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As it turns out, this one wasn't too awfully terrible once I got into it. Everybody started with forced crowbars, but to get to the guns, you had to walk along this narrow sign and make these hard jumps. Everybody had an opportunity to get to them. Mis - that looks like a normal drive to a mission with Melraz. I'm in a room right now with a guy named BETER TH4N U. Guess where I'm headed. I was getting some snacks to gear up for a mission when this happened. I then get messages asking "u like that" and "are u a girl". I'm taking this asshole out to sea in a chopper if I can pull it off.

You should've asked him if his mom is hot.

This is why the Spengler Cup must be on TV. I debated posting the Jay and Dan dance video version, but did not want to distract from the purity of the song.

RUkered's got a boyfriend. Hilarious.

There's some sort of weird irony in Punk writing a character that is played in the movies by a guy that led to him leaving wrestling which is how he has time to write comics.

Will she be full dead?

I'm joining one of those 1000000 RP deathmatches right now. I know it's a trap, but I have to see one of these shit shows for myself. Edit - well that was a stupid decision

At least freemode worked out well last night. We threw a beach party before the heist bullshit. Got challenged to two one on ones by sub-level 10 guys. Not sure why it's always me that gets challenged to those. The room I spawned into in the middle of our heist fiasco was some sort of organized war between two guys in tanks and a bunch of guys in choppers. I did my part by driving a sticky bombed Prius up one of the tanks' ass before we started trying that damn heist again. I did my best to get sent behind bars with Stout after we punted on the heist. I spawned into the middle of a bigass scrum and figured I 'd take out a couple dots before I went to bed. Stupid me, I was still killing em two hours later. I know I took out at least 15 personal vehicles. Most of the scrum broke up after a while, so I decided see how the game chat was, since it always seems to entertain Stout. There was only one guy on the chat, and he kept complaining about somebody being a retarded-ass n*******. Took me a while to realized that he meant me. I'd already killed him a bunch, so then I really went to town on him. Some guy called Elite something called a mugger on me, and tried to come after me as well, but he kept getting killed for his troubles. The guy that was on the chat finally called mercs, then went in passive on me. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so I hightailed it to my apartment. I was gonna drop off at that point, but I noticed the chat guy had left, and that Elite boy was on the beach. I only managed to kill him one more time before he left too. That left me and one other guy in the game. He was up by Zancudo, but he had a bounty on him. Plus, I wanted to clear the room at that point, so I gave chase. Turned out he was in a jet. He tried to take me out just north of that tunnel under the base, but he flew a little too straight and got shot down. He should've gone into passive, or left, but he didn't seem to get the hint. I started switching to stupid weapons just to break up the monotony of killing him. He challenged me to two deathmatches, and lost both 5-0. I finally got curious what the kill total was and charged him carrying a golf club. Turns out I was up 37-2.

You gotta hydrate, though. Did you have two Gatorades?

All Star Batman was turrible.

Gutless. Heartless. What excuse are we using this year boys? Weren't playing the defending champs. Weren't hurt. Owner and GM got you the big free agent you needed. This team is as talented as there is in the league. First round matchup with a team who is just not as talented as you. Yet same exact fucking result.

It's not TV. It's HBO.Yes, I went there.

Stout - I actually did have a Gatorade just now along with some Goody's powder. That's the Melraz hangover special. Me and Danny Glover are getting too old for this shit. I don't know if I mentioned it last night, but I was on earlier and met my fucking maker. We were up in the marsh or whatever - out where Mis made that sniping deathmatch. This kid kept wearing me out and then killing himself so he'd respawn somewhere else. That was pissing me off, but I guess it's a good tactic. He's up something like 14-1, and then I get a chat invite. I never do it, but I think fuck it why not. I'm like hey what's up, ready for him to talk a bunch of shit. He didn't, but sure enough, he was about 12. He was just calmly chatting me up while he kept whipping my ass. We did a one-on-one toward the end, and finished up our "battle" with him up 23-2. The kid asks - would you like to be friends or keep battling? I said, uhhh considering you've blistered my ass, let's be friends. He then took me around the map showing me good sniping spots and how his crew defends them. Nice enough kid, but damn if that wasn't some humbling shit. I asked him how long he's been playing this game. He thinks for a few seconds and says "Around four months." I immediately shut the damn Xbox off and reevaluated my life for a while.

It will start as a Drax book, but fan demand will soon have it as a Rocket Raccoon book.

I screwed up and didn't make it to the boat twice if I remember right. I have no idea what happened to me last night. I guess my connection dropped or something. All I know is I woke up in bed with a head that feels like it weighs 97 pounds. Too much Gatorade I reckon.

I woulda helped out by sticking a pitchfork up the other end. Is it always that much of a pain in the ass trying to do something with randoms? If I wanted to play that guy's style, I'd be running raids in Destiny, instead of playing GTA. Fuck that, and him.

Some good stuff with Finlay and a really good Cena match once. I liked his match with JBL at No Way Out 2006, also vs Benoit on the draft 2007 RAW. Really loved the Finlay series, Finlay's comeback and run in 2006 was amazing, he was the best thing on WWE TV that year.

At least it is not "cut my face off and then staple it back on" joker.

Bayless just hit Rose with the Meltzer Driver. Cause he's a young buck, you see. I'll leave.

Yeah ive been a bad influence on people since i was 15, but imma hellova nice guy. Im gonna try to get on tonight if i dont crash out i need to explode some dots.

Things that are awesome: Dusty in 1977:

The dude's had three bad bouts of Bell's Palsy. Speaking from experience after just two minor bouts of BP in comparison, it sucks when you can't make the right expression because YOUR FACE DOESN'T WORK. Give the guy a break, he legitimately cannot smile properly, and never will do so again.

Reigns has been good but I thought Show was great in this match and Show also has an awesome LMS match against Del Rio a couple years back. I still don't think either he or Kane should be given such prominent roles in 2015.

Shockingly, the Kickoff was a bunch of words. Wyatt said some new words. BNB-Neville was fun and greatly helped by the crowd being hot for Neville. Nothing match though. Ditto Dean-Harper, and the kiss me arse match was okay. Everything with the post-match that didn't involve the #Sheanus sign was stupid. New Day vs. CK was tons of fun. They have perfect chemistry together with Xavier as the cheerleader and E/Kofi being the classic tank/Porsche combo. Loved the black fan in the crowd with his son just astonished at New Day, who used THE POWER OF POSITIVITY to win. Harper-Dean pt 2 was a thing. Cena-Rusev was hurt by the lights, match layout, and commentary. Lana breakup tease is awful. Naomi has now stolen Sasha's whole act, and lost thanks to the Bellas cheating to win with a 2-on-1 advantage. Yes, they're still faces via a phantom turn. Show vs. Roman was a laborious video game match. LOL @ that stupid finish. They went from one stupid, but visually impressive one to...that. Ryback beat up Bo for no real reason. Bray didn't even save his brother for an in-joke to start the Bray-Ryback feud. KOTR is returning on Tuesday with a #tourneyouttanowhere. Payback's only three weeks away - why not use that for the KOTR finals and make that seem at least important on paper instead of doing a one night tourney out of nowhere? Main event went on forever before RKO-related bullshit and tons of interference happened. WAHOO - RAW IS SEMANTICS tomorrow. http://jayreviewsthings.blogspot.com/2015/04/wwe-extreme-rules-2015.html Screens - Terra Ryzing "Closer...closer!" http://http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/l0y9mb60eo6njdzwc0ef4s7vhixgmyc7

No, it's... Incredible. Thanks, I'll be here all week.

didn't somebody get paid for watching?

Hope FRB knows what he's doing. If Jones didn't actually do this he's in for some legal fun.

If you're offering up parts, we'll give you Enstrom and Ladd for Tank.

I LOVE to get a game-chat play-by-play from my victim. I search them out - see who's chatting, go after them. I usually go after the most annoying person in the chat. Anyone using game chat to broadcast their favorite rap song gets an automatic waypoint set on them. You know you're doing something right when someone on the chat accuses you of being in god mode. I had a great one the other day when someone was talking shit (never a good idea), so I set a waypoint for him, and apparently several other people in the game chat had the same idea without saying a word to each other - there were four vehicles after him at one point. I was passing other players not even taking swipes at them 'cause we were on a mission.

Yeah, that made me really sad last night when I saw you guys on, because I thought "shit, there's four of us, we could've worked on a heist." I haven't done any part of that last one because I'd so much rather do it with people I can stand to talk to. I looked for a stock picture of a kid looking sad while the rest of the kids played on the playground to post here, but I couldn't find one.

Shit yeah. He was annoyin as hell follow me he says. I never wreck he says then 2 seconds later he smacks a car and flips over the hood. He pissed me off so i follow the route and beat his ass by 2 minutes to the boat. Thats called a long cut. Trust me i know all about em. And yeah its always annoying with randoms. I was hopin stout could get out on a work release finish the heist then go back to finish his time.

i hope the Drax book is full of guest stars who upstage the regular cast. --- I predict Punk will bring back the Unlimited Class Wrestling Fed but make it mma and have drax compete in it.

I know that. Doesn't mean I like the idea.

So yeah, the DJ boring thing is done. Get over it.

Yeah, you've definitely been a bad influence. Not just in GTA either. I took the dogs out a few nights ago when I realized I needed to go myself. If I start listening to John Prine and telling people how my farts smell, I'm blaming you. I'd like to use the rest of the month's likes on this, please. I've had a pretty interesting day in Los Santos. Decided to get on and fart around a little bit. One of my daily objectives was a Last Team Standing, so I hit quick job on my phone and hoped something would load. Turned out to be Snipers vs. Stunters. I think one of you mentioned that one before, but it was my first time doing it. We definitely need to do that when we're all on next time - it was some of the most fun I've had solo. On the second round, I was a sniper - 2 on 2. My partner gets killed, and they end up knocking me off the platform. I survived the fall and them clipping me a couple times, trying to run me over. I hop a wall, and they both come at me with crowbars. I killed one, and me and the last guy had a back-and-forth until he got me. It was some Benny Hill shit - cracked me up. Went back to freemode and noticed one guy was killing a ton of people. I went down to check him out and I'm still not sure if he was glitching or not. I never saw him do it on the screen, but on the mini-map, he was zipping around all over the place. His gun sounded like it had a much faster fire rate too. He whipped my ass three times in a row, but the tables turned a little and I managed to start killing him. Finished with me down 5-3, but the last two of my kills were in a row, and his bitch ass went to passive and then left. I'll call it a victory. I then went to finish my last objective - kill someone while off the radar. Simple enough - that's basically like breathing for all of us. There were only four people in the room at that point, so I picked out the one in the east side pay and spray. Got in cover outside the door, threw two proximity mines on the ramp out of there, then queued up my off-the-radar call with Lester and waited with my auto shotgun. When the guy came out, I hit A to go off the radar and shot the guy. I got a case of the limbertail and drove into the LA river to hide and check the guy's level. He was a level 5. I felt that rare twitch of guilt and messaged him saying: "Sorry - it was for an objective. Need any help?" He never responded, but over the course of the next several minutes, I see these messages twice: "RUkered has killed NWA X GTA" and "The personal vehicle you have destroyed...". Those two proximity mines I threw out as insurance in case the other guy got away from me whipped his ass twice (and cost me a lot of money). I'm definitely headed to juvie. I think this will be my new tactic if I know I'm going to be in freemode a while: immediately head to the most popular pay and sprays and throw out proximity mines at each entrance. There's not much in the game more satisfying than seeing that you've killed someone while you're halfway across the map doing something else. It's like the GTA equivalent of stocks - "My money works for me." I went into passive to make a sandwich and came back to NWA X GTA trying to ramp off some steps in a cop car to hop a wall and take me out. I just sat and watched the show while I ate. He never got me. Edit - Mis, that shit is hilarious. Edit 2 - If I'm lying, I'm dying - went to a new room and threw proximity mines at each entrance of the central pay and spray. Killed two within a couple seconds of each other. Last edit and I swear I'll shut up - Apparently the proximity mines glitched or something. I have gotten five kill messages and two bad sport messages while I've been somewhere else chasing a dot down. I don't know what's going on.

Heh, obviously I love my Mavs, but they p much played a perfect game tonight, and it didn't matter. We are a flawed, injured team. I don't see Houston getting past a team that actually plays defense at all 5 positions. REALLY hoping they run into Memphis.

Has anyone posted this leaked Sony e-mail yet? (https://wikileaks.org/sony/emails/emailid/93948 for large version.) Fucking Millennials...

Headline: "Ric Flair: My daughter 'not afraid' to take on Ronda Rousey" and the top 2 comments on /r/squaredcircle were better than their usual: "Dad, stop using me to win bets." "Ric what the fuck are you doing she'll be murdered"

This is the result of watching WCW for several years. (It's probably also the result of drinking before breakfast.)

Are you kidding me? Edmonton? Again? Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck Gary Bettman. Fuck the NHL Lottery. Fuck Edmonton as a team, brand and as a motherfucking crew. And if you down with Edmonton, then fuck you too. Wayne Gretzky? Fuck you too. All of you motherfuckers. Fuck you too.

YES YES FEED ME WITH YOUR RAGE THE INFERNO WILL CONSUME ALL

"There's no better springboard to development than failure." - Craig MacTavish I swear to God, this is not a joke post. Send help.