Fantasy Booking

[Matt788]

I don't want to see a message board that books wrestler's heel turns, I want to see a wrestler that books message board heel turns.

Gabe Sapolsky would have booked the sleaze thread era with more of a payoff and slow build. Paul Heyman would have made the Latina floppies guy an admin. Vince Mcmahon would have kept the politics folder. Dixie Carter would have banned Alan4L and Ryan for being able to tell the difference between Kenta Kobashi and KENTA. Dana White would start USADA testing the mods for testosterone enhancing steroids.

I mean the booking of DVDR has been good but we need more late-90's WCW era sensibilities in building feuds.

[BurningBeard]

I'd honestly speculate that the Nasty Boys had 'one tag team title reign' written into their contract when they jumped from WCW. Alas, I too think Power and Glory should've been so much more than they ended up being

[Thunderlips]

I still think it would be a nice thing to have here.

[GuerrillaMonsoon]

Remember that part in Foley's first book when Vince is trying to sell him on how they've never had a MUTILATOR before?

They should have debuted Foley under the premise that he cut his own dong off, and would do the old Memphis trope of reaching into his tights for his now detachable penis to use as a foreign object to win matches, if for no other reason than to fuck with Jim Ross by making him do play by play in disgust at the babyface being nailed with a loaded penis, all the whilst keeping a straight face.

I mean sure, See No Evil probably doesn't get made..

[Spritenaut 32]

13 hours ago, RolandTHTG said:

Remember that part in Foley's first book when Vince is trying to sell him on how they've never had a MUTILATOR before?

I haven't read any of Foley's books.  Is this what it sounds like (Vince wanted the Mankind gimmick to include self-mutilation?)

[Nice Guy Eddie]

13 hours ago, RolandTHTG said:

Remember that part in Foley's first book when Vince is trying to sell him on how they've never had a MUTILATOR before?

They should have debuted Foley under the premise that he cut his own dong off, and would do the old Memphis trope of reaching into his tights for his now detachable penis to use as a foreign object to win matches, if for no other reason than to fuck with Jim Ross by making him do play by play in disgust at the babyface being nailed with a loaded penis, all the whilst keeping a straight face.

I mean sure, See No Evil probably doesn't get made..

His entrance theme could have been King Missile's "Detachable Penis". A truly missed opportunity.

[Curt McGirt]

7 hours ago, Vader does my taxes! said:

I haven't read any of Foley's books.  Is this what it sounds like (Vince wanted the Mankind gimmick to include self-mutilation?)

Naw, Foley already did the self-mutilation really. The story is that when Foley went in to meet with Vince the first time he said there's been Crushers, there's been Bruisers, but there's never been a Mutilator in wrestling before... and his idea was to call him Mason the Mutilator (because Manson was part of Cactus' previous name and Manson was, well, Manson) and "put him under a hood" (wear a mask). Foley bullshitted his way through that and finally came up with Mankind and Vince bought it.

After thinking about that can you only imagine the kind of horseshit Bray Wyatt has had to put up with?

[BEN!]

I'll tell you how they should've turned Roman Reigns heel, baby!

The Raw after the SummerSlam, when Stephanie, Foley, and Balor are in the ring and just as Balor is about to weepily speak about surrendering the WWC Universal Championship, The Big Dog interrupts.  He tells Foley and Stephanie that he is ready for his US Championship match that he didn't get at SummerFest and gets informed that Rusev isn't there because Reigns injured him.  Reigns says he's ready to compete for a championship and asks "Irish Eyes Are Crying" over there if he wants to put his new championship on the line like a real champion.  Says he saw him on TV that morning and he wasn't wearing a sling then.  Says he never looked for an excuse to quit competing.  Lost his WrestleMania moment against Brock Lesnar when Rollins cashed in on him in the middle of his match and didn't complain.  Refused to be handed the World Championship when Rollins had to surrender the title due to injury and went through a tournament to win the championship and promptly lost it when Sheamus cashed in on him but didn't complain.  Had to defend the World Championship against 29 other Superstars in the Royal Rumble match and even though he was set up to fail by The Authority he still didn't complain.  Got blamed for Raw not getting the World Championship even though, "you had the first pick and took Rollins instead of Ambrose and even worse you picked that guy over there before me.  Balor when you beat me to get to the finals, I thought you were the real deal and said I respected you.  Looking at you ready to take the easy way out, I was wrong."  Balor accepts his challenge and while Balor argues with Foley and Stephanie, Reigns spears him from behind.  Ref enters, Balor struggles to get to his feet, bell rings, Superman punch, 1-2-3, new champion of the universe, Roman Reigns, The Big Dog!

The next week, Foley and Stephanie are furious with Reigns' actions and demand he come to the ring.  Reigns says he's not going to take any crap off of them anymore and if they've got a problem with the champ then to take it up with his new manager, The World's Greatest Wrestling Promoter, Colonel Robert Parker!  Col. Parker says, "The office has time and again swatted The Big Dog on the nose with the proverbial rolled up newspaper and he's tried to be a good boy and take it but from now on The Big Dog is off the leash and he's going to run wild all over the WWE Universe and none of your bureaucratic BS is going to stand in his way anymore with the Colonel handling the paperwork and with The Stud Stable backing him up, there won't be any more of those back jumping Money In The Bank cash-ins to worry about and from now on these last dog days of summer shall be known as The Big Dog Days Of Summer, babygirl!"

[Nice Guy Eddie]

I wasn't feeling it until the inclusion of Col. Parker and the Stud Stable. 

[Wyld Samurai]

You're pandering to your audience with the inclusion of The Studebaker Stable.

[GuerrillaMonsoon]

The artist sketch of who killed Biggie Smalls.

Booker T circa 1997

Cagematch notes that Booker T wasn't wrestling that night.

Rock N Wrestling, but with Netflix. Making A Murderer Part 2. Get the No Limit Soldiers involved too. Booker T (w/ Brandon Dassey) vs Swoll at Mania. Sean Combs is already getting paid by WWE at the moment.....it's seamless.

[BEN!]

Everybody thinks Ciampa is going to turn on Gargano when they lose to The Revival.  You wrong, babygirl.  Lemme tell you how it goes down, baby!

Ciampa/Gargano look like they've got the NXT Tag Team Championship within their grasp when all of a sudden BUNKHOUSE BUCK! comes through the crowd and tosses a cowbell to one of The Revival who brains Gargano with it for the pin.  We go to the back where one of the interviewers is with The Revival and Bunkhouse when Col. Parker, Mandy Rose, and a bottles popping THE MONSTER MENG! walk in.  The Colonel announces that he's been impressed with The Revival and has signed them up as junior associates of The Stud Stable and since he's a busy man and can't always be at NXT, he's signed Mandy Rose as his "personal assistant" and NXT liason.  Back to the ring where Gargano is still drawsy if you will and Ciampa is absolutely fuming.  It looks like Ciampa is finally going to attack Gargano but instead he gets down on one knee and proposes to Gargano.  Gargano says YES!

At the wedding, Renee Young is backstage with AJ Styles, Karl Anderson, and Luke Gallows.

RY: "It's nice that you're here supporting the gay community, AJ."

AJ: *SPITS PUNCH ON RENEE* "THE GAY COMMUNITY!?!  You guys told me we were getting cake."

LG: "We are. This is a gay wedding, Hoot."

AJ: "You guys are getting married!?!

*ANDERSON AND GALLOWS SPIT PUNCH ON EACH OTHER*

RY: "Let's go to Tom Phillips with some more guests."

KA: "HOT ASIAN WIFE, AJ!"

 

TP: "Thanks, Renee, I'm here with Titus O'Neil"

TO: "AROOAROOAROOAROO!"

TP: "Are you here for the groom or the groom?"

TO: "Man, I'm here for the buffet.  Regal called me and told me my NXT Redemption Points were expiring so I bought 3 tickets to the buffet.  I'm going to eat all the food tonight."

Mark Henry enters: "No you ain't.  I'm going to eat all the food tonight."
AJ Styles sprints into the scene: "You better not eat all the cake!  Hey, Tim, is gay wedding cake sweeter than regular wedding cake?"

TP: "Ummm, oh hey, Darren Young and Mr. Backlund.  What are your feelings about tonight's historical wedding?"

DY:  "As a gay man..."
BB:  "WHAT?"

DY: "I'm gay."
BB: "HOW CAN YOU BE GAY WITH YOUR WIN/LOSS RECORD?  YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO BE HAPPY, RIGHT NOW!  NOW GET OVER THERE AND DO A THOUSAND HINDU SQUATS!"

DY: "No, I mean..."
BB: "DON"T YOU TELL ME NO!  WE HAVE TO MAKE DARREN GREAT AGAIN THEN YOU CAN BE GAY!  I WILL BE GAY WHEN DARREN IS GREAT AGAIN!  THE ENTIRE WWE UNIVERSE WILL BE GAY WHEN DARREN IS GREAT AGAIN!  ISN"T THAT RIGHT, YOUNG MAN?"

TP: "Well, no, I think he..."

BB: "NO!  YOU DON"T THINK, YOUNG MAN!  YOU GET OVER THERE AND DO A THOUSAND SQUATS TOO!"

 

Tully Blanchard presides over the wedding.  He basically cuts a promo on The Revival for 15 minutes about how they couldn't carry his or Arn's jock.  Then he introduces Juventud Guerrera who performs a special song for the occasion...

Spoiler

 

TB: "What the fu..."

Then Blanchard goes right back to going off on The Revival and then finally declares Ciampa and Gargano as man and man when The Revival walk down to the ring with a special gift for the couple.  It's The Drifter who is about to sing a song when The Juice protests because he's the night's Juicy singer and he subsequently gets el kabonged.  The Revival then hit the ring and are doing a number on Ciampa and Gargano when Blanchard turns the tide until a bow tie and top hatted Bunkhouse Buck comes through the crowd and lays Blanchard out with the cowbell.  We go off the air with The Revival, The Drifter, and Bunkhouse Buck standing tall.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

Hmmm, do I go with Delightful or Glorious for Ben's latest booking idea? I think either one would be appropriate.

[BobbyWhioux]

Stephen Douglas hits Abraham Lincoln with a hickory-wood chair after Lincoln agrees to the series of debates.

Because contract signings always end in violence.

[Optional:  Douglas then uses the hickory wood chair to climb up and grab the leather knapsack with the Presidential Seal inside.]

[BobbyWhioux]

Too Soon?

[Marty Sugar]

I don't know guys, I think Ben has overbooked Bunkhouse Buck to death. The fans just won't buy it anymore. Time to replace him with...Lash Leroux?

[GuerrillaMonsoon]

Lash Leroux being signed to the Cruiserweight division on RAW in a Mr. America-esque sight unseen contract signing (and ensuing "I've done it again" promos from Stephanie), only to be deemed too fat to compete would be superb.

From there you can either have him pretend to be Samoan, and have him as a lackey for Roman, Joe or the Usos as a Samoan In Training.......or bring back Scott Steiner to get him into shape.

[BEN!]

NXT TakeOver: The ReaTAKEning

Special 8-man tag team match: The Stud Stable's Bunkhouse Buck teams with the Stable's junior associates The Revival and The Drifter against the newlyweds Tommaso Ciampa-Wrestling and Johnny Gargano-Penmanship, Juventud Guerrera, and Tully Blanchard.

We open backstage where the interviewer runs into Titus O'Neil and questions why he's there.  Says he bought VIP tickets for his whole family with his NXT Redemption Points.  Officials and trainers rush by them and they follow along where we see Juventud Guerrera on the ground in pain.  The trainers are asking him what hurts and he says, "This not juicy, baby.  Help the Juice, baby."  Regal suggests that Titus had something to do with this but he denies it.  Tully challenges Titus to step up and prove that he's really "The Big Deal" that he claims he is and be their partner tonight.  Titus says he'll see them out there.

During the match Gargano-Penmanship makes the hot tag to Titus O'Neil.  He barks and then simply walks out.  Blanchard goes apoplectic and chases after him and Buck jumps Tully from behind in the aisle and hogties him to the barricade.  In the ring, the damn numbers game is too much for DIY as they fall to the Shatter Machine.

Backstage, The Colonel, Mandy Rose, a champagne-chugging Meng, Bunkhouse Buck, The Revival, The Drifter, and Titus O'Neil celebrate.  Interviewer questions why Titus turned on his partners.  Colonel hands Titus a giant wad of cash.  Titus hands Col. Parker his remaining NXT Redemption Points.  "This!  This is why I did it.  Cold hard cash, baby!  Tully Blanchard got the nerve to question me.  You know how many groceries those NXT Redempion Points put on the table?  How many clothes they put on my kids' backs?  None!  The Colonel wanted them and I took his money in return."  Questioned why he'd want seemingly useless NXT Redemption Points, Parker tells the interviewer not to worry about that right now and he wants Drifter to play some good Elvis music so they can get this celebration started right.

We go to Blanchard and DIY and Blanchard apologizes to DIY and that he should've known what kind of low-down no-good guys Titus and Col. Parker are cause he used to be just as low-down and no-good and if DIY want to get those NXT Tag Team Championships then they need to be willing to throw the rule book out the window too which leads to...

NXT TakeOver: TAKEing It To The Streets

Non-Title Tag Team Street Fight between Revival and DIY.  Mandy Rose leads Revival to the ring.  Tries to interfere with the cowbell when Tully Blanchard appears on the stage and he waves to the back and his daughter Tessa charges to the ring and chases Mandy Rose around and around and out of the arena.  The Drifter charges to the ring and tries to get Tully with his guitar but who's that jumping out the sky?  J-U-I-C-Y!  It's the Juice, baby and he leaps off the guardrail onto The Drifter and breaks the guitar over Drifter's head.  In the ring, DIY pick up the win over The Revival and earn a title shot at...

NXT TakeOver: Stay Took

The Stud Stable's here in force tonight and Col. Parker says that Mandy Rose has kept him abreast of the situation and that he's confident that his investment in NXT will pay off.

DIY win the titles.  Such confetti.  Much balloons.

Backstage, Revival are making excuses.  Meng is furious that he can't pop the bottle on the champagne tonight.  Shinsuke Nakamura wanders into the shot heading to ring for his title match that evening.  Stops, starts gyrating as he does at The Stud Stable.  Bunkhouse Buck gets in his face.  Starts pumping his fists as he does.  Revival and Meng hold Buck back.  Nakamura takes Buck's nose and dances off.  Buck is furious and says nobody takes his doggone nose.

Back to the ring, interviewer is with DIY.  Gargano-Penmanship thanks the fans.  Ciampa-Wrestling says he's got one thing he wants to say and then drills Gargano-Penmanship with his belt, "I want a divorce."  Ciampa-Wrestling then walks off with both belts.

[zev]

Did the creator of this thread get banned before actually offering any fantasy booking, or did I miss an epic "Hollywood Hogan faces Sly Stallone on Nitro to avenge his biggest non-win not involving Warrior" post?

Ok really, I just posted in here to say Cheers Ben, you got the DIY winning the titles right. But now, has Nakamura taken anyone's nose yet, and can it be somehow tied to the finish of his last ever match with Samoa Joe in NXT, which may or may not happen before 2020?

[Petey]

As a legit huge Col. Robert Parker fan, I'm all in with Ben's idea.