October Horrordays

[Brian Fowler]

There are a couple things missing, for the record.

 

On the previous blu-ray of Part V, there was a panel discussion from the 25 anniversary convention that makes up the backbone of the 25 Years of Terror doc about IV and V that is missing for some unknown reason (seriously, it otherwise appears to be a direct port of that blu-ray) and there was a commentary track for part 4 on the Divimax DVD (which I sadly no longer have) that was missing on both the original blu-ray and this new release.

 

 

But, on the other hand...  HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[piranesi]

[Brian Fowler]

 

It's interrupted by the arrival of... Rachel's friend Tina (Wendy Kaplan), who has a personality somewhere between a frat boy and a rodeo clown. It takes all of ten seconds for us to decide that we absolutely fucking hate Tina; we don't learn her name for about five minutes.

-Tim Brayton http://antagonie.blogspot.com/2008/08/summer-of-blood-blah-of-michael-myers.html

[nate]

After this set comes out, how does any company ever re-release any new cash grab edition of "Halloween" with a straight face?

[piranesi]

 

Tina Williams is a character memorable for the energy, humor, and heart Wendy Kaplan brings to the role and the film, but also for the surprising amount of emotional resonance and clarity included in the package. Kaplan's is a full, delightful, shaded, and humanized character arc that's way more than the script called for.

- some other person with a free blog but also with a heart and a soul http://emmastoneinzombieland.blogspot.com/2010/07/performance-review-wendy-kaplan-in-5.html

[Skeeball Wizard]

Wondering if you guys could help me find the name of a film. Its a mid Eighties slasher type, I remember the killer's name being Bartholomew , he had I believe a green mask or face, tag line was "first there was Freddy, then there was Jason, now there's Bartholomew". It was on Pay Per View in Minnesota, on Rodgers Cable, and I remember watching the trailer about a thousand times, played on a double feature with the Rock n Roll horror classic Trick or Treat. I've been trying figure out what this movie is for a good 25 years now, any help is greatly appreciated .

[Brian Fowler]

 

 

Tina Williams is a character memorable for the energy, humor, and heart Wendy Kaplan brings to the role and the film, but also for the surprising amount of emotional resonance and clarity included in the package. Kaplan's is a full, delightful, shaded, and humanized character arc that's way more than the script called for.

- some other person with a free blog but also with a heart and a soul http://emmastoneinzombieland.blogspot.com/2010/07/performance-review-wendy-kaplan-in-5.html

 

 

 

Holy shit, there is someone else that likes her!

 

Seriously, before you started praising her a couple years ago on this blog, I had never heard of anyone that didn't fucking HATE the character.

 

I'm not saying Tina is THE reason why the entire slasher subgenre collapsed in 1989, just that she is one of the main reasons.

[Curt McGirt]

Wondering if you guys could help me find the name of a film. Its a mid Eighties slasher type, I remember the killer's name being Bartholomew , he had I believe a green mask or face, tag line was "first there was Freddy, then there was Jason, now there's Bartholomew". It was on Pay Per View in Minnesota, on Rodgers Cable, and I remember watching the trailer about a thousand times, played on a double feature with the Rock n Roll horror classic Trick or Treat. I've been trying figure out what this movie is for a good 25 years now, any help is greatly appreciated .

 

Sounds like Unmasked Part 25 from the tagline, maybe, only it was Jackson and not Bartholemew http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096343/

[glfpunk]

I like how on IMDB it has the Director, Writers, and Stars and one of the writers listed is William Shakespeare.  I'm sure he'd love to know he's getting some cred for Umasked Part 25.

[HumanChessgame]

Wondering if you guys could help me find the name of a film. Its a mid Eighties slasher type, I remember the killer's name being Bartholomew , he had I believe a green mask or face, tag line was "first there was Freddy, then there was Jason, now there's Bartholomew". It was on Pay Per View in Minnesota, on Rodgers Cable, and I remember watching the trailer about a thousand times, played on a double feature with the Rock n Roll horror classic Trick or Treat. I've been trying figure out what this movie is for a good 25 years now, any help is greatly appreciated .

 

Horror House on Highway 5

 

[piranesi]

Google results: "Halloween 5" "I loved tina"

 

105,000,000 results

 

 

 

Google results: "Brian Fowler" "good taste in films"

No results found for "brian fowler" "good taste in films".

Results for brian fowler good taste in films (without quotes):

 

 

Strong consensus on both referendums, it seems.

[Skeeball Wizard]

That's it, Horror House on Highway 5! It looks even more ridiculous than I remember, which is understandable, considering I was 5 or 6 when I saw the trailer. Thanks a million Chessgame, this is the part where I return to my home planet.

[Roman]

... Bartholomew? Sure, neither 'Michael' nor 'Jason' sound very intimidating, but Bartholomew...

[Niners Fan in CT]

Okay, here's another. All I remember is someone getting choked with a garden hose and I believe the killer wore some type of mask. It was a slasher flick and had to have been popular enough because it was on late night regular television. We're talking probably early 90's though the movie could have been from the 80s. The reason I bring it up is because for whatever the reason it scared the shit out of me and I had nightmares.

[piranesi]

First official "Let's sit down and watch a Halloween movie" movie night tonight.  We've had DEAD SNOW sitting in the queue forever and given the raptures over the trailer for the sequel it seemed like a good, ambitious start.

It wasn't though exactly what I wanted.  It was great, really well made Raimi/Wright/Jackson tribute that had some excellent moments of clever film-making and some great deadpan humor...like bizarrely Norwegian "these people are practically automatons" moments of utter emotionless observation about, like, having your own neck opened up or noticing you've got an arm off.

I also enjoyed how completely inept the three male stooge characters were, but how two of them fell perfectly well into berserkerism when there was literally no other option.  I didn't "care" about them in those moments, like I did about Nick Frost and Simon Pegg in SotD, perhaps because instead of being characters with stories, they were meant to be self-conscious film-nerd nods to American slasher archetypes.

I think I was a little disappointed that it took the turn from fairly straight ahead (if CABIN-IN-THE-WOODS-ironic) horror movie to Peter Jackson splatter black comedy. ...and yes, it was filmed before Cabin was released and Cabin was filming probably at the same time this was....which is kind of impressive and kind of a reminder of how much "ironic horror" has claimed so much territory that used to belong to, you know, "horror."

But I can't fault them for their technique and creativity.  Although maybe they could have spent a little more time trying to invent new visuals instead of trying to recreate their favorites from other movies...but it was that kind of a thing.  A choice, not a mistake.

So a great movie for some horror nerds who want to have a laugh at goofy gore....but past the first 40 minutes or so, not moody or scary enough to fit into what I'm looking for in a Halloween opening night movie.

 

I HEREBY DECLARE THIS OCTOBER IRONY-FREE!!!

[assfax]

Guy on the first page that hipped me to Cat 3 Hong Kong shit... Thanks.  I've only watched Ebola Syndrome thus far.  Many belly laughs have ensued.  It's like if Troma had government backing.

[nate]

Funny about watching "Ebola Syndrome" these days ...

... actually, no; nothing funny about it. Carry on.

[piranesi]

So the actual tagline of HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY 5 was "Watch this film or die!"

 

That just seems, really unenforceable.  Especially with no time limit.  I could schedule it for my 99th birthday, and you kind of can't touch me.

[Curt McGirt]

If I get a Hong Kong Category III film I don't wanna watch for Havoc, you owe me liquor money. Not aimed at assfax, just saying anyone cruel enough to recommend it. SAME THING for the Troll II/Santa's Slay jokers, only you owe double. I'm a cheap date, but MST3K-level stuff I have to dig for again is the price of a cheap handle and chaser.

[piranesi]

SCREAMTIME: (filmed in 1983 but released in 1986)

I had no idea what this is going in, but the cover art on Netflix was great:



It is an expression of just how tantalizing we are to them (them being all the different kinds of monsters out there).  This woman is being groped by a ghoul, felt up by a skeleton, grabbed by a corpse and licked by an evil puppet, while a banshee/ghost/monk guy is unable to sit still and let this all play out.  He just can't contain himself and has to get to axing.  None of them can.  They just want us so much.

It is nothing if not a reminder that each of us is loved.  Each of us is desirable...that is to say, to every type of monster and horror and ghoul and demon, each of us is desirable.  No matter how bad things may be going for you on the human romance front, your body is a wonderland to every Dracula and Mummy and Leprechaun and Tremor Worm and Warlock out there.  I had never really thought about it, but the legions and worlds of horrific supernatural beings floating in and out of our plane are really consumed with an unquenchable lust for me...and you...and that's something to hold on to.   You are wanted.

And that's just the front.  Nevermind the undead skeleton holding up his homemade collages with so much pride on the back cover.  Like he's doing a book report or something.  Love that guy.

So the promise of an as yet unseen American horror movie from the golden moment of 1983 was too much to pass by.  Well shit...it wasn't an American movie from the golden era.  It was yet another UK Omnibus of which there were so many in the 1970s, a sad last gasp from an earlier era.  But THIS ONE WAS DIFFERENT!!! The individual shorts were tied together by a bizarre and cheesy wraparound set in New York City.

I don't know if an American company bought the British shorts and tried to make it "American" with the new footage.  Or if the British company did this to market to the U.S.  But GODDAMMIT, This is American in the sense that none of the British stuff is actually happening.  THAT stuff is all fiction and the New York wraparound scenes are reality.  Don't forget that!

See, it's just like V/H/S.  Two stereotypical NOO YAWK goons, one tall fat Chris Penn-looking motherfucker with sensitive eyes and one really short muscley Harvey Keitel/Benny Urquidez looking motherfucker with a chip on his shoulder,



steal three video tapes and hunker down in some girl's apartment to watch them.  We see the three movies they are watching.  But the movies are not real... They're movies.  But the three goons are real.   Even though you're watching them on your t.v., they're watching other people on theirs.  This is like INCEPTION, man.  

Apparently they managed to steal three British VHS tapes featuring movies that were only a half hour long each.  Whatever.  Much more important is that we are squarely in KOTTER-era New York...As the camera pulls across the skyline, you're fully expecting see Baretta warming his hands over a trash can fire.  We catch glimpses of an early primitive Panasonic LCD screen ad next to a FUCKING HUGE banner for BARRY MANILOW: IN CONCERT.  There's snow on the ground and according to BARRYNETHOMEPAGE.com, the only times in the Winter of '82-'83 that Barry was in New York City was from February 22 to March 6 at the Uris Theater.  So we have a time frame.  For some more background, I will quote from one Lenora Kaplan, denizen of BarryConcerMemories.net
 

 

It was just a fabulous "show," so well put together from an artistic standpoint and musically as well. It was pure art. I saw it twice. - Lenora Kaplan (originally of Chicago, IL)
p.s. Of course... I also remember waiting in line overnight in the snow in New York City to get tickets for this show and getting shoved by scalpers in the door and getting knocked down and breaking my glasses... [the things we go through for Barry!]

Indeed, Lenora.  So it is safe to assume that at the precise moment  we are watching these three sad idiots watch these three British short videos, Lenora Kaplan from Chicago, Illinois is getting the wig-splitted by Barry Manilow ticket scalpers.

But nevermind all that.  The wraparound takes us, along with the two goofballs, into a fucking Sweet 1983 video store and piece of history at 49th and Broadway called "Video Shack INC."



They may well be stepping through Lenora Kaplan's dried blood and shards of her shattered spectacles to get into that store.  Again, that's just conjecture at this point.  Video Shack INC was one of the first video stores in all of New York.  They were around before most people even knew what a VCR was, and as owner Arthur Morowitz describes...that could be a problem:

 

“People would come in one day, buy a video and then two days later, they’d bring it back because it didn’t fit in their television,” recalled the former owner, Arthur Morowitz. “We had actually out-marketed the VCR.”

This was back in the day when video store employees were paid on commission for selling people tapes that were grouped in glass jewelry-style display cases by distributor label rather than by genre.  And since most of it was porn and cheap exploitation stuff...you had a salesman taking titty and gore tapes out of a glass case to show to you like you were buying a watch.  And his livelihood depended on you taking that shit home so he was selling it, baby.  Check out the perv in the background and just imagine what sickening cravings he is satisfying...hand in pocket...yeah, buddy, like we don't know:



AND YOU ARE GETTING A GLIMPSE INTO THIS WORLD THANKS TO THIS IDIOTIC MOVIE!!!

Arthur's main competition was Noel Gimbel, owner of Sound Video Unlimited, which had just started branching from music into video in 1981.  But do you see "Sound Video Unlimited" in the opening segment of SCREAMTIME?  FUCK NO!!! Point - Morowitz.  Although they did end up in a long protracted lawsuit that wasn't settled until 1988.

Sadly by the 90s Arthur was bumped by the new Times Sqaurification down to 31st and 6th in a space that is now a Starbucks and a GNC.  As far as I can tell, both Arthur and Video Shack INC and any world worth living in, are all now dead.

Note: The porn theater in the background is showing TABOO II.  I'm pretty sure that was a famous porn, back when individual porn movies were like, famous, like where Travis Bickle would take Cybil Sheppard.  As they walk past, one of our main characters makes the international sign for "Look at those huge tits on that poster!"  You know the one...with two hands moving up and down in front of your chest.  Let's all do that now.  Okay, good.

To get a sense of how much has changed, here is that same corner today:


It's a FUCKING SBARRO

TABOO II has been replaced by a Superdry:


YOU TELL ME WHICH IS WORSE!!!!

This was pre-Blockbuster, so the cases are stocked with the BIG plastic boxes that had the company logos and made every video store shelf look like some kind of temple of every conceivable color and emotion.  There is a big display cutout for THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS.

Sadly the movie boxes we actually see are for the three fake movies "Killer Punch" "Scream House" and "Journey Beyond" However it should be noted that the three fake VHS boxes are every bit as glorious as the real one for this actual movie:


Speaking of which, I forgot that part.  Fuck...I'll hit the actual movie next time.
 

[Brian Fowler]

After this set comes out, how does any company ever re-release any new cash grab edition of "Halloween" with a straight face?

 

I think Anchor Bay did 6 different DVDs of it, plus two blu-rays before this (although, other than the mono track and the one new commentary, these are just straight ports of the those two releases) so I'm sure they'll find a way.

 

But, yeah, I fully intend for this to be the last time I buy these movies, at least in a physical format.

[Jingus]

Guys: the past few pages have reminded me how much y'all know about HORROR.  Some of you are way better-viewed than me; I just now watched Lucio Fulci's The House by the Cemetery and was bewildered by it just as I assumed it was going to do.  And I'm wasting my time that I could be watching this copy of Lamberto Bava's Demons or his daddy Mario Bava's Blood and Black Lace, all courtesy of the university library (and I had to pause in the middle of this post to renew them online, stingy media library with their 3-day deadlines....). 

 

But, point is: we know from horror.  We're better than the people who actually get paid to do this kind of thing on various profitable podcasts and websites.  How can we monetize this knowledge?  Serious question.  We should gang up and DO SOMETHING to make us all some money.  

[Brian Fowler]

Demons is a pretty kick ass zombie flick in all but name.

[Jingus]

That's exactly what I'm talking about.  You know the movie, love the movie, quickly summarize the movie.  And we go write this shit down here for free, because that's what we're used to.  PEOPLE GET PAID TO DO THIS.  Work with me, here!

[Curt McGirt]

Screamtime was one of those movies that would have a Vestron Video preview on the end of your tape of Alligator or whatever that I NEVER SAW AT THE STORE AND LOOKED AWESOME. Then I saw it on Netflix and yeah... it wasn't that great. But I was wasted and it was pretty late so I'd like to see it again just for the hell of it.