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NBA 2015-16: 2nd Half


Dolfan in NYC

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I'm glad we're over this Warriors thing.  It stopped being fun and awesome a fucking minute ago, people.  HATE HATE HATE.

 

If we were making a top 5 list of NBA people who need a punch in the mouth there would be 4 Warriors on my list.  The 5th guy would somehow still be Derek Fisher even though he is unemployed.

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I'm glad we're over this Warriors thing. It stopped being fun and awesome a fucking minute ago, people. HATE HATE HATE.

If we were making a top 5 list of NBA people who need a punch in the mouth there would be 4 Warriors on my list. The 5th guy would somehow still be Derek Fisher even though he is unemployed.

Does Bill Simmons count as an NBA person for the purposes of punching? If so, D-Fish is not top 5.

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Weird question:

Is this year's Memphis Grizzlies team the best team that could also beat the hell out of every other team in parking lot fistfights?

 

That's a very weird but interesting question.  A few teams I thought of off the top of my head:

 

1994-95 Knicks - This gives the best heavyweight battle in Z-Bo vs. Oakley, plus then you have Mason and a bunch of guys that would fight dirty like Derek Harper, Doc Rivers, John Starks, Charles Smith and Greg Anthony.  

 

1996-97 Heat - Mourning always seemed like he was ready to fight, PJ Brown, Kurt Thomas and Ed Pinckney could probably wreck some dudes and they had the yet to be crowned dirtiest player in the game, Bruce Bowen.  Maybe not enough crazy to get the job done, but it might be interesting.

 

2004-05 Pacers - Artest and Cap'n Jack provide more than enough crazy to balance Barnes and Lance, Jermaine O'Neal and Dale Davis give you a couple of big guys that would be ready to throw down, and Jamaal Tinsley would be ready to go.  Bonus points for Scot Pollard and Birdman squaring off in the goofy white backup center battle.  Do the Pacers get the edge if it's in a strip club parking lot?

 

But the best answer might be the 2001-02 Jail Blazers.  Young Z-Bo, Sheed, Ruben Patterson and Bonzi Wells, Dale Davis, Shwan Kemp...as long as they could keep from fighting each other this would be a pretty solid matchup.

 

Any glaring omissions?

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Weird question:

Is this year's Memphis Grizzlies team the best team that could also beat the hell out of every other team in parking lot fistfights?

 

That's a very weird but interesting question.  A few teams I thought of off the top of my head:

 

1994-95 Knicks - This gives the best heavyweight battle in Z-Bo vs. Oakley, plus then you have Mason and a bunch of guys that would fight dirty like Derek Harper, Doc Rivers, John Starks, Charles Smith and Greg Anthony.  

 

1996-97 Heat - Mourning always seemed like he was ready to fight, PJ Brown, Kurt Thomas and Ed Pinckney could probably wreck some dudes and they had the yet to be crowned dirtiest player in the game, Bruce Bowen.  Maybe not enough crazy to get the job done, but it might be interesting.

 

2004-05 Pacers - Artest and Cap'n Jack provide more than enough crazy to balance Barnes and Lance, Jermaine O'Neal and Dale Davis give you a couple of big guys that would be ready to throw down, and Jamaal Tinsley would be ready to go.  Bonus points for Scot Pollard and Birdman squaring off in the goofy white backup center battle.  Do the Pacers get the edge if it's in a strip club parking lot?

 

But the best answer might be the 2001-02 Jail Blazers.  Young Z-Bo, Sheed, Ruben Patterson and Bonzi Wells, Dale Davis, Shwan Kemp...as long as they could keep from fighting each other this would be a pretty solid matchup.

 

Any glaring omissions?

 

 

I think this is a great starter list for the conversation. I also think we'd have to toss in one of the Bad Boys teams that won the title. Laimbeer was a henchman, but Rick Mahorn and early Rodman would throw fists in a second. They're clearly the best team of the lot but I still think they don't have the depth of sheer madmen who would fight in a hotel lobby the other teams do.

Out of the teams you mentioned...

1) That Pacers team was really good. They were probably the best team in the East the year of The Malice at the Palace. But the East that year (and as always) was pretty ass. They were the team on this list closest to winning a title and we really do deserve a planet where Captain Jack is an assistant coach on this year's Grizz squad.

2) The overlap of the tough Knicks/Heat era resulted in the "drag Jeff Gundy across the court like a ragdoll" brawl, which was one of the best moments of my formative stage. I think that era Knicks is a better team than the Grizzlies and might survive The Wyatts vs. The Shield of real life NBA brawls.

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Another question:

Who is the most talented fake tough-guy in NBA history? A legitimately talented NBA player who thinks he's tough but clearly isn't?

My initial gut tells me Carmelo. Melo's "fight" on the Nuggets against the Knicks where he back-peddaled away after sucker punching Mardy Collins was great. Carmelo also waiting to jump KG after the game because of the "Honey Nut" comment while in the presence of multiple TV cameras and police was a studio prankster move at its best.
 

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The Top 5 punch list is "The Los Angeles Clippers."

 

The list is

 

1. Draymond

2. Steph

3. Bogut

4. KERR (that cocky little prick!)

5. Fisher

 

Although I would be willing to switch Blake G in for Fisher.  Compromise.

 

The Grizzlies are obviously the ones doing the punching in this dream scenario.

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Another question:

Who is the most talented fake tough-guy in NBA history? A legitimately talented NBA player who thinks he's tough but clearly isn't?

 

 

I don't think Melo thinks he is tough.  You just have an irrational hatred of Melo.  He got caught in a no win situation with the honey nut thing.  KG is clearly the answer to this question.  He spent his entire career acting tough to rookies and skinny foreigners, but never brought it towards an actual tough guy.

 

Currently the answer is Serge Ibaka.  Barely talented enough to make the cut, but has done his fair share of dirty shit on the court.  And not the bad ass dirty stuff like Z-bo choking Blake, more like punching Blake in the nuts when he isn't looking.

 

The most famous example of Ibaka's fake toughness was the MWP/Harden elbow situation.  It's hard to find now, but I swear there was a camera angle that caught Ibaka's movements from the elbow all the way through.  This goof starts sprinting at MWP from across the court, MWP turns around, hikes up his shorts and enters a drunken boxing stance.  Ibaka goes from full sprint to standing still just like that.  Hilarious.

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Russ dropped a 25-11-20 line tonight!!  That's a new career high in assists.

 

What's with all these triple doubles this year?  I've come to expect it from Russ, Draymond and Rondo in the right match ups, but yikes they are coming from everywhere.  This has to be some sort of modern NBA record for trip dubs in a season.

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Russ dropped a 25-11-20 line tonight!!  That's a new career high in assists.

 

What's with all these triple doubles this year?  I've come to expect it from Russ, Draymond and Rondo in the right match ups, but yikes they are coming from everywhere.  This has to be some sort of modern NBA record for trip dubs in a season.

50 this year. There were 78 in 88-89. There were a lot in a 4 year stretch. 61 in 89-90, 78 in 88-89, 53 in 87-88, 62 in 86-87. The 50 this year is the first time there has been 50 or more since 96-97. 

 

Since 83-84 there have been only 7 triple doubles with 10 steals. None since 86. There have been 64 with 10 blocks. 

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SA Spurs owner & CEO Peter Holt has stepped down, leaving his wife in charge.  

 

Since this is the Spurs I'm instantly discounting some kind of scandal, because they're too fucking boring to have one.  So... health?  

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The Top 5 punch list is "The Los Angeles Clippers."

 

The list is

 

1. Draymond

2. Steph

3. Bogut

4. KERR (that cocky little prick!)

5. Fisher

 

Anyone who constantly chews on their mouth guard while letting it hang out of their mouth is #1 on the list of people who need punching.

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