Grand Theft Auto V Talk.

[jstout]

"Go get another dump truck. This should surely make that dalm train stop."

J.T., there's a reason we referred to you as the General, you know.

"Cover his flank on the Oscar Delta Gamma"

"How's about we just shoot his sorry ass?"

We're simple country people. All we know is suicide bombing. And I could never snipe worth a shit, but that's because Robert and Melraz wouldn't let me. Everything I tried to aim at would be dead by the time I pulled the trigger. That's why I converted to Islam and started racking up my incredible tally of virgins. Unfortunately:

 

[J.T.]

10 hours ago, jstout said:

J.T., there's a reason we referred to you as the General, you know.

"Cover his flank on the Oscar Delta Gamma"

"How's about we just shoot his sorry ass?"

Me trying to shout out tactics on the fly in GTA:O Free Mode sooo reminds me of

with me as Hans Gruber and everyone else as Karl.

[melraz09]

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DWp_K8prLfso&ved=0ahUKEwiQ34bQoozMAhXMGj4KHXkRCJgQ3ywIHDAA&usg=AFQjCNHof7_Fw9pf1iOQRlbyHwscOfGhtA

 

That's the way i play freemode. Only difference is my glasses aka beer goggles makes me see everybody as zombie aliens

 

Sorry imma dumb ass and don't know how to put the video directly on here. Ah smart phones are way smarter than me. 

[J.T.]

14 hours ago, jstout said:

We're simple country people. All we know is suicide bombing. And I could never snipe worth a shit, but that's because Robert and Melraz wouldn't let me. Everything I tried to aim at would be dead by the time I pulled the trigger. That's why I converted to Islam and started racking up my incredible tally of virgins.

I am old and dumb.   I totally missed a golden opportunity to make fun of Stout's religious epiphany. 

There is no way that mother fucker has given up bacon or brown liquor.

[Robert C]

My personal missed opportunity is never using the correct response when JT complained about the night shift keeping him up shooting dots.  Definitely shoulda gone with "we keep odd hours".  Going with "we mostly come out at night.  mostly" would've worked as well, but it's hard to top this guy:

[RIPPA]

Just started re-reading the thread.

God damn is this fucker long

Found this gem

 

[melraz09]

Dalm that could have been one of 2 or 3 nights. 

[RUkered]

These last couple of pages have made me do enough spit takes that y'all owe me a new monitor.

[Robert C]

40 minutes ago, melraz09 said:

Dalm that could have been one of 2 or 3 nights. 

Think you might've left off a couple zeros there.

[melraz09]

002 or 003 is the same as 2 or 3. 

If I have any cash after vacation I'll be gettin a one upon my arrival back home. Readin all this is makin me wanna blow the dust offa the gun safe and get back after it. 

[AxB]

Thought I'd look back at the start of the thread too. And this quote stood out.

On 15/08/2013 at 4:07 PM, Gonzalez said:

• GTA Online will initially cover the same terrain as the pseudo-California-based GTA V. But Rockstar is hinting that we'll be breaking those borders at some point. From the company's official description: "Grand Theft Auto Online … begins by sharing gameplay features, geography and mechanics with Grand Theft Auto V, but will continue to expand and evolve after its launch.."

Initially covers the same terrain, does it? Begins by sharing geography, does it? Do you think it'll stop sharing geography and start covering other terrain at any point... three years later or something?

[PetrolCB]

Love it or leave it, Ax. You might as well have said... 

"Last week I said GTA was a giant toilet bowl. … If you were gonna give free-roam an enema, you’d stick the hose right here in Los Santos!”

[jstout]

13 hours ago, J.T. said:

I am old and dumb.   I totally missed a golden opportunity to make fun of Stout's religious epiphany. 

There is no way that mother fucker has given up bacon or brown liquor.

No brown liquor - I'm a teetotaler - but you'll pry my bacon from my cold, dead hands. I unconvert, screw that. Now I'm just a mad bomber.

[Neil Koch]

10 hours ago, AxB said:

Thought I'd look back at the start of the thread too. And this quote stood out.

Initially covers the same terrain, does it? Begins by sharing geography, does it? Do you think it'll stop sharing geography and start covering other terrain at any point... three years later or something?

They've made $500 million off of Shark cards.  There's no reason for them to do anything different.

[RIPPA]

Robert feeling the way I am sure we all felt at one point

Quote

They really need to allow you to block certain matches/races automatically from the random list.  As it is now, the game and I have a very dysfunctional relationship.  My typical attempt to find a decent deathmatch last night was basically this:

me:  give me a random deathmatch

GTA:  ok, how about Prison Thugz?

me:  Thanks but no.  Something else please.

GTA:  Here's a crowd pleaser - Seal Team 6

me:  Sorry, no. 

GTA:  Ok, let me think.  I got it - Saving Ryan's Privates.

me:  Same problem as Seal Team 6.  Can I have something different please?

GTA:  Are you sure you don't want to do Prison Thugz?

me:  I'm sure, let's find something else

GTA:  How about this, then?  I've got a melee set in the prison, but it's not called Prison Thugz!

me:  uh-uh. 

GTA:  how about this exciting user created match on top of a building?  everybody has baseball bats!

me:  no melee.

GTA:  Seal Team 6!  No melee in that!

me:  Seriously?  We've been over this.

GTA:  here's a user created match with an enormous map and one other person in it.

me:  I'll spend 15 minutes in there to get 2 kills.

GTA:  are you absolutely certain you don't want to do Prison Thugz?

me:  you/re starting to piss me off.

GTA:  come on man, let's do Prison Thugz!  Everybody loves it!

me: Go to hell.  I'm gonna go put in Skyrim.

GTA:  Fine, be a loser.  I'll put you in Classy Construction.

me:  thank you.

 

[Robert C]

On 9/9/2014 at 2:03 PM, RUkered said:

Come at me, Bing. And while you're focused on me, Melraz has snuck up on you like a velociraptor.

I've been rereading off and on for a while.  Somehow I missed RUkered taunting search engines the first time around.

[jstout]

Man, those were the "days" - you'd probably get an invite to Prison Thugz Fight about once every 10 seconds. I've had situations where that one was really fun - generally if everyone in the match is on a chat together or talking through the party chat so everyone can provide play-by-play. That bus sucked. I would sometimes dash for the bus just so I could get in and find a place to wreck it so no one else could drive it.

Now, it's either some type of variant on stunters vs. shooters or some kind of supposed RP/money thing. Races are generally either jump extravaganzas (which sometimes just don't work or only work as a GTA race due to speed boosts but are often played as non-GTA races) or those wall run races. You still get lots of invites to heists, and several invites to Lamar's missions, but very littlle else. I've tried to join Lamar's missions several times, but we can never get 4.

 

 

[Dolfan in NYC]

I still get Rooftop Rumble invites and generally whatever activity is double RP that week.  

I actually just did a Prison Thugz Fight last week and it was nostalgia time as the house was full.  Made me remember how fun that thing was.  Ended up tied for 1st in kills with 4 other guys.  Of course, the tiebreaker (deaths) took me down to 5th.  

Oh well.  Still loads of fun. 

[jstout]

I'm tellin' ya, much funner if you get to shit talk the person you just beat to death.

Melraz created a deathmatch that was like Prison Thugz Fight, except with lots of molotov cocktail pickups. That's a few tweaks away from complete greatness. Everybody just runs around setting each other on fire.

I miss that four-way jumps race. That one rocks. It was especially challenging when we'd play it GTA style and Dan would just camp out at the ramp screwing with everyone who drove by.

Edit: I posted this on Melraz's Facebook page so his friends could get a laugh out of my plight, but I thought I'd post it here, too:

Every time I go grocery shopping at my local Kroger in the afternoon, they're playing country from the late '80s-early '90s on the store's sound system. I have to laugh every time I go in there, because it's always something I've had the "pleasure" to hear Melraz and RUkered sing while we're playing Xbox.

Sure enough, I walk in today and immediately hear "I thought ... he walked ... on water." That's a drunken duo classic, right there.

 

 

 

[PetrolCB]

5 hours ago, jstout said:

Now, it's either some type of variant on stunters vs. shooters or some kind of supposed RP/money thing. Races are generally either jump extravaganzas (which sometimes just don't work or only work as a GTA race due to speed boosts but are often played as non-GTA races) or those wall run races. You still get lots of invites to heists, and several invites to Lamar's missions, but very littlle else. I've tried to join Lamar's missions several times, but we can never get 4.

 

 

Lamar's missions are a pain in the ass to host. You need to join and back out several times till you're host. Otherwise, you'd end up stuck with a bunch of dopes. 

They're pretty fun though. Heists are stale and these are a decent placeholder till something else comes out.

[Dolfan in NYC]

No more Heists per R*.   I'm sure they'll have more for VI, but the ones they put out were delayed by nearly 2 years, so they've said no more.  

[PetrolCB]

Oh yeah, I knew that. I just meant something in the same vein. Instead, we'll just get more shitty low riders and adversary modes. 

[Robert C]

That makes me wonder if we're getting GTA 6 earlier than I was guessing,  I was kinda figuring on 2019 or so, but maybe it will end up being 2018.  What they're releasing for online now can't really need that much development effort, so I'd think they already have a reasonable number of folks on the next game.  I keep thinking they'll have another Red Dead out first, but maybe not.

[RIPPA]

I know it was posted in the UUDD thread but - Creed finally plays GTA V Online

 

[AxB]

The other thing I found looking at the older posts in the thread is where FSW gives his PSN name (which he was really shy to do because he liked to talk shit and not have to back it up - he never joined the DVDR crew purely to avoid us; he only gave it out because he thought Reggie was going to gift him millions), snakedoctor008. According to psn profiles, that name doesn't exist on Playstation Network, Do you think he might be banned from that too?