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SECRET SANTO 2023~!


Matt D

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On 12/30/2023 at 6:08 AM, Sammo~! said:

I got one for you. Fun tag match, I think you like one of the guys in it. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZIH3KMi6ss

Apologies for the delay. Thank you for a Bryan Danielson match I haven't seen. Here's one for you as two days time Danielson will have his first NJPW match in 20 years so to mark it:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3hCoMvRtJhc&pp=ygUZYnJ5YW4gZGFuaWVsc29uIGN1cnJ5IG1hbg%3D%3D

I tend to give people two choices and here's the second only just recently added to YouTube:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lxHscUgchQ0&pp=ygUUYnJldCBoYXJ0IGZ1bGwgbWF0Y2g%3D

Cheers!

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On 12/27/2023 at 2:06 PM, Curt McGirt said:

Alright then Mr. Dynamito, I got two for you. First, you gonna review the 5-on-5 that Natural couldn't watch

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7to7v5

and holy crap I just found this while going back in the BLOODSUCKING FREAKS thread to find that elusive IWRG match 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzADuUaxIjw&t=1725s&ab_channel=CactusBackWrestling

So, considering the popularity of The Iron Claw, you get to see... the Iron Claw.

I am starting this off with the former on account of it featuring ten guys I gotta write about and 36 minutes of action. THIRTY SIX, MY MAN. You're really putting me to WORK! As retribution here's 36 observations about this match, from minute to minute.

---

1. Osamu Kido’s deeply conservative haircut. It looks like he just got back from the war and his wife has asked him to grow out his crew cut and he’s simply *hated* himself once it got over ½ an inch. Osamu Kido never had a natural looking haircut in his life. It was like he was cursed to always look like he was wearing somebody else’s hair as a wig.

2.As though he read every word I just typed and deemed them entirely necessary to one-up Kido across time and space, Kantaro Hoshino still has some foil stuck in his hair from his perm. I’m not making this up. Inoki and Maeda are arguing about who should start the match but I can’t pay attention to it. Did nobody tell him? Is this a rib??

3. We do get Inoki and Maeda to start, and I love how every bit of Inoki’s body and facial language is saying “alright, make me sell, bitch”.

4. Maybe the reason early-match limbwork became such a tired trend in NJPW is because people watched Yoshiaki Fujiwara dig for armbars like a dirty, dirty dawg and thought they could do it too. They can’t, nobody can.

5. Kids these days don’t know about Kantaro Hoshino. Him being the defacto Ricky Morton in these elimination matches is the best stuff he ever did., apologies to the Liger matches.

6. A young Kazuo Yamazaki is a strange lookin’ specimen. Some men are just B2BB (Born 2 Be Bald). Boy they’re tagging fast in this one.

7. Umannosuke Ueda is clearly part of some Squad Exchange program. It’s like like Tony Iommi doing a one-night only gig with the Rat Pack. He is literally tagged in for one second.

8.  We’re beginning to ask the obvious question - does Yamazaki get eliminated first as the lowest guy on the totem pole? Or do we lose Hoshino or Kengo first to create a babyface disadvantage?

9. Kengo Kimura (who is sneaky tall, like Chrisitan or somebody like that) must have said something rude about Takada’s fauncy boots because he is now getting the shit kicked out of him.

10. A proud but stern Maeda decides to show the cubs what a real shit-kicking looks like. And when Yamazaki gets his turn to make aniki proud, he’s promptly backslided. Blackslid. Slidden. There are consequences to your actions, kiddo.

11. Hoshino vs. Kido is the first pairing that the crowd really doesn’t care about.

12. You know who notices? Inoki.

13. Inoki vs. Fujiwara is always a battle between the madness of civilization and the stability of barbarism.  If I had any fukken clue what I was talking about I’d say their wrestling plays out like the correspondences between Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard.

14. In almost all of his matches, Fujiwara will make a face that I can only refer to as a Luchador’s Grin. I think he would have done a great job emoting while wearing a mask. His eyes do significantly less work than the rest of his face.

15. Kengo and Maeda enter together - they have a chance to do a sequence with Maeda looking for revenge after Yamazaki’s elimination, but Fuijnami just tags in and I’m acting like I’m disappointed by the new pairing. But they don’t commit to that either.

16. Has Japan ever produced a more purely white-meat babyface than Tatsumi Fujinami? It’s not a knock.

17. Hoshino and Fujiwara (who are establishing themselves as the workhorses) do this AWESOME spot where Fujiwara is stacked ass-to-the-heavens on a backslide but still manages to get a shoulder up despite not really “kicking out”. Camera catches it perfectly. 3/4s of the crowd maybe not so much.

18. A tale as old as time - if you’re in an elimination tag and you’re getting a lot of shit in, it’s probably because you’re about to leave the match. Fare thee well, Hoshino. Go find your hair dresser and see who put them up to it.

19. Did Osamu Kido’s backdrop always look that *violent*? It’s like he has a vendetta against terminal velocity, trying to drop his man down as fast as possible.

20. Umannosuke Ueda (who I appreciate more than most) tags in for TWO seconds this time and has still done nothing. He has been downgraded to Geezer Butler at best.

21. I thought eliminations were over-the-top-rope in these 5-on-5’s but Kimura gets eliminated going under the bottom one? Eh? Did I have it wrong?

22. This observation is bathed in the benefit of hindsight, but it’s quite funny how non-shooty Takada’s stuff actually looked. To the untrained eye you wouldn’t think about it for a second, but his offense looks “too good”. I wouldn’t change Takada’s crazy career arc of UWF-> UWFi-> PRIDE-> HUSTLE for the world but I want to watch the alternate history where he’s a straightforward NJPW guy.

23. Ueda is going to get some love if he is *ever* tagged in, but the longer this goes the longer I realize the UWF team is kinda getting chumped and NJPW might not even need him.

24. Fujinami applies a sasori-gatame and gets kicked in the face by Akira Maeda. FORESHADOWING. I really do think the Choshu thing was a semi-honest botch like Maeda claims.

25. Inoki vs. Maeda doesn’t get enough credit as one of the greatest feuds to never happen. For both the assumed match quality + the insane backstage drama that would have doubtlessly unfolded.

26. Fujiwara and Fujinami being the two to announce “ok, the teams are trying to win now” is the correct call. And you can tell because they’re sweaty.

27. Working a minute-long headlock for both guys to go tumbling out is fine by me, brother. But I’m concerned because…

28. The only two NJPW guys left are Inoki and Ueda and whatever story they’ve been telling with Ueda’s forced non-participation hasn’t made any sense yet. And I don’t think the remaining UWF team actually has a chance, which might be dumb of me but there’s a vibe.

29. Like now it’s Inoki vs. Kido and I know how this is gonna go. They aren’t gonna swerve me here.

30. Ueda gets tagged in for a POP. Like, a quick, high, loud POP. This crowd wants Ueda vs. Maeda. They want a BAR FIGHT.

31. Ueda drags Maeda out of the ring for the double elimination and Maeda is PISSED. He hasn’t been this PISSED since his dad took his motocycle keys in high school. FUCK YOU, DAD, I HAVE A MEETING WITH MY DELINQUENT GANG. HOMEWORK IS FOR NERDS. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. Maeda’s soul is punching holes in drywall.

32. Look, it’s Inoki standing alone vs. Kido and Takada and that’s FINE, I guess. If you hate where this is going then I question why you’re watching 80’s NJPW at all. But I would much rather watch Maeda lose his shit on Ueda ringside and get the whole match thrown out.

33. Inoki

34. Beats

35. Everybody.

36. At least Inoki took some time to make Takada look like a million yen, if not bucks. And I get another Kido backdrop. That gets kicked out of at one. The issue isn’t a formula Inoki comeback, it’s that it happens directly after the BEST part of the match. It’s nice that both Inoki vs. Takada and Inoki vs. Kido are extended sequences because this match is so frenetic, so driven by its pieces constantly being in motion that there is relief in watching just one guy left on his team having to do his thing for a five-or-so-minute stretch.  And you’re just haunted by the specter of great singles matches that never happened during the UWF vs. NJPW stuff, but this is still a consistently engaging 35 minutes of top-shelf work, real stakes and a hot crowd.

Edited by John E. Dynamite
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On 12/21/2023 at 12:59 PM, HeadCheese said:

If you have any matches with wrestlers that are seemingly random pairings (like the Shibata/Great Khali tag) or wacky. I am looking for fun/unique more than all time great. I am okay with anything though (no overly gorey stuff).

Choosing Young Bucks vs. Colony for you

https://youtu.be/2wU2re7yIs4?si=JjCashZcUNVzqd9-

Seemingly random, eh? All right, I think I can help you there.

From what you've posted so far, it looks like we have got pretty similar tastes (i.e. we both dig the weird/amusing stuff) so I don't think I need to request "NO WWE OR NXT FOR OLD GORDLOW PLEASE!" but I will anyway.

 I'm gonna try to give you THREE choices. Possibly, one of the doors will have a tiger behind it. While I was tickled when Casey reviewed two of the Bull title matches I gave him and overjoyed when Matt just reviewed ALL of the matches I handed him, I want to make it clear that IT'S PERFECTLY FINE TO JUST CHOOSE ONE. The CAPS are more for my internet buddy porksweats than for you, HeadCheese. I worry that the reason I haven't seen a review of one of the before they were stars ROH matches I gave him is that maybe porky thinks I expect him to do multiple reviews and that is proving daunting.  Also, getting matched up with porksweats and HeadCheese makes me smile. 

I need to switch browsers to post videos, and scroll through my YT history to find my random pairings matches. Please be patient as I append three videos to this post. Also: No need to post my match three times. Once will be fine 😉

Also: Allow me to encourage anyone participating or lurking to dish out the likes and HaHas and Thank You Trophies to anyone doing a decent review longer than a paragraph in this thread. Probably doesn't matter to most of the participants, but: There's some good stuff here! It deserves all the love. Also: My Panamanian wrestling write up from last week getting ZERO love bummed me out and it feels discouraging. Look at John E's review above. It's amusing AND insightful. If you don't give that a like there's something wrong with you. If you are reluctant to give out likes because you are trying to "win the day" THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE CHOICES. Spreading joy is better than winning. And apparently the key to "winning the day" is just to spam every thread, so why would anyone take pride or joy in that anyway? SPREAD THE JOY AND APPRECIATION!

Anyway: not really random, but certainly weird and enjoyable: Mutoh and a Mutoh impersonator vs Tenzan and a Chono impersonator:

Random, random, random.... How about Sabu, Kasai... and my boy Kikutaro?

Or... Suzuki and Nakazawa? In a match that I am CERTAIN helped to inspire Stadium Stampede

No tigers, but... two non-gory Kasai matches 

Edited by Gordi the former AEW fan
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18 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Sorry if I'm taking a minute to catch up, it's been a rough week. Will give me something to focus on moving forward, though. 

No worries on my end. I get the sense this is going to be the last week this round (it's getting trickier to ensure new pairings), but that means all the time in the world to get the reviews out. 

For you I've got a one-two punch of underlooked Carlos Colon that we watched recently for the PR project.

Vs Jason the Terrible

And vs Abudda Dein

 

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Gotcha. I don't remember Abudda Dein being... good... but it isn't Hercules Ayala so I can deal. I mean it's not like Jason is good either but "dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way." And a hockey mask is personality enough sometimes.

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Okay Matt, here is one I've wanted you to watch since I saw it, because I think you will either cringe, laugh, maybe both at the same time... or possibly LIKE it? I don't want it to feel like one of the "Matt is gonna hate it" challenges but it could be that. FWIW I thought it was good, but in a way waaaaay beyond what I typically consider "good". 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5VcdTAvfL4&ab_channel=TNAWrestling

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2 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Okay Matt, here is one I've wanted you to watch since I saw it, because I think you will either cringe, laugh, maybe both at the same time... or possibly LIKE it? I don't want it to feel like one of the "Matt is gonna hate it" challenges but it could be that. FWIW I thought it was good, but in a way waaaaay beyond what I typically consider "good". 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5VcdTAvfL4&ab_channel=TNAWrestling

…I will take it with grace, at least until I watch it.

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22 hours ago, AxB said:

OK, Zimbra, here you go: Les Kellett vs "Beautiful" Bobby Barnes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A78qtLPRr6o

OK, see if this works.

Masao Orihara vs Shinjiro Ohtani 5/25/99 in a "Who can be a bigger dickhead?" match.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IEGW5ZdQFh9SsfiOJqO4y3AxkLS82bF9/view?usp=sharing

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On 1/3/2024 at 12:08 PM, brynn9292 said:

Nice to be paired up with you this round Mr. Dynamite! What sort of stuff can I attempt to dig up for you?

uuuhhh

there are certain things that get selected a little too often. so, no classic japan. no joshi. no popular american wrestling tv. anything else is groovy.

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6 hours ago, John E. Dynamite said:

uuuhhh

there are certain things that get selected a little too often. so, no classic japan. no joshi. no popular american wrestling tv. anything else is groovy.

Ok, here's something then that I have zero idea what it is but it sounds neat ... Al Madril, Tuco Flores & Tom Prichard vs. Ox Baker, John Tolos & Gran Goliath from 1980
https://youtu.be/kYs8bTybAps?si=nD_B2aYP5J7BxUKU

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1 hour ago, brynn9292 said:

Ok, here's something then that I have zero idea what it is but it sounds neat ... Al Madril, Tuco Flores & Tom Prichard vs. Ox Baker, John Tolos & Gran Goliath from 1980
https://youtu.be/kYs8bTybAps?si=nD_B2aYP5J7BxUKU

Relatively comprehensible Spanish commentary para este gringo. So they clip everything from this match that doesn't involve Chico Flores being the active participant. It's basically a long heat segment on Chico, then the hot tag to Madril that gets clipped 30 seconds in, then the finish of Tolos winning with a knee drop. Issue is as far as I can tell Chicho's the least interesting guy in the match. He's fine enough at taking the heat, and I might be underrating him just because I can't see the actual payoff.

This is a chunk of what's clearly a fun tag match, what we might call a WAR tag match which has always been the vibe I've got from the limited amount of NWA Hollywood I've digested. The crossover between Mexican/border town talent + deep cut US guys who didn't get poached nearly to the extent that Southern and Midwestern guys did when Vince Jr. rolled around creates matches that are anything but played-out to my eyes. The tiny bits of Madril's brawling babyface fire seems as good as I remember it, and MAN does Pritchard look young. I'd have loved to see him do anything here but it's all cut. The heels are pretty interesting and Ox is always a plus but it's Gran Goliath who gets the brunt of the time and he clearly knows what he's doing with Flores. I think I know Gran Goliath? I think he did some work in the Vince Sr./NJPW realm?? He's the most interesting rudo here. This is a baffling cut of an under-represented time + place in wrestling that leaves some major unscratched itches. I want to see Madril vs. Gran Goliath, I guess. I want to see the Dos Caras main event they half-announced at the start of the video. This Armstrong Alley YouTube channel is a trip and a half.

Edited by John E. Dynamite
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7 hours ago, brynn9292 said:

 

Here's a very good episode WWE C TV - it's the Velocity before Wrestlemania XX. Outside of my shitty high school's drama program falling apart, it was 2004 Velocity that called me to the backyard oh so long ago... so I had to check if it was still great television and sometimes it really was. The first match on the broadcast is the match in question. and it is

Jamie Noble vs. Paul London - Savannah, GA 3/2/04 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wroCYa9p57U

Golden Age ROH INVADES~ WWE programming. They're given twice the amount of time you'd figure they'd have and the crowd is full of pre-Mania hype. The whole episode is quite a bit of fun.

Edited by John E. Dynamite
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CARLOS COLON VS. ABUDDA DEIN

Dein is billed as being from "Pal-ee-stine" by Hugo... over and over again. I guess that's special to him. Meanwhile he looks like Johnny K-9 wearing Abby/Sheik boots. This is basic as you get but that's Puerto Rico for you, and why it can be so entertaining after watching the dense skill of current wrestling. You get your early shine with Carlos busting open Dein (of course), including piledriving him on a stack of baseboards. Dein gets his heat by clubbering his way back into control and plays "hide the object" for awhile. Carlos kicks him in the nuts, goes back on offense, cartwheel, backslide, win. A blueprint for PR wrestling. I noticed that by '89 they finally figured out that they needed to put up fencing around the ring/baseball diamond area, but there are still nosebleeds so you can see stuff thrown that makes it over the fence anyway. 

CARLOS COLON VS. JASON THE TERRIBLE

THE DANGER~! PR-style barbed wire was single strands between the ropes back around the posts and lengths of it wrapped around all three ropes diagonally. It looks pretty cool. Dick Slater and Ricky Santana are mercifully on commentary instead of the absolute misery of Buck Robley. Dick is quite the chatterbox and kinda sounds like Steve Austin on speed. Carlos gets tortured for a long time, even low-blown (another PR staple, Mexico too of course) until he finally turns the tide by tossing Jason into the different sides before ripping off the mask and putting it on for some of his own headbutts. Karl Moffat -- I guess it's him? --  is revealed to be just as much of a blade freak as the guy who wore the mask in W*ING and was actually Puerto Rican by hitting a gusher for the boss. It frankly gets rather ghastly as at one point you can see that Carlos has left a bloody handprint on Jason's back from pushing him into Irish whips. Jason hits a big flying knee from the ropes, misses a second, and Carlos leaps on him for the figure four. They battle with a turnover by Jason but Carlos flips him back for the verbal tap. Camera men know where their bread is buttered as they get some gnarly closeups of the dripping visage of Jason. If you want to know why PR has its rep as a bloody territory, here you go! Simple, but wild stuff.

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On 1/2/2024 at 4:32 PM, Curt McGirt said:

Sorry if I'm taking a minute to catch up, it's been a rough week. Will give me something to focus on moving forward, though. 

-hugs if its okay- hope things got/get better soon. Its alright to got at your pace

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On 1/2/2024 at 4:28 PM, Gordi the former AEW fan said:

Seemingly random, eh? All right, I think I can help you there.

From what you've posted so far, it looks like we have got pretty similar tastes (i.e. we both dig the weird/amusing stuff) so I don't think I need to request "NO WWE OR NXT FOR OLD GORDLOW PLEASE!" but I will anyway.

 I'm gonna try to give you THREE choices. Possibly, one of the doors will have a tiger behind it. While I was tickled when Casey reviewed two of the Bull title matches I gave him and overjoyed when Matt just reviewed ALL of the matches I handed him, I want to make it clear that IT'S PERFECTLY FINE TO JUST CHOOSE ONE. The CAPS are more for my internet buddy porksweats than for you, HeadCheese. I worry that the reason I haven't seen a review of one of the before they were stars ROH matches I gave him is that maybe porky thinks I expect him to do multiple reviews and that is proving daunting.  Also, getting matched up with porksweats and HeadCheese makes me smile. 

I need to switch browsers to post videos, and scroll through my YT history to find my random pairings matches. Please be patient as I append three videos to this post. Also: No need to post my match three times. Once will be fine 😉

Also: Allow me to encourage anyone participating or lurking to dish out the likes and HaHas and Thank You Trophies to anyone doing a decent review longer than a paragraph in this thread. Probably doesn't matter to most of the participants, but: There's some good stuff here! It deserves all the love. Also: My Panamanian wrestling write up from last week getting ZERO love bummed me out and it feels discouraging. Look at John E's review above. It's amusing AND insightful. If you don't give that a like there's something wrong with you. If you are reluctant to give out likes because you are trying to "win the day" THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE CHOICES. Spreading joy is better than winning. And apparently the key to "winning the day" is just to spam every thread, so why would anyone take pride or joy in that anyway? SPREAD THE JOY AND APPRECIATION!

Anyway: not really random, but certainly weird and enjoyable: Mutoh and a Mutoh impersonator vs Tenzan and a Chono impersonator:

Random, random, random.... How about Sabu, Kasai... and my boy Kikutaro?

Or... Suzuki and Nakazawa? In a match that I am CERTAIN helped to inspire Stadium Stampede

No tigers, but... two non-gory Kasai matches 

Thank you!!! Excited to watch!!

May you please teach how embed videos on here too.

I'm giving you Billy Ken Kid vs. Ultimo Spider Jr

https://youtu.be/TT1AcxbFrME?si=Sqp0a71aWXRmxJXv

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8 hours ago, HeadCheese said:

Thank you!!! Excited to watch!!

May you please teach how embed videos on here too.

I'm giving you Billy Ken Kid vs. Ultimo Spider Jr

https://youtu.be/TT1AcxbFrME?si=Sqp0a71aWXRmxJXv

OK. This is completely amazing. I actually know the back-story to this match! But first: I don't have a computer, I just use tablets. So for me the only option is to use Firefox to post videos and/or pictures. (I am on Firefox now, and I am going to post a TON of pictures to explain why this match is such an AMAZING pick for me. Then I will have to switch to Chrome to write it up, because I can't do paragraph breaks on Firefox). w/r/t embedding: Apparently on a PC you can take the "s"  out of "https" and posting works fine. So, on Firefox, or if you can change it to http, you just need to copy and paste the video link to embed.

Second thing: Don't know if you're aware of my posting history here and elsewhere but I was a regular at Osaka Pro shows, events, and parties from 2009-2012 and still take part in various Osaka indie wrestling events, barbecues, and parties when time permits. 

Billyken and Spider are guys I have known for years. Both of them have gone out of their way to invite me to events, make me feel welcome, engage me in conversation etc etc since the days when I first moved to Japan, even when I could barely form a sentence in Japanese and being friendly toward me involved real effort. They are great guys. Could not be nicer. I really like both of them and it always makes me happy to see them again.

Here are a handful of pictures of us, over the last FIFTEEN years:

w3XeR4V.jpg

ZsptjdL.jpg

oH6lSSQ.jpg

hIVdaeZ.jpg

9Pk4wCM.jpg

Third thing: I KNOW THE BACKSTORY! This was probably from 2019, (maybe February?) the first anniversary of Bistro de Ramekin, which I have been told is a nice place to go for lunch, a few minutes walk from Namba Station in Osaka. If I understand correctly, Spider's brother has connections to the restaurant. 

wajHGPU.jpg

The card was:

My good drinking buddy Osamu vs freelance joshi wrestler Itsuki Aoki (If you are reading this, Stefanie, I am 99% sure Aoki also works for Ice Ribbon)

Then the Billyken (not Billy Ken. Billyken, after the Billiken good luck charm statue in the Tsutenkaku tower which is an Osaka landmark) vs Ultimate Spider Junior match that you gave me. 

Then they had a battle royal! I would LOVE to see how they made a 4-person battle royal work in that space! And that is just CLASSIC small-show booking!

TikPw7v.jpg

Wu0cnSX.jpg

Last thing: All of it on tiny shiny elementary school PE class gym mats. In a space even more enclosed than Gatoh Move's Ichigaya Chocolate Square. If you look at that picture (from Billyken's blog) and watch the video (which everyone reading this REALLY should) you get a very clear picture of how tiny the space is.

And Billy and USJ work a pretty stiff and competitive match in there! 

So obviously the challenge is how do you work in such a limited space? Particularly considering both of these guys are known  for their speed in the ring and there's no easy way to use that here. The answer at first seems to be mat work and chop exchanges. But eventully they throw caution to the wind and bust out some rapidfire exchanges and a couple of big moves! It's too much fun. I was literally laughing in delight. But also with the entire audience so close to the action, you can't let any light show, so they are working really tight. So I was both delighted and impressed.

Going to a ChocoPro show is 100% on my bucket list. I think I am going to have to try and finagle an invitation to a show where Billyken breaks out his gym mats as well. 

Thank you so much for this! Really, everyone should watch this match. It's well under ten minutes and it's really very interesting and clever how they work around the limitations of the tiny space.

 

PLEASE BE PATIENT WHILE I JUMP BETWEEN BROWSERS AND FINISH THIS!

Edited by Gordi the former AEW fan
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