Grand Theft Auto V Talk.

[Robert C]

Crap, I can't even manage to jump onto a train.  I tried last night, fell through the middle of a railroad car, and then proceeded to get run over.  I am the world's worst hobo.

[J.T.]

My problem with leaving the garage, then calling for a car, is you never know what's lurking outside the apartment - when I quit last night, there was obviously a hell of a firefight raging somewhere very close to me, from the sounds of things - and I'd like to have a car so I can at least try to make a quick getaway.

 

I have said this before & it bears repeating; I have had assholes block the entrance to my garage with a dump truck before. I have also seen guys in tanks parked outside the Alta Street garage looking for easy pickings not knowing that all of the apartments overlook the garage and we can see their tank plain as day.. 

 

I always check my map, look out of my windows, and flip through WEAZEL NEWS for player locations before leaving my crib.

[Robert C]

JT - speaking of Weazel News, how much did you get to see of the carnage Dan and I left in our wake?  I'd have loved to be able to capture video of that one roadblock we cleared on the highway by the beach.  Explosions were going off for what seemed like forever.  Dan is a beast with sticky bombs.

[J.T.]

JT - speaking of Weazel News, how much did you get to see of the carnage Dan and I left in our wake?  I'd have loved to be able to capture video of that one roadblock we cleared on the highway by the beach.  Explosions were going off for what seemed like forever.  Dan is a beast with sticky bombs.

 

It was pretty sick.  I would imagine that your counter attack on the Young Texas Crew's attempted collection on the bounty on your head led to their failed attept at a drive-by on my ass when they saw I had the same crew tag. 

 

They are a bunch of bitches.  One near miss with a grenade and they fled.  As far as I am concerned, their members are KOS.

[Dolfan in NYC]

So I woke up on Sunday and turned on the game.  After doing a couple of races, I popped back into freemode and found myself spawned very near the High Priority I/E car.  There were only 5 guys in my session, so I thought this would be a breeze.  Somehow, I wound up in the hills trying to get away from the two star wanted level and got pinned in by two cops, so I shot my way out. 3 stars.

 

Well, somehow, I found cover and after a few tense minutes, had the 3 stars drop.  Of course, now it's raining, and I'm in an expensive car in the non-paved roles.  So I'm getting impatient and yup, I drove off the side of the mountain near the Vinewood sign. Worst thing of course happens now, and I get stuck in a tree. No way out, so I get pissed and blow up the car.  Of course, this earns me a star.  And for whatever fucking reason, there's a cop right there and he starts shooting.  I of course am an innocent snowflake, so I shoot him in the face. 3 stars.

 

I start running down the hill and find a house with an absolutely exceptional set up. Big fence leading into a long, concrete corridor, concrete roof, perfect bottleneck. The helicopter has spotted me, but cannot shoot me.  I proceed to mow down about 20 cops who are *stupidly* hopping the fence one at a time.  4 stars.

 

Now it's SWAT guys jumping the fence.  The AI actually forces them to run a few steps into the wall of the house once they hop the fence.  They die.  Repeatedly.  5 stars.

 

FIB guys, SWAT guys, cops.  All hopping the fence.  All dying.  I actually hear the cops getting incredibly frustrated and saying "Fuck this, I'm not getting shot."  What seemed like 10 minutes later, they stop hopping over and the stars start blinking... but I notice a white dot approaching.  

 

Blinking..... blinking.....  God damn it white dot, stay away.  I look at who it is. It's a rank 20 player with no crew.   Blinking.

 

BLINKING....  FUCK.   

 

Finally, he's there.  Ugh.  STOP BLINKING STARS.  I hear the relief sound.  The stars are gone, 500 RP.  

 

*clink clink* fuck me.   BOOM.

 

I respawn. And I spend the next half an hour killing him in every way the game allows.  The most satisfying was when he was in front of me and I stealth approached from behind and bashed his head in with a golf club.   After death 20, he sends me a text "STOP".   

 

I respond: Careful who you kill.    I shoot him again, and sign off. 

 

Who says video games aren't cathartic.  

[RUkered]

Those are my favorite - when they are butthurt enough to text. It's like dude, flee or find a new session because, if you keep coming, the beatings will continue. I don't think you're sauntering up after death #12 to shake my hand and offer me a Snickers bar.

[melraz09]

Hadn't gotta play inna couple of days but got on today levelin up my secondary character. I have the lil sniper now so that makes me a lil bit happy. Me and mizz did quite a few missions. I need to level up he needs the $$$$ for a buzzard it was a win win. Ourghta be back on tonight iffin work don't call. raise hell...rinse....repeat.

[jstout]

 

My problem with leaving the garage, then calling for a car, is you never know what's lurking outside the apartment - when I quit last night, there was obviously a hell of a firefight raging somewhere very close to me, from the sounds of things - and I'd like to have a car so I can at least try to make a quick getaway.

 

I have said this before & it bears repeating; I have had assholes block the entrance to my garage with a dump truck before. I have also seen guys in tanks parked outside the Alta Street garage looking for easy pickings not knowing that all of the apartments overlook the garage and we can see their tank plain as day.. 

 

I always check my map, look out of my windows, and flip through WEAZEL NEWS for player locations before leaving my crib.

 

I had a guy blocking my garage with something the other day. It let me drive out, with dude furiously shooting at me as I hauled ass out of the apartment and down the street. I then stopped, got out of the car and squared up ready to take him on and I dunno what happened to him. I never got his name. 

 

I always check the windows. I never remember to check the garage cam or Weasel News. Never. Good reminder, especially since 50 percent of the time, I start a session on the couch in the Living Room anyway. 

 

I've had guys in tanks shell the apartment, like that's gonna cause me to come outside. "You kids with your tanks, knock that off. Get off my lawn!"

 

When lower-level players mess with the bull, get the horns and text me to stop, I usually shoot back "YOU DREW FIRST BLOOD!" but I should remember they're 12 and don't get the Rambo reference.

 

I've got like a 9 a.m. doctor's appointment and NO desire to sleep. That's a bad combination.

[AxB]

So apparently if you have a female avatar, what you do is change into one of the Bikini Tops from the Beach Bum pack, quit online, go and delete the Beach Bum pack from your hard drive, try to go back online (it'll make you re-download the BB pack - do it) and there you have it. Boobies~!

Haven't tried it because I don't know how to delete stuff off a PS3. Apparently it's easy on an XBOX.

[J.T.]

Those are my favorite - when they are butthurt enough to text. It's like dude, flee or find a new session because, if you keep coming, the beatings will continue. I don't think you're sauntering up after death #12 to shake my hand and offer me a Snickers bar.

 

I pretty much shoot anyone who gets too close to me that isn't friend or crew.  No one just stops their car a block away from you for no reason at all. 

 

I try not to shoot randoms as I drop out of missions or jobs with them unless they shoot at me first.

[J.T.]

So apparently if you have a female avatar, what you do is change into one of the Bikini Tops from the Beach Bum pack, quit online, go and delete the Beach Bum pack from your hard drive, try to go back online (it'll make you re-download the BB pack - do it) and there you have it. Boobies~! Haven't tried it because I don't know how to delete stuff off a PS3. Apparently it's easy on an XBOX.

 

You can just delete the content from your hard drive of a 360; it is in a named bundle clearly marked.   Not sure what the file structure is on PS3 hard drives.

 

Sometimes the boobies glitch works and sometimes it doesn't.  I have seen some female avatars with holes in the middle of their torsos like Goldie Hawn from Death Becomes Her.

[odessasteps]

I dont want to see my Isla naked.

[J.T.]

Here is a badass article on some of the easter eggs in GTA5.

 

http://www.tradeindetectives.com/blog/gta-5-hidden-secrets-and-easter-eggs/

 

Some are well documented (the ghost at Mount Gordo, the alien frozen in the river at North Yadkin, Marsten as your Special Dad, etc.) but I will have to check out this Infinity 8 killer thingie.

 

I thought i was crazy when I saw that likeness of Jessie Pinkman in game.  Glad to see it was deliberate.  I have never ever seen the Thelma and Louise deal. 

 

The No Country For Old Men thing isn't an Easter Egg IMO since it is a random event you can easily run across once you start playing as Trevor.  It's not really hidden and it is prefaced in a WEAZEL News report about a turf war between Los Aztecas and the Triads in Chumash .

 

I need to get that Crab jacket for my Trevor.

 

I think we've all hung out at the Playboy Mansion once or twice.  I need to remember to take a selfie there with my online toon.

[RIPPA]

Depending on who is on tonight - I think we might need to start our evening off with a LS Forum session

[J.T.]

Depending on who is on tonight - I think we might need to start our evening off with a LS Forum session

 

Someone is in the mood to kill early today.  I am sure I will be fit for murderin' by the time I get home, but it will be later than usual.  Exercise for the 82nd Airborne needs an additional Technical Assistant today since some guy just up and "called in sick" today because he could not figure out the software snafu with some of the LINUX boxes yesterday.

 

Naturally it will be up to me to fix the issue so he can come in tomorrow "mysteriously feeling much better" to a working computer suite.

 

Government workers, I'll tell ya.

[odessasteps]

Its amazing what i see govt people get away with, because if a contractor did it, theyd be out the door before they knew it.

[Robert C]

I'll probably be up for some good, clean GTA tonight. 

 

stout, mis, Herby and I ran into a server full of clowns last night and promptly cleared the lot of them out of there.  They were the most pathetic crowd I've encountered yet.  It took maybe 50 kills to run off the entire server.

 

There were 3 guys from one crew that might as well change its name to roadkill.  Started off with stout going for a Simeon car.  some dude with a bounty came after him, but stout introduced him to the business end of his shotgun down by the docks.  I ran the guy over 3 times in a row, then blew him up once with a sticky once he finally found a car.  Stout gunned him down a couple more times before he finally got away.  We found him in downtown by Simeon's dealership with his two crewmates and decided to pay a visit.  Got down there, and wound up running over one of 2 guys that popped up right in front of me in the middle of the street.  Somebody else got the other one.  Turned out to be that group of 3.  They all bailed out before we could even manage to start shooting.  That just set the tone for the whole server.  People would come at us, die once or twice, and take off.

 

On the other hand, I got my ass absolutely kicked in a deathmatch earlier.  At one point I was at 1 kill to about 13 deaths.  I had to make a miraculous comeback just to finish at a craptacular 12 kills to 24 deaths.

[The Man Known as Dan]

Got 40 minutes to kill?  This is a great way to do it.

 

[jstout]

That was the saddest bunch ever last night. One guy gave me trouble, but everybody else seemed to be handling him fine. He stuck around the longest, for a litle while after his little buddy promptly left after being on the business end of an ass-kicking. And I loved it when one of them rejoined the room to say "crap! those guys are still in here?" and run out of the room screaming.

 

I've been playing missions with a lot of randoms lately, and it's fun to do missions with crew because we've all done the missions to the point where we know what everyone is going to do immediately. Makes things tons easier. 

[Travis Sheldon]

I love to just go to the top of the shed in Freemode, jump off and soar very slowly into that town below. The parachute games are OK, but I have trouble landing in the zone. I've played them dozens of times and landed correctly only once. 

 

 

 

If you're on the PS3, using the L1 & R1 shoulder buttons give you better control for a target landing.

Not sure what the XBox360 equivalent is, though.

[jstout]

Yeah, I can land anywhere without wiping out while parachuting anywhere, I just am nowhere near the target zone when I touch down during the parachute games. I'm usually way off course or mostly come up short (land before the target) because I've put so much energy into going through the rings I get out of position for the landing.

 

The guy I used to play parachute missions with all the time (goof made me do dozens of 'em and I hated them, now he isn't playing the game anymore and I wanna slug him 'cause we had some great times playing this damn game) always told me to just skip the last two-three rings and concentrate on sticking the landing, but I don't learn lessons well.

 

I have but 11 words for y'all: "This should provide adequate sustenance for the GTA 5 Online marathon." DVDR crew: hey, let's be careful out there.

 

[Cristobal]

I love to just go to the top of the shed in Freemode, jump off and soar very slowly into that town below. The parachute games are OK, but I have trouble landing in the zone. I've played them dozens of times and landed correctly only once.

 

If you're on the PS3, using the L1 & R1 shoulder buttons give you better control for a target landing.

Not sure what the XBox360 equivalent is, though.

So, assuming that logo is your creation, how high were you when you made it?

[Travis Sheldon]

 

 

I love to just go to the top of the shed in Freemode, jump off and soar very slowly into that town below. The parachute games are OK, but I have trouble landing in the zone. I've played them dozens of times and landed correctly only once.

 

If you're on the PS3, using the L1 & R1 shoulder buttons give you better control for a target landing.

Not sure what the XBox360 equivalent is, though.

 

So, assuming that logo is your creation, how high were you when you made it?

 

 

 

Actually, I wasn't high at all. It was my first time playing with the logo creator and I liked the overall _________ look to it, so I shared.

[jstout]

Oh, there's a logo creator. I didn't know how that worked. I gamed with someone once who had a logo that looked so much like ours i checked to see if he was crew. That might explain it. I'd been actually wondering about that.

 

I came up with Rule 1 of GTA Online several months ago: Whenever you really, really need to steal a car, you'll have a hard time finding one, and the one you do find will be horrible.

 

i came up with Rule 2 of GTA Online earlier tonight: Don't leave your character completely unattended around me and Robert. Bad, bad, bad move. We nearly had the map cleared (the constant goal of the Freemode Faction - it's loser leave town, baby, and you're gonna be the loser) except for one guy near Trevor's airfield. As we're driving up to say hi, I noticed the person's white dot hasn't moved in a while.

 

We get up there and figure out why - no one's at the controls, yet whoever's playing forgot to put it in passive mode. Not smart. Robert set the guy on fire, threw a sticky bomb and bounced it off the dude's head, I sniped him in the back of the head from point-blank range, and most satisfingly, we got planes and helicopters from Trevor's and killed the guy with the rotors a bunch of times.

 

So FINALLY the dude comes back, puts it in passive and gets up on top of an RV, then leaves the controls again. Not smart at all. Robert knocks the guy down with a water hose from a firetruck and it's game on again. We run him over, the cops chasing us run him over. This goes on for quite a while before he quits.

 

Tremendous evening before that, starting off with DVDRollerball on top of that damn arena. I know now what one of those ducks at the carnival people shoot to win prizes feels like - I just kept going around in circles while different people shot me. Y'all had coolers out, sitting in lawn chairs drinking cold beverages - "here he comes again ... BOOM! Poor feller just don't learn."

 

I think my favorite of the deathmatches was the cemetery one, despite the fact that I shot Rippa 750 times with my sniper rifle while he was on the roof and he not only lived, he lived to snipe me dead with one shot. Meanwhile, Mary Lou's on my right earning the gold by sticking a perfect roundoff back handsprings before shooting me for the 3000th time. 

 

And then there was the touching display of love all of you showed for that motorcycle race. So nice to see.

 

Tuesdays are the bestest time ever. 

[The Man Known as Dan]

How come I think I'm Mary Lou?