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Raw is Hey Hey, Hop Hop - 3/29/2021


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Bobby Lashley, transitional champ is such good booking. Also, fuck whoever thought that Baron fucking Corbin was what Lashley needed.

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I demand to know why there was so much Riddle tonight. No, the irony of being mystified at this is not lost on me.

Poor Asuka. She had to sell that table being flipped into her face like being shot for like, five minutes. If it wasn't that long, it sure felt like it. She's also been told to ratchet up the ka-raaaaaazy Japanese character once more. Also, WHY ARE CHAMPIONSHIP OPPONENTS TEAMING UP AGAIN LESS THAN A MONTH APART AGAINST THE SAME TEAM EVEN

After seeing about 70% of the show, I'm amazed at how often seeing something come up made me actually go "aw fuck, this thing." I kinda liked Drew running around fucking up people until it gave me more Riddle. Fuckin' A. The main event angle was pretty good until Corbin showed up. MVP sat back with purpose and let Lashley speak for himself. Very happy until all this broke up the Hurt Business.

Raw tonight was "That was kind of okay, until....: The Show!" So frustrating. I'm sure when I go skim over a recap I'll come back and bitch about some more stuff. 

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Hearing that they have some sort of graphic of birds flying away when Riddle kicks off his flip-flops, and that Riddle forgot his lines on live tv and just sort of left the segment, and that Shane had a photoshopped picture of Braun wearing a dunce cap.

Sounds... not great!

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Didn't watch RAW. If I had, I'd turn off after the opening segment. Fucking stupid breaking up the Hurt Business. One of the few acts on WWE and on RAW worth something. The Hurt Business saved all four members giving them an identity and a direction.

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Hurt Business breaking up is bullshit of the highest order. Shelton and Cedric deserve better.

Drew running around the locker room trying to fight everyone did little to make me want to cheer him. He just came across as an asshole.

The new Day segment with AJ & Omos and subsequent AJ/Woods match was all solid. Was nice to see Omos do some damage and speak a bit more.

Shayna/Naomi was fine while it lasted, but it pretty much served as a segment to set up the multi-team tag titles match we know is coming at Wrestlemania.

The Rhea/Asuka segment was solid. The stuff with Nia and Shayna again felt unnecessary and odd with them clearly building for the tag titles match at Wrestlemania already.

Drew/Ricochet was good while it lasted. The ending segment with Lashley was solid enough, but I'm just too pissed off about Hurt Business to fully give a damn.

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So in one episode, they had:

  • Lashley break up with The Hurt Business, despite being the best thing on the show
  • Lashley beat up Alexander and Benjamin
  • A continued bounty on Drew's head
  • McIntyre chump most of the entire locker room, despite hardly anyone looking to collect on the bounty
  • McIntyre beat both Ricochet and Ali, after winning a handicap match last week
  • Corbin come over from SmackDown to help Lashley take down McIntyre

All of this to seemingly present Lashley as a super baddie so Drew can get cheered at WM.

(holds nose)

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The problem is they've made Lashley look unstoppable for months so sure, Drew can beat up Slapjack's mother's ex-boyfriend and someone who I don't think has been on TV for a while but the fans will see Lashley as legit as well and this build is so stupid just for the sake of a clear face/heel story. Shit, Roman's a big enough heel to occupy that space across two world championship matches, let Lashley/Drew be tweener/face but noooooooo. Let's destroy this successful stable that's gotten our champion to where he is out of nowhere for no good reason! Alexander and Benjamin suddenly looked like chumps again walking to the ring by themselves.

No more of this mess with Shane and Lloyd Braun. I do not choo-choo-choose this. Strowman needs to absolutely kill Shane. I imagine they're saving juice for the triple threat main event, but Strowman making zero-offense Shane a bloody mess in a cage for five straight minutes to where he's actually kinda scary again is the only way to salvage this. By the way dummies, isn't Snowpiercer on a channel that advertises your competition?

Two different times I came back to the show and either the first thing I saw when changing channels was Alexa Bliss or Randy Orton. When Bliss was laughing at the end of her goddamn playground bullshit thing I had to do the "laugh along with something and turn it into sobbing" gag. Why is this happening? Please end. Just stop. I've never said this before but if one of these two could suffer a minor injury that just takes them out for a few weeks now's the time. Oh who am I kidding, they'll just put someone else in that dumb getup.

According to this recap I'm reading, I even missed a Riddle segment with Asuka. Whew, two people I don't want to see in any backstage stuff. I want to see Asuka wrestle, but not talk if this is what they're going to have her doing.

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And by the way, how the fuck were the women's tag champs sort of made to look like losers and then come out like, fifteen minutes later to say how awesome you are while the champion is standing right there?

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I noticed they made sure to say that he Hurt Business was done for Shelton and Cedric so it kind of makes me wonder if they'll be replaced.  That's the only thing that I'm kind of holding on to because if they just fully dissolved it for good then this is one of the dumbest things this company has done in quite some time, maybe ever.

I'm not going to say watch AEW instead as y'all can do and watch whatever you want.  But fucking hell there's so many better things to do than watch this shit especially when it's apparent that they don't care at all about what the fans want.

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Show was noteworthy for all the wrong reasons.  Hopefully, they have a plan for the Hurt Business because, otherwise, splitting them up was shortsighted.  I’m assuming it was done to further cement Bobby as the heel at WM, but I’m not at all certain that this accomplishes that.  In general, I feel like the HB still had legs as a heel-tweeter unit.

The Riddle segment was hilarious, though, if that wasn’t scripted, and he really admitted he forgot his lines and walked off, he should be kept away from live mics.

The AJ-New Day segment brought back memories of the Street Profitts-Viking Raiders feud from Heyman’s reign of terror, but was worthwhile for Alvarez losing his mind over it on WOR afterward.  Well, that and Omos’ mauve shirt.

Alexa predicting the Fiend would murder Randy Orrin was strange, since Orton is somehow the heel in this feud.  Vince has given me zero reason to cheer the Fiend and Alexa but apparently that doesn’t matter in the slightest.

 

 

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No. WCW shouldn't have won. I know you brought this up before, but saying WCW should have won ignores how fucking awful WCW was. They dropped the ball on their most popular angle ever with Sting and Hogan and things got continually worse from there. I mean, if you think WCW should have won, then you're basically advocating for the continued hotshotting of titles, multiple reigns by Jeff Jarrett, botch fests with Kronik and Jindrak/Ohare, Mark Madden screaming "SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES," Tony Schiavone getting pushed out because he didn't look good enough, embarrassing crowds, etc.

Look, we got a peak of what WCW would have looked like if it survived and it was TNA. If that's what you want, then great, but let's stop pretending WCW surviving and WWE dying out would have been good considering that Jamie Kellner was killing WCW anyway. So great. You would have two dead promotions.

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11 minutes ago, Craig H said:

No. WCW shouldn't have won. I know you brought this up before, but saying WCW should have won ignores how fucking awful WCW was. They dropped the ball on their most popular angle ever with Sting and Hogan and things got continually worse from there. I mean, if you think WCW should have won, then you're basically advocating for the continued hotshotting of titles, multiple reigns by Jeff Jarrett, botch fests with Kronik and Jindrak/Ohare, Mark Madden screaming "SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES," Tony Schiavone getting pushed out because he didn't look good enough, embarrassing crowds, etc.

Look, we got a peak of what WCW would have looked like if it survived and it was TNA. If that's what you want, then great, but let's stop pretending WCW surviving and WWE dying out would have been good considering that Jamie Kellner was killing WCW anyway. So great. You would have two dead promotions.

Counterpoint: if WCW won, they wouldn’t have kept a monopoly for long, because they would still be stuck in “territory mode,” allowing another company to rise up as a challenger.

Also; tell me that 2000 WCW is any worse than 2020-1 WWE. I dare you.

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They wouldn't have kept a monopoly for long because they were getting fucking cancelled. If the country's two biggest promotions die, then wrestling overall is seen as toxic. One would have gone bankrupt and the other would have been outright cancelled. That's not exactly a good look for anyone else wanting to "rise up." 

For fucks sake...WWE fucking sucks, but 2000 WCW had Medusa as Cruiserweight champion, the umpteenth revival of the nWo, Jeff Jarrett: Main Eventer, Medusa feuding with Ed Ferrara cosplaying as JR, putting the title on Benoit WHEN YOU KNOW HE'S FUCKING LEAVING THE COMPANY THE NEXT DAY, literally everything that happened with Goldberg, Ahmed Johnson was brought in as a big deal, AHMED JOHNSON AND ALL 500 FUCKING POUNDS OF HIM WAS BROUGHT IN AS A BIG DEAL, Ron fucking Harris challenged for the World Title in a main event, drunk Scott Hall, Duggan became TV champion because he found it in the trash, WCW held a PPV in Indy in front of maybe 1000 people or less where Sid snapped his leg in half, New Blood vs Millionaires Club was maybe the dumbest major angle ever putting the old and tired guys fans were done with as the babyfaces, all of the shoot promo stuff that seemingly happened every week, Russo cussing out Hogan on air, DAVID ARQUETTE: WORLD CHAMPION, dancing Tank Abbot, and so much more.

WWE isn't good right now, but it's not that bad. SmackDown continues to be good, there's nothing from WCW 2000 that was nearly as good as the Hurt Business carrying Raw for the entire pandemic era, there were no feel good moments like Lashley finally winning the universal championship, etc.

 

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So, the ONLY way to salvage the Hurt Business thing is for Cedric and Shelton to be able to come down because they aren't part of the Hurt Business anymore, but even that is convoluted and unnecessary. I can't recall any year where plans were changed for the worse this severely so soon before Mania.

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1 hour ago, Craig H said:

They wouldn't have kept a monopoly for long because they were getting fucking cancelled. If the country's two biggest promotions die, then wrestling overall is seen as toxic. One would have gone bankrupt and the other would have been outright cancelled. That's not exactly a good look for anyone else wanting to "rise up." 

For fucks sake...WWE fucking sucks, but 2000 WCW had Medusa as Cruiserweight champion, the umpteenth revival of the nWo, Jeff Jarrett: Main Eventer, Medusa feuding with Ed Ferrara cosplaying as JR, putting the title on Benoit WHEN YOU KNOW HE'S FUCKING LEAVING THE COMPANY THE NEXT DAY, literally everything that happened with Goldberg, Ahmed Johnson was brought in as a big deal, AHMED JOHNSON AND ALL 500 FUCKING POUNDS OF HIM WAS BROUGHT IN AS A BIG DEAL, Ron fucking Harris challenged for the World Title in a main event, drunk Scott Hall, Duggan became TV champion because he found it in the trash, WCW held a PPV in Indy in front of maybe 1000 people or less where Sid snapped his leg in half, New Blood vs Millionaires Club was maybe the dumbest major angle ever putting the old and tired guys fans were done with as the babyfaces, all of the shoot promo stuff that seemingly happened every week, Russo cussing out Hogan on air, DAVID ARQUETTE: WORLD CHAMPION, dancing Tank Abbot, and so much more.

WWE isn't good right now, but it's not that bad. SmackDown continues to be good, there's nothing from WCW 2000 that was nearly as good as the Hurt Business carrying Raw for the entire pandemic era, there were no feel good moments like Lashley finally winning the universal championship, etc.

 

don't forget Scott Steiner bringing a tiger to the ring 🙂

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There was a consistency to how awful WCW at that stage was. All the people who want the good ol' days back or who think the wrong promotion lived forget the kind of shitshow Nitro and Thunder were from top to bottom. Yes, there have been moments where parts of Raw or SD have been as bad as 2000/2001 WCW or an entire episode was maybe as bad as a Nitro or Thunder from that time. I'm not denying that. From start to finish or week to week though, it's not that consistently terrible and there are legitimately good episodes from time to time. SD more than Raw.

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