TNA Impact Wrestling Spoilers for 6/5

[DreamBroken]

*Taped for Xplosion: Knux & Crazzy Steve (w/ The Menagerie) def. Jessie & DJ Z (w/ Robbie E)

 

TNA Impact Wrestling - Airing June 5, 2014 from Orlando, FL

 

*Samoa Joe came out to the ring calling out MVP, Lashley, & King. Joe called MVP a scumbag, tyrant, and a liar. Joe says they go way back and calls MVP corrupted. MVP says he did his job while Joe took his ball and went home. Joe challenged them to a handicap match. MVP said that won't happen and asks if he has anyone to even the odds. Austin Aries came to the ring to join Joe's side in the challenge. MVP instead announced Samoa Joe vs Austin Aries in a loser leaves town match.

 

*Willow def. Bram via DQ when Magnus interfered

 

*Backstage, Jeremy Borash recaps a Mr. Anderson vs James Storm drinking contest. They show a video of both guys drunk but Anderson reveals he's just acting while Storm is drunk. Anderson beats Storm up in the bar and then they take it outside to the street where Anderson rams Storm into a dumpster and lays him out.

 

*Mr. Anderson came to the ring to James Storm's old theme music and dressed like a cowboy for an in-ring interview with Christy Hemme. Anderson mocked Storm, talking about beer and said "Sorry about my damn breath". Anderson talked about whipping Storm's ass in the drinking contest. Storm came out and questioned Anderson finding this funny. Storm said he wanted to go another round but not tonight. They ended up in a ringside brawl. Storm got the upperhand and hit Anderson with the Last Call in the ring. Storm got the mic and told Anderson to bring his boots to Slammiversary.

 

*Eddie Edwards def. Davey Richards with a rollup. During the match, Kenny King came out and taunted them, saying they would lose their tag team titles if they didn't fight. After the match the Wolves laid out King.

 

*Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) def. Madison Rayne to retain the knockouts championship with a rollup when Velvet used the hairspray after Madison got distracted by Brittany coming to ringside to watch.

 

*Backstage MVP tells Brian Hebner that there must be a winner in Joe vs Aries. No double pins, no countouts, no DQs.

 

*Austin Aries vs Samoa Joe goes to a no contest in a loser leaves town match. Brian Hebner was fast counting so Eric Young came out and told him to count fairly. Hebner argued back that he had a family to feed until Bully Ray came out and knocked Brian Hebner out to put an end to the match. Bully takes the mic and says this is all bigger than them and he cannot allow MVP to do this. MVP comes out with Lashley and King to argue. MVP threatened firings. Bully then makes the challenge for Bully Ray, Eric Young, Austin Aries, & Samoa Joe vs MVP, Lashley, Kenny King, & EC3 in a First Blood match. King ends up accepting the challenge for his team on his own.

 

*The BroMans come out and cut a promo on The Menagerie. Robbie E mentions being scared of clowns. The Menagerie come out and beat them up. They knock the BroMans from the ring and then The Freak press slams DJ Z onto them.

 

*Bully Ray, Eric Young, Austin Aries, & Samoa Joe def. MVP, Bobby Lashley, Kenny King, & Ethan Carter III in a First Blood match when Bully used the steel chain on EC3 to bust him open.

 

[cool arrow]

I really like the babyface team in the main event.

[notoriusvig]

So, MVP promises a winner with no bullshit finishes, and we end up with no winner.  Makes complete sense.

[Jamie Virtue]

8-Man Tag First Blood Match? Ehh. Is the stipulation really necessary? However, I am cool with EY, Bully, Aries and Joe as a babyface team.

[StretchMediatedHypertrophy]

So, MVP promises a winner with no bullshit finishes, and we end up with no winner.  Makes complete sense.

 

He didn't though, he instructed the ref, who got knocked out by Bully. It does indeed make complete sense.

[Kaptain Kayfabe]

I love how a month into the feud they are already doing a First Blood match. A First Blood match that will be set up probably about an hour before it takes place within the same TV show. 

 

Now I think there can be a time and a place in wrestling for blood, don't get me wrong. WWE's 100% no blood policy sucks for Hell in the Cell matches, for example. But for somebody to bleed on some random TV show in a match that will be forgotten within a week in the year 2014 seems pretty irresponsible and unnecessary. 

[Newb82]

Why do I feel like this booking is being done with the end game being bringing Dixie back as a babyface?

[Biz Smarkie]

It'll happen on the next week's tapings.

[Patrick B.]

Watching TNA seems so empty these days.  I think a lot of wrestling fans would like some kind of alternative, but that ship has sailed as far as TNA is concerned.  They had their chance to be an alternative(X-Division, different sort of women's division, strong tag division) and most of that has fallen by the wayside.

 

Positives:  Some new faces getting pushed, including Kenny King.  Dude torched his Ring Of Honor bridge to make the jump, he deserves SOMETHING for that.

[cool arrow]

I love how a month into the feud they are already doing a First Blood match. A First Blood match that will be set up probably about an hour before it takes place within the same TV show. 

 

Now I think there can be a time and a place in wrestling for blood, don't get me wrong. WWE's 100% no blood policy sucks for Hell in the Cell matches, for example. But for somebody to bleed on some random TV show in a match that will be forgotten within a week in the year 2014 seems pretty irresponsible and unnecessary. 

 

But that's TNA's SOP: start with the blowoff and work your way backwards.

[Rev Ray]

I thougth TNA's SOP was "Collect underpants > unknown middle step > Profit"

[MGFanJay]

Fuck TNA. ROH told an amazing story with Eddie-Davey I - TNA opted to make the match right before an ad break, with both guys lounging around MVP's office in sandals. They hyped up a main event WITH A FINISH and delivered one without it. Storm rightfully kicked the ass of the asshole Anderson. Similarly, Brittany did nothing after Madison told her to and Madison got mad since hse lost as a result. THE MAIN EVENT FIRST BLOOD MATCH was rendered largely meaningless by the post-match skit. This was not a good show at all. Amusing though.

 

http://jayreviewsthings.blogspot.com/2014/06/tna-impact-6-5-14.html

 

Screens -

 

 

 

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/5lv5tb6x8hcz9w1lss33a32e56lg3nc9

[Spontaneous]

Yeah, I really got nothing to say. Why do two matches where you force people to face their partners or fellow faces but then end it early without a finish, twice on the same show? Eight man first blood annoyed me along the same lines as Evolution-Shield's orderly No Holds Barred did.

Why is a Dixie face turn incoming? Why?!

[MGFanJay]

And why is it coming WHILE THEY ARE TEASING HER GOING THROUGH A TABLE? They need to do that spot for the PPV, because there's no way they can hold off on her actually being a face before BFG.

[Greggulator]

I don't think I've watched more than 120 seconds of TNA ever. My friend watched for a bit when they still had the 6-sided ring and I saw something involving the Dudleyz, I think. Now I am going to review This episode of TNA Impact which caused Bryan Alvarez to not watch TNA anymore.

 

1) I see they have a power struggle/corrupt authority thing going on. And MVP is the brains behind the operation? The same MVP who was in that feud with Matt Hardy and The Miz? Really?

 

2) I kind of liked that backstage camera look and how they filmed it. It's unique looking. Is it a Truman Show sorta thing they do when there's cameras everywhere at all times?

3) Samoa Joe! I saw him in ROH and forgot he was in this promotion. One of MVP's goons is Bobby Lashley? This is the least impressive group of power brokers ever. Kenny King (is that his name?) is sorta okay as a mouthpiece lackey. Now Austin Aries comes out and it's confusing and there's a match between them and someone gets fired and other stuff I've seen done before.

4) They do another backstage segment. Here's the thing -- I have NO IDEA WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. They're talking and someone's the former champ and there's a British guy talking back to him. This is just bad television. Not just wrestling. But television. You have to assume that there is at least one person watching the show that day who has never watched your program before. Thus, introducing character names with graphics or a ring announcer or an interview person is absolutely needed. I legitimately have no idea who these people are talking about Jeff Hardy. Man, that's just awful.

5) Okay, it's some dude Brym? Bram? Going up against Willow, who is some altar ego of Jeff Hardy? Mike Tenay and Taz start talking about Willow's crazy offense... and, it's just Jeff Hardy doing Jeff Hardy things that I wasn't really into when I was supposed to be into Jeff Hardy. The only time I ever liked anything Jeff Hardy ever did was when Punk was beefing with him and became THEEE dick heel at dumbass Hardy's expense. That segment after their retirement match when Punk came out in Hardy's facepaint and dumb arm things was so great. So Willow is supposed to be an even more extreme version of the already extreme Jeff Hardy? The idea of a guy becoming someone else and morphing into an entirely new, psychotic wrestler could be a lot of fun. But it'd have to be a total reinvention for it to work. Like something like Bray Wyatt takes over The Miz's soul and all of a sudden Miz started doing Sabu spots in order to please his master. But this is just dumb.

Magnus (they finally told me who it is) comes out and takes a hammer from the other dude and they start working over Willow. I know Tenay and Taz are trying to tell me who these people are but it's not working. The WWE's constant video packages and reminders might seem annoying but they're done like that for a reason -- there's somebody watching this for the very first time and they need to know who these people are and what's going on, even if this just happened a few minutes ago.

This is seriously bad.

6) Two dudes in t-shirts and jeans and carrying titles are in the back and MVP walks back and they have an issue. I now know that one is named Edwards and the other is something else and they're the tag champs. They don't like MVP being a puppet master and MVP makes a match between the tag champions to put them in their place.

7) Some person screaming "I WANT BEER!" laughs. Tenay introduces him as Mr. Anderson and "What is he up to?" Taz says he can't wait to find out. So what did he do before? Now the tag champions whose names I don't know (I assume they're The American Wolves since they had on Wolf T-Shirts and I think I know their names. But I watch zero indie wrestling these days. I know I saw them against The Ascension but I can't remember what they look like.) are in the ring. 

They wrestle and it's a Malenko/Guerrero type thing. This makes sense because they have to fight and, no matter what, you want to prove yourself as the better man. But at the same time, you don't want to hurt your friend/person you make your living with. It's all pretty bland and boring. Some of the exchanges look okay but it's mostly just sorta there and there's no build to this match or anything. Man, tag champs forced to fight each other is something that actually could have some legs to it. But "you'd better fight or we strip you of those belts!" isn't good enough. Dangle a title shot or money or something as the bait and watch these punks who challenged you tear each other apart for personal gain.

Anyways, one guy eventually pins the other and then they beat up Kenny King. That' fine. But like I said, I have no idea who is who because the announcing and production is so bad.

8) MVP is now in the back talking with some old lady. I know from my brief TNA dabblings this is Dixie Carter. But I have no idea why they're interacting and what this is about. And if, say, my wife (god forbid) was to some reason watch TNA, she would have no idea who these people are and what they're talking about.

9) Okay, they have a brief recap between the Knockouts with some creepy lesbian Single White Female overtones. Madison tells Brittany to not get involved in her match tonight. So something got recapped.

10) Okay, I recognize Xema Ion. I always liked that dude. He's there with some Zack Ryder guido bro types. I again have no idea who these people are.

I've given up. This thing sucks.

[Spontaneous]

I am glad to see the LOLTNA encyclopedia is back up, so I can revisit the less painful moments in TNA history.

[Overly Critical Man]

I don't think I've watched more than 120 seconds of TNA ever. My friend watched for a bit when they still had the 6-sided ring and I saw something involving the Dudleyz, I think. Now I am going to review This episode of TNA Impact which caused Bryan Alvarez to not watch TNA anymore.

 

1) I see they have a power struggle/corrupt authority thing going on. And MVP is the brains behind the operation? The same MVP who was in that feud with Matt Hardy and The Miz? Really?

 

2) I kind of liked that backstage camera look and how they filmed it. It's unique looking. Is it a Truman Show sorta thing they do when there's cameras everywhere at all times?

3) Samoa Joe! I saw him in ROH and forgot he was in this promotion. One of MVP's goons is Bobby Lashley? This is the least impressive group of power brokers ever. Kenny King (is that his name?) is sorta okay as a mouthpiece lackey. Now Austin Aries comes out and it's confusing and there's a match between them and someone gets fired and other stuff I've seen done before.

4) They do another backstage segment. Here's the thing -- I have NO IDEA WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. They're talking and someone's the former champ and there's a British guy talking back to him. This is just bad television. Not just wrestling. But television. You have to assume that there is at least one person watching the show that day who has never watched your program before. Thus, introducing character names with graphics or a ring announcer or an interview person is absolutely needed. I legitimately have no idea who these people are talking about Jeff Hardy. Man, that's just awful.

5) Okay, it's some dude Brym? Bram? Going up against Willow, who is some altar ego of Jeff Hardy? Mike Tenay and Taz start talking about Willow's crazy offense... and, it's just Jeff Hardy doing Jeff Hardy things that I wasn't really into when I was supposed to be into Jeff Hardy. The only time I ever liked anything Jeff Hardy ever did was when Punk was beefing with him and became THEEE dick heel at dumbass Hardy's expense. That segment after their retirement match when Punk came out in Hardy's facepaint and dumb arm things was so great. So Willow is supposed to be an even more extreme version of the already extreme Jeff Hardy? The idea of a guy becoming someone else and morphing into an entirely new, psychotic wrestler could be a lot of fun. But it'd have to be a total reinvention for it to work. Like something like Bray Wyatt takes over The Miz's soul and all of a sudden Miz started doing Sabu spots in order to please his master. But this is just dumb.

Magnus (they finally told me who it is) comes out and takes a hammer from the other dude and they start working over Willow. I know Tenay and Taz are trying to tell me who these people are but it's not working. The WWE's constant video packages and reminders might seem annoying but they're done like that for a reason -- there's somebody watching this for the very first time and they need to know who these people are and what's going on, even if this just happened a few minutes ago.

This is seriously bad.

6) Two dudes in t-shirts and jeans and carrying titles are in the back and MVP walks back and they have an issue. I now know that one is named Edwards and the other is something else and they're the tag champs. They don't like MVP being a puppet master and MVP makes a match between the tag champions to put them in their place.

7) Some person screaming "I WANT BEER!" laughs. Tenay introduces him as Mr. Anderson and "What is he up to?" Taz says he can't wait to find out. So what did he do before? Now the tag champions whose names I don't know (I assume they're The American Wolves since they had on Wolf T-Shirts and I think I know their names. But I watch zero indie wrestling these days. I know I saw them against The Ascension but I can't remember what they look like.) are in the ring. 

They wrestle and it's a Malenko/Guerrero type thing. This makes sense because they have to fight and, no matter what, you want to prove yourself as the better man. But at the same time, you don't want to hurt your friend/person you make your living with. It's all pretty bland and boring. Some of the exchanges look okay but it's mostly just sorta there and there's no build to this match or anything. Man, tag champs forced to fight each other is something that actually could have some legs to it. But "you'd better fight or we strip you of those belts!" isn't good enough. Dangle a title shot or money or something as the bait and watch these punks who challenged you tear each other apart for personal gain.

Anyways, one guy eventually pins the other and then they beat up Kenny King. That' fine. But like I said, I have no idea who is who because the announcing and production is so bad.

8) MVP is now in the back talking with some old lady. I know from my brief TNA dabblings this is Dixie Carter. But I have no idea why they're interacting and what this is about. And if, say, my wife (god forbid) was to some reason watch TNA, she would have no idea who these people are and what they're talking about.

9) Okay, they have a brief recap between the Knockouts with some creepy lesbian Single White Female overtones. Madison tells Brittany to not get involved in her match tonight. So something got recapped.

10) Okay, I recognize Xema Ion. I always liked that dude. He's there with some Zack Ryder guido bro types. I again have no idea who these people are.

I've given up. This thing sucks.

You have a bright future ahead of you in writing Smackdown spoilers.

[MGFanJay]

I now really want to see Miz doing Sabu spots.

[JonnyLaw]

I love that Greggulator seems to have an irrational hatred of Jeff Hardy.  Like, if Hardy was back on Raw, Gregg would be bashing it along with ebbie and overly critical man.

[Greggulator]

I love that Greggulator seems to have an irrational hatred of Jeff Hardy.  Like, if Hardy was back on Raw, Gregg would be bashing it along with ebbie and overly critical man.

 

I would be. I loved the early TLC Team Extreme Hardy Boyz stuff a bunch. But then I got older and Jeff became really insufferable. His dumb arm slings and face paint and Jenko-ish jeans and even dumber dance were the worst. CM Punk ridding the WWE of Jeff Hardy for good was one of my favorite, favorite, favorite angles ever.

[ebbie]

I love that Greggulator seems to have an irrational hatred of Jeff Hardy.  Like, if Hardy was back on Raw, Gregg would be bashing it along with ebbie and overly critical man.

 

 

At least Hardy was crazy over on Raw. I will forgive absolutely "terrible imo" if the crowd eats the shit up.

[LooseCannon]

6) Two dudes in t-shirts and jeans and carrying titles are in the back and MVP walks back and they have an issue. I now know that one is named Edwards and the other is something else and they're the tag champs. They don't like MVP being a puppet master and MVP makes a match between the tag champions to put them in their place.

7) Some person screaming "I WANT BEER!" laughs. Tenay introduces him as Mr. Anderson and "What is he up to?" Taz says he can't wait to find out. So what did he do before? Now the tag champions whose names I don't know (I assume they're The American Wolves since they had on Wolf T-Shirts and I think I know their names. But I watch zero indie wrestling these days. I know I saw them against The Ascension but I can't remember what they look like.) are in the ring.

 

You gave yourself away as being a pure gimmick poster because no one can be on this board as much as you and not have absorbed the various memes about Davey Richards.

 

Is there something ironic about you being a poster who likes shoehorning his favorite spots into a post and working his formula to death being the guy to no-sell Davey Richards?

[Overly Critical Man]

I love that Greggulator seems to have an irrational hatred of Jeff Hardy.  Like, if Hardy was back on Raw, Gregg would be bashing it along with ebbie and overly critical man.

Oh come on now, I like the absurdity of Willow. I enjoy whackiness in wrestling. Just not Emma and her zero effort whackiness.

[Big Fresh]

I'm with Gregg on Jeff. He's one of the very few wrestlers I can find no redeeming value in. I mean, yeah, he's over, but there is nothing he does well. I don't get it.

However, I have to call BS on him being a DVDVR poster who doesn't have Davey Richards' face burned into his nightmares.

[Greggulator]

I have only seen Davey Richards wrestle two times in my life. I don't watch ROH. I don't even pay attention to it at all. The only indie I know anything about is Chikara. I know the Wolves showed up in a pretty forgettable match on NXT. And then they went to TNA, which I've watched all of one time, which is what I reviewed here. And I had no idea who was who because they didn't care to give me a graphic or make it clear in the announcing.

I do know him from that .gif of the superplex thing.

Other than that, I really have no exposure to the man whatsoever.