2014 NFL - WEEK FOUR

[E.J.]

The time management in this Eagles - Niners game is laughable

[Gonzo]

Teddy motherfuckin' Bridgewater, y'all.

[jaedmc]

I've been dicked by McCoy two weeks in a row.

[Niners Fan in CT]

Ugly win but could not afford to go 1-3 so fuck it...  Still a ton of problems and really Chip has to be kicking himself also...

[Death From Above]

So uh... the Saints sort of aren't very good if this first half is any indication.

[Lawful Metal]

 

give that man a raise! 

[Burgundy LaRue]

The Saints are trying to Hulk up!

[Burgundy LaRue]

Hulk up attempt was for not.  Dallas will win.

[APO]

My observations from today's Jags game:

 

1. Blake Bortles is the fucking man. He'll have his rookie fuck-ups like the Weddle INT obviously, but he will be a star soon enough.

 

2. Poz is terrible(this has been known for 3 years now, but needs repeating).

 

3. I would stab a bunny for a competent FS to pair with Cyprien.

 

4. Speaking of Cyp, he basically shut down Gates. Kid is on his way to being an absolute stud.

 

5. I'm personally done with Jedd Fisch's pussy-ass play-calling. Killed the offense in the second half because of wimpy dink-n-dunk shit instead of testing SD down the field.

 

6. Blake Bortles is fucking awesome.

 

7. Winston Guy(Royal's first TD is all because Guy got burnt like toast) and Josh Evans are terrible. THE THINGS I'D DO FOR A GOOD FS.

 

8. Shoelace isn't a starting-caliber NFL RB, but he can be dangerous as hell if he's used in space(whenever Fisch figures out what that is).

 

9. I'm also done with Cecil Shorts and his exploding hamstrings.

 

10. FUCK BOB BABICH WITH A SHIT-CRUSTED SPIKED DILDO. They're called "half-time adjustments," jackass.

 

11. The D-line played well and the O-line played okay.

 

12. Did I mention that Bortles is awesome?

 

13. If either Guy or Evans end up on Antonio Brown next week, they might as well go ahead and put 6 up on the scoreboard.

[ebbie]

Did ESPN really make a big deal of that Cowboy for having four consecutive 100 yd games? Oh, media bias. What would sports coverage be without you?

[Phantom Lord]

I can't believe The Jets (and by Jets I mean Rex Ryan) are willing to spite the fans once again. Geno Smith just isn't the big time QB that can handle New York that the Jets want. If they keep going like this it's going to be Sanchez/Tebow all over again...only thing is Michael Vick is eons more talented than Tim Tebow ever was. But remember when the fans were begging Ryan to put Tebow in around week three or four and he didn't do it till like week nine and even then he went with the third stringer.

 

Is the need for Rex Ryan always having to be right more important than winning?

 

Wait...i think I answered my own question there.

[J.T.]

Jesus, the Steelers lost to the Bucs and the Ravens won.  Football is once again on track to break my heart by Week 7.

[jaedmc]

Did any body else get immense pleasures from the shots of Rob Ryan's face as he watched his defense get pooped on by his old team?

 

It was this beautiful symphony of bewilderment as he desperately tried to look like he could figure it all out, like he was preteneding to see the world like it was all 0s and 1s, and only he could decode the Matrix. And then Tony Romo would find the endzone again.

[RonL21]

Ol' Jerry couldn't stop smiling last night.

[Burgundy LaRue]

Rex Ryan is offensively inept and has no idea how to develop a young QB. Geno Smith may not be their answer for a franchise QB, but Michael Vick definitely isn't.  How long does anyone think Vick will be around, and that's if he stays healthy?

 

It was the same thing with Sanchez-Tebow.  Sanchez was tanking, but if Tebow is your solution--your problems run deeper than who's behind the center.

 

I would say clean house with a brand new coaching staff, but the Jets will still have that idiot Woody Johnson as an owner.  So they're doomed to fail.  They'll entertain us, but it'll be various degrees of suck.

[JRGoldman]

Did ESPN really make a big deal of that Cowboy for having four consecutive 100 yd games? Oh, media bias. What would sports coverage be without you?

Not defending ESPN, but the stat was 4 consecutive 100 yard games with a TD to start the season, which had only been done by Emmitt, OJ and Jim Brown.

[J.T.]

Thank you Giants for destroying the Redskins.  My weekend with my girlfriend went exceptionally well with that asswhipping setting the tone.

[glfpunk]

Did ESPN really make a big deal of that Cowboy for having four consecutive 100 yd games? Oh, media bias. What would sports coverage be without you?

 

No, it's consecutive 100yd games with a touchdown.  So at 4 Murray is tied with Smith and behind OJ at 5 and Jim Brown at 6. 

 

Edit: JRG beat me by one minute

[Burgundy LaRue]

 

I don't think Dennis Allen will be coming back to America with his about to be former team.

 

Funeral at sea?  I'll take that bet with Marky Mark Davis in charge.

 

 

Josh and I are soothsayers!  Need your palm read?  Call us now! *said in Miss Cleo voice*

 

EDIT:  Seems like the tweet that claimed Allen had been fired has now been deleted.  Hmmmm.

[RIPPA]

Yeah - he tweeted it and the deleted it and then tried to act like nothing happened.

 

He eventually did apologize for "bad sources"

[RIPPA]

Well Morris Claiborne doesn't have to worry about being benched anymore

Since Dallas is pretty positive he suffered a torn ACL last night

[paragon11]

Bucs WR Mike Evans out 2-3 weeks with a groin injury, per Schefter on Twitter

[Death From Above]

Apparently the Bills are benching EJ Manuel for Kyle Orton?

 

Okay then.

[Raziel]

RETURN OF THE NECKBEARD!!!

 

Does Buffalo have any good skanks to sword?

[paragon11]

Apparently the Bills are benching EJ Manuel for Kyle Orton?

 

Okay then.

 

Does not compute.

 

Is Doug Marrone trying to beat Dennis Allen to the unemployment line?

 

Terry