The Great WWE Stock Crash of 2014

[piranesi]

That's the Danearys Targarean of Morgantown.

[Big Fresh]

Well I hope I don't cross her path. She'd kill me.

[piranesi]

She's moved on to Warhammer now, so unless you've completely given up on life you should be okay.

[Antacular]

This is NOT where I wanted this thread to go. If we insist on discussing T-girls, may I please direct everyone to the FUCK YOU thread. Thanks.

[Elsalvajeloco]

Why are people not talking about the several empty Snapple bottles underneath the passenger seat? Those have been there for DAYS.

[piranesi]

When you're rollin' up on haters you don't have time for bathroom breaks.

[Elsalvajeloco]

WHERE DOES THE CHIN END AND THE NECK BEGIN? SO MANY UNANSWERED ANATOMY QUESTIONS!

[Big Fresh]

Why are people not talking about the several empty Snapple bottles underneath the passenger seat? Those have been there for DAYS.

Shit dude, my passenger side is filled with empty energy drink cans that have been there for months.

[Elsalvajeloco]

That's disgusting on two levels. 

[Big Fresh]

That's it. Where did I put the handle to my car jack???

[Kuetsar]

We should have a HOF for threads like this. . . .

[piranesi]

 

Why are people not talking about the several empty Snapple bottles underneath the passenger seat? Those have been there for DAYS.

Shit dude, my passenger side is filled with empty energy drink cans that have been there for months.

 

 

Man, I'd hate to have to take stock like that of what I managed to do with all the energy from those particular energy drinks all those months ago.  To have them sitting there reminding you.  That's soul searching.

 

I'd be like: "I remember that energy drink.  I converted that energy into a half-hearted threat to cancel my Edge membership after failing to get more than $3.27 in trade-in for Pikmin 2 at Gamestop.  Well done, Me-three-months-ago!"

[Craig H]

I feel like Rippa is keeping this thread going just so Antacular sees how it feels for shit to get derailed.

[IHFP]

This thread is a containment zone.

[piranesi]

1 (800) 454-8000

[Antacular]

Oh please. I routinely stay on-topic, unless it's one of the omnibus' threads, where anything goes by definition. Once this baby drops below $10, you'll all be begging me for insights into their working capital efficiency via the cash conversion cycle. Begging.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

I still can't believe I got internet tough guy'd. I know this thread has improved since then but I just...it's 2014! We're all self aware aren't we?

 

And it was because the Black Keys aren't very good!

[Brian Fowler]

This thread is like a roller coaster. It's amazing.

[Antacular]

[Big Fresh]

And it was because the Black Keys aren't very good!

Shut up.

[piranesi]

This thread is like a roller coaster. It's amazing.

 

If the world worked right, it should count toward the stock price:

"This quarter WWE has grown its Incidental Interactivity Irrelevance Division (I.I.I.D.) through a series of massively engaging antics by well-placed company operatives, including CM Punk himself.  We've seen quarter to quarter increases in high-profile bannings as well as locked threads.  While it's true that our online performance center has suffered from a certain amount of cost overrun associated with the consumption of snack foods we recently succeeded in creating an actual in-the-wild "real world tough guy challenge."  something that the jagoffs at SUITS could only hope for in their wildest dreams.

We expect the division to achieve profitability in approximately the year never A.D."

 

[Antacular]

^ Wow.

[BEN!]

Just glancing through this thread should clearly illustrate to anybody curious as to why WWE can't get better advertising rates.
 

We are talking about Nielsen ratings for an MMA reality show and ben. made a post that didn't involve the stud stable saving the stock price. This is the worst thread.

 
ben. ≠ BEN!

Two different members of the Ben-Nation.
 
I can still fix WWE's stock price though.
 
Picture it, Swagger's about to wrestle Rose.  The ring is surrounded by Rosebuds.  All of a sudden BUNKHOUSE BUCK! climbs over the rail and starts swinging a cowbell at the Rosebuds and chases them all to the back and onto Rose's Exotic Express.  Then THE MONSTER MENG! appears and turns the bus over and karate chops it till it goes up in flames.  The party's over for them.  Buck and Meng go to the ring and along with Swagger hogtie Rose and carry him out of the arena.  The Colonel meets them on the stage and he shakes hands with Zeb.

 

Next couple of weeks we see video from the Colonel's ranch where Rose is hanging upside down in a barn and Curtis Axel and Ryback are beating the fun out of him.   Then one week while Cesaro is wrestling, Leo Kruger appears from under the ring and stalks Heyman.  The rest of the Stud Stable hits the ring and jumps Cesaro and proceed to pummel him while Heyman freaks out from afar.
 
The next week, the Colonel and Zeb issue a warning to Heyman.  The Stud Stable rule the WWE Universe now.  His Swiss superman can't stop them and his "beast" can't either.  That brings Lesnar out next week who tears through Axel, Ryback, and Swagger but gets pulled back by Heyman before Meng gets near him.
 
The stage is set for SummerSlam, it's THE MONSTER MENG! vs. "The Beast" Brock Lesnar, NO HOLDS BARRED!  Two competitors will step into the ring, only one will walk out.  WWE can charge all the Bitcoins they want for that match.  Stocks through the roof.  Coke getting snorted off strippers' asses again.  The economy is saved!
 

Why are people not talking about the several empty Snapple bottles underneath the passenger seat? Those have been there for DAYS.

What do you think Juggalo e-coins are backed by? Magnets? How would that even work?  Snapple bottles are the gold standard of the Juggalo economy.

[Brian Fowler]

And it's only getting better.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

 

And it was because the Black Keys aren't very good!

Shut up.

 

Republican band, I guess.