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The WWE Total Divas Thread

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Everything on this show is either: Real, fake or based on reality.

 

 

So it's one or more of the only three available options that it can be? That explains it so well...SMDH.

 

Did your head explode while you were typing that?

 

 

Based on reality, but recreated for the camera.

 

It's not something real, which was caught on camera (like when Naomi's bf tried to go after Brodus).

 

It's not something fake, which was created solely for the show (like every second Eva Marie is on the air).

 

It's something that has a hint of truth to it, but wasn't caught on-camera and was instead recreated for more compelling television. 

 

Some reality shows stage everything (most reality shows). Some shows try to capture reality (COPS). Some shows just film stuff and present what happens (usually the first season of a reality show - the subsequent ones get more and more staged). Total Divas is straddling every line, depending on who is on-camera or who they're on-camera with.

 

Explaining reality television to wrestling fans should be so easy...

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But then Faaaan   Dannnn  Goooo appeared on screen and referred to himself as Fandango.  So either he doesn't know how to say his name either or wrestling is fake.  Which is it you guys?

 

Everyone on the show uses their real name and Faaaaaaaan Daaaaaan Gooooo's real name is actually pronounced Fandango. He was still pretty Faaaaaaan Daaaaaaaan Goooooo-y for a guy named Fandango though.

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Wasn't Fandango basically doing Ziggler's heel gimmick the entire show? 

 

Also, his dead pan "We're not doing it again" after the Eva tryout was pretty hilarious.

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Explaining reality television to wrestling fans should be so easy...

 

 

I get a real thrill out of seeing wrestling fans pull the "this bullshit is all fake" and "I'm SO above watching crap like reality tv" cards when those have been played on us about wrestling by everyone we know in life. 

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Cena and Bryan want to be anywhere else and it is tremendous.

I'm still surprised they even got Cena to do this.

 

They usually keep his personal stuff under heavy wraps. Now he's on fucking E! with the curtains pulled back showing off his bitchy heel girlfriend and mansion, while double dating with his girlfriends twin sister and her boyfriend, who he's wrestling at Summerslam. And this is after a divorce, no less.

 

Whoever said the gifs out of the context years from now being awesome is right.

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I'm guessing they gave him a big pile of money.  Like whatever E paid them for the show, the majority goes to Cena and the girls get scraps. 

 

Cena didn't get killed in his divorce but he's probably at that point in life where he sees his body breaking down and this was a payday without having to take bumps.

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So, instead of the usual post debut decline, the ratings went up 14%.

 

What have we done?

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Clearly the rating grew as the show went on due to Fandango.

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We've created a monster.... because nobody wants to see wrestling no more, they want divas, RAW's chopped liver.

 

It's the best thing since wrestling.

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So who is the true heel?

 

Fahn-dahng-oh is up front about the fact that he's a scumbag player and owns it.

 

John Cena feeds a Bella all sorts of lines about why they don't have to get married, stringing her along and allowing her to hold out hope that maybe someday he'll change his mind.

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Cena did just get divorced though. It was probably less than a year from whenever that was taped.

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Man Fandango was like a predator. He smelled stupid "newbie" blood in the water and attacked. That Eva is a complete moron. I like that bf proposing. He's like shit she's gonna be surrounded by dudes I gotta lock this up. Like that ring is gonna stop anything.

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Man Fandango was like a predator. He smelled stupid "newbie" blood in the water and attacked. That Eva is a complete moron. I like that bf proposing. He's like shit she's gonna be surrounded by dudes I gotta lock this up. Like that ring is gonna stop anything.

Imagine what the show would be like if Big Dave was still around.  

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Total Divas, circa 2005, with Big Dave, Johnny Nitro, Melina; Lita, Edge and Matt Hardy - with clips from OVW and Punk.

 

12 million viewers.

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Man Fandango was like a predator. He smelled stupid "newbie" blood in the water and attacked. That Eva is a complete moron. I like that bf proposing. He's like shit she's gonna be surrounded by dudes I gotta lock this up. Like that ring is gonna stop anything.

Being in a relationship with a diva while not being a WWE guy must be ridiculous. Not even taking a shot at the divas. Just, all those sharks would have me paranoid. You'd almost have to just accept the inevitable.

 

"At least it was Ziggler. I like Ziggler"

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One minute you have a nice quiet life with a sexy school teacher wife, the next minute she's having kids with a zombie biker.

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Man Fandango was like a predator. He smelled stupid "newbie" blood in the water and attacked. That Eva is a complete moron. I like that bf proposing. He's like shit she's gonna be surrounded by dudes I gotta lock this up. Like that ring is gonna stop anything.

Being in a relationship with a diva while not being a WWE guy must be ridiculous. Not even taking a shot at the divas. Just, all those sharks would have me paranoid. You'd almost have to just accept the inevitable.

 

"At least it was Ziggler. I like Ziggler"

 

 

I remember Paige's pops (Ricky Knight) on another messageboard causing much lulz a year or so back by stating that none of the WWE guys would be getting their hands on her because she had a long-term boyfriend.

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Oh, did anyone else catch that the Funkadactyls were wearing their new gear from this episode on Raw this week?

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The continuity editing on this show is awful.  They're on the plane eating and then the food is gone and they're drinking and then the food is back and then they're drinking again.

 

'Jon Uso'.  None of these twins do shoot names correctly.

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I am displeased that they don't put "AN USSSSSSOOOOOOOO" as his display name on the show.

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Man Fandango was like a predator. He smelled stupid "newbie" blood in the water and attacked. That Eva is a complete moron. I like that bf proposing. He's like shit she's gonna be surrounded by dudes I gotta lock this up. Like that ring is gonna stop anything.

Imagine what the show would be like if Big Dave was still around.  

Posted Image

 

 

If Batista was on this show, we would have a whole week show to dedicated to Bryan coping with being forced to watch Nikki and Brie fucking Dave at the same time while eating a porterhouse. 

 

If Bryan ever does back to the indies he is going to get the worse indy ribbing about this show. Hopefully he decides to pull a Hollywood gimmick.

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What does indy ribbing consist of?

 

He'll make more money off of that show than those guys will make in six months of killing themselves in front of 200 people.

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