pressure, which might lead to

 

1) drugs

2) sex

3) Christian Rock

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Tomorrow night's kung fu double feature is a strange one. 

 

There is a replay of Heroes Of The East, but the second film is the oft-maligned Kung Fu Vengence with David Chang and Lung Ti.  I seem to recall Vengence being a weird blend of noir and wushu and I don't recall liking it very much.   At least it wasn't as horrible as Nine Demons..

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  • 2 weeks later...

Goddamn was Crippled Heroes good. Long as hell but amazing choreography.

 

Tonight's the Romerofest, I'm currently sucking on a swollen tongue and dealing with an injured back so I guess that's how I'm spending much night. So much for fireworks.

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Enjoy that, sucker.  I'll be watching a collection of Kellie Pickler's 4th-of-July-themed short stories that have been turned into a touching omnibus on TBN.

It's called "Why Me? and other Questions I have asked While the Skies Go Boom." (but you literature hounds already know that)

And let me tell you, brothers, when little Kellie Pickler asks God why pet turtles have to die...and God doesn't answer her...and she stares into that sparkler and that screen fades to black...You will finally understand the true meaning of July 4th...and why Kellie Pickler won that Flannery O'Connor award for short fiction.

 

So...I'm pretty set.  Thanks to Dish Network and their seventeen Jesus channels.  I'd hate to drop any of those to make room for something so overly programmed already as what's on El Rey....right?  I...just...

 

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

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So Nightriders is about a travelling medieval carnival troupe that jousts on motorcycles and is halfway a comedy. No idea how after all these years I didn't know the plot behind it. Great to see all the stock Romero cast on here. Plus Stephen King playing Jordy Verrell from Creepshow in the audience saying "these guys are like the pro wrestlers on the TV, they got the bloodbags" as he sticks his finger in his mouth. Must not've mattered about Romero and co. losing their asses because apparently they shot it in a Pennsylvania neighbor's back lot and probably spent all of the money on gas.

 

EDIT: Huh, this ends up surprisingly touching and serious with notes about individuality, closeted homosexuality, police oppression, DIY road life, even a moment's notice of domestic violence... you know George couldn't keep from touching on major issues. And he of course has his "wise black man" as the Merlin character. Really a great character piece. And people take some really sick bumps, too.

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Five Element Ninja is on today.  And some show named Matador debuts soon with the wacky premise of some guy who is a professional soccer player who moonlights as a CIA agent and uses his team as a cover.

 

This fucking World Cup, I'll tell ya.

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Ooooh Fowler!  Let's form an alliance!

While those unquenchable assholes are watching OPIUM AND THE KUNG FU MASTER on El Rey You and me can watch Reba McEntire and John Ratzenberger in the tense thriller WHEN A STRANGER TEXTS on Lifetime Movie Network.  

John Ratzenberger is slow-moving but terrifying.



And when those shameless motherfuckers are wallowing in trash like FIVE ELEMENT NINJA, You and Me can enjoy the tape version of Joy Behar's one woman show "Five Erotic Letters To Myself" on UP (Uplifting Entertainment)..well UP: After Hours.

The Tonys may have snubbed her, but she won 3 Brandy's (Branson, Missouri Award for Excellence in Theater) and I'd rather be serenaded by Ralph Emery than Neal Patrick Harris any day.

We win, buddy.  We win.

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Five Element Ninjas/Chinese Super Ninjas is indeed an outstanding flick.  The lead villain, Michael Chan, is under-rated IMO.  He's a legit badass.  He got his start in movies after provding "security" on film sets.  Until a few years ago, the Hong Kong government's filming permits were very expensive, so producers would pay local Triad gangs for permission to film on streets they provided "protection" for.  Chan was one of those Triads, and was also a championship-level kickboxer, so Chang Cheh approached him to start acting.

 

I already have the kung fu movies El Rey shows, so I'm not too disappointed in not having the channel, but hearing piranesi's rants reminds me of when I lived in an apartment that had free cable.  But it was limited to about 20 channels, kind of like in hotels.  The lineup was voted on by the residents, most of whom were gay dudes and old women.  So no ESPN, but we got WE, Lifetime, and Oxygen.  It irritated me because this was when I still watched the rasslin and Raw was on Spike, which of course the apartment didn't get and the whole gimmick of being able to watch replays via apps/internet wasn't going on yet unless you wanted to fuck around with poor quality torrents.

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I didn't get Comedy Central or Sci-Fi Channel (as it was originally called) for 12 FUCKING YEARS when I was a kid, so I know the feeling. I had to go to my grandmother's to watch Dark Shadows reruns or a hotel to see MST3K. When South Park came out I had to rent the fucking show on VHS.

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FOWLER WE HAVE A NEW ALLY:

 

Morgan Smith Goodwin @MsMorganSmith 19h

I'm not going to lie. I am absolutely watching a Lifetime movie right now. #Lifetime #LifetimeMovies #televisionforwomen?

 

 

YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS RIGHT???????

 

I'm pretty sure this is a direct communication to me in code.  I just need to figure out how which lifetime movie title contains the letters D -R -Y -H- U- M - P -I - N - and G and I'll have the code key.

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 hearing piranesi's rants

 

I like that you linked to piranesi, just in case any of us didn't know who he was. "Oh yeah, that guy!!"

 

Shit, seeing piranesi as the last post in this thread is the only reason I come in here.

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