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[MM16] R2A: HECHICERO vs. BROCK LESNAR


MM16: 2nd RDA - HECHICERO vs. BROCK LESNAR  

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  1. 1. CHOOSE ONE



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That tag match with Guerrero is some of the worst shit I have ever seen.  Like I'm stunned by how horrible it is.  My god. 

 

Let us start at the start which is how you would do this if you believed in linear time.  Within 15 seconds, Caifan ends up on the apron and Ultimo grabs him by the leg in only what could be charitably called a sweep.  It's more like he grabbed his leg and Caifan laid down on the apron.  Suffice to say, it could barely be called a bump.  Yet it is enough to hold Caifan in stasis as Ultimo runs the ropes to baseball slide into Caifan and shoot him to the floor.  I guess if you like sick bumps, yay? But there is no destination without a journey and the transitions are some of the worst.  You can see this later when the rudos set themselves up for the lifting dropkick from Avisman and end up standing there like morons while the spot comes together over the course of several hours. Perhaps the worst example of these transitional gaffs come from Ultimo hitting a second rope gourdbuster for a 2 count.  Ultimo sits there helpfully as Caifan gets up and puts on a stretch plum while Guerrero reacts with all the emotion of an unconscious frat boy.  Then Caifan turns it into a crucifix for a 2 count in a laughable attempt that shows that hooking both shoulders should not be optional.

 

You might think that from my description that I am casting most of the blame for this atrocity on Ultimo and Caifan which is fair since they were a travesty.  Avisman was almost a complete nonfactor who was there for 3/4 speed roll up spots.  Hechicero for being 'multidemensional' shows off his ability to lukewarmly brawl and throw some really slow dropkicks that didn't make a lot of contact.  He was the least offensive thing in this match but  this match was offensively bad.  I can't even capture just how bad this thing was.  Turn on any 1 minute span of this encounter and you will be able to find a gaping flaw.  From chop exchanges that should have ended up in a kiss to a blown finish to an elimination that you won't even realize is an elimination until 2 minutes later.

 

Just a debacle.

I also fucking hated that match. Offensively bad psychology and selling.

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Triple H and Lesnar didn't click but Triple H and Undertaker did..   I know they are polarizing but their Mania matches were awesome to me and I would rank them ahead of Bryan/Reigns at Fast Lane but not ahead of Lesnar/Reigns.

 

Lesnar/Reigns is my MOTY.  I don't think Lesnar not clicking with Hunter should be held against him. It happens sometimes and those matches weren't in this voting period. 

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Triple H and Lesnar didn't click but Triple H and Undertaker did..   I know they are polarizing but their Mania matches were awesome to me and I would rank them ahead of Bryan/Reigns at Fast Lane but not ahead of Lesnar/Reigns.

 

Lesnar/Reigns is my MOTY.  I don't think Lesnar not clicking with Hunter should be held against him. It happens sometimes and those matches weren't in this voting period.

I was simply bringing that up in agreement with El Dragon saying that Reigns is better than HHH.

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Brock is allowed to carry himself in a separate universe because dude's IN a different universe. Everything he does makes the most sense because everything feels more real. It feels in tune with how this idealized Brock Lesnar would actually behave. He is allowed to be a greater threat because he is a greater threat. Game plans stop being traditional WWE matches and start being a test of how you stop this guy because that's what would really happen if everything was presented 100% legit. He's a kayfabe blur in a land of Dolph Zigglers saying they have the best matches. He doesn't care about the best matches, he cares about hurting people. It's refreshing.

 

What I think people ignore most often when they talk about Brock as a performer is the little things. Laughing in the Undertaker's face, stepping on Ambrose, the complete mauling the night after Mania, the original "suplex city" trash talk. He is not only this unique physical monster, he's got a unique personality. It forces people to pay attention. Hell, in some cases if they're not paying attention they get hit with a car door, but I'm digressing slightly. The man is a force of nature. He's the most special wrestler on the planet because there isn't a human like him on the planet.

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Seems like Odessa is the only guy who realises this is Hechicero vs Lesnar, and not people who like Lesnar vs people who don't like Lesnar. And the worst part is, Lesnar's going to win so we've got at least another round of circular arguments to look forward to.

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I was going to put this in the Barbaro Cavernario thread but it isn't a full match.

 

Even if you hate lucha - you can see a Caveman discovering fire and Rey Hechicero beating the shit out of the former Sin Cara

 

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I am completely serious when I ask the following: Where did the "Bork Lazer" phrase originate? Was it one specific sign held up at a PPV?

I thought it came from Fire Pro using it to get around copyright and then people started using it on YouTube to get around the WWE finding their videos

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Brock Lesnar's Fire Pro name is Monster Gaea. The Hardy Boyz, meanwhile are Noisy Kevin (Jeff) and Silent Jim (Matt). Shane McMahon is Junk Bastard.

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