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This thread is for all dad and for future dads. Need advice or just to vent or just relax this is the place for you. 

 

I just became a dad for the second time last week. I now have two girls. Phoebe is one week old and Madisyn who is a super artsy seven year old in second grade. 

 

Me and the wife are just getting into the swing of things after so long of not having a little one as Maddy does a lot on her own. 

 

If anyone needs advice just ask. Tell us about youself and enjoy the pleasures that comes with being a dad.

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Have a two year old girl. Starting potty training which is a ton of fun. It amazes me each day what new thing she learns.

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We was lucky potty training Madisyn. Me and the wife came down with the virus from hell when she was two and could barely do anything. So Maddy just did it all on her own from that moment on. She took it upon herself and hasn't looked back. I see how lucky we was and hopefully Phoebe goes just as smoothly without the sickness.

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I have a five year old boy and for the life of us we can't get him potty trained over night. He'd like to have sleep overs and his friends houses but we don't want him embarrassed by wearing pull ups at night

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I've learned with two girls that you simply CANNOT force potty-training. Every kid will figure it out at their own pace. 

 

And it's not just for potty-training: learning to read, write, tying shoes, et cetera...you have to let go of your expectations and realize this unique little individual is in the driver's seat, not you. 

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My 5 1/2 year old is dead set on growing up as fast as humanly possible and is obsessed on being a "big girl".  She's relinquished the pacifier with no issue, potty trained herself, and has been trying to learn to read and do math almost overnight.  Its all up to how fast the kids want to learn stuff.  The more pressure you put on them, the more damage you can do.  

 

I'm fully indending to do the same thing with the boy, with letting him hit the milestones when he's ready.  

 

I am finding though that the boy has been doing everything almost the polar opposite to his big sister thus far.  The girl had feeding issues and slept for hour clips.  The boy eats everything we give him, cries only when he has a diaper issue, and sleeps for like, 4-5 hours at a clip.  

 

There is no such thing as "plans" for raising kids, you just adapt as you go.

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My youngest was very "anti-learning"  until this year. She dragged her ass (pun intended?) when it came to potty training, and in preschool when she realized the ABC's was a learning tool? She magically forgot how the song went.  Suddenly, she's in Grade One with a very talented teacher and she is reading at an amazing rate and really taking a shine to school. It's been an amazing change.

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Got y'all beat.  I have six.

 

Three boys (18, 7, 3)

 

Three girls (17, 14, 5)

 

Been there, done that.  Strangely, going from 4 to 5 wasn't that big a deal.  Going from 5 to 6, though, that's a whole 'nother matter.  I need a bigger house.

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My step-sons are both in their thirties, but we live next door to my nephew, his wife and their four-year old daughter. In my wife's tradition, uncles and aunts are all "grandparents" , so despite being far too young, I am now "Grandpa John". Kind of cool, she stays with us from noon to 5PM while her parents are at work and spends most of the time either watching tv or playing with the cats. At least I get caught up on my SpongeBob Squarepants and Fairly Odd Parents, both of which I find strangely compelling...

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Yep, you have to adapt to how your kids are. Phoebe sleeps 2 - 4 hours at a time where my 7 year old madisyn always slept through the night for around 7 hours at a time from the moment we brought her home. 

 

On how they either like or hate learning. Madisyn hates reading, is okay with math and science and loves anything with arts and crafts and music. 

 

OSJ, at least you are in the stage of SpongeBob and OddParents. Just you wait till she graduates to Nick and Disney shows and then you'll want to stab your eyes out and shove pencils in your ears. Though Good Luck Charlie was/is a decent show.

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Got y'all beat.  I have six.

 

Three boys (18, 7, 3)

 

Three girls (17, 14, 5)

 

Been there, done that.  Strangely, going from 4 to 5 wasn't that big a deal.  Going from 5 to 6, though, that's a whole 'nother matter.  I need a bigger house.

 

You need an Alice, Brady Bunch Man. ^_^

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Ok - so here we go.

 

Baby c is now 13 months old - rounding 20lbs and 73cm.

 

Used the walker for the first time properly last week, is babbling like a nut-case, and is cruising around the furniture.

 

I've found the best way to get nutrients from vegetables in is to puree it into a soup. Fuck "the trains coming into the tunnel", fuck "airplanes coming into land". Soup. It. works.

 

Oh, and to the new first time dads here;

Its okay to bawl like a gibbering idiot from time to time - your emotions WILL get the better of you.

You are going to be late for things.

You will invariably smell of puke. Deal.

Talk with other dads.

Listen to strangers advice and thank them for it.

Do not take any advice (apart from my soup tip) seriously - what works for one bundle of joy, may not work for yours.

You are going to do fine.

Help your partner when you can. The I in TEAM is in the a-hole.

You will find reserves of strength you never knew you had.

It takes a real man to bring up a daughter. Oestrogen levels increasing in the household need to be counteracted with beards, sawing blocks of wood and fixing stuff.

Make time for you and your partner to be together again - grandparents, cool aunts and uncles will always offer a hand.

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My daughter is ten and we are now beginning the saga of braces.  She goes to the dentist tomorrow to get spacers put in.  I must be careful not to lose my temper and hunt down and shiv the oral hygenist if my child tells me any horror stories.

 

I think I have done as much pep talking as I can.  I haven't sugar coated anything (It's gonna hurt, kid.) and the best thing I have said to her is that she needs to look forward to her new smile.  The "You don't want a grin like Nanny McPhee's" jokes went a long way to calming her fears.

 

I'm going to call her tonight after work to see if she wants me to tag along with the ex to the appointment tomorrow and next Wednesday.  If she wants me there, then I will be there.  If the young 'un wants to joust the dragon by herself, then It's my duty as Dad to trust her to handle her own business. 

 

.. I am still going to call her as soon as I get back to my apartment..

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I'm the father of a 4 year old autistic daughter, and while it can be really tough sometimes, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  I freaked out last year around this time when her mother and I got the diagnosis, trying to figure out why this happened and wondering if my old lifestyle had a part to do with her diagnosis. I had to be talked off the ledge by my friends(as well as some of the posters on this very board) until I could come to grips with it.  I don't feel sorry for her per se, but I feel bad that she has an upward battle, even though she's not gonna lose as long as she has me at her side.

 

Her issues aside, I love the little things in life that she did, like saying "daddy" as her first words, or using the potty for the first time. I'm also willing to make a fool out of myself just for her.

 

Being a dad is pretty fucking cool.

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She seems lucky to have a dad like you MADCAP. Keep it up!

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I'm the father of a 4 year old autistic daughter, and while it can be really tough sometimes, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  I freaked out last year around this time when her mother and I got the diagnosis, trying to figure out why this happened and wondering if my old lifestyle had a part to do with her diagnosis. I had to be talked off the ledge by my friends(as well as some of the posters on this very board) until I could come to grips with it.  I don't feel sorry for her per se, but I feel bad that she has an upward battle, even though she's not gonna lose as long as she has me at her side.

 

Her issues aside, I love the little things in life that she did, like saying "daddy" as her first words, or using the potty for the first time. I'm also willing to make a fool out of myself just for her.

 

Being a dad is pretty fucking cool.

I came home in the blackest of moods, MADCAP, and this post just brought a ray of sunshine in. Many thanks, sir.

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For the new dads - Ewan the dream (sleep) sheep is your best mate. Seriously - don't know how we could have got through the first five months of her sleeping in a moses basket next to the bed without Ewan. Also made the transition from moses basket to cot bed in her own room really easy. C is now sleeping through the night - 8 to half 6, give or take one or two minor whinging episodes during the night.

 

Be prepared when your nipper goes off to nursery, sleep patterns will change rapidly. They're going to be buzzing their tits off with all the new stimuli, sights, sounds, smells etc that their head is going to be full of stuff - sorta like you on the first day of your new job.

 

We're down to the final 2 oz of SMA milk / full fat milk combo for the night feed...daddy's feed! Almost off the sma stuff - one month to go then we should be on full fat milk for morning and evening feeds (momma's still giving her the first feed in the morning...)

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CiCi's Pizza is both the bane of my existence and the happiest place on earth for these babies. So it's a bit of a tie.

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My daughter loves CiCi's,

 

Well, the spacers are in and my daughter called me last night to thank me for the pep talk.  She says that the dentist gave her some medicine to help her handle the soreness in her gums and her braces go in next Tuesday.

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The best day of my life when my youngest got too old for Chuck E Cheese.  If I never have to enter that casino for children again, it'll be too soon.

 

The main things I've learned after 17 years and four kids:

 

- Follow the baby after it is born.  Don't hang around for the afterbirth.  You aren't ready for it.

- Treasure the precious years because they are over quick- and then your left with surly bastard teenagers.

- The worst years are 3, 7 and 12.  14 through 17 are both awesome and horrifying- depending on the day.

- Friendly persuasion is 5,000 times more effective than screaming and shouting.  It takes forever to develop, but makes for such more beautiful bond with your kids.

 

That's all I got.

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YES! 7 has been a horrible age for my daughter. Wife jokingly swears at times she is hitting pruberty early with her mood swings. Some days are awesome with others no matter what we ask her to do or just talk to her ends up in an arguement. 

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Age 7 was pretty rough but I really can't blame my kid for it.  My daughter lives with my ex-wife and I had just come back to Richmond from my first duty station at TACOM in Michigan.

 

Bri and I had a pretty rocky relationship, but I had been out of her life for four years.  It's not like you can just pull that "Because I'm your father, that's why!" bullshit on your kid.  You have to get to know them all over again.  I earned her respect and she earned mine and we get along much better than we used to. She is still a bit distant sometimes, but we'll grow this good sentiment one encounter at a time.

 

I am not saying that I am her friend though.  Being on good terms with your kid is important, but you can't get so familiar with them that you undermine your own authority.  I am still the father and my decisions are final.

 

All fathers need to BEWARE of grandparents.  Just because you are still their child doesn't mean that you are a child yourself.... or something.

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Maxwell David came into the world Tuesday night.  He's our first.  8 lbs 14 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long.  Healthy baby, mom had a tough delivery (baby decided he wanted his left arm to come out with his head) but she's recovering nicely.  My emotions over the last few days, after being fairly calm all during the pregnancy, went on quite the ride.  Probably had something to do with me and his Mom being awake from 10 PM Monday until 1:30 AM this morning. 

 

Things have calmed and mellowed.  The breastfeeding is going lots better, which is taking lots of the stress off.  We're getting used to his ways and him to ours.

 

Long journey ahead but we're lucky to have a great support system (4 excited grandparents and 2 thrilled aunties) in place.  I'll be checking in here to get some much needed advice from those of you who have gone through all this stuff.

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Congrats on the healthy baby. Welcome to the land of Dads. 

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Congrats offspring...if you need help - or even emotional support, use here as a sounding board.

 

13 month inoculations yesterday - pneumonia, hep-c & meningitis, then the mmr jab. C was a fucking trooper, only crying a wee bit and back to her normal bubbly self within a quarter hour. 

 

Mrs Red and I were shitting it - mainly because of her family history and autism. Yeah, I know the Lancet 98 article was debunked and the doctor who wrote it was struck off the register, but the seeds of doubt were there. Not having the injection was not an option. However, we had a choice of paying £300 for three separate injections at Harley St, or getting all three done in one for free on the NHS.

 

I'm sure C will turn out fine, but its caused me a fuckton of sleepless nights recently.

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